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Celtic Radio Community > Quizes & Polls > You Know You're From...when...

Posted by: Ceciliastar1 07-Dec-2004, 02:21 PM

Posted by: MDF3530 07-Dec-2004, 03:29 PM

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You Know You're From Chicago When...</font></td></tr>
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<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 10pt;'>
You say "Wanna go with?" when you mean "Do you want to come with me?"

You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and curse one of them daily.

You know what "the Hillside strangler is."

You can name three or four extra taxes nobody else pays.

You know the difference between Richard J Daley and Richard M Daley.

You can use two or three Daleyisms in context.

You can imitate the Mayor's whine.

You say Chicawgo and not Chicaago.

You think going to a Bears game in single digit temperatures with a wind off the lake (and freezing rain) is fun.

Da is a proper definite article.

You expect corruption in local politics.

You go to the Dells in the summer to get away from the other 20 thousand that followed you.

You've been caught speeding in Wisconsin because you had Illinois plates.

You guard your shoveled parking space with an old chair and unusable broom.

You know why they call it "the Windy City."

You know dead people who voted.

You understand the Democratic machine and don't fight against it.

You've never ever considered the idea of hiring non-union laborers.

You've never been to Springfield.

You know a good gyros joint.

You know what Giordanos, Lou Malnati's, and Gino's have in common.

You know when the last time the Cubs won a pennant.

You know exactly how many cars are "legally" allowed to turn left after the light turns red.

You don't know which ethnic "fest" to choose on any given Summer weekend.

Your idea of relaxing and getting away from it all is Ravinia (with 10,000 others who have the same idea).

You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes.

You consider paying someone to watch your car at a sporting event as just another "city tax."

The "Living Room" is called the "front room"

You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do

You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away

You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern Illinois"

You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake"

You refer to Chicago as "The City"

"The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1986

You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers!

You buy "The Trib"

You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car!

You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog

You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is

You understand what "lake-effect" means

You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at. You have ridden the "L"

You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847,630,773,708, 312, & 815

You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a side" example:"WEST SIDE", "SOUTH SIDE" or "NORTHSIDE."

You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet!

You wear gym shoes, not sneakers.

Your favorite melody to hum is "Bang,Bang,Bang-Skeet,Skeet,Skeet!!!!"

You faithfully attended Lil Louis parties at The Bismarck.

You GOT to have spaghetti at your barbecue.

You are STILL a Bulls fan........

You think kicking it outside of White Castles parking lot, (79th and Stony Island) is the "Freak Nik"

You go to Harold`s and order 4 pc wing, mild sauce, salt and pepper.

You have a picture of Harold Washington in your kitchen, living room, family room or basement.

You have ever waited in line at Home of the Hoagy on 111th for 30-45 minutes for a steak samich wit cheese

You have ever been to the Tiki Room lounge in Hyde Park

You have Y made a special trip downtown because you had a craving for Garrett's caramel and cheese popcorn.

What!!! We don`t get a Fifty? Oh yeah....

You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Milwaukee's Best" -- no names, just beer signs out front.

It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you're a responsible citizen and bring it back to the sidewalk you will be shot on sight

You live two miles from work and it takes you two hours to drive there

You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway

When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know."

You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate.

You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes."

You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts"

You've taken the Red Line past the point where all white people get off and all black people get on -- or vice versa.

You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian, or in-line skater on the lakefront path.

You know the significance of State and Madison.

You wonder if the fries will taste the same at Sammy Sosa's Restaurant.

You don't miss Planet Hollywood.

You're not ashamed of wearing a big fur Russian hat, or a headsock with one hole in it, in public from November through March.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Chicago.
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Posted by: susieq76 07-Dec-2004, 03:35 PM

Posted by: susieq76 07-Dec-2004, 03:37 PM

Here is another great email I got about NC once....

Things I've learned about North Carolina.....

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in North Carolina.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in North Carolina, plus a couple no one's seen before.

Squirrels will eat anything.

Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.

Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls; it bites.

A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Fixinto is one word.

There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then there's supper.

Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2.

Backards and forwards means I know everything about you.

'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

More about North Carolinians....

You know you're from North Carolina if:

1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

3. You know what a 'tar heel' is.

4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.

6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car... for your OWN car.

