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Celtic Radio Community > Kirk and Chapel > Joys And Concerns


Posted by: Elspeth 13-Mar-2004, 03:24 PM
We thought it might be nice to have a place to post our joys and concerns.

If you have something you'd like to present as a prayer request, or something you'd just like to share with the community, please, post it here.


Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6 &7

Posted by: CelticRose 13-Mar-2004, 04:55 PM
Oh, one of my favorite scriptures, Elspeth! I love that as I tend to be so anxious about things all the time. I have many joys and yet I have concerns too. I am very thankful for my life and what and who God has placed in my life. I think the most anxious thoughts tend to be with financial security and yet God supplies my needs every month when I need to pay bills.............it is amazing!

Thanks for starting this thread, Elspeth!

Posted by: tsargent62 13-Mar-2004, 05:01 PM
In the church we used to attend there was always a time to present our joys and concerns. It was one of my favourite times in the service.

I do have a joy. My oldest son celebrated his 17th birthday yesterday. I am very thankful and joyful that God gave me 3 truely beautiful, healthy children.

Todd

Posted by: CelticRose 13-Mar-2004, 06:48 PM
Oh, Todd! what a true blessing! Must make you very proud too!

Posted by: Elspeth 13-Mar-2004, 06:51 PM
Todd, Yeah for healthy children. And happy birthday to your young man.

I have four healthy children that I am thankful for. Two have birthdays as well in the weeks to come.

Rose, I found that scripture when looking for something to close with and I promptly copied it and stapled it to my computer table.

I have needed that as well, for there are many things going on with me right now that am am exceedingly anxious about. Sleepless nights, churning stomach and shaking hands have been the norm for a few weeks.

So, I am clinging to that promise of peace and reminding myself, as a friend said to me, that life isn't this single point, but a continuum. smile.gif

Posted by: tsargent62 13-Mar-2004, 07:03 PM
QUOTE (Elspeth @ Mar 13 2004, 07:51 PM)
Todd, Yeah for healthy children. And happy birthday to your young man.

I have four healthy children that I am thankful for. Two have birthdays as well in the weeks to come.

Rose, I found that scripture when looking for something to close with and I promptly copied it and stapled it to my computer table.

I have needed that as well, for there are many things going on with me right now that am am exceedingly anxious about. Sleepless nights, churning stomach and shaking hands have been the norm for a few weeks.

So, I am clinging to that promise of peace and reminding myself, as a friend said to me, that life isn't this single point, but a continuum. smile.gif

Elspeth,

I don't know what is happening to make you anxious, but I'll be praying for you.

You may be familiar with this already, but this is a prayer that helps me when I'm stressed about something. It's called the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the strength to accept the things I can not change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

Todd

Posted by: Elspeth 13-Mar-2004, 07:11 PM
Thanks much Todd. smile.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 13-Mar-2004, 07:18 PM
Ooh! Todd! That is a good one! I had forgotten all about that one!

Eslpeth! I love that scripture too. I will pray for you as I said I would.

Posted by: Arianrhod 13-Mar-2004, 08:27 PM
I have so much to be joy full for ...
When I look at the state of the world today..
That is where my concerns arise from...

My own small issues pale ...
and I realise how very Blessed I am..

This is a wonderful Thread Elspeth.. thank you !

In Service to the Dream,
Paula

Posted by: Elspeth 15-Mar-2004, 05:51 AM
Since there may be people who read this thread, but are not comfortable posting, I'd like to ask that we pray for all of the unspoken joys and burdens as well.

Thanks

Elspeth

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 15-Mar-2004, 04:19 PM
I have a 'praise' to report... I've managed to keep the negative thoughts at bay today. Doesn't sound like much, but sometimes it takes a lot of concentration to keep from being overwhelmed.

I'm glad I finally realized that so much of our attitudes are choices, choices about how we regard the situations we find ourselves in... with God's help, I am going to be more optimistic and positive in my attitudes from now on.

Posted by: RobertH 15-Mar-2004, 08:45 PM
Praises? Thank God, they are legion!
Just celebrated 23 years of marriage to a lady who's really put up with a lot (me!).
Son just turned 17 - NHS, Eagle Scout, honest, dependable (ok, I'm a proud dad)
Daugher is honor student, advanced courses, mature, trustworthy.
Dad fought three different types of cancer over the years, and is still with us.
We are in a great church with wonderful and caring pastors.
I found a great website for Celtic radio!

I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, a job, and a family of which I am very proud. Things are never perfect, but when you put it all in perspective, the occasional dolt with which we all have to deal really doesn't matter much.

God bless!

Posted by: Elspeth 16-Mar-2004, 06:29 AM
I am going to take a real leap of faith here and say something that I have kept a guarded secret for years.

My husband is an alcoholic. Really has been since I met him. He isn't violent or anything. He would be what some call a 'functioning alcoholic' - able to function in society so that few know of his condition, unable to fully function in relationships.

I have kept this private as I felt it was his problem and I didn't have the right to expose his vulnerability. But after 20 years I have come to the point where it is beyond me to deal with alone anymore.

There is so much involved with this when you are trying to raise children. What is best for the kids? What is best for him? What is best for me? As the kids get older, it is starting to affect them. They worry. One has acted out because they didn't know what to do with the fear. And it has always affected me in so many ways.

It would be great to get a magical easy answer, but that doesn't exist. It is too complicated. I am just finding myself needing a place of somewhat anonymity to share of this.

Posted by: Arianrhod 16-Mar-2004, 06:41 AM
Elspeth * big hugs*

Good for you for getting this out in to the light of Day..
You can't change anyone, but you can find all the love
and support you need , while you deal with it ..
I hope you find a great deal of that here...

You are a bright , wonderful being ..
We are all lucky to have you in our lives.

I will support you in everyway I can..

In Service to the Dream,
Paula


Posted by: andylucy 16-Mar-2004, 06:42 AM

My joy is for my 5 year old. He is doing very well in kindergarten, his religion classes, and he spontaneously said yesterday, "Go Army, beat Navy! Huah!" biggrin.gif

Elspeth, there is no reason for you to attempt to carry this by yourself. It will eventually wear you down. I don't know about where you live, but around here, several of the churches have developed groups, along the lines of AA, but for the families affected by this disease. These groups can really be a help, if for no other reason than to help you realize that your pain is not yours alone. I know, because my parish started a group for those suffering from depression. I have battled this for at least 15 years. The hardest part was always feeling that I had to face it alone; that the pain was mine alone. Not true. Hearing how others cope gives me strength, as well as coping mechanisms to try out. Look around, and see if any churches have a group like this.

I will pray for you, and for all. God bless!!

Just my tuppence.

Andy

Posted by: Elspeth 16-Mar-2004, 06:42 AM
Thank you dearest girl. This site has been a Godsend to me. smile.gif

Posted by: Arianrhod 16-Mar-2004, 06:51 AM
I am glad Andylucy made that suggestion..
There are groups... if and when you need one..
and comfort in the support they can give you ...

I love seeing all the HOPE in this thread..
People being greatful, for the things that really matter in life!
Home , Family, Friends !

You made people look deep and see what they truely have to be greatful for !
That is a gift...
Thank you Elspeth , for sharing with us
and letting us do the same !

In Service to the Dream,
Paula

Posted by: tsargent62 16-Mar-2004, 12:23 PM
Elspeth,

I am the son of an alcohic mother. Thankfully, she got help, but it did affect my brother and I. I can only imagine what you are going through. I know with intimate detail what alcoholism is and what it can do to a family. Unfortunately, it was one of the contributing factors to my parents' divorce.

I give you a tremendous amount of credit for trying to understand your husband's disease and for respecting him enough not to expose this in a truly public forum. I am thankful that you have faith in our Lord. I am also thankful and humbled that you have entrusted us to support you.

If I was there I'd give you big hug and a kiss on the cheek. If you want to talk on a deeper level, perhaps from the perspective of a child of an alcoholic, feel free to PM me.

Todd

Posted by: CelticRose 16-Mar-2004, 01:47 PM
Elspeth! That took a lot of courage to share your secret. I have a sister-in-law who deals with an alcoholic husband daily. She has left him many times with her two daughters who have been affected by this too. He goes to rehab and comes out doing fine, making all kinds of promises. She goes back to him each time. The is a repeated thing that goes on in there family all the time. I have seen her pain and embarrassment, but she loves him and always goes back. There are alanon groups I think they are called for people in your position too.

Appears you have friends here to help you with prayers and a listening ear.

many hugs to you and God give you strength.

Thank you for sharing.

Posted by: silverdragon 16-Mar-2004, 03:22 PM
Elspeth, God bless! I am a recovering alcoholic, 25 years sober. My husband is also an alcoholic. Believe me, I KNOW it is not "just his problem" -- ALL in the family are affected. I most STRONGLY suggest the http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/. May you find the comfort, support and plan of action for yourself there that I have found in my own recovery support group.

Posted by: High Plains Drifter 16-Mar-2004, 07:09 PM
I have a joy to share, I am now a great-granddad.

Elspeth, I don't have any simple answers for you but I want you to know that there some of us out here who truly care and I know you will be in my prayers.

Posted by: RobertH 16-Mar-2004, 10:37 PM
Drifter...congratulations!

Elspeth - my heart and prayers are with you. I have two relatives (that I know of) that have similarly fought that battle. One is recovering, the other drifted away and doesn't contact anyone. I've seen the ramifications of the disease while in the service, and can only tell you what you already know - seek out the help with which you are most comfortable and confident, and continue with prayer.

Andylucy - if your little one can say "Go Army, Beat Navy", he's well on his way to success...Go Army!

Posted by: Elspeth 17-Mar-2004, 05:34 AM
Thank you everyone. I think the hardest thing is not knowing what to do about it. One of those 'life should come with an operating manual' situations.

And Congratulations High Plains! A great-grandbaby! Boy? Girl? Close enough for you to spoil on a regular basis?

Posted by: High Plains Drifter 17-Mar-2004, 01:05 PM
It's a boy and about 900 miles away so it's a big deal to go see him.

Posted by: tsargent62 17-Mar-2004, 01:18 PM
Hey, HPD, where in Colorado you from? I lived in Colorado Springs for a couple years and loved it. Should've never left. sad.gif

Posted by: kelaorqu 17-Mar-2004, 10:59 PM
Elspeth - I don't have any answers but I will pray for you. I can't imagine what it must be like.
To the rest of you - you are wonderful people!

I am having spiritual problems in my life right now... nothing major, but I guess just more of a lack of motivation. I am frustrated because I don't give God enough time and am a horrible witness. I am shy about Christianity when talking about non-Christians and it bugs me to no end! I want to change, but nothing seems to work. I just end up getting more frustrated with my life. i also get frustrated because all the Christians around me are full of doctrine and words but fail miserably when putting it into practise. I don't want to become like that!

I am planning on going to Australia for a year in January. There is a school there called Capernwray and it focuses on spiritual growth and leadership. As I want to get more involved in missions and social work after school i really hope this will give me the spiritual slap in the face smile.gif

But as a joy, my nephew just turned a month recently and he is absolutely beautiful!

