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> Honesty!, Do you consider yourself a honest person
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Annabelle 
Posted: 21-Jul-2004, 11:30 PM
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We each have many different personalities but one very important quality that a few possess is the strong facet in being honest. Honest and truthful 100% of the time.

I am not singling out any particular group of folks of which I believe myself to be a christian but to use as an example only- even those who are professed chrisitians fall sometimes. So we all learn to love the sinner, hate the sin.

Some people call themselves honest but stab other's in the back to justify the ends to a means. Some people when given the wrong change amount at the store keep the mistake instead of correcting the cashier.

Some people tell little lies so they can avoid conflicts. We see people do it around us all of the time.

So my question is this- Do you consider yourself a truely honest person? If not 100% what percentage do you feel applies to you?




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BluegrassLady 
Posted: 22-Jul-2004, 12:20 AM
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Mmmmmm....what a thought provoking question, Annabelle. My first reaction was to say yes, I am an honest person. But after reading all of your post, I had to rethink my answer.

I guess what I would have to say is that I am guilty of not telling the exact truth 100 percent of the time, but more so than not. rolleyes.gif I wouldn't want to try to guess the exact percentage of right or wrong, cuz to tell the truth ( tongue.gif ) I can't be sure.

Now that I have just depressed myself, I'm going to bed! sad.gif


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Elspeth 
Posted: 22-Jul-2004, 10:18 AM
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Yep, honest. I'd say 98.5% of the time. Doesn't always make me popular, but does make me trustworthy and sincere.


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oldraven 
Posted: 22-Jul-2004, 10:29 AM
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Ask anyone I know. I'm brutally honest. Quite often when a fib would be better for everyone, I blurt out the truth about a situation. Brutal honesty and a mouth that never stops can be harmful to your health.


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Ladybug1258 
Posted: 22-Jul-2004, 10:57 AM
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Well, Annabelle, if truth be told, no one is 100% honest or we'd all end up like the character Jim Carey protrayed in Liar, Liar[I], so there' something to be said for honesty as well as dishonesty.

I find that in dealing with people on a semi-regular basis, there are times when you simply cannot be honest with them due to the pain that the truth might inflict. Then, conversely, there are times when honesty is indeed the best policy. It's a very subjective situation-given to the change in the company you're keeping as well as how you feel the truth would be received as the time.

So, as for myself, I weigh the situation carefully then can truthfully state that with most poeple I'm completely honest with them, but with certain others there's no way I can tell them everything. It's just too risky! I'm honest about 90% of the time. The rest of it, the 10% is spent in the presence of ceratin poeple that don't need to know everything, so I'm only guilty of deception by omission.(I'm a private person.) angel_not.gif
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Irish Stepper 
Posted: 22-Jul-2004, 11:07 AM
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With certain people, I am brutally honest. With others, I'm not. I weigh the circumstances and try to do what's best. If telling someone the truth would only hurt them and serve NO other purpose besides that, then I'll mask the truth. If that makes me a bad person, than so be it, but I prefer to think of it as being compassionate. However, I know a lot of people at church that will back-stab and gossip all in the name of honesty and cause nothing but hurt and pain for all involved. unsure.gif


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emerald-eyedwanderer 
  Posted: 22-Jul-2004, 01:32 PM
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QUOTE (Ladybug1258 @ 22-Jul-2004, 10:57 AM)
I find that in dealing with people on a semi-regular basis, there are times when you simply cannot be honest with them due to the pain that the truth might inflict.

So, as for myself, I weigh the situation carefully then can truthfully state that with most poeple I'm completely honest with them, but with certain others there's no way I can tell them everything.

I agree with Ladybug. I compare the outcomes and decide how much of the truth is needed, not only for my sake but for others as well. I try to do what's best. Sadly it is not 100% all the time. I try to be tactful and encourage people because everyone needs support.

As for myself, I've made plenty of mistakes that were caused by not being completely honest. All I can do is say I'm sorry and try to be a better person. I'd say, on a good day, 75% - 80% of the time I am completely honest. I wish it was better, and I'm trying.


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Appleseed 
  Posted: 22-Jul-2004, 06:32 PM
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Hi Annabelle,

Well, I'm band spanking new here so maybe I'm not qualified to just jump right in. But in the interest of jumping right in I'll offer this: I think a lot of us are the same, we are a mix and selective about what we say. But the commandment not to lie essentially points to one thing - truth is sacred to God.

