Fear Of The Blank Page - Writer's Block, Etc., anyone got stories to share?

I had been composing lyric and music from the time I was 12 years old, I had played and written for many bands, It was in the late `70s and my brother and myself had gotten together for the first time and it just HUMMED!!!

We were ready to record for a semi-national label and go on tour; his wife had other ideas... it seemed she had a groupie fear ( all the time as she was screwing her neighbor )...

It never happened! He was the good husband and gave into her fears ( they are no longer together ). I have not picked up my instruments nor written a lick of verse since... it just zapped all the creativity right out of me!!!

Aaediwen, that's what my husband keeps telling me, but I have been too hardheaded to listen!

Elspeth! Yeah, let's take all the pressure off ourselves and do what we were made to do -- create! I want to hear about what you are working on now. And tomorrow? In the studio for me!

desertrose,
I wish my husband was telling me that. Instead I feel this push to contribute to the family income. I've been home for the last 13 years and my youngest started 1st grade this year. So, I'm in the quagmire of guilt and obligation while still trying to hold onto a belief in my ability. For the reality is we definately need the money.

And where I am is sitting on a huge project. One that will take a year, at least, to write and I've alread invested many, many months researching and still will have to spend more. It can be all quite exciting, if I felt justified doing it.

I got re-energized writing, then got stuck on exactly who a character was at a certian point in his life. (btw - if you ever read DG's Outlandish Companion she has a good section there on character development, how some just walk in and introduce themselves and others are tough nuts to crack) Anyway, I digress, I requested a phone interview of a friend who had seen similar circumstances. After waiting over a week, finally it should come to pass tomorrow.

I have been wondering if perhaps I should back off on the novel and try and write something shorter that can get published. I know a publishing history would be immensely helpful to my query letters. Or enter contests. I don't know. That part of the business drains the creativity right out of me. And the reality is with four kids, there is only so much time. And I do spend too much of it here.

It's late and I ramble.

Shadows, do you miss the writing and playing? If so, I hope it comes back to you some day.

desertrose, get in that studio! Crank up your tunes and create for the fun of it.

Hello everyone, Siusaidh here...

I'm a newbie, invited in by Celtic Rose. We are artists, and she told me about the dicussion on writer's/creative block you have going on. Oh, that's a familiar topic to me!! For several years now, I find myself doing other things that take up my time so that I don't go into the studio... one load of laundry turns into three plus drying and folding, one errand turns into an afternoon full of them...
these things need tending to, but what lets me know something is wrong is the sense of relief I feel when I realize its almost time to pick my daughter up at school and I don't have any studio time left. I am not very disciplined about spending some time every day in the studio! Its the fear of starting a new project sometimes, or its suspecting that I don't know what to do yet to finish that drawing still on the table.

Sometimes too my problem is not what to draw, its which image to draw... I sometimes have several floating around in my mind and all of them are enticing, but I don't know which to begin first!

I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened to you Shadows.

I started writing music about 9 years ago and have had a lot of negative happen during that time (nothing quite as devastating as loosing my writing partner) But I have always channeled the negative into the music, somtimes even creating a song that I really liked out of the situation (turning the negative to positive)

But on topic, I try to write on a regular basis (I am also writing a novel) but I do songwriting as much as I can. The hard thing for me right now is lyrics, trying to say something new or from a different perspective. I will listen to what others write and try to get into their heads and see things from their point of veiw often I will try to facilitate this by seeing tools that my favorite authors use.

I many times am not happy with what I write as consistent writing does not wait for the inspiration but what I have found to happen is that the inspiration will often hit during my regular writing period. Also if the inspiration hits at a time that is inconvenient I need to be able to stop what I am doing long enough to grab and retain the idea (ususally on my laptop now but previously on a sony pressman)

I then will spend 3-5 hours refining and crafting that idea to have 3-4 minutes of completed material.

But that is how I work through the block. For a long time I had a fear that each song could be my last and that the Muse would depart never to return I have since gotten over such foolish notions.

I also Empathize with Aaediwin. As we go out and play our music our friends (sometimes friends we met at our shows) tell us how wonderful our music is and I have a hard time acceptin what they say as they are our friends now. I always tell them that I can't trust them any more because I fear that they have lost their objectivity because they now like us personally.

We have won a few awards, charted on commercial radio (before the hostile Clear Channel take over ) and resently were offered record deals from a couple of mid-sized independant labels so I am beginning to trust that what we do is good. I like it anyway.

Keep on writing and drawing everyone and your muse will not disappoint.

Peace

Mikel

I feel that same pressure, to contribute financially to my family's income. Sometimes I do have sales, since two galleries carry my work right now, and its cool to open the mail box and find a check there... but that doesn't happen on a regular basis. I do wish sales were bigger & more frequent. We could certainly use the money too... I feel guilty that I don't contribute more often, but my husband says he doesn't mind and thinks that sales come when we seem to need the money. He's right, it does happen either before a good travel opportunity arises... or a major appliance breaks!