9. You know what "cow tipping" is

10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, texas pete and catsup.

11. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

12. Your think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm"

14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

15. You know whether another North Carolinian is from east, west, or middle North Carolina as soon as they open their mouth.

16. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin wal-martin or off to"Wally World"

17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.

18. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor,

Example: "What kinna coke you want?"

19. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.

20. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from NC

(and those who just wish they were)

Posted by: MDF3530 07-Dec-2004, 04:07 PM

QUOTE

14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

That sounds like the four seasons here in Chicago: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Road Construction

Posted by: susieq76 07-Dec-2004, 04:19 PM

LOL!! We always say that NC should have the orange construction cone as our state tree....

Posted by: MacEoghainn 07-Dec-2004, 05:22 PM

Posted by: MDF3530 07-Dec-2004, 09:48 PM

QUOTE (susieq76 @ 07-Dec-2004, 04:19 PM)

LOL!! We always say that NC should have the orange construction cone as our state tree....

I think our state emblem is an orange diamond emblazoned with the motto "Road Counstruction Ahead".

Posted by: dfilpus 08-Dec-2004, 07:53 AM

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You Know You're From Northern Michigan When...</font></td></tr>
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The fishing opener is a BIG deal!

Competing against Moorhead and Bemidji in sports is scary.

You know exactly where people ar talking about when they say I-Falls or DL.

You could name all the ___ Falls. (International Falls, Little Falls, etc.)

Track season starts with indoor meets and the first three outdoor meets are cancelled because it's just too cold.

All the rest of the schools in the state are cancelled because of the snow or cold, but the buses are still running on time at home.

You know what radio station KB101 is all about and depend on them for weather related announcements.

Most people drive a 4-wheel drive truck.

An ice-scraper is necessary equipment for traveling anywhere September- April.

You've seen -50 temperatures more than once.

You spend your summer building deer stands.

Everyone in your school thinks that deer season should be considered a national holiday.

People sit in deerstands for hours on end in -20 weather just for the thrill of shooting a deer.

You get excited when you hear "Da Tirdy Point Buck" "Second Week of Deer Camp" and "Da Fourdy Pound Croppie" on the radio.

Everybody gets together in the spring and goes mudding.

Your hometown has more gas stations than stores in the mall(if there even is a mall).

A boy wearing tight jeans, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat can be considered hot.

You have more than one wild-life animal mounted in your home.

Pets are indefinately kept outside.

You hail Perkins as the all-mighty hangout place.

You can walk into Perkins and know every high schooler in there.

The people in the town consider hockey players bigger heros that football players.

Baseball players need a hat and mittens when the season starts.

Going to "The Cities" is a big deal.

Shopping MUST be done out-of-town.

Your house runs on the heat of a wood stove.

You have gotten your tounge stuck on something metal.

You can name half of the "10,000 Lakes".

You depend on Target for your every need.

You feed the wild-life that lives in your yard.

You either have a cabin or stay at someone else's.

You own a snowmobile, 4-wheeler, and a jet-ski to cover all conditions.

The only "gym" there is to work out at is the one at the local high school.

They grow the girls big in your hometown.

Industrial Tech classes have more students than the art and music classes combined.

Your car is always dirty from driving on all the dirt roads.

It takes 2 hours to get to anywhere worth going.

The only thing to do on a Friday or Saturday night is to have a bonfire or rent movies with friends.

You've been out-hunted by a girl hunter.

You don't call a foot of snow falling overnight a state of emergency; you call it Wednesday.

You have combination bait, tackle and gift shops.

You drink beer brewed in Canada.

The majority of the parties you've attended in your life had one corner of the room set aside for people playing euchre.

People walk into banks wearing ski masks, and no one gets excited.

You can tell a person is a 'fudge' regardless of whether they have fudge in their possion.

Sitting for hours on a frozen lake in front of a hole in the ice is an activity you look forward to for months.

On your weekend trips on I-75, both Friday on the way out and Sunday on the way back, you're in the fast moving lane, looking across the median at the bumper-to-bumper crawl.

You're fiercely loyal about your particular make of snowmobile.

Your wife has shot a buck.

You regularly drive on roads that have never been paved, and probably never will be.

You know every person you graduated from high school with.

You go to restaurants named after the person who is actually
cooking the food.

