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Celtic Radio Community > The Jester's Court > Does Anyone Live In A Small Town?


Posted by: jpmoore 14-May-2004, 01:08 PM
Do you live in a small town like me (<2000)?
First of all, I grew up in a town smaller than where I live now. I remember it fondly. It wasn't perfect by any means, but it was a good place to grow up.
I lived in a large city for over 20 years and 7 years ago we moved out into the country (I commute 40 miles one way to work). We never expected Mayberry when we moved, but we are seeing a lot of crap that I don't remember seeing when I was young in my hometown.
First of all, everyone here falls into two categories: natives and move-ins. Natives grew up here or have family here a couple of generations. We move-ins have been coming en masse into the community for quite some time now. The natives tend to exhibit two negative traits.
1. Favoritism: certain people get certain perks, allowances, whatever, only because of who they or their family are. It is evident from Little League on up to everyday business dealings. People don't get what they earn. They get it because of their associations. Again, think of the Little League example-certain kids play because of who Dad is, not their ability. That is just an example.
2. Privilege: the simple attitude that what applies to everybody else, doesn't apply to me! I can do what I want, to whomever I want, simply because I am a "Smith" or a "Jones". I even see this in our church (which is a great place to be, don't get me wrong).
Please understand this: this is not everyone I know in my community. Some of the most wonderful people I have ever known in my life live in my community, and are natives to boot! Garrison Keillor once wrote about the Minnesota communities that formed the basis for his Lake Wobegon and described the residents as good, kind people. But people that really didn't want you involved in their lives. Also, this isn't just my own personal viewpoint. Many move-inshave expressed their frustration to me about this. Enough that there is definitely a trend.

OK, enough whining. If you too live in a small town like mine, have you experienced the same thing? I'm curious.

Posted by: oldraven 14-May-2004, 01:36 PM
I'm not living in a small town. But I'm constantly trying to get back. I live in a large city in Alberta, and the lifestyle is driving me over the edge. A place I never would have been driven to back home.

Acutally, I grew up in a Rural community, so small town is an overstatement. Or is that understatement. unsure.gif Well, it's a Farming community about 30-45min away from the nearest town, depending on who's driving. It's sometimes only 15min away, if you're in a real hurry. cool.gif

Anyway, there are a few families that seem to be the top dogs, or would like to think they are. But these days, it's more in their own heads than anything else. Being a homegrown to that area, I can't really say I've ever gotten any special privaledges, but that's mostly because my family didn't really fit in. Being Pentecostal in a land of dirty mouthed drunks will leave you on the outside. Mind you, this is the way my parents saw it. Setting yourself apart is what alienates you. Whatever, that's another gripe for another day.

Any such agravation that comes from living in the small towns, or communities, is well worth the fact that the people are for the most part friendlier, and will help you out in your time of need. I hate the city because the city is full of hateful people. But they can't help it. They were raised in the rat race, where everyone is in a hurry, and everyone feels downtrodden by everyone else. No wonder they pretend you don't exist when you walk by them, smile and nod. I mean, we're only smiling at them because we want something from them, right? rolleyes.gif

No, I'm not mocking you, I totaly understand. But if this is the worst thing about living in a simpler, quieter world, you're one lucky bugger, my friend. The easiest way to break down those age old boundaries is to be the bigger person and go out of your way to help your neighbour. Even those that don't help you.


That was a really long post. And I seemed to be bouncing around making little sense at all. ............................. wicked laugh.gif
Anyway, do unto others, buddy. smile.gif

Posted by: mercyforme 14-May-2004, 01:56 PM
They cant help being hateful...why sure they can, I can be having the worst day but I cant take it out on others and I was in a large city-Atlanta- dont excuse meanness...
Would you be able to go somewhere else one day and get away from the noise, and crowd and fast pace???? I hope you could smile.gif

Posted by: gtrplr 14-May-2004, 02:08 PM
QUOTE
No, I'm not mocking you, I totaly understand. But if this is the worst thing about living in a simpler, quieter world, you're one lucky bugger, my friend. The easiest way to break down those age old boundaries is to be the bigger person and go out of your way to help your neighbour. Even those that don't help you.


Good advice regardless of locale. I live in Nashville, TN but I grew up in rural Arkansas. The nearest town was 5 miles away, pop. 198. I grew up country folks.

I remember a guy riding through on a bicycle one day. He was touring the country and about dark, he knocked on our door and asked permission to sleep in the field beside our house. The next morning, my mom fixed an extra plate for breakfast which I took out to him. He thanked me politely and in the course of conversation mentioned that people offering breakfast was not uncommon. I wasn't surprised. I thought that's what we were supposed to do.

