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Irish Stepper 
Posted: 25-Oct-2004, 05:52 PM
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Thanks Susie! I've already gotten the questionaires filled out by his teachers. I think deep down I know that they're right. I'm just in denial. sad.gif


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Annham 
Posted: 25-Oct-2004, 09:53 PM
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Irish,
I feel your pain, That sounds like us last year. It was so frustrating. sad.gif
Our family Dr. was the one I asked about who would be a good person to take Devin to. Luckily there is a group of Psychiatrists here who specialize in Attention Deficit.. They have an "Attention Deficit Center" You may be able to find something like that near you. We had to fill out questionaires and his teacher filled out one too. Then we went in and met with the nurse first, then Beth and I had to go through a computer questionaire.. Devin also took some sort of computer test. It somhow measures how much he is focusing... That is what the Dr. used to decide whether the medication he was on was working as well as he wanted.
Anyway, If I had it to do over again I would have begged to try him on some medication when we first began noticing the problems because he doesn't have any side effects, and the difference in how well he is able to focus is amazing. He was also messy & disorganized and that's better too.
One thing, I mentioned before, It took a couple of months to get him on the right combination of meds, so if you don't notice a big difference at first, don't dispair.
Good Luck to You!
Anne


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maisky 
Posted: 26-Oct-2004, 07:20 AM
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Even though a child who is ADD or ADHD will drive you to distraction, there are good aspects: It means the kid is very bright, for one. When they learn to filter the "stuff" coming in from their environments and focus they will be capable of phenomenal things. As far as advice, establishing a VERY tight routine in their life helps a lot. The index cards are good. Another thing is to (as much as possible) eliminate suger and caffein from their diet. A steady addition of vitamines, especially B-complex helps. These things I know from personal experience: I am ADHD. rolleyes.gif


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susieq76 
Posted: 26-Oct-2004, 08:10 AM
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That is very true and wonderful, maisky! We folks with ADD aren't missing anything. We are incredibly creative, bright, thoughtful, and can see things in patterns that others can't.

I, too, grieved for my daughter when I found out about her ADD. Until I realized that her life would not be like mine was growing up. People are aware now, there is medicine, information and help out there. Your son is able to get what he needs and be as successful as he was meant to be. If you need to grieve, realize that is normal. But make sure you do it away from him (obviously) so that he doesn't associate these gifts and personality traits as something bad. You are a great mom, and your son sounds like a great kid. You will both be fine! smile.gif


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moongoddess 
Posted: 03-Nov-2004, 06:27 PM
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I'm a single parent of two girls aged 12 and 15.My 12yr old Ashleigh has Dyspraxia and my 15 yr old Jade has recently been diagnosed with ADHD but i couldn't understand the hyperactive bit until it was pointed out she does get restless.The Paedritrician gave me a choice-ritilin or eye q,so i opted for eye q as it contains natural substances like fish oils and evening primrose oil.What i don't understand is why he didn't offer it to Ashleigh.Both girls are causing me a great deal of stress at the moment.Ashleigh started secondry school september and went straight into LSC and already has had a 3 day suspension for kicking a teacher,using abusive language at another and throwing a chair at a male teacher!Why i ask myself!When i asked her teacher had they tried time out they said yes but it didn't work!It seems to me Ashleigh was frustrated and only trying to stick up for herself if she thinks that they are picking on her and when she tries to get the teachers attention when someone picks on her they tell her to go away.If she is naughty she has to go without her break.Because of her co ordination probs she still can't fasten her shoelaces yet they seem to get annoyed at this fact and tell her she must learn,so when i went to the parents coffee morning we discused the matter and i said i would take her for some velcro shoes that week end.But the pair we ended up buying she couldn't twist her right foot to fit into the shoe so we took them back(she has a weakness in her thighs that make her feet turn inwards)So we went to Clarks to get her feet measured,one foot was three and a half and the other foot was four and a half,so there is no way she can wear velcro.So she sees the fitter at the hospital this month about her insoles so i will ask him about special shoes.I explained all this to her helper and alerted her to the fact that Ash could have an op which would involve breaking both her legs at the same time and re setting them at same angles and this would be a lengthly process."Oh so you are planning on having them done during the summer hols"Didn't she realise you can't pick and choose when to have an op!Now my other daughter Jade has started to self harm this week because she is depressed about the work being too hard.I contacted her school who told me the teachers were aware of the situation.The thing is the works not hard she is quiete intelligent but can't put it on paper so i suggested she had an helper to help write down the answers.They said they would look into it,but no one has come back to me and the doc just said it was normal in someone suffering from depression and was sending a letter to the paedratrcian whom we see in december.What else can i do?I'm disabled myself and my family live 280 miles away from me.
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susieq76 
Posted: 03-Nov-2004, 06:38 PM
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Hey moongoddess,