You've helped push the vehicle of someone you've never met before out of a snowbank.

Your town has a curfew whistle.

When you think of a 'pasty,' you think of something to eat, not something a stripper would wear.

You have seven right-handed gloves

You tap-tap your feet to knock of the snow before you get into your car

You're from the U.P.

You see the annual snowbird migration to the south

You put cherries in everything you eat

You wear four different-size jeans throughout the year

You can get to another town through the woods

You put plastic on your windows

You have a DUI or two

Anyone from below M-72 is from "the south"

You take your hooded parka everywhere - just in case

You have long underwear in three or more colors

You work your own hours, eat venison and fish regularly

You drive to Grand Rapids to catch a plane because it's half the price

Tourists make you late all summer but snow doesn't slow you down at all

Every restaurant menu: steak & whitefish, steak & whitefish, steak & whitefish...

You can greet every store or gas station counterperson by their first name

You keep a broom in your car to clear your windows.

It's completely understandable to have an umbrella, snow shovel and swimsuit in your vehicle all on the same day.

You don't get a glass for your beer.

Da Yoopers are your wedding band.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Northern Michigan.
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There is a lot of truth in these jokes. I know, I grew up there.

Posted by: dfilpus 08-Dec-2004, 07:56 AM

QUOTE (MDF3530 @ 07-Dec-2004, 10:48 PM)

I think our state emblem is an orange diamond emblazoned with the motto "Road Counstruction Ahead".

A couple of summers ago, I found a T-shirt in Michigan that had an array of pictures like that. The State Tree was the orange construction barrel. The State Animal was a construction worker. The State Rock was concrete. And so on.

Posted by: Shamalama 08-Dec-2004, 09:15 AM

You Know You're From Atlanta and/or Georgia When...

You give directions starting with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House."

You know the difference between a hillbilly, a redneck, and a Southerner.

You only drink Coke or Diet Coke - drinking Pepsi is blasphemy.

You know to wear sneakers to the airport.

The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday.

You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.

The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules.

If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

People actually grow, eat, and like okra - boiled or fried.

Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.

You never go less than 70 mph on "The Watermelon 500" (I-285).

Sweet tea is THE drink. No questions.

When a waitress asks what you want to drink and you say Coke, she asks "What kind?"

"Ya'll" is a word.

You know you're not allergic to pollen, because if you were - you'd be dead already.

You know people who consider a six pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment.

The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."

You know at least five different ways to get to work, none of them any good.

You greet people with"Howdy, Whachu doin?"

You know what a 'dawg' is.

You've been in traffic on I-85, I-75, I-20 or GA 400 (choose one) - wondering if your fuel, your cell-phone battery, and your bladder will make it to the next exit, just 1/2 mile (or one hour) ahead.

Posted by: birddog20002001 08-Dec-2004, 01:58 PM

You Know You're From Houston When...

The "farm-to-market" roads have seven lanes.

If you want to be a snob about your grocery shopping, you can go to a Randall's Flagship, a Kroger Signature, a Rice Epicurean, or soon, an HEB Central Market to buy bread and milk (but you have to dress up!)

You have a Roach Story: You opened your flatware drawer to find a roach the size of the Taco Bell chihuahua. He stood up and looked you in the eye. You closed the drawer, bought new flatware -- and stored it in the oven.

"Bum Phillips" doesn't mean a bad screwdriver.

You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World.

Your neighbor's Christmas yard decorations look like a re-creation of the gunfight at the OK Corral, complete with a ten-foot tree decorated with boots and cowboy hats, and a Santa Claus who looks a lot like Wyatt Earp.

You know that "Dad gummit" has nothing to do with your father's failure to practice good dental hygiene.

A 747 with the Space Shuttle riding piggyback has actually flown low, right overhead, and nobody paid any attention to it.

You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. Treasury has.

"Luv Ya Blue" still makes you smile, even if you did run the Oilers out of town.

You think y'all is a perfectly good word when you're referring to more than one person.

You see nothing unusual about an eighty-something former sheriff's deputy who wears a white pompadour toupee and blue sun-glasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams "MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, iiiiiiii-witness news" into a television.

You see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, and you don't think he's won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes; you know that he just stepped in a fire ant bed.

