Nocturnaline's Journal

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Joined: 07-Jun-2004
Birthday: 26-Jan-1977
Total Posts: 3367
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i love the Highlands, myths and legends, the music from the middle age and the celtic one, even if they are not the only kind of music i love, i have to confess, that i'm abble to listening to that kind of music during several days without being borred a minute.<br>I've studied philosophy during several years, but now i'm just looking for the best direction i've to take to be in the right way in my life
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The trip...
Posted by Nocturnaline on May 14th, 2007 7:58 PM
I'm finally back from Scotland. This travel had not been the one I dreamed about... I met several problems which have completly changed the face of it.

The first thing had been that leaving home to late and getting lost in Paris suburbs, I finally missed the ferry I was expected to take... But I've been quite lucky in my bad luck, because I managed to buy a ticket for the next crossing, then I had just few minutes to wait before the next one. The thing that I should have guessed was that this was just the beginning of the problems...

After having slept into Newcastle for the first night, I started to drive the next morning to reach Coldingham Sands Youth Hostel, which is not very far away from Newcastle... After about one hour on the road I had an accident with my car; someone crashed the back of my car! My car have been towed to a garage... Where it stayed during about 2 weeks!
The thing is that just two days before they brought my car in front of the YH in Coldingham Sands, the manager of this SYH had called the garage to know when they thought my car would be ready, and they said to him that it would take something like one week... Then as I was quite in a hurry to move away, (my first desire during this trip was to reach the north west of Scotland and not to spend several days here) I decided to go by buses up to the north, leaving most of my luggage behind me, and when they brought my car, I was far away from Coldingham...
But as I didn't want to go back to take back my car, to come back exactly where I was at that time, I decided to spend the time I expected to spend there, it's to say at Ratagan ( a little town near Shiel Bridge) and after that time I would go back to Coldingham...
While I was in Ratagan I walked a lot, the weather was really beautiful, it was very pleasant. The thing is that sometimes I don't really know where is my brain... Then I missed to be wedged on a hill face which was too much hard for me, I'm quite a good walker but if I can climb up quite easily, it's really different concerning climbing down cause I am really scared of heights... Then I have lived one hour of pure anguish, and you can believe me if I say you that, when I have seen that I had spent only one hour climbing up, I could't believe it , I thought much more time was spent... But I really felt relieved discovering on the other side of this hill another way, which was really easier and safer for myself...

And the landscapes I discovered at the top were so wonderful, that I regret but not so much...

After few days in Ratagan I went back to Coldingham, and, as I already knew, my car was there...

Then I have finally been able to spend few days as I would have like to spend each day of this trip... driving to some places I really wanted to see...
I have discovered Dunottar Castle, and if you allow me to give you an advice, it's wholeheartedly a place to go and visit!
And after one night in Aberdeen, I drove to Carbisdale Castle, the "haunted castle" SYH, it is quite urge, a nice building and a lot of artistic works to discover in it...
Everything would have been perfect if, once again, I hadn't lost my brain on the way... Before having checked in, I've locked my keys in my car... the only thing I had with me, was my camera and the rest of my staff was in the car! And to do it properly, it was a sunday and the closest garage the woman who worked at the reception desk of the YH found, was in Inverness... This cost me a lot of money, but what could I do?

Happily the few days remaining have been quiter, even if unfortunately the rain fellowed me during these days... But I was not disappointed to have it as a fellower, cause the light playing with the clouds allows to take pictures which are really interesting.

At the end my feelings concerning my trip are really contrasted, it's always a great pleasure for me to spend times into Scotland especially into the Highlands, but in the same time I'm a little bit disappointed to have not managed to realise the real travel I dreamed about...
With time, I can say that it's not so bad, that way I can dream of a next trip of that kind, I just think that I would try to go back a longer time... It won't be tomorrow cause I need to keep money left before and it would take quite a lot of time but I will do it I'm sure!
Waiting for that big trip, I won't stay too much time far away this country, I can't... And I will take back my back-bag and will go by plane for little journeys, waiting for my dream to really become true!

