Eternal Debate: Cat Or Dog?, heh heh. . .

[stoirmeil]

How To Pill a Cat
Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on each side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat gently in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, pick up and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into cat's mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill out of foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep up shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set on one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with a pencil and blow into drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door just enough so that head is showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with plastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by a large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearms and removes pill from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home and order new dining table.

Arrange for ASPCA to collect cat and contact local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.



How To Pill a Dog

Wrap it in bacon.

[Madadh]

My master always tied a pill to a cats tail ... I always got my medicine down with
no problem

[Sekhmet]

I had a cat just like that. Poor Sarah had been kicked by the local porch monkeys at the bus stop, and getting medicine into her was a *trip*. She bit through a leather forge glove when I tried to dose her...LOL I never knew a cat could get *under* a bathtub before.

[brettzky42]

Oddly enough, this sounds like the experience I had when I took care of 3 of my friends cats for a week. 2 needed meds each day. I used to dread visiting the house each night to hunt them down.

My dog, however, doesnt even need the bacon. He'll eat whatever is put in front of his nose.

I think that he also spills my Guinness on purpose so that he can drink it while I'm going for paper towels.

[dundee]

just disolve the dam pill in a pint of guinness.....
on second thought leave the pill in the pill bottle and
drink the guinness your own self...

as far as dogs go i tell chuckie catch... and he does...
then we both have a guinness....

[Lil]

Our dog is the same way, put it in front of his nose and he will eat it. As long as it doesn't eat him first.....he got out the other night and when Whitney was trying to find him, she saw him chasing a rabbit across the street, then when he came back by her a few minutes later, he had something fuzzy in his mouth. Not enough time to have eaten a rabbit, but definately enough to have pulled off it's cotton tail!

Lil

[Rosemarie]

[COLOR=green]isympathize with you,I've been around cats all my life. Trying to medicate or cut toe nails can lead to need of a dr. I loved the story, I could'nt stop laughing. 3cats

[Monarchs Own]

My cats don't have that problem. They do tricks when I have something in my hand. But I have to be careful. She likes to jump in and tries to get the treat (or meds hehehe).

But for sure it's easier to give a dog his meds than a cat. I guess mine are a bit of an exceptinn to the policy. My previous cats never have been that easy to give meds.

[shanna]

I've never had a problem giving meds to my cats, however, my mothers dog is another matter.

The vet always get a chuckle when I have to take her in, I have to pull on heavy leather gloves (all the while the dog is in the carrier trying its best to chew out of the metal gate) and then I pull out the viscous beast... a 2 pound chihuahua trying to chew my arm off And somehow, I always end up taking her.

[stoirmeil]

That's the trouble with little dogs. They still think they're wolves, just like any other dog.

Pills are nearly impossible to get down most cats. We used to ask for oral meds as drops, which my mother would mix with the oil from a can of tuna and then use a dropper. But the worst was the drops for the ear mites. How they hated that! It must be awfully tormenting and uncomfortable to have the mites, and then the tickling drops . . . and it probably stung after they'd been scratching, too. We could never find them once they smelled the medication, and mummying them in a towel was a joke. It really took three people per cat, and then they wouldn't speak to us for days, no matter how much fish oil we perfumed ourselves with.