Times sure have changed.

Posted by: oldraven 14-May-2004, 02:21 PM
grtplr, that's something about the west that confuses me. Where I come from, if anyone comes to your door, you invite them in, and give them food and drink. Always. Even if it's a salesman. Coffee, tea, cookies at the least. But here, I've spent entire days visiting people, and if they didn't invite you for dinner, you don't get any. I know that company never goes hungry in our house.

In some places, time stands still. There's no reason for change like that.

Posted by: mercyforme 14-May-2004, 02:29 PM
Here you go Old raven
You knock on my door, your seeling..humm....ahh your selling Dasani water, which I love:) Mike and I invite you in. Course you will have to sit in a computer chair. I just made sweet tea and lucky for you Shrimp, with chinese rice and veggies in that great sauce mix like in the resturants. Also have choclate cake and since you have many more doors to go to I wrap up a big peice for you. We laughed, and cried, just kiddin we laughed a lot cause your proubly very funny and Mike and I are cut up's!!!
Please come again your always welcome to our door biggrin.gif

Posted by: oldraven 14-May-2004, 02:36 PM
And everybody agreed, the times were good. biggrin.gif

thanks. king.gif

Posted by: Raven 14-May-2004, 02:49 PM
I have lived in a small town pop 50 and part of a larger community of several thousand and now I live in a city of 1.3 Million.

I was a move in with the small community also. I think the major difference between the 2 aside from everyone knowing everyone else is that the politics is more apparent.

I find this in the musical community that a lot of what is awarded is based on who you are or who you know not how good you are. If you are on the inside life is grand and if you are on the outside the politics is very apparent.

What I am saying is that if you are in a large community it is still there noticing it is just dependant on how small of a sub section you are associated with.

I know it is difficult to deal with JP and the only way it would be easier is if you were not aware.

Peace

Mikel

Posted by: Herrerano 14-May-2004, 02:59 PM
Hey, I was gonna post something here, but then I realized that what I have to say on this topic is completely irrelevant. tongue.gif The small town I live in, about 1,500 or less, in a country of less then 3 million total population, is of a completely different culture then the one in which I was raised, and being the one and only gringo in the town I live in sort of skews things a little. Therefore if you have read this far in this post, sorry. Just forget it.

Never mind.

Leo tongue.gif

Posted by: oldraven 14-May-2004, 03:11 PM
Well, it's a good thing you didn't post then. wink.gif

Posted by: MDF3530 14-May-2004, 03:14 PM
I live in a big city (Chicago), but our neighborhood planning organization uses the phrase "small town in the city" to describe the neighborhood. It is very much like a small town. Churches have dinners every so often. Everybody seems willing to help everyone else out, especially with fundraisers for sick kids or the families of police officers, firefighters or soldiers who've died or been permanently injured in the line of duty.

BTW, the problem with favoritism being shown is all over, not just in small towns. And sucking up doesn't work all the time. There was this woman who was the director for my grade school's drama club. I was a year ahead of her daughter. When I was a crossing guard in sixth grade, her daughter was my substitute. Didn't get me any better roles in the plays. The best role I had was in 8th grade, when I was a Mouseketeer in "A Salute to Walt Disney", and that was only because I was an 8th grader.

Posted by: gtrplr 14-May-2004, 03:25 PM
Oldraven, I think we did invite the gentleman in, but he refused, saying he'd rather sleep out in the open. My parents weren't the type to let anyone go hungry or thirsty or without shelter, if it was at all possible to help them.

Neither am I.

BTW, Arkansas isn't considered west. I'm a Southern Gentleman. Just ask my wife. wink.gif

Posted by: oldraven 14-May-2004, 03:55 PM
Oh, I'm reffering to the difference between Eastern and Western Canada. Or maybe I should say, The Maritimes and everybody else. tongue.gif I have no clue if there is any distinction between Eastern and Western hospitality in the States. From what I've heard, the nicest people in the states are in the central region. Except maybe Detroit. unsure.gif But that falls under the Big City thing again.

Posted by: Richard Bercot 14-May-2004, 08:01 PM
I live in the Big City, The Population in my town is right at 100 plus or minus 2 depending on the day. wink.gif For me it is getting kind of crowded. tongue.gif

I have live here for 30 years and my Wife has lived here about all of her life with the exception of 2 months which was right after we were married.

I would not go back to any Big City if at all possible. Even though I do like people, I do not like being crowded. So for the time being, I will stay where I am at. biggrin.gif

Posted by: urian 14-May-2004, 08:07 PM
I live in a smaller town in the middle of deep , conservative, east texas. Oy.


