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| Celtic Radio Community > The Jester's Court > A How To Guide! |
| Posted by: Ceciliastar1 24-Apr-2005, 10:42 AM |
| How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: >1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point >a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. > >2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. > >3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries >with that. > >4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN." > >5) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. > >6) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten >over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. > >7) edited for general audiences > >8) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." > >9) Don't use any punctuation > >10) As often as possible, skip rather than walk. > >11) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they >answer. > >12) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." > >13) Sing along at the opera. > >14) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. > >15) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle >sounds all day. > >16) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their >party because you're not in the mood. > >17) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. > >18) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" >"3rd time this week!!!" > >19) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, >yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!" > >20) Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going >to have to let one of you go." > > And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity... > >21) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they >sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this. > > > > > >10 Bad Ways To Start A Conversation With Your Parents > >10. The important thing is, no one was hurt. > >9. Has the school called yet? > >8. Do you still have full coverage on the car? > >7. Now don't over react like the other parents did... > >6. First of all, I was an innocent bystander.. > >5. Before you ask, No I wasn't drunk. > >4. How quickly can you liquidate your retirement plan? > >3. Do you think it's possible to get high from second-hand smoke? > >2. You can't believe everything that the neighbors say... > >1. I love you. I really, really love you. |