Posted by: High Plains Drifter 18-Mar-2004, 12:03 AM
Hey tsargent, I live about as far north of Denver as the Springs is south, in the Ft. Collins, Greeley area.

kelaorqu, I have no answer for you but will remember you when I pray. That is the best I can offer at this time.

Posted by: Elspeth 18-Mar-2004, 09:26 AM
Welcome kelaorqu!

I know what you mean about feeling like I'm failing in the witness department.

I have finally evolved to the place where I believe if God wants me to speak out, he will begin the nugding process. And if I keep feeling nudged, the He will present the opportunity to act on the nudge. Then it is up to me to follow through.

Unfortunately most of us Christians are like tea bags as they say, only of any good when in hot water. rolleyes.gif It is the easiest to be close to God when we need Him. When things are going well, then it is all too easy to forget who gave us all the good stuff. You are hardly alone in those feelings.

Australia! You'll have to let us know how it goes.

Elspeth

Posted by: tsargent62 18-Mar-2004, 02:01 PM
I have a concern. I do computer work (UNIX administration) for a large automobile manufacturer whom shall remain nameless. I'm in a contract position. Well, it looks like the company will soon sign an agreement with EDS to do the IT work here. It has not been announced who will be staying and who will be going. Quite obviously, I'm a bit scared. The IT market ain't what it used to be. I don't want to wait for the ship to sink, so I trying to bail now. I have a possible lead on another job (with yet a different car company), but it is nothing solid. Haven't had an interview yet, but they are submitting my resume.

I would be open to moving, but I have a 17 yo son in 11th grade. Has a serious girlfriend and plays varsity hockey. I can't uproot him from that. It would be way too unfair and possibly damaging. So, I'm stuck looking locally. At least for the next year. Then I'd like to go south.

I could use some prayers. And if anyone knows anyone hiring UNIX/Linux admins in the Detroit area....

In Christian Love,
Todd

Posted by: kelaorqu 18-Mar-2004, 03:20 PM
QUOTE
Unfortunately most of us Christians are like tea bags as they say, only of any good when in hot water.  It is the easiest to be close to God when we need Him. When things are going well, then it is all too easy to forget who gave us all the good stuff. You are hardly alone in those feelings.

This is so true Elspeth! Thanks for sharing that and thanks everyone for your prayers. It's good to know that there are brothers and sisters that feel the same as you do!
tsargent62, i know nothing about computers or places where you can work, but I will pray for you and that you will find a job. I'm sure God will provide, even if it doesn't look like it.

And I'll let you all know what happens with Australia.. Right now I too need a job though! smile.gif

Posted by: RobertH 18-Mar-2004, 09:47 PM
Todd -

I'm far away from Detroit, but will certainly keep you in my prayers. I understand your position - I took retirement from the service to keep my kids in the same high school. Having been an Army Brat myself, I remember full well what it was like to switch high schools. Like you, though, I'd make any sacrifice for my kids.

Pax.
Robert

Posted by: CelticRose 18-Mar-2004, 10:50 PM
Wow! Elspeth! Thank you for starting this thread! It has been wonderful to see people sharing and praying for each other.

I have a concern and praise as well. My mother was hit with a minor stroke this week. She has some internal bleeding going on that we don't know the whys about and she has some other issues as well. We know now what caused the stroke and they are working on that. She remains hospitalized and my sister in California is there by her hospital bed caring for her every need, bugging the heck out of the nurses on the ward as well. biggrin.gif Wow! I had no idea my baby sister was so assertive! Anyway, we are lucky in that it was a minor stroke as she is well aware of what is going on and can care for herself, carry on a conversation, despite the fact that she has some verbal limitations and the frustration to go with that. So that is what is going on in my life. Each day I talk with my mother she seems to get that much better. Still appreciate your prayers for healing and what actions I should take as I live out of state from the whole situation. Thanks! smile.gif

Posted by: Elspeth 19-Mar-2004, 07:11 AM
Todd, I pray your job situation becomes settled with the least amount of anxiety. I'll refer you back to the scripture that started this thread -

Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6 &7

I think maybe we should start every page of this thread with this. I know I was reminding myself of it just this morning. Actually, I was smacking my self upside the head with it. When will I learn?

And you are to be commended for putting the needs of your son first. We sometimes forget to tell each other that.

Rose, I am sorry your mother is ill but glad your sister is able to be with her. My prayers are with her and with you. It is often so hard to know what to do isn't it?

My wish for all of you, today and always, is the peace which transcends all understanding.

Elspeth

Posted by: CelticRose 19-Mar-2004, 07:27 AM
Hi Elspeth! Thank you for your kind prayers! It is soooooooo hard to know what to do. I feel helpless either way. If I go now I know there is nothing I can do and if I stay here all I can do is pray. I am thinking that maybe I will go to California in April when my mother is home and I can spend quality time with her and help her get her memory back as much as possible. I can only stay a week but would be better than nothing,don't you think? unsure.gif

Posted by: Elspeth 19-Mar-2004, 08:53 AM
If your sister is with her now, that sounds like a good plan to go in a few weeks. You mother will benefit from whatever time you can be with her and your sister will probably be ready for a break by then too.

Keep us posted.


Posted by: gaberlunzie 19-Mar-2004, 06:29 PM
I?m going to post a really LONG post, so don?t say you have not been warned! You all know that English isn?t my first language , so please, don?t mind a clumsy style or mistakes?thank you!
It wasn?t a careless decision to write down this story. It is a story of horror and pain as well as hope and joy.
Reading this thread has been very helpful for me. Yes, I am one of those Elspeth asked you to pray for, those who feel not comfortable enough posting very personal things. It worked. Really. I felt so terribly empty and lost ? and now I?m gaining hope again!
I hope my story might encourage someone who is possibly fighting the hardest fight in his life ? to continue fighting. Why? Because there is always a way out for those who really WANT it.

Now, this is a survivor?s story.

I was born in a very small village, where I grew up the first few years of my life in a wonderful, loud and warm ? hearted family with parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and my granny, this woman with the most loving heart of all. It was like paradise and I was the happiest child on earth. I still have this warm and happy feeling only by remembering those five years.
Then all changed all of a sudden, over night ? completely unexpected for me ? my parents whom I both loved dearly separated. My Mum and me moved to another county, about 600 miles away?with the man my Mum had fallen in love with.
I felt totally uprooted. Nobody explained me why this all happened?probably my Mum couldn?t as she had to manage her own life now.
My brother and my sister were born. I loved them and still do.
I was never allowed to see or to speak about my Dad again. I missed him so much ? but I wasn?t asked. I just had to obey.
All in all we had a life not too bad at all. I?ve always been ?this other man?s child? for my step ? father which was hard to live with. There wasn?t anyone I could have talked about my concerns, so I learnt to get along alone very early in my life.

It happened when I was 12 years old. The ?Unspeakable? which nearly killed me. From this date until the age of 19 I had been sexually abused by my step ? father.
I do not want to go into details. Just that I had been an unsuspecting child at the age of 12. Scared to death ? I was helpless.
I knew my Mum loved that man. She never was a strong woman. And my brother and my sister?they were so young and innocent. I loved them all so much. I couldn?t tell anyone. I couldn?t tell and destroy this family. Their future. So I decided to be the only victim in the family. To be silent.
I felt guilty. Something had to be wrong with me because this happened to me. I felt guilty because I couldn?t defend myself against that man?
My soul was dying, piece by piece. I became speechless. I was sure some of my relatives knew what was going on but they all closed their eyes, turned away because ?it couldn?t be what shouldn?t be??
When I stood nearby the railroad tracks ready to jump when the train approached because I couldn?t bear it all any longer, absolutely without a spark of hope or strength, I felt this ?something??I can?t describe it?all of a sudden.
I thought there was nothing left at all ? but it WAS! I decided to be a survivor! Though I knew I would have to suffer the more I decided to fight. I knew it would be like walking on a sword?s blade with naked feet, cutting my feet painfully by each step ? but I never stopped walking since. ?It is MY life and I don?t give it away ? I?ll survive !?
It worked though it took me years.

Years later I got married. Loved ? what an indescribable feeling. What a joy to be able to FEEL again!
My children were born ? purest joy and happiness!
15 years later my husband left the family over night (literally) to live with another woman. My whole life broke down once again. My children were scared ? and became sick. Mentally ill. They both tried to commit suicide ? I found them in the very last second.
We managed it. We crossed an ocean of tears, pain and despair to the shores of hope, confidence, strength and love.
The worst pain I ever felt in my life was to see my children so much in pain and suffering so badly. During this time I often lay on my knees begging God to help them. I never asked for myself but for them.
I begged and often cursed HIM badly in one breath.

We lost our home, car, money, all what had made our life until then and recently I lost my job as well because of economical reasons.
We started at ?Zero? and built up a new life. We don?t have much but we have all we need. We are able to save a few coins every month for our trip to the U.S., a dream we share and will be able to fulfil in about 2 or 3 years.
My sons are wonderful and strong young men now. Sometimes still fighting their demons as I also do but strong enough to go their own way.
Today I?m honorary working with abused kids and adults. Because I am a survivor and I KNOW!

Today I know it was the horrifying times I went through which made me strong. Strong enough to lead my children through their illness and hard times.
I know it wasn?t right to curse God because what happened was committed and made by men and not because of HIS will.
And so it is a story of joy finally. We?re doing fine. We?re having the best time of our life now. We learnt to live it consciously and to be content.
I do not hate people ? especially men ? and I didn?t end in embitterment. I love my life, I love to laugh and I?m curious what is still waiting for me around the next corner.
A lot to be grateful for.

And this is why I told this story, what I ask you:

1) Whatever it is you are going through, PLEASE, please, NEVER GIVE UP!

2) There is always a way out! It is always worth living this life and no matter how long it takes to get through pain and sorrow ? there is a way.

3) All you need is given to you while walking; strength, courage?but WALK?step by step and step!

4) Experience is not what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you!

5) Don?t say you can?t. I was nothing; no strength, no emotions, no self ? confidence, no courage ? and I did it though?and so can everybody, for sure!

I?ve experienced it all and I know it works!

My concern is ? I feel very exhausted at soul concerning my relationship to God. I can?t pray actually. I just can?t. So I need others praying for me. I had given up with God. But this is a very tricky thing?it never worked completely. I didn?t REALLY loose faith at all. I really wish to live in harmony with HIM again. Prayers are mighty ? will you?

Finally I?d like to say I never told these very personal experiences in public and I hesitated quite a while to do. But this thread is wonderful, started by a wonderful people with wonderful people posting. So I finally did. I thank you all!
And see, this is a joy again! smile.gif

Posted by: Elspeth 19-Mar-2004, 06:33 PM
God Bless you gaberlunzie for your courage. You are one remarkable woman. It is an honor to uphold you in prayer. We are here for you.

Posted by: maggiemahone1 19-Mar-2004, 06:59 PM
Oh gabby, you and your children have went thru so much and still you see light at the end of the tunnel. You have overcome by the Grace of God. His Grace is Sufficient.

IICorinthians Chapter 12 verse 9 King James Edition

And he said unto me,My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

maggiemahone1

Posted by: tsargent62 20-Mar-2004, 11:43 AM
Gabs, thank you so very much for sharing your story with us. I hope that you were helped by sharing it. I know that it helps me to talk about things. Just wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a hug for me. I will pray for you and your children. May God bless you and yours.