Just recently I had two solo exhibitions, but no originals sold from either one; just a few reproductions. I was sooo disappointed - now I have to find storage space for about 60 originals at my home! Imagine how roomy the studio & basement were without them in there!! Sigh....

Elspeth! I hear what you are saying about having to contribute to the family. I was in those shoes once myself. It was very difficult having to work a job and produce artwork and do shows too to at least buy my art supplies! It creates a lof pressure and thus stifleing the creativity. I was bad today and didn't get into the studio. I had house chores to do. I tend to do like Siusaidh and put off going into the studio to do house chores and get on here instead! But the day isn't over yet!

Shadows, I feel a lot of sadness for what happened to you. A similar thing happened to my dad. He was a professional drummer and could have gone further into his music if it had not been for my mother. Because of her fears too, she squelched his music career and was a very unhappy man for the rest of his life because of it.

And we painters hear the same things by our friends and family, how good we are and yet we question the sincerity.

I think the field that we are all in is a very difficult one to make a living in and can be very frustrating if you produce. It would be nice to at least sell so you can afford to buy more creativity supplies.

These stories have all warmed my heart and I appreciate everybody being so honest and forthcoming about their experiences.

Glad to know that I'm not the only one who feels the way I do It's quite a relief. I must say that the butterflies in my stomach were flapping a bit as I typed that. But it's the truth. I notice some replies to some stuff here that I haven't read yet. I'm a little nervous as yet that I have not yet discovered all of the reprocussions that post may have had.

Hey! Aaediwen! You were being honest which is what this thread is all about. I appreciate honesty not fluff. You gave us your honest feelings and I would rather hear that from someone but a bunch of bull.....

I try to be as honest as possible to myself and those around me. I figure that if I do that then the rule of 3 will facilitate everything else tending to itself. Besides, since when did the alternative ever accomplish anything without destroying more first?

I will not say I am an unhappy person; I have found other avenues of expression to help calm the creative beast in me; yet I do miss the music! I thank you for your feelings of sadness it shows you understand and are a true friend.

Shadows! I am glad to hear that you have found other creative venues for expressing yourself. It comforting to know us creative people will always find a way to let those juices flow, eh?

When I start painting or drawing a picture my first mark is an emotional one..
must come from the creative side?
Annabelle

I guess for me my Poetry is the hardest for me to write. There are times when I want to deny what I am feeling, so that makes it hard, besides the fact posting things in Celtic hearts scares me when it is one of my own works. You all have been sosupportive but I still get that little voice in my head that says" They will hate it and laugh you out, why don't you just skip posting. Your a failure." But I post anyway knowing that I have issues that I must still deal with. Rejection being one of them.

Ah, Angel, rejection. One of my FAVORITE concepts.

Rejection is one of my bugaboos as well. It was a great measure of how much I wanted to be published that I ever sent query letter one. Now I have a file full of them. I get some sort of perverse satisfaction in them ? proof that I put myself out there that many times We artists are a queer lot. But part of what kept me going was that I thought it to be a good example for my children. They saw me try, saw me fail, saw me cry, saw me dry my eyes and try again. They saw me know when to quit and try again with the new book. If nothing else ever comes of my endeavors, at least I accomplished that.

Now, a peeve. I hate it that agents make it clear they do not like to be one of multiple queries, but then they take six weeks or more to respond. It makes the process drag out forever. I tell myself that the longer it takes, the more likely I am being seriously considered. But these holding patterns are either maddening or a good excuse to slack off and play online too much.

Discipline! That's what I need. I need to set aside at least an hour everyday and write. No excuses. Anyone with me? Anyone want to make an early New Year's resolution with me?

Yes! Elspeth! I want to make a commitment to paint at least an hour every day! I need someone to be accountable to. I think I would be a much happier person if I was painting. This constant craving need inside me is there, but I succumbed to feelings of failure and allowed it to take the enjoyment of painting away from me because I got so side-tracked into thinking I had to sell or else! Like Aaediwen said, the heck with selling! I need to create because I was born to. I get neurotic anyway if I don't. So having said all that, I am happy to say that I painted in the studio this moring for two hours. In that two hours I got a lot accomplished too! It felt so good.

Elspeth, maybe you have answered this before. Have you ever had anything published? My sister-in-law is a published "inspirational romance" writer. Is doing very well for herself now, but it has been a lot of hard work for her to get where she is now. She has been published in Christian magazines and has deadlines all the time now. I will see her in a few weeks and I will try to ask some questions for you, should you have any.

I have a lot of admiration for your writers. You have to spend a lot of time alone to do your work. At least while I am painting and drawing, I can have conversation and talk on the phone if I need to. It takes a great deal more discipline to do what you all do than me, I think.