The Great Tribal Assembly at Carman
The Feis
'There they discussed and debated
the rights and taxes of the province:
every legal enactment rightly piously,
every third year it was settled.'
from The Poem of Carman
(11th Century)
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| Posted by: Richard Bercot 30-Oct-2003, 02:35 AM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York The Great Tribal Assembly at Carman The Feis 'There they discussed and debated the rights and taxes of the province: every legal enactment rightly piously, every third year it was settled.' from The Poem of Carman (11th Century) |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 30-Oct-2003, 02:37 AM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York Every third year roads must be cleared of branches, weeds and water to prepare for the great assembly. |
| Posted by: Elspeth 30-Oct-2003, 08:48 AM |
| Sounds like some street departments I've know. Oh, wait.... that's cleared of orange cones every third year........ |
| Posted by: Aaediwen 30-Oct-2003, 10:37 AM |
| Around here, it's not a matter of cleared, just moved a couple miles further down the road. |
| Posted by: 3Ravens 30-Oct-2003, 07:11 PM |
| I am convinced that potholes breed when no one is looking! |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 31-Oct-2003, 01:13 AM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York The harpist is the only musician who is of noble standing. Flute players, trumpeters, and timpanists, as well as jugglers, conjurers and equestrians who stand on the backs of horses at fairs, have no status of their own in the community, only that noble chieftain to whom they are attached. |
| Posted by: Elspeth 31-Oct-2003, 06:37 AM |
| As a past trumpeter, I want this law ammended! |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 01-Nov-2003, 01:21 AM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York The creditor who holds your brooch, your necklet or your earrings as a pledge against your loan must return them so you may wear them at great assembly. Or he will be fined for your humiliation. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 02-Nov-2003, 02:10 AM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York Speech is given to three: to the historian-poet for the narration and relating of tales, to the poet-seer for praise and satire, and to the Brehon for giving judgement. |
| Posted by: valpal 59 02-Nov-2003, 11:00 PM | ||
I totally agree...  |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 03-Nov-2003, 12:30 AM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York The time alloted to each Brehon for pleading his case is long or short according to his dignity. In determining the length of the speech he is allowed, count eighteen breathings to the minute. |
| Posted by: Elspeth 03-Nov-2003, 02:48 PM | ||
Wonder who determined his dignity? |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 04-Nov-2003, 02:29 AM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York When a judge deviates from the truth a blotch will appear on his cheek |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 04-Nov-2003, 11:03 PM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York On the best land everything is good. The herbs are sweet and no manure or shells are needed. There will be no plants that will stick in a horse's mane or tail: no briars, no blackthorns, no burrdocks. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 06-Nov-2003, 12:18 AM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York For the best arable land the price is twenty-four cows. The price for dry, coarse land is twelve dry cows. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 06-Nov-2003, 11:55 PM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York How many things add to the price of land? A wood, a mine, the site of a mill, a highway, a road, a great sea, a river, a mountain, a river falling into the sea, a cooling pond for cattle. Add three cows to the price if it is near a chieftain's house or a monastery. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 08-Nov-2003, 02:43 AM |
| "THE BIG LITTLE BOOK OF IRISH WIT & WISDOM" Black Dog & Leventhal publishers, New York For stripping the bark of an oak tree, enough to tan the leather for a pair of women's shoes, the fine is one cow hide. The defendant must cover the bruised portion with a mixture of wet clay, new milk and cow dung. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 09-Nov-2003, 07:12 AM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If a man takes a woman off on a horse, into the woods or onto a sea going ship, and if members of the woman’s tribe are present, they must object within twenty-four hours or they may not demand payment of the fine. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 10-Nov-2003, 12:54 AM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The husband-to-be shall pay a bride-price of land, cattle, horses, gold or silver to the father of the bride. Husband and wife retain individual rights to all the land, flocks and household goods each brings to the marriage. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 10-Nov-2003, 10:46 PM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The husband who, though listlessness, does not go to his wife in her bed must pay a fine. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 11-Nov-2003, 10:22 PM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If a pregnant woman craves a morsel of food and her husband withholds it through stinginess or neglect, he must pay a fine. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 12-Nov-2003, 10:29 PM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York Children shall be sent at an early age to distant members of the tribe to be reared in the hereditary professions of law, medicine, poetic composition of war, or of tilling the soil and wifeliness. Foster children shall be returned to their parents at the marriage age: fourteen for girls and seventeen for boys. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 13-Nov-2003, 11:58 PM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If a woman makes an assignation with a man to come to her bed in a bed or behind a bush, the man is not considered guilty even if she screams. If she has not agreed to a meeting, however, he is guilty as soon as she screams. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 15-Nov-2003, 08:26 PM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If the chief wife scratches the concubine but it is out of rightful jealousy that she does it, she is exempt from liability for injury. The same does not hold true for injuries by the concubine. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 16-Nov-2003, 11:54 PM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York Six cows are the fine for breaking a tribesman’s two front teeth; twelve heifers, for maiming a homeless man. For pulling off the hairs of a virgin bishop the fine is one yearling heifer for every twenty hairs. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 18-Nov-2003, 12:11 AM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The doctor shall build his house over a running stream. His house must not be slovenly or smeared with the tracks of snails. It must have four doors that open out so the patients may be seen from every side at all times. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 19-Nov-2003, 01:04 AM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York No foods, drinks or female scolds are allowed in the doctor’s house when a patient is healing there. No bad news to be brought, and no talking across the bed. No grunting of pigs or barking of dogs outside. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 19-Nov-2003, 11:50 PM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If the doctor heals your wound, bit it breaks out anew because of his carelessness, neglector gross want of skill, he must return the fee you paid. He must also pay you damages as if the himself had wounded you. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 21-Nov-2003, 01:23 AM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York Whoever comes to your door, you must feed him or care for him, with no questions asked. |
| Posted by: oldraven 21-Nov-2003, 09:39 AM | ||
I like this one. It's the way it is at home. You don't have a visitor that you don't feed. It's the way it is. In contrast, it's strange visiting out here. No one asks you what you'd like? Sometimes not even coffee or tea is offered. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 21-Nov-2003, 10:17 AM |
| Old Raven, That is the way in my house. Whenever someone stop for assistance, I make sure they are taken care of. Most of the time they are either lost or broken down. And if someone comes in at or near meal time, they are offered food and drink, and if we don't have enough out we just make more. Whether they accept or not, that is up to them. That is the way I was raised and that is the way I will be. |
| Posted by: Annabelle 21-Nov-2003, 11:43 AM |
| I llike that one too...makes me feel welcomed and warm and fuzzy inside! Annabelle |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 22-Nov-2003, 01:08 AM |
| “The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom” Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York It is illegal to give someone food in which has been found a dead mouse or weasel. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 24-Nov-2003, 03:04 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The chief poet of the tribe shall sit next to the king at a banquet. Each shall be served the choicest cut of meat. |
| Posted by: oldraven 24-Nov-2003, 10:01 AM | ||
And what of a live mouse?  |
| Posted by: Elspeth 24-Nov-2003, 11:14 AM |
| What of a live weasel? Makes you wonder why that one was written in the first place. I mean a mouse is understandable, but a weasel? You'd think that would be pretty obvious. And what if a rat or squirrel had been found in it? That's ok? How about spiders? |
| Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 24-Nov-2003, 10:34 PM |
It all sounds so appetizing---dead and live rodents in their food.  |
| Posted by: maggiemahone1 24-Nov-2003, 11:00 PM | ||
I always offer food and drink when someone comes to my house. If it's a stranger, you better be sure and offer him or her something if your not afraid to let them in. There's a verse in the Bible that says, "we entertain angels unaware." maggiemahone1 |
| Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 24-Nov-2003, 11:20 PM |
| maggie, I agree with you---we need to be more hospitiable. Who knows who we might be entertaining?  |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 25-Nov-2003, 12:46 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The poet who overcharges for a poem shall be stripped of half his rank in society. |