You're on your way to work one FEBRUARY morning and suddenly you're trapped in a traffic jam caused by a chuck wagon and fifty horses with riders and you look around to see that everybody in the cars around you is wearing a cowboy hat.

You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.

You come to work in short sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a "blue-tailed norther" has blown through and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees in a matter of minutes.

You go to an art festival on Westheimer and you're almost run down by two hand- holding cross dressers on roller blades.

For a Chili Cookoff, you'll use anything from armadillo to frog's legs, but you know that the only GOOD chili is made with chopped (not ground)- beef, and it has NO beans and NO tomatoes.
You know that Society matrons of "a certain age" still sport big hair and faces that have gone east, west, and north rather than south.

You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits (during rush hour, you haven't left your NEIGHBORHOOD).

You've never seen I-45 in any condition other than under construction, and you've lived here for 20-30 years.

You think that the humidity being below 90 percent makes it a GOOD hair day.

The only REAL Mexican food is Tex-Mex.

You've seen a 747 with a Space Shuttle riding piggyback flying low right overhead, and nobody paid any attention to it.

You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. treasury.

You're happy to have beaten Los Angeles out of a football team, but you'd rather they keep the title of "Smog Capital."

You know that the Astrodome will always be the 8th wonder of the world.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Houston.

You Know You're From Texas When...

You see more Texan flags than American flags.

You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.

You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.

You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.

You dress up to go shopping at the mall.

You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.

You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken.

You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.

You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud

Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department

You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents

You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine

You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen.

You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team"

You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth.

You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans.

There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Texas.

Posted by: gettin-away 08-Dec-2004, 09:23 PM

Since we already heard from Northern Michigan here is a little about my neck of the "Michigan" woods....

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You Know You're From Flint When...</font></td></tr>
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A gourmet meal is "two up to go"

You demanded a "feathered hairdo" after 1985

You think that Genesee Towers is a TAAAAAL building

You have to go to Jolly O and Skip's before you end up at Bubba's

You think that traffic on Linden Road is too heavy

You know what a coney is

Going away to college is a choice between Mott and U of M Flint

Saginaw is "Up North"

The Blue Hawaiian's are your favorite band

Your idea of culture is The Whiting Auditorium

You've been to a Generals game

You know a short cut between Robert T and Court

You remember Chicago 21, Rush St. Wild Bill's or The Light

You were an underage drinker at the Mikatam

You shopped at The Small Mall

vast majority of your family income came from "THE SHOP"

You know what a "40" is

You bought a record at Rock-A-Rola or Wyatt Earps

You participated in a cruise at The South Flint Plaza

You know what an Eastsider is

You have ever ordered fries with gravy at 3 am

You know what a Boston Cooler is

You have had a few too many at The Torch

Your definition of rich is a Power's kid

You refer to all paper bags as a "Hamady sack"

You have heard Rosie sing "Won't you come home Bill Bailey"

You have ever been sledding at Mott Park or Swartz Creek

You know someone who had to go to the School of Choice

You were bussed to The Skill Center

You have bought beer at Awad's

You know Mt Holly has "good powder"

You spent the day after Prom at Cedar Point

Your Friday night party was at Circle Drive

You put vinegar on your Luigi's Pizza

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Flint.
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Posted by: MDF3530 09-Dec-2004, 12:57 AM

QUOTE (gettin-away @ 08-Dec-2004, 09:23 PM)

Who wrote this? Michael Moore

Posted by: bigjimhainey 09-Dec-2004, 01:47 AM

Posted by: emerald-eyedwanderer 09-Dec-2004, 03:24 PM

I laughed out loud when I read the Michigan one, it's painfully true. I live 45 minutes away from Detroit and about 45 minutes away from Flint, so it's a little bit of both. I do spend a lot of time down there in Detroit, though.
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You Know You're From Detroit When...</font></td></tr>
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You call McNichols 6 Mile

You pronounce Lahser as "Lasher"

You add an "s" on Livernois

You own a pair of gators in a variety of colors

Your gators match your suit (pink, purple, green, etc.)

You`ve had to wait forever for the DOT bus

Your car payment is higher than your rent

You outfit cost more than your car payment

You get your nails and hair done every week just to go to the mall

You can do any of the 3,000 hustles

You take ballroom hustle lessons

You airbrush your toenails

You put nail tips and acrylic on your toenails

You`re familiar with the term "Dress to Impress"

You can find a cabaret on any given Saturday of the year

You listen to Mason in the morning on 102.7 FM

You know the words to "Hello Detroit" by Sammy Davis Jr.