(Nice to meet you.)
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tsargent62 
Posted: 22-Jul-2004, 07:36 PM
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I agree with Em and Ladybug, to a point. I will bend the truth a bit in order to spare someone's feelings, but I try to let it end there. My wife tells me I'm too honest for my own good. I can't say I agree with that, but there have been times that I would have better off keeping my mouth shut.

Quite an ethical dilemma, isn't it. On one hand, we are bound by the fact that complete honesty is very ethical, but on the other hand, we must show respect and compassion for others, so we don't want to harm them in any way.


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Elspeth 
Posted: 22-Jul-2004, 08:50 PM
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Hi Appleseed! Welcome. Don't hesitate. Jump right in! smile.gif

Some of this comes down to the semantics of what truth is. Is it only truth to speak everything on your mind at every time? And is it lying if you refrain from making a comment that will injur? I don't think so. I think honesty is not sacrificed when discretion is used. I don't lie to people. If someone asks me my opinion, I will give it. But I don't give it if not asked for or not needed. If I think someone 'can't handle the truth' I will present it as gently as I can, infusing the hard truths with positive comments. But truth must be served, for in the long run, the truth shall set you free. However that path isn't always the easiest of ones.

I can rememeber only one out and out lie I have told in the last 15 or so years. It still gnaws on me that I did that.
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Annabelle 
Posted: 22-Jul-2004, 10:10 PM
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We all have extremely valuable points and it is obvious we do consider others feelings.
When asked my opinion of something and I really don't want to say anything I ask the person " are ya sure you want my input?"
That gives them a chance to not hear it....but most of the time I am extremely bluntly honest. This is sometimes not a good thing!

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Aaediwen 
Posted: 23-Jul-2004, 05:31 PM
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I try to be as honest as I can be, maybe to a fault. Heaven knows I've opened my mouth sometimes when I shouldn't, but falsehoods won't get you as far by any stretch. I don't always tell the whole truth, and tend sometimes to phrase things a certain way if I don't like the truth. But I still try to be truthful in what I do say. An example might be "Yes I was in the fight. defending my beliefs" I wouldn't say anything about the fact I threw the first punch though. Although if asked I'd come up with a load of excuses and pile on it while admitting I threw the first punch.


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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 23-Jul-2004, 08:34 PM
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In objective matters (i.e. I screwed up at work, I got too much change, etc.), I try to be 100% honest. Subjective matters are another question. Every husband dreads the question, "Honey, does this make me look fat?". There are many times when the truth would be hurtful or counter productive. In those situations I try to be diplomatic or supportive or encouraging; whatever is called for in the particular situation. I don't mean I give false "hopes" or "expectations", but I try to be honest in a way that is positive. There are times when that's not possible and I either say nothing or bite the bullet. It seems to be easy to define dishonesty and deceit, but defining honest is sometimes not quite so cut and dried. In the end, I hope I've lived my life in a way that will leave a positive influence in this world when I'm gone.


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freekenny 
Posted: 23-Jul-2004, 10:31 PM
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O'siyo,
Hmmm..what a question...I agree with CarolinaScotsman..defining dishonesty and deceit is sometimes easier to define than honesty..seems dishonesty not only requires more effort but possesses more qualities than honesty~
I am trustworthy & sincere..these qualities, I believe, require one to be honest..I am also compassionate for individuals and sometimes this characteristic requires me to 'avoid a conflict' or 'spare hurt feelings' which to some may be considered showing dishonesty..I do not go out of my way to be dishonest but, I refuse to intentionally hurt someone over something 'petty'~~
I will never be dishonest in a relationship no matter how much it may hurt the other~~ meaning if I made a mistake or did 'something' I know my partner would not approve of or be disappointed over, I will be the first to admit my mistake and the first to apologize..same with a friendship..I have 'lost' friends to being too honest according to them, but, I needed to admit my mistakes and apologize..
Honest/honesty-fairness and straightforwardness of conduct b : adherence to the facts.. with this being said, Yes, I am an honest person in my eyes and well, for me that is all that matters...I have a peaceful spirit, soul and heart so I must be doing something 'right' clap.gif
~~Sty-U red_bandana.gif


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Annabelle 
Posted: 25-Jul-2004, 06:52 PM
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Isn't it an interesting discussion of where truth stops and lies begin isn't it?

A
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