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> More Bad Jokes From Maceoghainn, I've got more (somebody please stop me!)
MacEoghainn 
Posted: 28-Aug-2005, 05:15 PM
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ZodiacHazel

Realm: Cape Coral, Florida, USA, Planet Earth

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Top 10 Things Men Know About Women...

10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.

And #1 thing men know about women (Scroll Down)





whistling.gif





whistling.gif





whistling.gif






1. They have breasts. naughty.gif


--------------------
MacE
AKA
Steve Ewing

I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. Job 19:25

"Non sibi sed patriae!"

Reviresco (I grow strong again)
Clan MacEwen motto

Audaciter (Audacity)
My Ewing Family Motto
(descendants of Baron William Ewing of Glasgow, born about 1630)

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Abraham Lincoln

"Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum." from "Epitoma Rei Militaris," by Vegetius

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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 30-Aug-2005, 04:07 PM
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ZodiacHazel

Realm: Cape Coral, Florida, USA, Planet Earth

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World's Shortest and Best Fairy Tale



Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl



"Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "NO!"



And the guy lived happily ever after and

went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and

drank beer whenever he wanted.

THE END

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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 07-Sep-2005, 05:19 PM
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THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY



My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What was I thinking?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

************************************

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

####################################################
Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

********************************************

We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

=====================================================
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
))))))))))))))))
So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.
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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 01-Oct-2005, 09:00 AM
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Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer:

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand; a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr.Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher".

"Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.
Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife".

"Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said; "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry butts in jail for contempt."
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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 30-Oct-2005, 02:54 PM
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Parrots

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.

"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he
ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence.

Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed,
"Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered."
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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 15-Nov-2005, 06:13 PM
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A Magic Tale (ok, I admit it, it's another parrot joke!)

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

One problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show:

"Look, it's not the same hat!"

"Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table."

"Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious, but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.

Then the ship sank.

The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and then another.

Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back:

"OK, I give up. Where's the censored.gif censored.gif censored.gif ship?
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Madadh 
Posted: 16-Nov-2005, 05:42 AM
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As always MacE, I notworthy.gif notworthy.gif notworthy.gif to greatness.


--------------------
-----------------------
Céad Mile Fáilte


May God hold you in the hallows of his hands



American First, Irish Always



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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 20-Nov-2005, 07:56 AM
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Exact Change



A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The
waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a
coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says
the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That
will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out
the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A
hamburger, fries, and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the
waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato,
and salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress
brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls
the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your
pocket every time?"

! "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would
just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be
there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for
as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"



The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall

chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say." sad.gif
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Lil 
Posted: 27-Nov-2005, 12:29 AM
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I'm making up for lost time with these, lol.

Lil

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

oh, and I am glad to say, that the above does NOT represent me! smile.gif





1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Ø ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.........
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
7. A man goes to the doctor and says,
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, 'It's Not Unusual'."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

Ø ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of his office and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
17. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain - they name him "Juan".
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
---------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
18. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him....
(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)......
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
19. And finally, there was the person who sent nineteen different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did. [QUOTE]
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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 27-Nov-2005, 04:33 PM
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If the lovely Lil keeps posting zingers like those, we may have to rename this thread "More Bad Jokes From Lil"! biggrin.gif

In order to regain the upper hand here are some from yours truly:

CIA test

In order for the CIA to comply with federal standards for male to female ratios among its agents the "Company" had a ladies only job fair. Three of the applicants made it all the way to the final test.

The first gal walks into the director?s office and sits down. The director reaches in his desk and pulls out a pistol and lays it on his desk in front of the gal and tells her, "This test is to test your loyalty. Take this gun and go up the stairs and go into the first room on your right. Your husband will be in there. Put a bullet in his head." The gal looks at him and says,?I love my Husband, I could never do that" So the director says, "You fail."

The next gal comes in. The director tells her the same thing. She picks up the gun and heads for the room. She comes back about 15 minutes later. Tells the director that she just couldn`t go through with it. The director says, "you fail."