| Posted by: oldraven 25-Nov-2003, 09:14 AM | ||
 oi. That's rough. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 26-Nov-2003, 12:04 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York Cows, pigs, horses, sheep, goats, dogs, cats, hens, geese ? noisy goods! Little bees that stick to all flowers. These are the ten beasts of all the world?s men. (The Chieftain who is keeper of the free public hostel must have one hundred of all of these.) |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 27-Nov-2003, 12:14 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The hostel-keeper must own a cauldron large enough to boil a pig and a cow at the same time. Before taking the meat out of the boiling cauldron the attendant must warn, `Stand back-here goes the fleshfork into the cauldron!? |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 27-Nov-2003, 11:48 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York A layman may drink six pints of ale with his dinner, but a monk may drink only three pints. This is so he will not be intoxicated when prayer-time arrives. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 29-Nov-2003, 03:48 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The feller of trees must warn all within shouting distance before he takes the first blow. All beasts, blind persons and people dozing must be removed from the area. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 30-Nov-2003, 04:25 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If an accident occurs while a building is under construction no fine is due for injury to the bystander who is present only out of curiosity. Should the owners of the building have knowledge of danger or defect, however, full payment shall be made to those present on legitimate business and to beasts. (But only half payment to idlers.) |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 01-Dec-2003, 01:57 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The blacksmith must rouse all sleeping customers before he puts the iron in the fire. This is to guard against injuries by sparks. (Those who fall asleep again will receive no compensation for injuries.) |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 01-Dec-2003, 11:26 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If the head of the blacksmith?s hammer flies off the handle and injures a customer, neither the smith nor the striker of the hammer is liable ? unless they knew the head was loose. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 02-Dec-2003, 11:36 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If a chip of wood from the carpenter?s axe hits a bystander the carpenter is exempt from liability. Unless he deliberately aimed the chip at the bystander. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 03-Dec-2003, 11:43 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The mill-owner is exempt from liability for injury to a person caught between the mill-stones. |
| Posted by: maisky 04-Dec-2003, 07:35 AM | ||
Another good reason for not becoming a monk!  |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 05-Dec-2003, 11:45 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If your land has neither fence nor stone wall you must restrain your beasts lest they damage your neighbour?s property. For goats a shoe of leather goes on each leg, for yearling calves put on a spancel. The pig which does the most damage of all, must wear a yoke. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 07-Dec-2003, 04:53 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The fine for the hen?s trespass into the neighbour?s herb garden is one oat cake plus a side dish of butter or bacon. To keep you hen at home you shall tie a with around her feet. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 08-Dec-2003, 12:30 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If your neighbour does not repay the debt he woes you, you may prevent him from going about his daily business. A withe-tie (for all to see) goes on the blacksmith?s anvil, the carpenter?s axe or the tree-feller?s hatchet. He is on his honour to do no work until he has righted the wrong. |
| Posted by: maisky 08-Dec-2003, 02:24 PM | ||
A more likely fine is: chicken for dinner. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 09-Dec-2003, 01:36 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If the poet or the physician is in debt, immobilize his horse whip, for both ride their circuits on the backs of horses. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 10-Dec-2003, 01:52 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York Five fold are crimes The crime of the hand, by wounding or stealing. The crime of the foot, by kicking or moving to do evil deeds. The crime of the tongue, by satire, slander or false witness. The crime of the mouth, by eating stolen things. The crime of the eye, by watching while an evil deed is taking place. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 10-Dec-2003, 11:14 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The fine for killing a bond person held as security for a loan (or for killing a slave) is twenty one cows; for killing a free farmer of Erin the fine is forty two cows. For killing a noble the fine for homicide is paid, plus an additional amount determined by his rank in society. Fines are doubled for malice aforethought. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 12-Dec-2003, 12:49 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York For stealing your pigs or your sheep, for stripping your herb garden, for wearing down your hatchet or wood axe, you may take your neighbour?s milk cows to the public animal pound for three days. If he does not want his cows taken to the pound for his crimes or his bad debts, he may five his son as security instead. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 13-Dec-2003, 01:47 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York Blush fines are payable for insults offered to all persons of every rank except the ne?er-do-well, the squanderer, the selfish man who thinks only of his cows and his fields (and not of other people), the buffoon who distorts himself before crowds at a fair and the professional satirist. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 13-Dec-2003, 10:52 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York Notice of the hound in heat and the mad dog must be sent to the four nearest neighborhoods. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 15-Dec-2003, 05:00 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If a dog commits a nuisance on a neighbour?s land the dog?s ordure must be removed as far as its juice is found. The ground must be pressed and stamped upon by the heel, and fine clay put here to cover it. Compensation shall be paid in butter, dough or curds amounting to three times the size of the ordure. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 15-Dec-2003, 10:28 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The lender of a horse must give notice of the horse?s kicking habits. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 16-Dec-2003, 10:07 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York Three days is the stay of your cattle in the pound for a quarrel in the ale house, injury of the chief, over working a valuable horse, maiming they chained dog, disturbing a fair or a great assembly, or striking or violating thy wife, Five days for satirizing a man after his death. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 18-Dec-2003, 08:27 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If a youth incites a pig by shouting at it for sport, and the pig charges at idlers in the farmyard, the pig is exempt from liability for injuries. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 21-Dec-2003, 07:52 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York February first is the day on which husband or wife may decide to walk away from the marriage. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 22-Dec-2003, 09:41 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York The fine for peering into you neighbour?s house without permission is one cow. For taking a handful of straw off his thatched rook, one calf is the penalty. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 23-Dec-2003, 09:22 AM |
| "The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If a rational adult brings a simpleton into an ale house just to amuse the patrons, and if the noise and excitement cause the simpleton to injure another patron, the adult who brought him there must make compensation. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 24-Dec-2003, 09:54 AM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York If you see a horse straying near a river in the dark, or a pit, and do nothing to save it, you must make restitution. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 29-Dec-2003, 02:10 PM |
| ?The Big Little Book of Irish Wit & Wisdom? Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, New York When you become old your family must provide you with one oatcake a day, plus a container of sour milk. They must bathe you every twentieth night and wash your head every Saturday. Seventeen sticks of firewood is the allotment for keeping you warm. |
| Posted by: maggiemahone1 10-Jan-2004, 08:53 AM | ||
Where's my bath, oatcake, stack of wood and my sour milk? maggiemahone1 |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 10-Jan-2004, 07:31 PM |
Maggie, are you have them bathe you every twentieth day? or wash your hair evey Saturday?  |
| Posted by: maggiemahone1 11-Jan-2004, 04:35 PM |
| I think I smell me on self! Makes me thankful for showers, baths and all the running water I use everyday. Ever heard of the 'good ol' days?' No thanks! maggiemahone1 |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 11-Jan-2004, 11:55 PM |
| Ahh Maggie, what is wrong with the Good Ol'e Days? The simple life for me, No baths between October and March, No Phones, No Cars, No Computers, Just you and the Land. Those are the days that I remember and love so much and Yes, I use to live that way.  |
| Posted by: maggiemahone1 12-Jan-2004, 06:51 PM |
| NO BATHS! I'm sorry, I have to smell all fresh and fragrant. Like a rose! maggiemahone1 |
| Posted by: maggiemahone1 15-Jan-2008, 10:07 PM | ||
I thought I would bring all these Irish laws back to life. I went back and read them all, some of them are hilarious!!! If your out there Richard, thank you! maggiemahone1 |
| Posted by: UlsterScotNutt 25-Apr-2008, 12:54 PM |
These were very fun to read  |