I feel for your situation. How awful it must be. I can't even begin to offer advice, but I will say this. I would be very very concerned if my daughter began harming herself. The school, her pediatrician, and this doctor should be very worried about this. Are you talking about cutting, or something like that? If so, I am horrified that the doctor would say this is normal. My daughter began giving herself bruises by biting and sucking on her skin, and I took her to a counselor right away. She has stopped for now, but any type of self hurt should be cause for worry and action from you. You sound like you are in over your head. Is there anyone around you - friends, etc - who could help you bear this burden or be an advocate for you.

I will be praying for you.

Just as a side note - restlessness is natural for ADD as well as ADHD, so she may very well have ADD only. I have not heard of this eye q medicine. I would be interested in knowing more about it.
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Annham 
Posted: 04-Nov-2004, 07:03 AM
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Hi Moongoddess,
I agree with Susie, I wonder why they didn't refer you to a psychiatrist who may be able to better diagnose & treat their problems.
My grandson has ADHD, without the hyperactivity, but is restless too...
He is on Metidate and a small dose of wellbutrin. It has made a world of difference for him and he doesn't have any noticable side effects. I've not heard of the IQ medicine either - does it seem to help? Here, they seem to be trying to steer away from using Ritalin.
Susie mentioned getting some support, I think that would be a good idea too. Maybe even a single parent support group.
I'll be thinking of you and hope you & your daughters can get some relief soon.
Anne
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moongoddess 
Posted: 05-Nov-2004, 06:48 PM
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Hi Susie and Annham,thanks for your support,she has been cutting her arm which she showed to the doctor,she had been banging her head against the freezer door but that could be part of one of the symtoms of AHDD,as she bangs her head against the bedroom wall often.I was very surprised the GP didn't refere her to see a child Phychiatrist straightaway.Luckily we have a chech up appointment to see the paed on 8th dec.Eyeq is a natural substance anyone can buy over the counter for any kind of medical conditions such as diabetes,arthritis adhdd,dyspraxia etc because it maintains healthy brain cells and concentration etc.It costs £8 a bottle,so i was pleased her's was prescribed.As for the school i'm hoping our social worker will come to see someone from the lea to discuss proper imput from the school like a carer.My family live 280 miles away because i came to live in Wales to get away from my violent ex husband,domineering mother and other abuse.Iv'e friends here but always busy.One will support me as she's seen Jade's behaviour but she's in her final year in nurse training,but if need be i know i can count on her.
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Annham 
Posted: 05-Nov-2004, 06:55 PM
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Good Luck Moongodess,
I'm sue we'll be thinking of you here and will be glad to give all the long-distane support we can.
I'm not sure how your healthcare works over there... but I wish you could see the Dr. sooner:-(