I go into the rascism and closemindedness the permiates this place...

Posted by: jpmoore 14-May-2004, 09:04 PM
First of all, thank you to those of you that have replied to my posting. I do appreciate your feedback.
oldraven-I'd say 80% of the time, the favoritism and privilege is not an issue. And don't get me wrong, I would not return to the city for any amount of money. Like I said, most of the time the people here would be the ones opening their doors to strangers. Again I say that there are some individuals and families here that are absolute jewels I'd do anything for them.
But I had a thought today after placing this post. I had never heard the term move-in until a friend called me that. I thought, " you actually have a name for those of us that have recently moved here?" It never occured to me that it mattered whether I was born here or have am a newcomer to the area.

That my friends is the crux of the matter for me. I thought I was just a new face in the neighborhood, not someone with a label.

Anyhow, keep talking... thumbs_up.gif

Posted by: birddog20002001 15-May-2004, 07:07 AM
I was born in Galveston Tx and moved here to Haywood Co. North Carolina when I was 16, I moved in with my Grandparents, they had moved back after they retired. I was actually lucky because my family had been here for about 200 years so I was local by proxy and accepted. The ones folks have trouble with here are from New York that moved to Florida then came here. The locals call them Half-backs because they are half back to NY. Some of the locals also tend to dislike people from Michigan they say that they are rude, but I really don't notice it. I think the problem most people have is that people come in with larger ammounts of wealth and buy up property, that really gets some folks but I say blame the fools that sell the property. The thing that really gets locals here is "that isn't the way we did it in (fill in another state here). I know several families that go up north in the winter to work rebuilding factories and other manual labor jobs the thing they say they don't like is the pace at which people move, talk and act, and the cursing (I got a blue streak in me so I really don't mind I just try and watch who I cuss around).

Posted by: Raven 15-May-2004, 08:46 AM
QUOTE (Herrerano @ May 14 2004, 03:59 PM)
Hey, I was gonna post something here, but then I realized that what I have to say on this topic is completely irrelevant. tongue.gif The small town I live in, about 1,500 or less, in a country of less then 3 million total population, is of a completely different culture then the one in which I was raised, and being the one and only gringo in the town I live in sort of skews things a little. Therefore if you have read this far in this post, sorry. Just forget it.

Never mind.

Leo tongue.gif

I am so glad that you did not post this Leo, but it does bring to mind a question?

Do the locals consider you a Move In? unsure.gif

Posted by: Annabelle 15-May-2004, 03:35 PM
I live in a small town of Perry, Ga. We have a town sherrif, town bubba, circle road around the old court house, ice cream parlor and the movie theather is nailed shut due to no one using anymore. Perry is the home of the State National Fair and we hate it when outsiderrs come in and make lines at the car wash, Wendy's or The banks around town. Lots of peach growers around here. Agriculture is very big here and new construction of houses.I like a small town. This one is big compared to the town I'll be moving to up in North Carolina.

Posted by: A Shrule Egan 15-May-2004, 03:51 PM
QUOTE (Annabelle @ May 15 2004, 05:35 PM)
I live in a small town of Perry, Ga. We have a town sherrif, town bubba, circle road around the old court house, ice cream parlor and the movie theather is nailed shut due to no one using anymore. Perry is the home of the State National Fair and we hate it when outsiderrs come in and make lines at the car wash, Wendy's or The banks around town. Lots of peach growers around here. Agriculture is very big here and new construction of houses.I like a small town. This one is big compared to the town I'll be moving to up in North Carolina.

And are you usually the topic of conversation every morning at the local coffee shop??????? biggrin.gif

Posted by: Annabelle 15-May-2004, 04:00 PM
No they have to order the full course breakfast to have time to talk about me and you know it. And I don't even drink coffee!

Posted by: CelticRose 16-May-2004, 07:19 PM
I live in a small town in Arizona. An hour between Phoenix and Tucson and could not be happier! I grew up in the rat race of Los Angeles but people are very accepting there and anything goes! biggrin.gif I lived in Atlanta and in the suburbs there for 14 years and they do not like outsiders at all! It took us years to be accepted with the exception of a handful of people. We finally decided to move to a much smaller town of Asheville, NC, where it is beautiful but the people disliked outsiders even more so! We finally moved back to Arizona (my husband is from Tucson and where we met). We bought a small business in a small, but booming Arizona town. It is boring here as far as having guests from out of town, but we love it here. The people are very friendly and accepting of outsiders. I live amongst anglo, Mexican, and Native American people and there is no racism here that I know of. I love the combination of cultures. The only thing about living in a small town is that everybody knows everybody and knows everybody's business. And you have to be careful what you say about a person because mostly like it will get back to them -------- especially when you own a business! laugh.gif

Posted by: Annabelle 16-May-2004, 09:38 PM
I find people to be the same world over. There are good and there are the not so good. Small town's just have less to talk about and less places to go but I have always found people are more accepting once you make a few friends and get out in the area. The one thing I enjoy is that when you go into a store of any kind people say hello and know you by name, which I find comforting.
A Walton kind of moment ya know?

