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Irish Humor
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Paddy was driving down
the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't
find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he
said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to
Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey".
Miraculously, a parking
place appeared.
Paddy looked up again
and said, "Never mind, I found one."
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Father Murphy walks into
a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go
to heaven?"
The man said, "I do
Father."
The priest said, "Then
stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked
the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was
the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the
priest.
Then Father Murphy
walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?
O'Tool e said, "No, I
don't Father.
The priest said, "I
don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want
to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when
I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right
now."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
O'Toole worked in the
lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd been stealing the
wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he
went to confession to repent.
"Father, it's 15 years
since my last confession, and I've been stealing wood from the lumber
yard all those years," he told the priest.
"I understand my son,"
says the priest. "Can you make a Novena?"
O'Toole said, "Father,
if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Paddy was in New York He
was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop on a busy street
crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and sho uted, "Okay
pedestrians". Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this
several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had
shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and
said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"
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Gallagher opened the
morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column
that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney.
"Did you see the paper?"
asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied
Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
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An Irish priest is
driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an
empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been
drinking?"
"Just water," says the
priest.
The trooper says, "Then
why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the
bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
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I support the separation of church and hate!
IMAGINATION - the freest and largest nation in the world!
One can not profess to be of "GOD" and show intolerence and prejudice towards the beliefs of others.
Am fear nach gleidh na h–airm san t–sith, cha bhi iad aige ’n am a’ chogaidh.
He that keeps not his arms in time of peace will have none in time of war.
"We're all in this together , in the parking lot between faith and fear" ... O.C.M.S.
“Beasts feed; man eats; only the man of intellect knows how to eat well.”
"Without food we are nothing, without history we are lost." - SHADOWS
Is iomadh duine laghach a mhill an Creideamh.
Religion has spoiled many a good man.
The clan MacEwen
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Irish Humor