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My travel is approaching...
Posted by Nocturnaline on Mar 15th, 2007 9:26 PM
My brother seems to be well and it's the best news, I hope that everything would be all right with his wife now he is better!
Then now, I am enough well too, to really feel excited! Just one month and I would be in Scotland... It becomes "really real"...
My car is more or less as if it was new, at least as much as it could be with a 13-year-old one... Then I am sure that I could go by car!
It is a great opportunity to be able to stop as much as I want to take all the pictures which could inspired me!
I will miss you during this trip, but if I could I would come some times to say hello!

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Posted by Nocturnaline on Feb 21st, 2007 9:36 PM
My brother came back home yersterday... His wife is less confident than his medicine man about his recovery; but as it is to the medicine man to decide, she has just to do with this decision... I went to visit him the last week-end and i confess that he wasn't entirely as he was before stopping his treatment. But how could i know exactly how he should be to be "normal"...
After all, i don't know him very well, even if i know him better than he knows me. It could seem strange, but infact, he was 15 when i'm born, and he was far away from home for his studies, and he left home very soon after his compulsory military service... then we haven't really lived together... And we haven't made up for this lack yet... I hope we will one day...
Now that the pressure is a little reduced in my family, I have lowered my guard, and as always i feel i'm slowly lapsing again... the after-effects without doubt... but as i wasn't very well before them... It isn't very good...
The most strange for me is that the prospect of my next travel into Scotland doesn't produce anything else that melancholy in my soul, whereas it is my dream which will become reality... I don't understand what is happening in my mind, I just want to cry, and saying that, tears are running on my face... Perhaps it's better for me to stop writting right now... Cause it's difficult to be crying while being at a front desk of an hostel even if it's during the night time...

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Posted by Nocturnaline on Feb 13th, 2007 9:14 PM
I am relieved concerning my mother, she is back home and the results for her heart are very good.
Concerning my brother, he still be at the hospital, we don't know exactly when he could go back to his home, but i'm aware of the fact that it takes time to manage to measure out a medicine correctly, then we have just to wait...
At least as i was less worried yesterday, i managed to sleep more than 4 hours... which can only be a good thing, considering that i need to sleep a lot to be in fine form...
Nothing more for today...

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ups and down...
Posted by Nocturnaline on Feb 11th, 2007 6:46 PM
Difficult to define my state of mind tonight... it is very contrasted infact...

I am very tired, i woke up at 4:00 Am and i've been unable to sleep again before begining working at 9:00 PM, now it's just 0:15 Am, i finish at 6:30 Am... As you can imagine, this night is a very long night for me... And as if it wasn't enough i have a cold... I feel my brain is like in a heavy cloud... Does it mean something? I don't know, but somewhere in this brain, it's certainly meaning full.

Aside from this, I can say that my blues is quite gone away... Perhaps it is just because my brain is quite unable to really think about anything... Am i clear? I really feel that what i'm writting doesn't mean anything... It's quite boring!
Whatever it is, it's not too bad...

The most strange is that my heart is still heavy because of few matters in my family... My mother is at the hospital to have heart diagnostic... And my eldest brother who is bipolar, have cracked down these last days because he has discontinued his medical treatment...
Concerning my mother it was foretold, then even if it is always frightening, i try to keep cool...
But concerning my brother, it was unexpected.
My sister-in-law had finally called an ambulance on yesterday to drive him in the
fitted departement hospital. It's very hard to understand what really happens into his mind, he is a true active person, the matter with the treatment the spychologist gave him, is that it drove him listlessly... and he was conscious of this lack of energy... And he couldn't bear it anymore... And then he had just stopped his treatment, as if he thought he was cured... but he knows that it is an illness which can't be cured...

Infact, my blues is fading away because my family needn't some new trouble, i've to be strong for them, and not a further burden... I have some troubles to communicate with my family, which envolves that my reactions are often construed as a sign of desinterest, which of course is a misconception... My reactions are more the consequences of the fact that i hide my feelings, wanting to not load them with my own devils...

A least, I wish that everything would spring back before my travel, for them and i confess also for myself, selfishly cause this trip is my dream and i wouldn't leave it fully if a big piece of my soul stay at home...

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Please forgive my mistakes, i've finallly decided to take part in forums, especially in "Fun N Games" to begin; but my english isn't very "sure"... Then, don't hesitate to rectify or ignore a post which is meaningless!

Thank you for your leniency...

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