ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG, WILL GO WRONG
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
Murphy's Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.
It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't need it.
You will always find something in the last place you look.
No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The other line always moves faster.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.