Todd

Posted by: gaberlunzie 20-Mar-2004, 12:17 PM
I thank you all so much. I feel deeply moved by your words and by your readiness to include my family and me in your prayers!
I KNOW God loves me. I KNOW he has been with me, especially in my darkest moments. But to know and to feel something is quite a different thing. My soul is tired out.
I believe in the might of prayers and so I thank you from my deepest heart for your words, hugs and prayers! smile.gif

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 20-Mar-2004, 03:16 PM
Gaberlunzie,

I've shed tears upon reading your story this Saturday afternoon... my selfish thoughts & minute complaints evaporate at the knowledge of what a terrible thing you've endured. I know a woman who was a childhood victim of incest and at the age of 58 she has just now gotten past the rage and the resentment towards both her father and to the few family members who she told what was happening but did not believe her. I thank God that she has come this far without killing herself; it was a genuine concern not that long ago. These kinds of emotional wounds run very deep, and are very slow to heal.

I am so proud of you for that list of things learned at the end of your post. You are indeed a survivor, you are someone whose story will give strength to others. If there is anything positive to come from the heartache you've endured, it is that those who read this who find themselves in a similiar situation will know that it is possible to come through the trial.

My prayer for you is that God will do for you what He did for me: let you see that all around you there is evidence of His love for you. Relax, stop trying to find the strength to pray the right way... just sit still awhile, breathe deeply, be quiet and wait for Him to speak... prayer is a dialogue, prayer is hearing as well as asking sometimes, and some of the most awesome experiences I have ever had have been when I listened. Sometimes God is actually waiting for us to slow down long enough to hear Him!
How proud the Father is of you right now, for having the courage to share with us this traumatic story of yours. Thank you.

Posted by: CelticRose 20-Mar-2004, 06:01 PM
Oh, Gabby! Thank you for having the courage to share! I know this must have been very difficult for you. What all Siobhan said I could not share any better. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You have overcome some pretty strong and horrible experiences. And you anger towards God is very common and natural, but He was probably there for you more than you know. Hard for people to believe, I know. He made you strong and a source of strength for your children for a reason.........which says to me He is in control of your life. Unfortunately, bad things happen to good people. It is just part of living in this world that exists of both evil and good. You take care and I am here if you want to talk. hug.gif

Posted by: gaberlunzie 21-Mar-2004, 05:29 AM
Siobhan, thank you so much for taking interest!
I didn't want anyone to shed tears, not out of pity at least. I mean to know yours were meant a touch different. Thank you.
It's a "happy end - story" . You are right; I posted it to share but also as a sort of encouragement. You know when I spoke about that "something" I felt at the point of my life I meant as a point of no return - it was God who was with me. It wasn't my own strength because I had none left...it was GIVEN to me.

Rose, you are right, he has been with me much more often than I realised. And still is.

I wish I had the words to express what I'm feeling knowing to be in your thoughts and prayers, all of you wonderful folk!
You know when it turned out good for me, giving sense to what happened to me? When I stopped asking the big "WHY" and asked "what FOR" instead.

So much changed in my life and I can feel it is given a certain direction. I'm not able to see where to go yet - and this is what I had to ask HIM, to show me the way. If I only could. Isn't it strange? I crossed a hughe mountain just to stumle over a piece of stone and get stucked...not able to manage it!

Thank you for your advice, Siobhan. I will try to calm down, to sit still and to try to LISTEN. I wish so urgently to feel HIS peace again. To FEEL HIM again. But perhaps I should stop thinking of what I WANT but to LISTEN to what HE wants me to do.

I thank you all so much!

Posted by: CelticRose 21-Mar-2004, 06:12 AM
Gabby, just take one day at a time! That is all we are asked to do anyway and NO more.

Posted by: gaberlunzie 21-Mar-2004, 06:31 AM
You're certainly right, Rose. I've been able to do it for quite a time before I started pondering again what will be tomorrow...and the day after tomorrow...
You know, it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm bringing up my sons all alone for quite a while now and that it is not easy to decide all family affairs and things concerning their future all alone as well.
But you're right, I know! Thank you, dear. smile.gif

Posted by: Elspeth 21-Mar-2004, 04:43 PM
gaberlunzie,

Siobhan toouched on a verse that has been popping into my head for months now. Be still and know that I am God. There are those times of 'dry bones' (Ezekial?) where all we can do is hang on. There is no shame in that. It is in those times we are remade.

It is hard deciding what is best for a family alone. I seem to have to do that as well more often than not.

I wrote a song I want to share here. It came from my heart, but I think you have been there as well.

Elspeth


One night I lay down my head
But sleep would not come
Weighed down by sorrows and brokenness
And all my life had become

But in the depths of my darkness
I felt a warm, sweet peace
The tender, still soft voice of comfort
Proclaiming Love that will never cease

Be Still and Know That I Am God
Your heart is breaking and still you don?t come
My arms are open, my heart is longing
I?m standing right at your door


Come to Me, He cried, come to Me
I want so much to bless you
Let go of all the hurts inside
Only I can remake you anew

Be Still and Know That I Am God
Your heart is breaking and still you don?t come
My arms are open, my heart is longing
I?m standing right at your door




Posted by: CelticRose 21-Mar-2004, 06:55 PM
Beautiful song, Elspeth! Thank you for sharing it with us! thumbs_up.gif

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 22-Mar-2004, 08:30 AM
Ah, that's nice Elspeth! Thank you for sharing with us.
I hope that all of us will have a good week, and will be able to step over those stones that try to trip us up.

Siobhan Blues

Posted by: Elspeth 22-Mar-2004, 08:44 AM
Yes, Siobhan, I wish the same.

I'd like to thank God for friends. smile.gif

That sounds so lame - the words are way over used - but it has been a very long time since I have had people in my life I consider friends, people who really want to know the strange person that is me, who are there for me and care enough to be honest with me. I have always been a loner when it comes to deep thought and feelings so to have people I can share with is a wonderfully novel experience.


Posted by: kelaorqu 22-Mar-2004, 09:56 AM
Wow. A lot has happened in the few days I've been away. Gabby, you have such an incredible story that makes me feel like I have nothing to worry about in my life. Thank you for having the courage to share it. I am at school right now and everyones posts made me have tears in my eyes! The people around me are probably wondering what is going on... smile.gif I look up to your strength and will continue praying that you would find continued courage and peace with God. Even when you don't feel Him, He is still there and sometimes you don't realize it until later. I always loved the verse from Isaiah 40.

"Those that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They will fly on wings of an eagle. They will walk and not grow weary, they will run and not faint." (maybe not exact, I don't have a Bible on me!) When things get over my head i take strength from that verse.

Elspeth, your song is beautiful, I don't know what else to say. Thanks for sharing it... and i know what you mean. A lot of my friendships are very superficial - they don't know who I really am. I'm glad that I can feel comfortable sharing that here, knowing that people listen and pray. It's really encouraging in the every day walk with God.

God bless you all!

Posted by: gaberlunzie 22-Mar-2004, 10:49 AM
I HAVE to say some personal words to everyone of you now:

Maggie; your quote of ""Corinthian...It reminded me of a song we used to sing at church in my youth - and it sticks in my head since then. I had forgotten about it - but it IS HIS GRACE which carried me through all...thank you so much!

Todd; it is more than unusual that a man responds to this kind of story and "occurences". You're one of a hundred or thousand, my friend, and I thank you so much for your kind words and the hug!

Elspeth; what can I say? I thank you so much for your concern, for your encouragement. The song is beautiful and I love the refrain...have it always on my mind!
I know what you say about friends and sharing deep thoughts and feelings...There are many "fair weather friends" in one's life and very, very few who really deserve it to be called "friend". I do not use this word often and very carefully.

Siobhan, thank you once agaon for your words which brought tears to my eyes, and your wonderful advice!

Rose, I'd like to thank you again for your support and understanding!

kelaorgu; thank you for your words and prayers!

All of you; what ekse can I say...see, Elspeth, I alo feel it is lame to say "thank you" and not to have other words to express the feelings towards you all.

Now, some days after having posted, I feel better, much more comfortable. I really worried about who might read it and NOT understand, NOT agree withit or what the one or other might think about me now...this has been very difficult.
I'm no longer afraid but grateful.
Thank you again and again for your support and prayers! smile.gif

gaberlunzie

Posted by: CelticRose 25-Mar-2004, 09:38 PM
Would appreciate everybody's prayers and support. I am leaving in the morning (Friday) to drive 6 hours to California because my mother is back in the hospital and not doing well. My sister, who was doing well last week, is freaking out today , so I feel the need to be there now. I should get there mid-day and hopefully be of some help. I am NOT good with sick people at all! I am a real dope! I either do too much or not enough and aggravate the patient! So pray for me to have wisdom to know that to do and when and how to care for my mother. Also pray for a safe trip there and back. I hope to only be gone a week as my husband does not do well alone. Will have to play all that by ear!

Thanks everybody! Really appreciate it! smile.gif See you when I get back.

Posted by: gaberlunzie 26-Mar-2004, 05:58 AM
Rose, I'm sorry to hear that!
Don't worry. You will do the right. The thoughts one has before are the really difficult thing. But then you'll know what to do and how to do and you'll do it.
You and your family are in my thoughts.
Stay safe!

Posted by: andylucy 26-Mar-2004, 06:11 AM
Rose, I am sorry to hear about your mother. I will pray that you have a safe journey and that your mother has a speedy recovery.

Don't worry so much about what to do. Just do what your heart tells you to do, and you probably won't go far wrong based on what I've seen of you around here.

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 26-Mar-2004, 02:15 PM
QUOTE (Elspeth @ Mar 22 2004, 09:44 AM)
... it has been a very long time since I have had people in my life I consider friends, people who really want to know the strange person that is me, who are there for me and care enough to be honest with me. I have always been a loner when it comes to deep thought and feelings so to have people I can share with is a wonderfully novel experience.

I'm a loner too when it comes to deepest thoughts; I bet others here are too...

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 27-Mar-2004, 07:40 PM
Well, I'm late in responding to this thread. I read over everyone's posts and I don't feel alone with my own problems.

Elspeth, I know we've talked before about this, but I don't think I've ever told you that my father, his father, and my grandmother on my mother's side were all acoholics. As a child, it was hard on me. My father was a functioning acoholic as well, but privately it was hell. Every Christmas Eve he got so drunk, and one time even past out. I can remember never being able to bare my heart or true feelings to my daddy. This profoundly affected how I dealt with stress as I grew into an adult. I became a master-surpresser. I learned how to stuff all my feelings down deep inside, all the while thinking I was over any problems as soon as they arose. I guess this is when writing and poetry became my outlit and salvation (besides the Lord). There are no easy answers, but the Lord can reveal His will and guidance to you. Just seek His presence and heart. I will keep praying for you and your family. Stay strong! I'm here if you ever need to talk.

Rose,

I will be praying for your mother and for your whole family. May God give you all peace and strength to walk through this season, and May the Lord send healing in His wings.

Love,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: Elspeth 29-Mar-2004, 09:50 AM
Good morning!

First, has anyone heard how Rose's mother (and Rose) are doing?