You are mad about the Joe Louis Statue (the fist) in the middle of Jefferson

Your neighborhood church is across the street or next door to a liquor store AND a Chinese food restaurant

You don`t know the difference between winter white and summer white

You've been to a club at 1 am and paid $20 to party for one hour

You can buy an outfit, activate your cell phone, and buy lunch at the corner liquor store

You get your hair "did"

You have Mardi Gras beads from Fishbone`s hanging from your rear view mirror

Youo've stopped at a shrimp shack after 2 am (because it tastes the best at this time)

You think that Lou's Deli (the Mc Nichols location) has the best corned beef sandwiches!

You shop at Cest La Vie

You've had to drive a half a mile to make a left turn (The Michigan Left)

You drink Faygo pop

You've knocked all the hub caps off your car - and your alignment's totally out of whack

You go to the Auto Show to find men / women

You own a red leather outfit

You shop at Mr. Alan`s to get the 2 for $50 deal

You shop at City Slicker shoes and the Broadway

You know the words to the City Slicker Shoes and the Broadway radio commercials

You've been to the Festival in Hart Plaza

You own a Navigator or an Expedition and you live with your mother

The Cass Corridor is your jogging route.

Wednesday is Metro Times day.

You have a taste for coney dogs.

You can dodge potholes without dropping your cell phone.

You can name the CEOs of all the Big 3.

You can't get to sleep without the sound of sirens.

You hate the city, but you'll kick the ass of anyone who disses it.

You love Vernor's and Better Made Chips

You refer to the city as "the D."

You swim at Belle Isle beach.

You **TOS VIOLATION** about the need for mass transit but know deep down you'd never use it.

You know the given names of all the expressways.

People get scared when you say you're from here.

You have two cars: One for daily use, and one hooptie for extreme occasions.

A six-street intersection with a Michigan turn seems logical.

You think Devil's Night is celebrated everywhere.

If it's less than 10 blocks away, you drive anyway.

You are connected to Eminem by 3 or fewer people.

You know Eminem and Kid Rock are not actually from Detroit, but Warren (a suburb) and a small farm town.

You have ridden the People Mover.

When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Detroit.
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I'm drinking Faygo as I post this

Posted by: Spradley 09-Dec-2004, 04:17 PM

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You Know You're From Colorado When...</font></td></tr>
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<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 10pt;'>
People move onto the highway at 15 miles an hour.

You have absolutely no recognizable accent.

If the humidity gets above 25%, you consider it "muggy".

You only go to Central City when friends are in from out of town.

You have been skiing less than 10 times in your life

You think 5-points is a ghetto.

You are the third car to run a red light after it has changed.

You say things like "I don't care how big Golden is,
it's still a one-horse town".

You think only stupid people get lost in your town.

When giving directions, you never say "Turn left, turn right", it's always go West, then South.

During a thunderstorm you wonder "which I-25 underpass is flooding".

You never plan a picnic between 3:30 and 6:00 in Spring or Summer months.

If it rains more than 2 days straight you compare the weather to being in Seattle.

You voted for higher taxes to fund Coors field, but voted down taxes for public transportation.

You have a broken windshield.

You see no reason to travel to Aurora.

The only RTD bus you've been on is the 16th Street shuttle.

You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.

You thought "Californication" would be banned by Amendment 2.

You think "South Park" is a place to stop for gas on your way to Buena Vista.

You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.

You have a flat tire in your refrigerator and your garage.

You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.

You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.

You've never seen the tourist attractions in your own city.

You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman.

You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.

Your real Y2K fear was running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.

The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You personally wouldn't pay $10 per head to drive up Pikes Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth, but you tell all our house-guests to do it.

You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.

You think that formal wear is ironed denim.

North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right;" and east and west are where all those damned liberals keep moving in from.

You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.

You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.

You see your East Coast relatives now more than when you lived there.

You think gun control is a steady hand.

You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.

You've stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in flight.

You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.

You're a meat eating vegetarian.

You think the major food groups are Boulder Bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer.

You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate your local sports team's victory.

