Poetry, Sometimes Wisdom...

I don't write poetry, I write prose. But after I got reading Tolkien I was inspired by the little songs of lore the characters would burst into. This is like those, just not as good.

Echonil?s curse

On an endless black day in the land of endless night
Echonil on an earthen rug bathed in firelight
From the hearth the wood crackled and burned
The fire revealing pain and tear as he yearned
For Radia who lived in the other world
Of endless light where life unfurled

Echonil cried feeling he could cope no more
As he thought of his love on the farthest shore
He rose to his feet, his mind filled to the brim
With thoughts of leaving with naught to stop him
Armed with a lowly knife he set out on an unfamiliar track
To the Elderhouse for a way out with no thoughts of coming back

Very nice old raven.... I really enjoyed it

Thanks a lot Barddas. I rarely share my writing with anyone. Usualy just my automotive stuff. You put less of yourself into journalism.


It's a three part piece I did. Let me know if anyone would like to see the rest.

Thanks again.

Bring them on!!!!

Echonil in the Elderhouse

With great speed he fled from the land he'd lived so long
For hope that soon he should hear Radia's siren song
So for weeks Echonil passed by brook and field
To Elderhouse so he might learn to pass the dark worlds sheild
If only to see the land of light and peace
Where at long last his heart would find it's release.

Echonil fell upon the steps of Elderhouse with questions fast in mind
'I beg of thee, oh Elderin, grant me wisdom, so my star I shall find.'
But the Elderin stood fast, this land of dark their beloved home
'What you seek cannot be told, lest you live your life to roam,
In search of escape to that which you shall not reach,
for the bonds to break before you are through are difficult to breach.'

Echonils rage burned at these words, for he knew he would have to prove his worth
'I will do as is required, for I will surely die, but in the land of light I shall have rebirth.
Show me how I might inherit that splendid other land
For I will someday turn to shadow and shall live without guiding hand.'
His words moved the Elderin and their pity they laid upon him
For as they were once men like Echonil they saw his future was dim.

'Go east beyond the stones of Denerothe and you shall find the passage there
And when you enter the Great Barrier the trials thou shall find to fill you with dispair.'
With many a thanks Echonil withdrew for he was given what he asked
And when the path before him stretched forth the way home had been masked.
'Move on with courage young Echonil, for we can guide thee not.
The path you have to find yourself.' The Elderin provide what he sought.

The last line, I just can't seem to get it right.

The Stones of Denerothe

Echonil walked on, his search taking him to the stones
of Denerothe, where the world was empty but for broken armor and bones.
This place was once a home for battle, between two hatefull kings
An anchient dispute, death and pain is what Denerothe brings.
The men of Kanduet, all wise and keepers of life
Saw the battles and watched the peasants low in strife.

The war of Reendol and Beolak, was haulted by the Kanduet
For they wanted only peace, and thus the two kings met
With these men of love and life, who would stop the war at all cost.
But the kings would not agree, and so peace was once again lost.
So the Kanduet, with anchient power from which no man has memory
Bore down on the kings and thus their reign existed now in history.

Echonil stared at the two kings, cold and lifeless with no form
And thus passed through the barrier and stepped into the storm.
When the Kings were defeated, the men continued to fight
With no lord to order them, this new war had no wrong or right.
The Kanduet were wracked with sorrow to see their efforts a waste
They split the world in two and the peoples were devided with haste.

Thus the barrier was born and the men forgot their anger
And so began new lives where war would be lost forever.
But this act was too much for the Kanduet, so they faded turning hollow
And the world they lived in followed them, thus their homeland fell under shadow.
The light that once had covered the earth had now gone forever
Accross the sea of maddness where the men of Beolak would see night never.[/COLOR]

I'm going to start calling you "The Phoenix" Jason.

Oldraven,

I love your prose. I too like to write prose, but I'm not as good as you. Please think about continuing the story with a ray of hope from a unlikely hero who journeys to find the key to unlock the light once again. Just a suggestion.

I've got about 5 pages die to write for this thread... I had it all typed out then Mozilla got hung in a loop and I had to restart it. Let's blame it on Barddas =) for GP Tomorrow promises to be slow at work, maybe I'll type it out and post it somewhere.... All sorts about that mystical spirit place from wence words come.

That's the most positive response I've ever gotten from my writing. Honestly. I've had comments before, even positive, but not like that.





Thank you.

Old Raven,

I like the story line and I too would like to see this carried on.

It also has a good flow to it. Ever since I started reading LOTR. I find myself reading with the same rhythmic flow and for me it makes reading more enjoyable.

Keep it up.

Thanks, Richard.

I know what you mean. As I was writing this, I kept picturing a little curly haired Hobbit standing on his chair blaring it out to the rest in the pub, or a Ranger singing to his company in the northern forests. I've never used rhyme before this, and if I had never read LOTR,I would not have tried.

Now that I'm armed with your encouragement, I will make it a point to follow this one through. Thanks, all of you folk.

THE STALKING

Afar on the ridge
A flicker of orange light
Smell its acrid breath

There beyond the pass
How did it get there so fast?
Wings of burning death

No escaping here
The dragon fire surrounds you
Sleep well after flame

-----------------------------
My own humble offering to those lives we've lost here in Southern California.

Touching. I've spoken with several people in that area recently. All I can say is, I'm glad I'm not there.
I like your statement to the plight of those folks.

Very moving Silverdragon.

Hope you and yours were spared the damage of the flames.