Second, and I stop numbering here. I would like to ask to be kept in your prayers for I am at a place where I am beginning to push my husband pretty hard about quitting drinking. I am considering calling in the assistance of a couple of his friends and maybe even his father. Though he and his father do not have a good relationship. He was an alcoholic himself until a some years ago. Probably is still emotionally even though he quit drinking. So, I am in need of guidance, stanmina, discernment, support - you know - all the good stuff.

I also have been struggling with letting something go that I really need to let go of, but just can't seem to. It is one of those poisonous things that really has got to go. It makes me very anxious and fearful and ruins my days.

Lastly, I have begun sending some of my writing out. I have sent out my poem Merriemnt that I posted some time ago (already rejected). I've sent out a funny story to Reader's Digest, a story to Guideposts and will in the next day or two send a story into a contest.

Posted by: gaberlunzie 29-Mar-2004, 10:28 AM
Elspeth;
it is a hard way you will have to go. I understand in the way that my sister is an alcoholic. She quit drinking after a very hard time.
For that and all you are carrying with you...you are always in my thoughts - and in my prayers. I'm able to talk to Our Lord again and I will do!
Whenever you want to talk, to ask anything, just to get a hug and an open ear...whatever...I'll be there.
May He hold his hand over you.
May I give you a hug?

Gabby

Posted by: tsargent62 29-Mar-2004, 12:59 PM
Elspeth,

I remember when my mom quit drinking. She fell off the wagon a few times. AA was there for her. They would do a "12 Step Call", meaning her sponsor and anyone else that could would come to our house and talk with her. It worked.

You're in my prayers every day. Knowing what you're about to go through I'll pray even harder. I am always amazed that even with what you go through every day you still seem like such a warm, fun loving person. I pray that God will bless you with the strength you need and your husband with the wisdom he needs to quit drinking.

God Bless and big hugs.

Posted by: tsargent62 29-Mar-2004, 01:11 PM
My friends, I need to talk. This past weekend, my wife was diagnosed wih tuberculosis. I haven't told anyone here yet because all tests aren't back yet. That and I'm dreading how people will react. I'm being tested tomorrow, so I'll know by this weekend if I'm carrying it, too. Maria's not showing any symptoms, so it's possible she's only a carrier, but we won't know until the radiologist gets a chance to read the chest X-ray. She's really freaking out, and I can't blame her. This is life changing event.

Maria runs a day care out of our home. As part of renewing her license, she and anyone in the house over 14 has to be tested for TB. Well, now she won't be able to renew her license. And she is going to have to tell her day care parents. I wouldn't blame anyone for pulling their child out immediately. My sense is that she got it from one of the kids. She is in very close contact with them, wiping runny noses, being sneezed and coughed on.

It's funny. The full weight of this didn't really come home to me until I started writing this. I'm scared. We're all scared. It was weird to actually type the word "tuberculosis". Especially when it applies to the love of my life. I could really use some prayers and some hugs.

I love you guys. Thanks for listening.
Todd

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 29-Mar-2004, 02:57 PM
tsargent62,

I will be praying for you and your wife everyday. I pray that the Lord will give you both the Peace that surpasses all human understanding, and I pray that Lord Jesus will send His healing virtue to you both. Sometimes words seem so empty, but all I can say is Hope in Lord, Look to Him, and trust in Him. Different times in my life when I thought the bottom was falling out, the Lord was right there carrying me. I look back and I can see His divine will and love shaping my path and leading me to where I am today. At the time, I didn't think I was going to be able to cope, but I made it through and came out stronger.

If you need to talk or want me to pray PM me anytime.
Big Prayers and Hugs,
Roisin

Posted by: gaberlunzie 29-Mar-2004, 04:15 PM
Todd:

oh my, it's a lot you have to deal with. First the problem with your job. Now this - much more important, I guess. Another change.
But the thing that really counts is that you fear for Maria and you have to fear for yourself, too.
I know how hard it is. For today's modern medicine it is no problem to heal tuberculosis. It's scaring though...
I will certainly pray for both of you. You'll be in my thoughts, always.
I'm here if you need someone to talk. Don't hesitate to pm me whenever you think you'd like to do.
Our Father is always with you. I'm praying for the strength and confidence you need.
A big, big hug for you, my friend and for Maria.

Gabby

Posted by: Elspeth 29-Mar-2004, 06:14 PM
Todd,

Wow, I don't know what to say other than to say I will pray for you, your wife and your family. I didn't even know TB was still out there with all the imunizations.

If it is a comfort at all, my grandfather had TB back in the 50's, way before the miracles of modern medicine and he recovered, living almost to 90.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillippians 4:6&7

May God grant you and your wife, as well as all your family that peace. And may he grant healing.

Elspeth


Posted by: elly 29-Mar-2004, 10:00 PM
QUOTE (gaberlunzie @ Mar 20 2004, 11:29 AM)
I’m going to post a really LONG post, so don’t say you have not been warned! You all know that English isn’t my first language , so please, don’t mind a clumsy style or mistakes…thank you!
It wasn’t a careless decision to write down this story. It is a story of horror and pain as well as hope and joy.
Reading this thread has been very helpful for me. Yes, I am one of those Elspeth asked you to pray for, those who feel not comfortable enough posting very personal things. It worked. Really. I felt so terribly empty and lost – and now I’m gaining hope again!
I hope my story might encourage someone who is possibly fighting the hardest fight in his life – to continue fighting. Why? Because there is always a way out for those who really WANT it.

Now, this is a survivor’s story.

I was born in a very small village, where I grew up the first few years of my life in a wonderful, loud and warm – hearted family with parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and my granny, this woman with the most loving heart of all. It was like paradise and I was the happiest child on earth. I still have this warm and happy feeling only by remembering those five years.
Then all changed all of a sudden, over night – completely unexpected for me – my parents whom I both loved dearly separated. My Mum and me moved to another county, about 600 miles away…with the man my Mum had fallen in love with.
I felt totally uprooted. Nobody explained me why this all happened…probably my Mum couldn’t as she had to manage her own life now.
My brother and my sister were born. I loved them and still do.
I was never allowed to see or to speak about my Dad again. I missed him so much – but I wasn’t asked. I just had to obey.
All in all we had a life not too bad at all. I’ve always been “this other man’s child” for my step – father which was hard to live with. There wasn’t anyone I could have talked about my concerns, so I learnt to get along alone very early in my life.

It happened when I was 12 years old. The “Unspeakable” which nearly killed me. From this date until the age of 19 I had been sexually abused by my step – father.
I do not want to go into details. Just that I had been an unsuspecting child at the age of 12. Scared to death – I was helpless.
I knew my Mum loved that man. She never was a strong woman. And my brother and my sister…they were so young and innocent. I loved them all so much. I couldn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t tell and destroy this family. Their future. So I decided to be the only victim in the family. To be silent.
I felt guilty. Something had to be wrong with me because this happened to me. I felt guilty because I couldn’t defend myself against that man…
My soul was dying, piece by piece. I became speechless. I was sure some of my relatives knew what was going on but they all closed their eyes, turned away because “it couldn’t be what shouldn’t be”…
When I stood nearby the railroad tracks ready to jump when the train approached because I couldn’t bear it all any longer, absolutely without a spark of hope or strength, I felt this “something”…I can’t describe it…all of a sudden.
I thought there was nothing left at all – but it WAS! I decided to be a survivor! Though I knew I would have to suffer the more I decided to fight. I knew it would be like walking on a sword’s blade with naked feet, cutting my feet painfully by each step – but I never stopped walking since. “It is MY life and I don’t give it away – I’ll survive !”
It worked though it took me years.

Years later I got married. Loved – what an indescribable feeling. What a joy to be able to FEEL again!
My children were born – purest joy and happiness!
15 years later my husband left the family over night (literally) to live with another woman. My whole life broke down once again. My children were scared – and became sick. Mentally ill. They both tried to commit suicide – I found them in the very last second.
We managed it. We crossed an ocean of tears, pain and despair to the shores of hope, confidence, strength and love.
The worst pain I ever felt in my life was to see my children so much in pain and suffering so badly. During this time I often lay on my knees begging God to help them. I never asked for myself but for them.
I begged and often cursed HIM badly in one breath.

We lost our home, car, money, all what had made our life until then and recently I lost my job as well because of economical reasons.
We started at “Zero” and built up a new life. We don’t have much but we have all we need. We are able to save a few coins every month for our trip to the U.S., a dream we share and will be able to fulfil in about 2 or 3 years.
My sons are wonderful and strong young men now. Sometimes still fighting their demons as I also do but strong enough to go their own way.
Today I’m honorary working with abused kids and adults. Because I am a survivor and I KNOW!

Today I know it was the horrifying times I went through which made me strong. Strong enough to lead my children through their illness and hard times.
I know it wasn’t right to curse God because what happened was committed and made by men and not because of HIS will.
And so it is a story of joy finally. We’re doing fine. We’re having the best time of our life now. We learnt to live it consciously and to be content.
I do not hate people – especially men – and I didn’t end in embitterment. I love my life, I love to laugh and I’m curious what is still waiting for me around the next corner.
A lot to be grateful for.

And this is why I told this story, what I ask you:

1) Whatever it is you are going through, PLEASE, please, NEVER GIVE UP!

2) There is always a way out! It is always worth living this life and no matter how long it takes to get through pain and sorrow – there is a way.

3) All you need is given to you while walking; strength, courage…but WALK…step by step and step!

4) Experience is not what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you!

5) Don’t say you can’t. I was nothing; no strength, no emotions, no self – confidence, no courage – and I did it though…and so can everybody, for sure!

I’ve experienced it all and I know it works!

My concern is – I feel very exhausted at soul concerning my relationship to God. I can’t pray actually. I just can’t. So I need others praying for me. I had given up with God. But this is a very tricky thing…it never worked completely. I didn’t REALLY loose faith at all. I really wish to live in harmony with HIM again. Prayers are mighty – will you?

Finally I’d like to say I never told these very personal experiences in public and I hesitated quite a while to do. But this thread is wonderful, started by a wonderful people with wonderful people posting. So I finally did. I thank you all!
And see, this is a joy again! smile.gif


Hi Gabby, I do admire you for being able to put such a personal episode on a forum. biggrin.gif I take my hat off to you, that you have managed to beat this, and accept your mother today. Absolutely amazing forgiveness biggrin.gif god bless you, your friend, Elly angel_not.gif

Posted by: andylucy 29-Mar-2004, 11:17 PM
Todd,

Yes, TB can be very scary. I have had to face it several times as an EMT, but always managed to come away uninfected (even after giving rescue breathing to an infected person with no mask or protective equipment- God was with me). Several of my mates have not been so fortunate, though. TB is totally curable, if caught early. The treatment takes about 6 months total, but it IS treatable. Your wife will never be able to have a scratch test again, as she will react very strongly to the antigen. She will have to have a chest x-ray every year. But the days of the TB sanitarium are over. Just make sure she finishes the course of therapy. If she doesn't, the bacteria will mutate and the medication will be much less effective the second time around.

It is a stressful period. It is very frightening. It will be hard on both of you. But the Lord will see you through. I will be praying to St. Therese of Lisieux to intercede for you my friend.