You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.

You know the correct pronunciation of Buena Vista.

When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.

Your car insurance costs more than your car.

You have surge protectors on every outlet.

April showers bring May blizzards.

You see someone riding a Harley in a snowstorm, and you look closer to see if it's anyone you know.

"Timberline" is someplace you have actually been. Many times.

You know what a "Chinook" is. You know what a "rocky mountain oyster" is. You know what a "fourteener" is. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.

A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does.

Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning-rod.

People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.

Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.

Thunder has set off your car alarm.

A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.

"Where we're going, we don't need roads!"

You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.

You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.

Driving directions usually include 'Go over ____ Pass...'

You've used "checking for ticks" as an excuse to get someone naked.

You've gone skiing in July. You've gone sunbathing in January. They were both in the same year.

You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream

You know the elevation of a town, but not its population.

You never pack away your coat and sweaters.

You can name only two people you know who were actually born in Colorado.

You call tumbleweed "groundcover".

You love your Broncos, your Avs, your Rockies, Nuggets - well you can't have everything.

You or someone you know plays golf 12 months of the year.

You don't have AC in your home, but you use it in your car all winter long.

If it snows in the morning you expect it to be gone by lunchtime.

You can name the states that make up the Four Corners.

You know what and where the Continental Divide is.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Colorado.
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That's scarily true!

Posted by: TheCarolinaScotsman 11-Dec-2004, 09:09 AM

One they forgot, "fruit juice" is made by soaking a couple of peaches (or other fruit of your choice) in moon shine. Most common at pig pickings when asked if "You would like a little fruit juice".

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You Know You're From North Carolina When...</font></td></tr>
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You've gotten used to the smell of cow manure on a car trip to Raleigh.

Saying "y'all" isn't just a cute expression; it actually means something.

There are big labrador retrievers in the back of every truck.

You give directions using KFC and Waffle House as landmarks.

You still see Dale Earndheart tributes on cars.

You can't imagine life without Bojangles' sweet tea

Your annual church fundraiser always deals with bbq and potato salad

You have a sunburn from May to October

Your 'heavy winter clothing' consists of some turtleneck sweaters, a fuzzy jacket, and your daddy's boots

Your family has fried chicken once a week

You can tell the difference between cotton fields and tobacco fields while driving

One of your neighbors has a confederate flag hanging on their front porch

Those "damn yankees" are taking over your school/church/workplace/neighborhood...

You've been "properly raised", and yankees love it when they hear you say "ma'am" and "sir"

You get your carbs from biscuits, rolls, pancakes, and grits

You know the difference between a "redneck" and a "hick".

You own at least one surf shop or seafood restaurant shirts.

No matter what those people in ohio say, we are still "first in flight"

The Coca-Cola 600 is as big as the Super Bowl

You prefer Chick-fil-a to KFC

You know pastry is a chicken stew, not a dessert item.

Every time you visit someone you?re offered something to eat and a glass of tea.

Your granddaddy always wore overalls and your grandma always wore an apron.

In summer you have home-grown tomatoes with every meal.

When it rains and the creek rises, everyone gathers to see how high it rose.

You know that "chunk" the ball means to throw it.

You've had a burger "all the way" - chili and slaw on it.

You can recognize a copperhead and your heart drops when you see one.

You have at least one relative that raises collards.

Your folks have taken trips to the mountains to look at leaves.

Your school classes were cancelled because of a hurricane.

You know Krispy Kreme makes the best doughnut.

You have an opinion about UNC. You went there and loved it, or you hate everyone who did.

You know the best BBQ is found in Lexington

You would rather eat at Bojangles's than McDonald's

You have actually uttered the phrase "It's too hot to go to the pool"

You faithfully drink Pepsi or Mt. Dew everyday of your life.

You have your own secret bbq sauce.

You or your neighbors have more hunting dogs than you have family members.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from North Carolina.
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Posted by: Monarch's Own 11-Dec-2004, 09:29 AM

Well since we already have North Carolina here I thought I put my husbands homestate on here since we plan on moving there someday anyways.

So here it goes:

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You Know You're From Maine When...</font></td></tr>
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You've had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.

You call four inches of snow "a dusting."

You don't understand why there aren't fried clam shacks elsewhere in the county.

You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.