Now the third gal comes in, same scene. She heads up to the room. The director hears three shots, followed by a whole lot of ruckus (glass breaking, furniture getting smashed). The gal comes back into his office battered and bruised with her clothes torn. The director says, "What happened to you?" the gal replies, "After three shots I realized that there were blanks in the gun so I had to beat him to death."

10 Signs You Might Be Trailer Trash

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

If a tornado hits your home and causes $10,000 dollars worth of improvement.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."

You think Dom Perigon is a Mafia boss.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.


Reportedly seen on students report cards

The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.


Comebacks for stupid questions/comments

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a darn.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

If you had another brain cell, it would be lonely.


How to Insult Men (for the ladies, I?d post one for insulting women but I don?t want to die)

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

There is no vaccine against stupidity.

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

I'd like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.

He is the kind of a man that you could use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

You've got an IQ of 2. It?s a pity it takes 3 to grunt


Lawyer Q&A

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Attila the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

Q: What?s the difference between lawyers and a herd of buffalo?
A: Lawyers charges more.


More stupid questions asked by Lawyers
.
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?A: I'll be three months on March 12th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

So, you were gone until you returned?

You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary's Hospital?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M.
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!
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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 06-Dec-2005, 12:19 PM
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An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness.

The doctor sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be cured. You'd best put your affairs in order."

O'Malley was shocked.... but being a solid character, he managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room, where his son was waiting.

"Well, Son," O'Malley said, "We Irish celebrate when Things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go well. In this case, Things aren't so well.... I have cancer. Let's head to the pub and have a few pints."

After 3 or 4 pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and some more beers. They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's friends who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

O'Malley told them they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "I have been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple of more beers.

After the friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered his confusion.
"Dad, I thought you told me that you were dying of cancer....but you just told your friends that you were dying of AIDS!"

O'Malley said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your Mother after I am gone."
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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 07-Dec-2005, 05:41 PM
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A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 13-Dec-2005, 06:40 PM
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"A Christmas Carol for any Psychosis"

Schizophrenia -
Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality -
We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Dementia -
I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

Narcissistic -
Hark The Herald Angels Sing
(About Me)

Mania -
Deck the Halls and Walls
and House and Lawn and Streets
and Stores and Office and Town ...

Paranoia -
Santa Claus is Coming To Town
(To Get Me)

Personality Disorder -
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry,
I'm Gonna Pout,
then MAYBE I'll tell you why

Depression -
Silent anhedonia, Holy anhedonia.
All is calm, All is pretty lonely.

Obsessive Compulsive -
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell...

Borderline Personality -
Thoughts of Roasting
in an Open Fire

Passive Aggressive -
On the First Day of Christmas
My True Love Gave to Me
(and then took it all away)


NO MATTER HOW
YOU SING IT...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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Lil 
Posted: 13-Jan-2006, 10:13 PM
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hehheee...jus' hadda get some in, Mace...TY for the previous ones, they were great! I hope there are no repeats (but I think there's at least one, the fish joke) in these I'm posting now...bad jokes and one liners...I LOVE 'EM!!!!!!!!!


1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path.

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.

8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers ..

17. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.


20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack! Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack!


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Arien 
Posted: 19-Jan-2006, 11:27 PM
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Here are some of my favorites.
(I will apologize now to any paraplegics reading this.)


What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water?

Bob


What do you call a guy with no arms or legs water skiing?

Skip


What do you call a guy with no arms or legs on your porch?

Matt


What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a hole?

Phil


What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves?

Rustle


What do you call a guy with no arms or legs on your wall?

Art


What do you call his arms and legs on your wall?

Pieces of Art


What do you call two guys with no arms or legs above your window?

Kurt and Rod


What do you call a girl with one arm and one leg?

Ilene




--------------------
"'Mercy!" Cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?'

'The names of all the stars, and of all living things, and the whole history of Middle-earth and over-heaven and of the sundering seas,' laughed Pippin. 'Of course! What less? But I am not in a hurry tonight."

~The Two Towers, JRR Tolkein
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