O Little Flower of Jesus, ever consoling troubled souls with heavenly graces, in your unfailing intercession I place my trust. From the Heart of Our Blessed Savior petition for the healing of Maria of tuberculosis and for Todd to have the strength to assist her in her healing. Shower upon her your promised roses of virtue and grace, dear Saint Therese, so that swiftly advancing in sanctity and in perfect love of neighbor, she may someday receive the crown of eternal life. Amen.

Posted by: tsargent62 30-Mar-2004, 07:36 AM
Dear Friends,

Thank you so much for your prayers, support, love and hugs. You've helped me have more of a sense of peace about this situation. The Lord has always taken care of my family and I know He will continue to do so. Especially when I have my friends praying for us. I can't remember what book or verse this is: "Where 2 or 3 gather in my name, I will be among you."

It is wonderful to know I can count on you when I need you.

Todd

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 30-Mar-2004, 02:01 PM
Todd, I've just now read about your wife's diagnosis - I am so so sorry this has happened, and it makes my heart ache thinking that not only is she seriously ill but this is going to cost her the daycare business as well. My prayers are going out for a full recovery for her,and for you as well to have strength during these days.

Strange thing, just last week we got a letter from my daughter's high school informing us that a student had been diagnosed with TB and that if our girl was exposed to it we would receive further notification. She was not exposed to the disease, thank heavens, but there were a lot of kids and teachers too who now have to be tested. I thought TB wasn't around any more! Was I ever wrong.

You let us know what happens, okay?? We care!

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 30-Mar-2004, 02:07 PM
QUOTE (Elspeth @ Mar 29 2004, 10:50 AM)
...has anyone heard how Rose's mother (and Rose) are doing?

I haven't heard a thing, but this is serious stuff. Its going to be a difficult time for our Rose, so please pray for her and her mother.

S.

Posted by: CelticRose 30-Mar-2004, 03:10 PM
Hello everyone! I just got home a couple hours ago from CA. Thank you so much for your prayers, concern, and the privates messages I got! Wow! Thank you!

I came home early as mother was put into a rehab center the Friday morning I got there. Sis and I got a lot accomplished these past 5 days and because my mother is doing so well and they are keeping her so busy at the rehab center, there was no reason for me to sit around there all day anymore. so I came home to take care of a lonely hubby and sulking dogs for a few days or hopefully a week or two when I know my mother is going to be released and sent home and need me more. My mother was pretty pitiful, but feel confident she is in good hands now and my sis is a whole lot calmer too! smile.gif

Many thanks to all of you, my friends! hug.gif

Well I have much catching up to do! biggrin.gif

Posted by: tsargent62 31-Mar-2004, 08:26 AM
Welcome back, Rose! I'm glad things went well and your mom's doing okay.

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 31-Mar-2004, 08:44 AM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ Mar 30 2004, 04:10 PM)
Hello everyone! I just got home a couple hours ago from CA. Thank you so much for your prayers, concern, and the privates messages I got! Wow! Thank you!

I came home early as mother was put into a rehab center the Friday morning I got there....

unsure.gif Ooh - you scared me there, posting so early in the week; I didn't think we'd see you here so soon!

But I am delighted to hear your mom is doing so well, CR - that is great news indeed. I hope her health continues to improve.


Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 31-Mar-2004, 09:57 AM
Rose, Glad to see everything is better and that your mother is in capable hands. We were all so concerned. You seem in good spirits too. I missed you dear. Welcome back!

Yours,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: Elspeth 01-Apr-2004, 05:00 AM
Welcome back Rose!

Glad to hear your mother is doing well and you and your sister got those pesky details taken care of.

Todd, how are things going for you?

To everyone who's posted here, keep us updated!

Elspeth

Posted by: CelticRose 01-Apr-2004, 01:02 PM
Thanks everybody for your kind words. Mother is still having some complications and sister is home sick today with two migraines and here I sit on my computer relaxing...........the bad daughter. unsure.gif

How is everyone else doing and what is new?

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 01-Apr-2004, 02:15 PM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ Apr 1 2004, 01:02 PM)
Thanks everybody for your kind words. Mother is still having some complications and sister is home sick today with two migraines and here I sit on my computer relaxing...........the bad daughter. unsure.gif

How is everyone else doing and what is new?

Your not the bad daughter...just the smart daughter. tongue.gif wink.gif

Posted by: tsargent62 01-Apr-2004, 02:41 PM
Well, there's a bit of an update on my family's tuberculosis situation. It's not medically confirmed, but it looks like we're all carrying it. No one's coughing or showing symptoms. We just seem to be carrying the bacteria that causes it. We're going to see the doctor tomorrow to get our tests read. But, the area where they injected the test stuff looks just like my wife's, and she already came up positive. Thank God it's curable.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We'll get through it. It's just a comfort to know that while we can't really talk about it to people here at home yet, I can unburden myself on my CR friends. I thank God for that. If I hadn't found this forum this situation would be a lot harder to bear. Thanks, guys.

Todd

Posted by: CelticRose 01-Apr-2004, 02:57 PM
Oh goodness, Todd! TB is very curable and something that you either get or don't. don't stress yourself and I hope your family is not stressing either. Just not something anybody wants to have or deal with. Poor you and family! They have wonderful curable drugs out there for it and plenty of rest is necessary. Keep us posted and you will definitely be in my prayers. Keep us posted!

Posted by: Elspeth 02-Apr-2004, 05:31 AM
Todd, Talk here whenever you need to. And keep us posted.

Rose, dear, guilt is NOT one of the fruits of the spirit! smile.gif Don't compare yourself to your sister. We all have different jobs to do in life and within our families. Support your sister, but don't chastise yourself for not being the one who has the responsibility at this time.

On a personal note, I had two major disappointments yesterday. First, the story I posted here was rejected by Guideposts magazine. That was a tough one to take. One that makes me question if being a writer can be God's will for me if even a religious, mostly freelance written magazine rejects me. The second was that a minister that our congregational committee interviewed last weekend felt called to not come to our church, but instead stay where he is. This minister was the first pastor I have come across in my entire life that I thought I could actually be able to connect with in a real way. I needed him as my pastor. Needed it real bad. Not much light in a corridor of doors closed tight.

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 02-Apr-2004, 08:42 AM
Todd and Elspeth,

Do you remember who Corrie Tinboom is? She and her sister were Christians during WWII in Holland and working with the underground hid Jews from the Nazis. They were caught and thrown in a concentration camp. There is something God taught them through that experience and they would often say, "There is no pit that is too deep that Jesus is not deeper still." Even in the most depressing circumstances Jesus is there with us. He is our light in the darkness. Todd, I will continue to pray for your family.

Elspeth, I know how it feels to be rejected by magazines and publishing houses---it has happened a lot. Someone once told me when I complained out of a crushed heart, "Good, the more rejections the merry...use them to wall paper your wall in your office and use them for inspiration to work even harder. Rejections mean you are real writer---all writers have been rejected in one form or another." I don't know if this helps at all, but I hope in some way it encourages you to not give up on your writing!!

Posted by: CelticRose 02-Apr-2004, 12:49 PM
Elspeth, I feel for you. I have been rejected many times with my artwork. Just part of being in the field we're in, but that doesn't make it better. I know you must feel really hurt right now with the rejection from Guidepost and then the losing of the pastor. Remember when God closes one door, He always opens another. I know it is a cliche but one I have always found to be true.

Well update on me. I am off to California tomorrow for the week. I really don't want to go, dread that 6 hour drive again. Hate leaving my home and hubby. However, feel I need to be there when my mother is discharged from the hospital tomorrow. I think that if I am with her for this coming week to help her get her strength back, then she should continue to get better and can do for herself afterwards. But someone needs to be with her this week and sis needs to work and so I am it! Mother has a very strong will and fighting, independent spirit and would not ask for the help unless she felt she really needed it. So appreciate your prayers for a safe trip and that I can minister effectively to my mother and sister while there. Many thanks! You all will be in my prayers too!

Posted by: gaberlunzie 02-Apr-2004, 01:47 PM
Travel safe, Rose. And listen to your heart and you will do everything right. All the best for your Mum's healing.
My prayers will be with you.

Gabby

Posted by: tsargent62 02-Apr-2004, 07:56 PM
OK, I have an update for you. I guess this would classify as a joy. Actually it's a mixed bag.

The Good News: My entire family was put on TB specific antibiotics today. We'll be cured after taking them for 9 months.

The Bad News: I can't drink any alcohol while taking these. Both alcohol and this medication are hard on the liver. I was warned not to consume mass quantities. An occasional beer (only 1) on a special occasion like a birthday, okay. But that's about it. I know it shouldn't be a big issue, but I don't like being told I can't have something. Ya know?

Now we need to try to figure out how we got infected. It could be important because whoever infected us has active TB and could be infecting others. We suspect my mom. She's about to turn 81. She smoked for years. She coughs a lot, but we always attributed to smokers cough. I need to ask her to get tested, but I hate to. Oh, well, best I suck it up and take care of it.

My friends, thank you so much for your prayers and words of encouragement. In a social situation of this type it is quite extrordinary to get the type of care I've recieved from you. I love you all and am thankful that God brought me to CR. May God bless you all.

Posted by: tsargent62 02-Apr-2004, 07:58 PM
Rose, I don't know if you'll get this before you leave for California, but I will pray for your safe travel and that God will help you minister to both your mother and your sister. God speed!

Posted by: CelticRose 02-Apr-2004, 08:46 PM
Thank you Todd for your well wishes and safe travel! I so wanted hubby to buy me a lap top before I left but he was very uncooperative.... laugh.gif Well we have a huge tax bill to pay on April 15 and that is on his mind. That is what you get for being in business for yourself.

Hmmm, if you contracted TB from your mom, then she definitely needs to be tested and treated! when my mother was in the hospital all this time they tested her for TB also and thankfully it was negative. It is a long time to be on meds, but you all will be okay. sorry you can't have the occasional beer! That would bother me too! laugh.gif

I will be praying for you all while I am driving to California tomorrow! The best thing about driving a long trip. biggrin.gif You all take care and see you soon!

Posted by: Elspeth 02-Apr-2004, 11:42 PM
Todd,

Glad to hear something is being done for the TB. Sometimes an action of any kind is better than just waiting. I will remember you in all your difficulties. Being married to an alcoholic, I don't relate well to not wanting to give up beer, but try substituting it with something else. For every beer you don't get to drink, put a dollar in a jar. At the end of the nine months do something really fun with the money. Or create your own substitution.

Rose, I pray for your safe travels and for all the angst that goes along with the situation you are entereing into. I pray this will be a bonding time with your mother in a positive way.

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. Yeah, I've got lots of rejections. It is just the Christian rejections are harder to take. I have a great deal of difficulty with the belief that windows are opened for me when doors are closed. All my life long that has not been the case. I know there is some meaning in that, but I've yet to find it.

Posted by: gaberlunzie 03-Apr-2004, 04:22 AM
Todd,

oh man, how I'm glad!
Nine months are a long time but time goes by and you all will be cured.
Yes, those meds are really hardon the liver. So it is reasonable to try to et and drink "healthy" in order not to stress the liver in addition.
Oh, I understand it's hard to be told that you MUST NOT drink alcohol! I mean there are times you wouldn't even think of drinking it yourself. And it is not the end of the world not to drink alcohol for a couple of months - but if it's not your own choice but TOLD you, it's harder the more...odd but true...
I think, Elspeth's advice to substitute it is a good one.
However, you started to be cured and that's a wonderfully good news!