You knew all the flavors at Perry's Nut House.

Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.

You can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.

You've hung out at a gravel pit.

You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.

You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.

Even your school cafeteria made good chowder.

You've almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.

You know how to pronounce Calais.

You've made a meal out of a Jordan's red dye hot-dog, a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of soda.

You've gone to a Grange bean supper.

In high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones.

At least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.

At least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here."

There's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.

You crave Italian sandwiches at least weekly.

Your house converts to a B&B every July and August for people from away that you happen to know.

All year long you're tracking sand in the house-from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.

You have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.

You do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry's.

You've ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!

You know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle.

You know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.

You go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.

You've watched "Murder she Wrote" and snickered at the stupid fake accents.

You know how to find the rope swing at the quarry.

You take the New Hampshire toll personally.

You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.

When you're supposed to dress up, you wear flannel with a tie.

There's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.

You know what a frappe is.

L.L. Bean's not just a store, it's a way of life.

"The City" means exclusively Portland.

"Salt damage" is a viable insurance claim.

All of the traffic lights blink yellow at 10 o'clock at night.

It's not a storm - it's a Nor'eastah.

"Open 24/7" might as well be Greek.

More stores have "Bienvenue" flags than "Welcome" flags.

You eat ice cream with flavors like 'Moose Tracks" and "Maine Black Bear".

You know that a chocolate doughnut is not a white doughnut with chocolate frosting.

You wouldn't eat beans in tomato sauce or Manhattan clam chowder if you were starving!

As a child, you played outside in a snow storm without hat, mittens, scarf and with your jacket open because it was just a little cool.

The area around your back door is referred to as "the dooryard".

You eat potato chips with flavors such as "clam dip", "ketchup" and "dill pickle".

You call the basement "downcellah."

There is only one shopping plaza in town.

You use "wicked" as a multipurpose part of speech

Your pickup has more mud on it then the ground around it for a 15 foot radius.

More than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is moose.

You enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.

If your "luxury vehicle" is a twelve-year-old rustbucket on wheels.

If your dog eats better than you do, and more often too.

If you never say what you paid for an item but how much you "give" for it.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Maine.
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Posted by: MDF3530 11-Dec-2004, 10:20 AM

Here's most of my family:

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You Know You're From Iowa When...</font></td></tr>
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<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 10pt;'>
Vacation means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland

Down South to you means Missouri

You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Moines"

You know the answer to the question, :"Is this Heaven?"

You know where all the Yoders live (or Andersons, or Van den Bergs)

You know what "hawks" and "clones" are

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable

You can locate Iowa on the map

You've ever been on a "Geode Hunt"

Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and is accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice

You say "catty-wampus" instead of "kitty-corner"

You've never taken public transportation

You have boiled fish in lye for Christmas

You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it properly

You know what "Amish Country" is

The only reason you go to Wisconsin or Missouri is to get fireworks

You know exactly where "Field of Dreams" was filmed

When someone says they are going out for dinner or supper, you know which meal they are talking about. You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.

You think of the major food groups as deer meat, beer, corn, and soy nuts.

You're pulled over and asked by the cop, "Had a little to much to drink, (your first name here)?

You own the complete "Dukes of Hazzard" video collection.

"Hick" is a style of clothing.

You can use the words, 'crik', 'holler', and 'skunk weed' in the same sentence.

Your Christmas gift, when you were ten years old was a shotgun (a BB gun if you were a 'townie').

You know someone personally who is involved in meth trade or manufacture.

Your idea of a party is throwing cans of WD40 in a campfire while you're drunk.

You've been to a rave in a barn.

You've had sex in the back of a truck ... amid cows.

You know that cows don't sleep standing up.

You're concerned about the rates of corn growth in Illinois as compared to that of Iowa's.

You listen to Ag Day at 6AM ... two hours after you get up in the morning.

You believe that trees in Iowa lean towards Nebraska ... because Nebraska sucks!

You know several people who still refer to Japanese cars as "rice-burners."

"Styx" plays a concert at the county fair, and people actually show up.

You don't get nervous when you walk into a biker bar (unless you're an Iowa City cop).

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Iowa.
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Posted by: valpal 59 11-Dec-2004, 11:06 AM

Posted by: j Padraig moore 29-Sep-2006, 10:27 AM

Thought I'd dig up an old one...

