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> > How to Shower Like a Woman
> >
> > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
> > lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see
> > husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly
> > physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts,
> > etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
> > loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber
> > and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make >> sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
> > enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
> > until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
> > wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off
> > shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
> > Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of
> > a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Check entire body
> > for zits; tweeze hairs. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
> > towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
> > areas.
> >
> >
> >
> > How to Shower Like a Man
> >
> > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
> > pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
> > wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in
> > the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. Get in
> > the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your
> > hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it
> > sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and
> > surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving hairs stuck on the soap. Wash
> > your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower.
> > Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
> > hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> > Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to
> > bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake
> > wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.
> > If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
> > there is something so very wrong with you.
> >
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"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
Carl Sagan
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Showering, Warning: somewhat risque