Well, about your Mum...I know it's not easy to tell her that she has to be tested but it is urgently necessary!

Good luck for all - I'll keep you in my prayers.


Posted by: gaberlunzie 03-Apr-2004, 04:28 AM
QUOTE (Elspeth @ Apr 3 2004, 12:42 AM)



Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. Yeah, I've got lots of rejections. It is just the Christian rejections are harder to take. I have a great deal of difficulty with the belief that windows are opened for me when doors are closed. All my life long that has not been the case. I know there is some meaning in that, but I've yet to find it.

Elspeth;

there is so much I would like to dress in words but I still can't grab them!
But I understand your thoughts nd feelings so very well and so I just want to let you know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: kelaorqu 05-Apr-2004, 05:47 PM
Hey everyone
This past weekend I was in Toronto on a Choir Tour. On Saturday we did service work at a second-hand clothing store (for a Street Mission) and at night we went on a street walk with various people who had lived on the street before. It had a huge impact on me, I can't even imagine! The stories of the people who led us around were horrible and i felt so selfish and greedy
I would just ask that you would pray for my leader, whose name was Duval. I won't tell you everything about him except that his life on the street and even now is heartbreaking. He is dying of AIDs and there is a lot of pain in his life. The things that he has to deal with make our day to day problems seem like nothing. It's just a whole different world, full of abuse, abandonment, violence and drugs. I would also ask that you pray for all the others that I saw, people that have absolutely no hope at all. While you are at it, thank God for everything you have - thank him for the roof over your head, food, a bed, family, the list goes on and on.

Posted by: tsargent62 08-Apr-2004, 08:11 AM
Have good news to report. Thank, God, my mother does <u>not</u> have TB. I'm so relieved. However, that still leaves someone out there who is spreading it. Someone my entire family had contact with. Be that as it may, I'm so happy my mom is clear. And after 9 months of antibiotics the rest of us will be, too.

Again, thank you all for being so loving and supportive. Your words, thoughts, prayers and hugs have meant a lot to me.

Todd

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 08-Apr-2004, 10:36 AM
Great News!!! Praise God! I'm so glad your mother was clear. I just pray that they find who is spreading it (TB). I also hope 9 months passes quickly for your whole family. Keep us posted.

Posted by: Elspeth 09-Apr-2004, 08:34 AM
Todd,

That's wonderful about your mother.

How's everything else going? Has it been difficult telling people or easier than you feared? You'll get through it all and we're here for you.

Prayers and hugs
Elspeth

Posted by: tsargent62 09-Apr-2004, 11:49 AM
Hi, Elspeth!

Things are going alright. Since we're just carrying the bacteria that causes the disease and are on antibiotics we're not contagious, so we didn't find it necessary to tell anyone outside our circle of friends and family. Our fears are gone now that we're better informed. We just wish we could figure out where we got this from. We had to have been in contact with someone with active TB for an extended period of time. All 5 of us.

BTW: When I wrote saying I was bummed about having to give up beer for this I probably overstated a bit. I like to have 1 or 2 a week, never to excess, and just don't like to be told I can't have something. It's not a big problem. Believe me, with my mother's history, and indeed a seemingly genetic disposition for alcoholisim my family, I will never make giving up beer that big of an issue.

Thanks for your thoughts, prayers and hugs. I can always use them.

How's it going for you? I think and pray about you and your situation a lot.

Todd

Posted by: Elspeth 10-Apr-2004, 07:48 AM
Todd,

I am so glad things are going better for you. Information almost always calms those icky fears, doesn't it? That is a poser, to find who you contacted it from. I never realized TB was still an active condition in the US. My grandfather had it back in the 50's, but I thought it had been basically eradicated.

Thank you so much for remembering me in your prayers. The best I can describe my situation is stirred. Things are stirred up and that makes it uncomfortable, but that is the precurser to all change and I'm confident we will end up on a slightly higher plane. My husband actually talked to the doctor about going to a re-hab hospital. That's a step.
I started getting panic attacks last weekend and that was the last straw for me. I finally went to the doctor, first to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack and second to get a perscription for an anti-depressent. Something I didn't realize how much I needed until I started taking it. It's still making me a bit woozy, but the absence of easily induced sheer paniced fear makes it more than worth it.

Elspeth

Posted by: gaberlunzie 10-Apr-2004, 12:57 PM
Elspeth,

when my sons were so seriously ill and I didn't know if they got healthy anymore I also had to visit the doctor and I got a prescription for these pills. I didn't want to take them but like you I had these terrible panic attacks and couldn't help myself anymore. He told me there are situations one needs this help. And there is nothing bad about it as long as one handles it with responsibility. He was right.
I'm glad you did this step. You will be able to bear the whole situation better now.

I'm thinking a lot of you and I felt you have a very hard time now. You are always in my thoughts and prayers . If you want to talk, write me.

Todd,

I'm glad it worked out rather good for you and your family! When this year is over you all will be cured...really good news. Praise the Lord!

Posted by: CelticRose 10-Apr-2004, 03:19 PM
Hello everyone! I am back home as of early this morning! Yippee! No place like home, eh? Hubby and dogs were glad to see me! I was pretty glad to see them too!

Well, it was a very eventful trip to California. My mother is very ill and even had another variant of a stroke of which they call a TIA (transient ischemic attack) and we had to take her back to the hospital. She is out now and home and stable. Doctor told us that she would continue to get worse in many ways and there will come a time when me and my sister will have to make some major decisions for her futurecare. We got her a wheelchair, home health care and a home visiting doctor and then my sis is looking into some other things. Anything to keep her from going into a nursing home. My sis wants to keep her home and take care of her, but it is very hard on her too as she has an awful lot of responsibility upon her. And here I sit a state away, being able to be away from all the everydays of caring for mother. Well, we all come to this with our families and ourselves eventually, don't we?

so how is everyone else? I prayed for you all on my trip to California.

Todd, glad to hear the good news about your mother. Hope you and your family are doing well.

Elspeth! I worked in the medical field for about 30 years and I have to tell you that over 50 million people in this country are on anti-anxiety or anti-depression drugs. So don't worry about it. You do what you have to do and you take care of yourself and you are in my prayers too.......... as you all are.

Thank you all for your support, encouragement, PM's and prayers!

Happy to be back home! I missed you all.

Posted by: gaberlunzie 10-Apr-2004, 04:08 PM
Hello, Rose;

I'm so glad your back. I've missed you, girl! Glad you travelled safe.
Your mother is home and stable. This is what counts at the moment...
Have peaceful Easter Days !


Posted by: CelticRose 10-Apr-2004, 04:54 PM
Hi Gabby! Thank you so very much! I hope that things are very well for you.

Thank you for your prayers and concern.

Posted by: RobertH 10-Apr-2004, 06:16 PM
All -

Please add James, the son of a good friend of mine, in your prayers. He's been in trouble for driving too fast more than once, and now he's recently had an accident that's left him in a coma. His father is dealing with all of this as best he can, but I know it's a challenge to his family and his faith.

Posted by: CelticRose 10-Apr-2004, 06:37 PM
Will do so Robert! Thanks for sharing with us.

Posted by: tsargent62 11-Apr-2004, 12:01 AM
Rose, so glad you made back safely. I'm glad your mother is stable.

Robert, I will definitely keep your friend and his family in my prayers.

Elspeth, I praise God that your husband has consented to try rehab. I've been praying for that. I pray it works. You and your family deserve to be happy. I know that if your husband licks his addiction that he will be happier as well.

I understand your anxiety and depression. I've suffered from depression all my life. Sometimes worse than others. It stems from my experiences with my ADD. Different cause, same result. I'm glad the anti-depressants are working.

You know what I do when I'm feeling really anxious, depressed, guilty or what ever is bringing me low? I ask God for a hug. Try it. Right now.

"Heavenly Father, I could really use a hug about now. May I have one, please?"

It is a wonderful feeling. I can feel God's arms around me right now. Throw one in from me for good measure, all of you.

Todd

Posted by: tsargent62 11-Apr-2004, 12:02 AM
Elspeth,

Interesting what you said about TB. I worked with someone who's husband had it several years ago. I've tested clean in the time in between until now, so I didn't get it from her. When we tested positive, we were referred to our county's Department of Public Health. They told us that most of the active TB is outside the US, mostly in developing countries. Roughly 2 million people a year die from it. So, it isn't a huge problem in the US, but it is still a problem.


Todd

Posted by: Elspeth 12-Apr-2004, 04:50 AM
Hello all!

Robert - I will indeed remember your friend's son and the family in my prayers. That must be so difficult. I don't even want to imagine what they are going through.

Rose, I'm glad you're back home but sorry you will be dealing with your mother's failing health and care issues.

Todd, unfortuneately my husband decided he's not ready yet to take the step to quit drinking. At least he's gotten information and has been forced to consider it. In all honesty, I don't see him ever quitting. I know I should be praying for him, but as gabby can attest, there are times and things for which you can just no longer pray.

I actually don't feel too weird about taking the anti-depressants. Taking them has made me realize I should have done this years ago. However, taking away most of the fear it does raise some issues like what the heck am I supposed to be doing with my life.

Thanks you one and all for you love and support. I don't know where I would be right now if not for the concern of my cyber friends.

I hope everyone had a blessed Easter.

Elspeth

Posted by: CelticRose 12-Apr-2004, 06:31 AM
Many hugs to you Elspeth! I know you are going through a very difficult time right now. My sister-in-law struggles with the very same issues as you.

todd, thanks for keeping us informed. I pray for you and your family to recover quickly.

Robert, you are still in my prayers.

Gabby, you are too!

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 12-Apr-2004, 08:26 AM
Hello everyone!

I've been offline for almost a week with so much going on at home, and I've missed everyone. Hubby and I went to Tennessee for a few days to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary, then when we got back we had to organize a big 'Sweet 16' birthday party for our not-so-little girl. Fun, but exhausting!
Hope all of you are going to have a great week. Todd, I'm glad you're keeping us informed - please continue. That thing about a hug from God, I'm pleasantly surprised to see you mention it - I've actually told God I wished I had one sometimes and much to my amazement, I actually felt His presence! Silly me for doubting, right?? rolleyes.gif

RobertH, so sorry to hear about young James and his accident - too bad he had to learn his lesson in such a hard way, and I hope he does recover soon.

Elspeth, I'm praying for you to receive peace and wisdom in all this. Husbands can be the most exasperating people on the planet.

Its interesting, how so many of us here have dealt with depression. I had a serious bout with it for the first time back in 1988 after my daughter was born; I think the common post-partum depression thing triggered a full-blown situation in me and it nearly brought me down... no one really knew what was going on either, not my family or friends. Only by the grace of a remarkably patient and creative God did I ever come out of that situation alive! It was the one thing that taught me I can trust in God, and that is a wonderful lesson to learn... but what a black place it was to dwell in for those years.
To this day the potential for a 'relapse' is always there; discouraging life situations or set-backs can trigger it, but at least I know the signs and can usually stop it before it gets too bad. But I know its my weakness, my Achilles heel, and that it will never completely go away.
People who say stuff like 'oh what do you have to feel depressed about' or 'get over it' just don't know what they're talking about, do they?! It never goes away completely...