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You Know You're From Ohio When...</font></td></tr>
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<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 10pt;'>
You don't think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami.

You snicker when someone's from Tiffin, because you think of the State Hospital.

You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!

You've heard of 3.2% beer.

Schools close for the state basketball tournament.

You're proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point.

You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.

You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.

"Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."

You've heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot.

You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.

You root for a college team though you've never taken a class there.

You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, and Tuscarawas

You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer.

You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes.

You know what game they're playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers.

Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point or King's Island.

Down south to you means Kentucky.

You thought that the Michael Stanley Band was the most popular band in the country.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Ohio.
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Posted by: Senara 02-Oct-2006, 09:27 PM

I'm surprised none of the other cheeseheads around here grabbed this one yet, but here goes....

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You Know You're From Wisconsin When...</font></td></tr>
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<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 10pt;'>
You can taste a difference in cheese made somewhere else

You own at least one tie with a or peice of jewelry with a Green Bay Packer theme

You can find and pronounce : Eau Claire, Oconomowoc, Menomonee Falls, Waukesha, and La Crosse, Fond du Lac.

You can correctly spell Milwaukee.

You know what "bubbler" means.

At least one of your family members works / worked in a cheese factory.

A holstein cow outside of Wisconsin makes you miss home.

You can taste the difference between apples grown up north and the ones that you can buy in the south.

When talking about the Green Bay Packers you refer to them as "we".

When the weather hits 0 degrees you decide that maybe it's time to get out a jacket instead of a sweatshirt.

The family gets together every week for fish fry at the local pub.

You know what a brat is, and they're at every outdoor event that your family has ever had.

You know how to make a very good sled out of normal household items.

Your love you outdoor pool because of how it doubles as an ice skating area during the winter.

You can tell the difference between the smell of cow manure and pig manure.

You have watched Fargo and not noticed an accent.

You drive around with the air conditioning on until it hits 30 degrees, because it just was so darn hot outside.

The local paper needs 6 pages to cover the Packers... in July!

Your best shirt has a big letter G on it.

You've said "Of course they'll win. They're God's team."

You think it's nice enough to swim when the temperature hits 50.

You family owns a "winter car" while the "good one" sits in the garage from Nov-Apr.

Your put ketchup on a charcoal grilled NY strip steak.

You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground.

You think everyone from south of Madison has an accent.

You can identify a Michigan accent.

Down South to you means Chicago.

Traveling coast to coast means going from Superior to Milwaukee.

You can make sense out of the words "upnort" and "Trivers".

You have to go to Florida to get a tan in August.

You consider Madison exotic.

You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, New London & Poland all in one afternoon.

You can recognize someone from Illinois from their driving.

You buy cat litter every winter, but you don't own a cat.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant or cannery.

You know what to do with a Blatz.

You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Bucky the Badger hangs on your Christmas tree even if you didn't go to University of Wisconsin Madison.

You're a member of the Polar Bear Club and proud of it.

You can use the word "ya der hey" easily in a sentence

You hear someone use the words "uff-dah" and you don't immediately break into uncontrollable laughter.

Your whole family wears green and gold to church on Sunday.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce.

You know how to polka

You own a cheesehead

You have cow pharaphenilia around your house, including your pajama pants

You know what a FIB is and can spot them a mile away.

You think of the major four food groups as cheese, beer, brats and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

FFA was the most popular club in high school

You have eaten a cow pie at the State Fair.

There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning

Country Kitchen is the place to meet after the party

You have ever seen or played in a "broom ball" game.

You have ever partied at Summerfest, Festa Italiana, German Fest, Irish Fest, Oktoberfest, or all of the above.

You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at a county fair.

You can't be friends with a Vikings fan

Your idea of diversity is having black, white, and brown cows.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Wisconsin.
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Posted by: Aaediwen 03-Oct-2006, 06:53 PM

They need one specifically for the Lexington, KY area

Everything is either inside or outside 'the Circle'
Anyone flying a UofL or Tenessee flag is guilty of high treason
you drive streight through town on the same road and the street name changes at least three times
You know what The Circle is
A conversation about the water company is a political debate
you cried when the castle burned
Every town has a street named after it, in all the towns nearby.
.
.
.

I'll need to come up with more