Pregnancy Jokes, Got any?

I'll start it off:


13 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife


13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th
is the Super Bowl."

12. "I bet you're about five pounds away
from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons
fella."

11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size
of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke
up next to Willard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the
joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Whoa, you're awfully puffy looking today."

5. "I finished the Oreo's."

4. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the
kid weighs 40 pounds."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the
size of Madagascar!"

2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam
retains water."

And the Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your
Pregnant Wife...

1. "You don't have the guts to pull the
trigger........."

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Hey are you getting fat or are ya knocked up?........always a crowd pleaser.

"Here, dear, let me do those dishes for you..." I admit it, in certain circumstances I am a COWARD.

Those are truly deadly!!

Now, add this one to that list:
It can't be "Time", I'm brewing!

Sometime you'll have to get my hubby to explain that one.....

Dreamer1

Seadog's favorite, through all three pregnancies, was "Thar she blows!"
Think about it, Ahab.....

"Thar she blows!"???? That's be one dead daddy.
Actually, my husband did tell me to "get my own ice cream" -- once. And only once. And then he learned that a six-foot red-haired hormonal pregnant woman can be one of the most frightening things on earth.

@-,-'---

THAT is scary!!

I can't imagine saying that to a 5' 6" red-haired hormonal pregnant woman let along one who is 6' tall.