Mercyfor me please know I will always pray you find peace in your life. To love Mike and in some way you feel for your husband too is difficult enough without adding children in the situation. Please know one thing. If you were not here on earth with us you would be greatly missed dear girl. Please don't choose to leave.
I will pray for you and your daughter daily. As for your mother, don't expect anything from her so that when she does something giving and kind you can be happily surprised. I have found for myself (not giving advice here) that if I don't expect people to act a certain way or do certain things that I feel are normal I am not as disappointed in them.
Spend time with God when ever possible and he will direct you and guide you to where he wants you. Remember your time is not his time so be patient and know God loves you for the person you are.
My heart will always be in the Highlands!