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Celtic Radio Community > Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night! > Dog And Cat Diary |
Posted by: haynes9 09-Jan-2008, 07:07 PM |
This is a page from two diaries. One is a dog the other is a cat . . . I can relate to my animals through this! Excerpts from a Dog's Diary 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow – but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now... |
Posted by: jime307 09-Jan-2008, 10:58 PM |
Well you can bet that made the milk shoot out my nose! |
Posted by: valpal 59 10-Jan-2008, 09:22 AM |
Posted by: gaberlunzie 12-Jan-2008, 02:00 PM |
This is so very true ... I have had cats for almost all my life and have a kitten of almost half a year now...so I could sign every letter of the avove! Great post, Mark! |
Posted by: UlsterScotNutt 28-Feb-2008, 09:24 AM |
Ok, now my co-workers really know I don't really work and have gone crazy as I sit here laughing hysterically. Too funny, thanks for the laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Posted by: ctbard 30-Mar-2008, 01:42 PM |
I actually think one of my parrots plots againest me.I know he difinitly is out to get my husband. My husband now calls him slasher. |
Posted by: Faerydreamer 05-Jul-2009, 08:12 PM |
I think that all 21 of my birds are happy that I do not have a cat. They love to torment the dogs, since one of the dogs is scared of them. I can imagine a cat thinking that way. |
Posted by: MelissaDawn7 29-May-2014, 10:51 AM |
Haha I have dogs and a cat and that definitely reminds me of them! |