Anne
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moongoddess 
Posted: 07-Nov-2004, 07:13 PM
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Just to let you know iv'e now found a website to do with ADHDD and it appears there is a support group in my town of Aberystwyth.Iv'e e mailed them and just awaiting a reply.Will letyou know how we get on.Thanks for your support,Sue(moongoddess)
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Annham 
Posted: 07-Nov-2004, 07:45 PM
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QUOTE (moongoddess @ 07-Nov-2004, 08:13 PM)
Just to let you know iv'e now found a website to do with ADHDD and it appears there is a support group in my town of Aberystwyth.Iv'e e mailed them and just awaiting a reply.Will letyou know how we get on.Thanks for your support,Sue(moongoddess)

That's great, I'm glad to hear that. smile.gif
Anne
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susieq76 
Posted: 08-Nov-2004, 09:51 AM
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I, too, am glad to hear of this support group. I can tell you that ADHD/ADD has a very high co-morbidity rate with other mental health disorders. That means that there is a higher incidence of them occurring together than is normal. I have never heard of banging into things and cutting oneself as symptomatic of ADD. It is generally thought to be a way that children release emotions they cannot express, such as depression, anger, fear, etc. But in no way is it a good thing. I would encourage, if you can, your daughter to try and talk to you or someone else about these feelings until you can get to your pediatrician. Hopefully this can help. We'll be praying for you. Hopefully things will turn around soon.
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maisky 
Posted: 08-Nov-2004, 10:11 AM
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QUOTE (susieq76 @ 08-Nov-2004, 08:51 AM)
I, too, am glad to hear of this support group. I can tell you that ADHD/ADD has a very high co-morbidity rate with other mental health disorders. That means that there is a higher incidence of them occurring together than is normal. I have never heard of banging into things and cutting oneself as symptomatic of ADD. It is generally thought to be a way that children release emotions they cannot express, such as depression, anger, fear, etc. But in no way is it a good thing. I would encourage, if you can, your daughter to try and talk to you or someone else about these feelings until you can get to your pediatrician. Hopefully this can help. We'll be praying for you. Hopefully things will turn around soon.

You may note that MOST mental distress side-effects with an ADD or ADHD child occur in the parents. biggrin.gif
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susieq76 
Posted: 08-Nov-2004, 10:14 AM
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lol.gif Wow - as if I didn't have enough of my own to worry about! But that is sure enough the truth, maisky!
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Dreamer1 
Posted: 14-Nov-2004, 02:44 PM
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Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if this belongs here, or if I should've started a new Topic. Either way, I'd really appreciate your help in dealing with a (somewhat) sticky situation. I need to know if you think I'm overreacting and being unreasonable, or if my action was justified. Here goes... (don't laugh now!).... Our daughters are both blessed with many friends, from all backgrounds, for which we're very grateful and which we've always tried to encourage. However, for the past 6 months or so they've both been getting phone calls inviting them for playdates (get-togethers, etc.), from friends who (once finding that our daughter is available) proceed to invite themselves over to our house for said playdate. I didn't mind this so much at first because I knew that the friends' parents were both busy people who had probably told them they couldn't have anyone over that day. But this has become a regular pattern now, and I'm beginning to feel like we're being taken advantage of! We were always taught as kids that inviting ourselves over to someone's house was rude and we've tried to teach our girls the same thing. Now they see their friends doing just that, and think that we're just being old-fashioned. To add insult to injury, one Mom told me face-to-face that her daughter really enjoyed playing with our daughter, and that she was available any weekend whenever we would like to have her daughter come over for the day! huh.gif (My reaction was to take a breath, smile and tell her that was good to know.) Now, this morning I decided that I really, really wanted a quiet house without 6 zillion phone calls before 10:00 am, so I secretly unplugged the phone. BLISS!! Now, though, I'm feeling guilty because - you guessed it- our eldest recieved 3 calls before 10:00 (recorded on the upstairs box). I had to admit to her what I'd done, but she didn't seem to care.

So, now that I've ranted, please tell me what you think. Am I being unreasonable and mean? Or am I justified, and within my rights to want a quiet day without anyone coming over? How would you handle things? Please let me know what you honestly think, and thanks for letting me spout.

Dreamer1 angel_not.gif


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