Posted by: CelticRose 12-Apr-2004, 11:46 AM
QUOTE (Siobhan Blues @ Apr 12 2004, 09:26 AM)
People who say stuff like 'oh what do you have to feel depressed about' or 'get over it' just don't know what they're talking about, do they?!  It never goes away completely...[/color][/font]

SB! You know as well as I about depression and anxiety. I suffer from it daily and have for many years. You try to escape it,but yet it always seems to draw you back in the black hole. No one can possibly understand it unless they have experienced it and it is horrible when you are in the midst of it.

On a positive note, Happy 25th wedding anniversary SB and Happy 16th birthday to Lauren! Wow! hard to believe she is 16 now.

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 13-Apr-2004, 04:54 AM
My mother suffered from depression when my first brother was born. It was a bad time for her and it lasted for 4 months straight. My mother was in such a bad place that everyday she was afraid to go to sleep because she thought she was going to die if she did. It took all she had just to feed me and my brother. She called her mother and told her she was going to die (and my grandmother flew in from out of town to help but couldn't help her). The house was let go, she didn't eat and the doctor gave her nerve pills and sleeping pills. But the pills were only a band-aid and surpressed the emotions but did stop the raping of her mind. Now she was a Christian through this whole episode, but didn't know how to get out of the black pit of dispair and fear. After 4 months of hell she finally said she had, had enough and got angry. She fought back and started reading the Word of God (The Bible). She learned that the battle was in her mind. The scripture "As a man thinks in his heart so he there is" came into play. As she started to learn what God thought about who she was and her situation, then she began to meditated on His thoughts and not her own thoughts, then the black mist started to lift.

St. Paul says put on the mind of Christ and to renew our minds daily. We need faith to live! And the Bible says, "Faith comes by hearing of the Word." Isaiah 55 verses 8-12 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and returns as rain and waters the earth, and makes it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goes forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing in which I send it to. For you shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands."

In God's Word lies truth, truth to live and overcome. Jesus said, "I am the Truth and the Life." Everyday might be a battle to overcome your depression, but don't do it unarmed. St. Paul said put on the whole armor of God. Gird your loins with truth (read and meditate on God's Word), put on the breastplate of righteousness (know that your righteousness is Christ's righteousness and was bought and paid for by His blood), put on the sandles prepared for the Gospel of Peace (be ready to testify of the risen Christ and His love at all times), put on the helmet of Salvation (know that you are His and you are in the palm of His hand), take up the shield of Faith (for it will help you stand against the storms), take up the sword of the spirit (when in trouble speak God's word to the situation. For example, if you are afraid recite out loud this verse, "God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of joy, peace, and a sound mind." If you are weak and cannot go on---you can recite this verse, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." or "Peace I give you, not as the world gives, but peace that passes all understanding." or "They overcame the evil one by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.") God's Word changes things as we believe and take Him at His word. The Lord said, "I am not a man that I should lie." He keeps His word. I am writing all this to say this all worked for my Mom. Not since 1970, has she had a bout with deep depression where it incompasitated her. She has never taken medication again for depression. Please do not think I am condemming anyone who needs to take medication. I am only saying that there is a way out of the viscious cycle---there is freedom. This does not mean you won't ever have a battle---it only means as you trust in God's Word and apply it---you can find freedom and you can overcome---because Christ overcame at the Cross..."The chastiment of our peace was upon him; and with His stripes we are healed."

Remember what Jesus said, "Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you will find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Peace,
Roisin

Posted by: tsargent62 13-Apr-2004, 06:31 AM
Roisin,

Wise words indeed. Depression, although dark and hopeless, is a very comfortable place to be. That seems like a dichotomy, but ask anyone who's suffered from it and they'll agree. It's much easier to rest in the bottom of the pit, curled up in a ball, than to try to climb out. Depression is insidious. You can be flying high, but it creeps up on you, filling you with self-doubt until it sinks its claws in deeper and deeper.

You seem to be a woman of deep faith. Please keep posting your wise words.

Todd

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 13-Apr-2004, 08:13 AM
Rosin, those are wise words indeed - thank you for sharing them with us in such a thought-provoking post.
I remember so clearly when I was at the lowest point during my depression and had given up hope in everyone else, it was Christ that I kept waiting for... I waited and waited for Him to send me some way out. I was a Christian, and kept holding onto His promise to never leave us because we have chosen Him. That was the one thought I never let go of, that He would eventually send me some aid. It took awhile, though, and later on I prayed about that asking why He didn't help me right away. The answer was, He watched until I had realized that none of my own efforts (or those of my clueless family) was sufficient - He alone is sufficient, and is the only one we need! The most important lesson I learned was that I was never alone through the entire ordeal; He was there with me, waiting for me to quit trying to fix the situation myself. The second most important lesson I learned was, do not disregard what God has given you in life situations, abilities, things like that...
Actually the core issue was this: I do not believe in myself, in my ability or capacity to handle what is given to me... God gave me this life, this family, this love of art because those are the areas where I can be of service and they are the areas where I will find satisfaction and purpose. They are what I am here to do! But I do not have much innate self-confidence. I remember actually thinking that my own mom would be better at raising my two kids than I was, so if I was not around they'd be better off. That is SO not true!! But in the state of mind I had descended to, it seemed logical... it gives me cold shivers even now, thinking of how far off the truth I was.
To doubt oneself that much is a slap in the face to God, its saying you literally don't believe Him when He says you're so valued and loved that He knows the number of hairs on your head...
I was reprimanded for doubting Him like that. There were consequences for my deliberate rejection of His gifts.

But I learned a perhaps painful but essential lesson: that He is always there for us and that He has specific purposes for our lives. I will never doubt Him again!

Posted by: tsargent62 13-Apr-2004, 06:19 PM
Man, it doesn't rain but it pours. I just found out today that my dad has Alzheimer's Syndrome. There's no one else in the family that has it, so I don't know if there was a latent gene in there somewhere or what. It is genetic, right? He's already been told he can't drive anymore. Fortunately his wife (not my mother) is an RN, so she can take care of him. I need to get more educated about it.

I would just appreciate some prayers for my dad and his wife.

Posted by: Elspeth 14-Apr-2004, 06:42 AM
Todd,

Man it is just raining in your world right now isn't it? Thank God your Dad has someone who will know how to care for him. But that doesn't make it all any easier, does it? My prayers are with all your family.

I hope you are finding moments of Joy within all this anxiety. Happiness is an illusion or a condition reserved for a blessed few, but God given Joy is available to us all. Revel in those moments. They are what see us through.

Elspeth

Posted by: CelticRose 14-Apr-2004, 12:53 PM
Oh Todd! I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I worked in Neurology for several years and have seen first hand what it does to patients and their families. Thank God he has your step-mother to take care of him. I am so sorry and keep us posted. Will keep you in my prayers.

Posted by: maggiemahone1 14-Apr-2004, 06:50 PM
Todd, I'm so sorry that your dad has Alzheimer's. It is a very good idea to read and find out about Alzheimer's so you and your family will know how to deal with this disease. There is no cure but there is medication to help. A new medicine came out in January 2004 for late stage Alzheimer's. I have heard there is good results with this new medication. The name of this medication is Namenda.

I have a patient with Alzheimer's and I go into her home and help with her care. She is in late stage Alzheimer's. She still remembers her husband but sometimes refers to him as Daddy. She thinks that her children are still home and worries about them as though they are small again. They are both grown. She seems to remember her family when she was a child and thinks her Mom and Dad are still living. When she trys to make conversation, she substitutes words and you have no idea what she is talking about. She used to be combative, and get very agitated. Thank goodness she was put on medication that has taken care of that problem. Without medicine to help her sleep she would be up all night. Different people have different symptoms. One thing most all alzheimer's patient's do is wander. They have to be constantly watched, never let out of sight. It takes a lot of patience to take care of someone who has Alzheimer's. Your Mom will need lots of support from her family and need a break so she won't get so stressed out that she'll be climbing the walls. My prayers to you and your family.

maggiemahone1

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 15-Apr-2004, 01:24 AM
Todd,

My prayers go out to you and your dad and his wife. Talk about pouring in bucket fulls! Learning all you can about your father's illness will inpower you to cope and better help your father.

Peace,
Be God's and be blessed,
Roisin


Posted by: Siobhan Blues 15-Apr-2004, 11:02 AM
Todd,

My grandmother suffered from Alzheimers too so I know the path you're about to walk. There really are new treatments for it now that we didn't have available back then so I hope your dad's experience will be less traumatic than my Gran's was.

SB

Posted by: RobertH 15-Apr-2004, 08:42 PM
Todd -

I'm so sorry to hear you, your father, and your family. You will all remain in my prayers. We have avoided Alzheimer's, but my own father has gone through three different battles with cancer, the latest being multiple myeloma. My prayers go with you, my friend.

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 16-Apr-2004, 07:29 AM
QUOTE (RobertH @ Apr 15 2004, 09:42 PM)
...my own father has gone through three different battles with cancer, the latest being multiple myeloma. My prayers go with you, my friend.

RobertH, if you don't want to go into this I understand, but may I ask what 'multiple myeloma' actually is? I have heard about it lately several times from church, because people's friends have been diagnosed but I don't know anything about it.
Its nothing like melanoma, is it, which is skin cancer?

Posted by: RobertH 16-Apr-2004, 07:24 PM
Siobhan -

No, it's very different. Without going into a great deal about cell biology, it's a cancer that attacks the white blood cells. Sometimes the cancerous mass is located in or on a single bone or form a single mass, which is diagnosed as myeloma. It's more often discovered in multiple simultaneous locations, leading to the obvious diagnosis of multiple myeloma.

The course of treatment differs, as it's based on variables such as age, general health, etc. My father's particular course of treatment consisted of four rounds of increasingly difficult chemotherapy and a bone marrow stem cell transplant, using cells harvested from himself before they intiated treatment.

The first three rounds of chemo went very well. There was the expected hair loss, but other than that he really didn't feel bad at all. The fourth round was the one that literally pushed him to the brink before it brought him back. We spent a lot of time in his ward to support him, badger him, and generally let him know that we cared.

The VA staff, partnering with a well-known cancer institute, did a great job. We know that myeloma is, as of now, incurable. However, he's been symptom-free for over a year now, and continues to improve. He's back to being almost as stubborn as me.

Posted by: CelticRose 17-Apr-2004, 06:38 PM
Oh Robert! What a horrible, horrible disease. I hope and pray your father will make a miraculous recovery. Keep us posted.

Posted by: gaberlunzie 18-Apr-2004, 06:09 AM
I have a favor to ask of all of you. I got a message today from a very close friend of mine. Though living at the other end of the world she is like a sister and kin for me.
Her daughter is still rather young and she's pregnant. Now it was attested that she has a kidney disease for which there is seemingly no cure and they can't give her any drugs now that she is pregnant.
I was and I am scared and the more my friend will be.
Will you all keep them in your prayers?
Todd, RobertH, Rose, Elspeth...you are all in my thoughts and prayers though I didn't post here for quite a while. I'm still having a hard time with my youngest son who had a serious relapse to his anxiety conditions and phobia. We managed it before and we will manage it this time as well but it forces me to my limits.
So do not mind - I didn't forget about anyone of you!