Posted by: Richard Bercot 16-May-2004, 11:03 PM
That is what I like around here. If I have vehicle trouble, they stop and ask if I need their help and it goes the other way too.

How many other places can you trust people well enough that you would feel safe doing that? wink.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 16-May-2004, 11:15 PM
QUOTE (Annabelle @ May 16 2004, 10:38 PM)
I find people to be the same world over. There are good and there are the not so good. Small town's just have less to talk about and less places to go but I have always found people are more accepting once you make a few friends and get out in the area. The one thing I enjoy is that when you go into a store of any kind people say hello and know you by name, which I find comforting.
A Walton kind of moment ya know?

That's what I like about living in a small town.

Posted by: Liriel Baenre Do'Urden 10-Jun-2004, 08:27 AM
jpmoore,

I know what you mean about living in a small town. I have lived in my small town for most of my life. (2 years in a big city only to move back to the small town)

If you don't have a certain last name or more than 6 figures in the bank you are a nobody.

But I have a theory for this. I've decided that I don't care who you are if you're nice to me I'll be nice to you. If you're not look out, I've been know to pull some nasty pranks.


Posted by: BluegrassLady 10-Jun-2004, 09:05 AM
We moved to a rural area in Kentucky from Michigan 12 years ago and have never regretted it. We are 7 miles to the closest town and it consists of a bank, a post office and a combination convenience store/gas station/family restaurant It was quite a culteral shock to begin with, tho. For example, we had just pulled into our driveway when a couple of neighbors came by offering to help us unload our moving truck. That kind of openess made my husband real nervous at first. But we got used to it pretty quickly. And when I was out driving, I had to learn to wave, nod my head and change gears in our vehicle all at the same time. But if you actually know the person you blow your car horn too! Hey, these are coordinated types around here. If you have car trouble, within a few minutes someone will stop and help you out. You may or may not know them.

We love it!!!
biggrin.gif

Posted by: Raven 10-Jun-2004, 09:12 AM
Hey Blugrass Lady

Be careful of the nod vacume....that can be very awkward if you find yourself caught up in it unsure.gif

Posted by: BluegrassLady 10-Jun-2004, 09:15 AM
You are right there, Raven. It takes a lot of practice to get it right! wink.gif

Posted by: Herrerano 10-Jun-2004, 10:10 AM
Raven posted this a long time ago
QUOTE
I am so glad that you did not post this Leo, but it does bring to mind a question?

Do the locals consider you a Move In?



Well, for the most part I have been fairly well accepted. Of course, for some I will always be "The Gringo", but for most I think I am part of the community.

On the other hand, quite a few folks still remember the first time I arrived in town, and for them I may just be an inigma. Think I will have to write a book about it. biggrin.gif Probably be sorta like "The Deerslayer", only without the russian roulette thingy. laugh.gif

Leo cool.gif

Posted by: Raven 10-Jun-2004, 10:16 AM
Hee hee - the deer hunter with out russian roulette - how ridiculous

To me you shall always be "Senior El Capitain" and I salute you (picture a smiley that salutes right here)

Posted by: tsargent62 10-Jun-2004, 10:17 AM
I grew up in a small town. Population about 7000. My parents moved there in 1953 and my mom is still there. She loves it. Problem is, if you're not into sports or some kind of civic activities, there is nothing to do. I'm a born city boy. Now that I'm grown-up (physically not mentally wink.gif) I could adjust to living in a small town again, but my wife would go nuts. She was raised in the Detroit area so she's a real city girl. The smallest city she's ever lived in was Fairbanks, AK. Not big by Detroit standards, but not exactly small either.

Had my druthers, we'd still be in Colorado Springs. It's a big city(about 250K), but feels like a small town. People are friendly. Neighbourhoods have white folks living next to black folks, Mexicans and any other ethnic group you can think of. I loved that. You rarely see that in ultra-segregated Detroit. I really loved it there. It was a huge mistake to leave.

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