Posted by: Elspeth 19-Apr-2004, 06:54 AM
Oh gabby! You and your son are in our prayers, as well as your friend and her daughter and her unborn child. May your son soon be back on an even keel. And may you and he be surrounded and uplifted by the divine Love of Christ in a real and tangible way.

I would like to share a joy that I am doing much, much better. I am blessed to have been given one of the new anti-depressants, very effective for anxiety and no side effects. It is such a blessing to have that constant fear taken away. The problems still exist, but this was the edge I needed to be able to manage them. I have also come to several descisions regarding my family situation, and that creates a level of calm as well. Thank you one and all for your prayers - I know I have been uplifted, have felt it. And thank you for the stories as well. So often what we need is to know we aren't in it alone, that our stories aren't as bizarre as they may seem.

Everyone, please keep us updated on your lives, the good and the bad.

Today is a beautiful, breezy spring day. My responsibilities are light and I plan on reveling in the wonder of it all. Plus I have a story mulling around - always the fun phase!

Have a Great Day one and all, for even amidst the anxieties and the turmoils we have the assurance that God Loves Us!

Elspeth

Posted by: tsargent62 19-Apr-2004, 09:19 AM
Elspeth, I'm glad you're feeling better. Not having that persistant anxiety has to make everything in your life a bit easier to deal with. I continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.

Gabby I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Do they know how the kidney disease will affect the baby? I will surely pray for your friend's daughter and her baby. And don't feel bad for not posting here. Your son comes first. Understanding your past, I'm sure there is a lot to deal with. It never occurred to me, and I'm sure to anyone else, that you would forget about us. We know we're loved!

RobertH, I'm glad your father is doing well. No one in my close family has had to go through chemo and I hope we never do.

May the Peace of Christ be with all of you.

Todd

Posted by: gaberlunzie 19-Apr-2004, 10:28 AM
Elspeth, I'm so glad that you are doing better! Knowing that it isn't an easy time for you though I won't stop keeping you in my prayers.

Todd, my friend and family don't know a lot about this special disease; actually they are collecting all information about it they can get.
As her daughter doesn't take any meds I think the unborn baby will not be affected but nobody knows how the young Mum will do during this time and after. So keep them in your prayers.
My son will finally be successful in fighting his demons. I know about his strength and I know he CAN...but he suffers rather badly and so does his Mum. Seeing kids in pain is a terrible thing.

Yes, you are all loved and with me in my thoughts. And thank you for your support!

God bless you all!

Posted by: CelticRose 19-Apr-2004, 04:31 PM
I continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

my mother seems to be doing a little bit better each day. She still struggles in several ways due from the stroke, but she is improving. The praise that I have is that one of my oldest sisters who has not spoken to my mother in 20 years called our mother yesterday to express her concern. I was overjoyed as there has been a renewing of their relationship now. They both told me how nervous they were talking to the other, but yet how much they enjoyed their long overdue conversation. It's too bad that it takes situations like this to bring our family's together, isn't it?

God's blessings on you all.

Posted by: tsargent62 20-Apr-2004, 06:25 AM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ Apr 19 2004, 05:31 PM)
I continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

my mother seems to be doing a little bit better each day. She still struggles in several ways due from the stroke, but she is improving. The praise that I have is that one of my oldest sisters who has not spoken to my mother in 20 years called our mother yesterday to express her concern. I was overjoyed as there has been a renewing of their relationship now. They both told me how nervous they were talking to the other, but yet how much they enjoyed their long overdue conversation. It's too bad that it takes situations like this to bring our family's together, isn't it?

God's blessings on you all.

Rose, that certainly is a joy. It is unfortunate that it took your mother having a stroke to prompt your sister to renew their relationship, but it is a blessing no matter the catalyst. I'm very happy for your family in that regard. I'm also very glad to hear your mother is improving. I pray God will continue to help your mother and your family.

Todd

Posted by: CelticRose 21-Apr-2004, 05:27 PM
Hi Todd! Thank you for your delightful comments.

It took some issues as to why my mother and her oldest daughers have not spoken for some many years. heck! She didn't even speak to me for three years until recently, so it is good that we are all trying to be on the mend now.

It is very unfortumate that my mother is in this situation with her illnesss but even more unfortunate that she has been in a bad relationnship with three of her daughers (including me) and that because of this we are all on the mend now.. thank God.

Many thanks for all your prayers!

Posted by: maggiemahone1 21-Apr-2004, 06:42 PM
God works in mysterious ways. Isn't it wonderful that something so bad as sickness can bring a family closer together! biggrin.gif That makes me smile.

maggiemahone1

Posted by: CelticRose 21-Apr-2004, 08:47 PM
Thanks Maggie. It joys my heart too!

Posted by: Elspeth 22-Apr-2004, 06:13 AM
Yes, Rose, it IS a joy that your family has the joy and healing of reconciliation amidst the sadness of your mother's illness. That is one of the things I love most about God. How He may not fix things in this imperfect world, but how within the troubles there are these islands of joy. It always reminds me of a crocus blooming in the snow. Vibriant beauty, renewal and hope when all seems cold and barren.
Praise God.

Posted by: CelticRose 22-Apr-2004, 06:24 AM
Oh thank you, Elspeth! I cannot agree with you more! hug.gif

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 23-Apr-2004, 12:24 PM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ Apr 19 2004, 05:31 PM)
The praise that I have is that one of my oldest sisters who has not spoken to my mother in 20 years called our mother yesterday to express her concern. I was overjoyed as there has been a renewing of their relationship now. They both told me how nervous they were talking to the other, but yet how much they enjoyed their long overdue conversation. It's too bad that it takes situations like this to bring our family's together, isn't it?

First, I am so sorry I haven't been here in such a long time - I've been wondering how everyone is, but haven't had the time to get online!

Second, Rose that is truly amazing that reconciliation is happening... its one good thing that's coming from such an unfortunate situation, isn't it. I am glad they are speaking again, while there is time to say what needs to be said!

SB

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 23-Apr-2004, 12:33 PM
QUOTE (RobertH @ Apr 16 2004, 08:24 PM)
Without going into a great deal about cell biology, it's a cancer that attacks the white blood cells.  Sometimes the cancerous mass is located in or on a single bone or form a single mass, which is diagnosed as myeloma.  It's more often discovered in multiple simultaneous locations, leading to the obvious diagnosis of multiple myeloma.

The course of treatment differs, as it's based on variables such as age, general health, etc.  My father's particular course of treatment consisted of four rounds of increasingly difficult chemotherapy and a bone marrow stem cell transplant, using cells harvested from himself before they intiated treatment...
We know that myeloma is, as of now, incurable.  However, he's been symptom-free for over a year now, and continues to improve.  He's back to being almost as stubborn as me.

I apologize to you for not acknowledging your post sooner, R, forgive me! I appreciate the explanation... I understand it now.
Strange too, a sweet lady I know has this illness but I didn't know it until recently. She is going to have a stem cell transplant next month if her strength holds up... she has been very weak at times but is having good days right now.

Hey, I knew stubbornness was good for something - well I hoped so any way because I have a double dose of it myself sometimes. biggrin.gif
I hope it will continue to be what keeps your dad symptom-free for a very long time!

I'll be thinking of you and Rose and El, even if you don't see me here. There's just so much going on right now I can hardly keep track of the days...

Siobhan Blues

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 24-Apr-2004, 03:54 AM
For all those whose loved ones who are battling cancer or some other disease, my prayers are going up on their behalf. I'm also praying for everyone here at Kirk and Chapel and their families. May God richly bless and keep you.

Peace,
Roisin

Posted by: CelticRose 24-Apr-2004, 04:57 AM
thanks for your prayers, Roisin! I am praying for everyone here too!

Posted by: tsargent62 27-Apr-2004, 01:02 PM
I have a mixed joy and concern. First the joy: My wife has been running a day care out of our home for 8 years. She has been very burned out and hating her job for over 2 years. She's wanted out, but was scared to quit and take away part of our income. Well, just after Christmas or 2002, she started selling products for a company called Tastefully Simple. You may or may not have heard of it. It's one of those home party type businesses. She's done very well with it. So, she's finally decided to quit day care. She put the notices in all the families' mail boxes yesterday. She'll be done in June after the school year ends. I'm very happy for her. Plus we'll be getting the rest of our house back.

Now the concern: My wife is quitting day care. What? Well, it's going to be about a year before the Tastefully Simple business gets to the point of bringing in the same money the day care does. It'll be tight. But, in the end it will be worth it. Overall, I'm not real worried. God has always helped us find a way to get by, and he'll do so again.

The big picture is that this is a real joy because poor Maria has been so miserable for the last few years. She's gained a bunch of weight because she's been so depressed. Plus, her back is always a mess because she's constantly picking up the little ones. She will be much happier, and that makes me happy.

Todd

Posted by: CelticRose 27-Apr-2004, 04:26 PM
Todd, sounds like this is the best thing Maria could have done for herself and for your family. No point in having miserable family members hating their job. It affects your health in one way or another. Plus it affects the relationships around her as well. Sounds like you all made a good decision. I am sure you all are trusting in God..........He will provide and take care of all of you. thumbs_up.gif

Posted by: tsargent62 27-Apr-2004, 04:37 PM
Absolutely. We will need our faith to get through the initial lean period. It will pay off in the long run. Her new business has almost unlimited earning potential. She will be much happier and, I'm sure, much healthier.

One thing I forgot to add. I mentioned sometime back that the IT department where I work was about to be outsourced. Well, the contract was signed yesterday. So, I don't know if I'm going to have a job or not in the next 2 or 3 months. I'm trying to bail now and find something. It would not be good for both of us not bringing in a good income. So, yeah, faith is pretty important right now.

Thanks, as always, for your support, Rose. I know I can always count on you.

Hugs,
Todd

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 28-Apr-2004, 01:11 AM
Todd,

Thanks for posting your family's (wife's) change of profession situation. It encouraged me, because I'm going through a simular situation and money has been very tight. It's easy to say we are trusting God when times are rolling along, but when that bump in the road hits...then that's when the rubber really meets the road! I really got depressed today and was saying, "God what are you doing---help!!!!!" Now, I know the Lord is in control, but my emotions felt like they were in hurricane force winds. Guys please pray that the Lord will give me direction, wisdom, knowledge, and grace to walk through this tough time...and a little blessing wouldn't hurt either. wink.gif

Peace,
Roisin

Posted by: tsargent62 28-Apr-2004, 06:40 AM
Roisin,
It can be very scary starting a new venture. Maria put it off for a long time, but finally was moved to take the leap. I know God will take care of us and he'll take care of you, too. Just look deep in that quiet place, deep in your soul, and you'll know it's true. I will pray for you, dear Roisin, that He will give you peace and strength to see it through.

Todd

Posted by: Elspeth 28-Apr-2004, 06:55 AM
Guidance, wisdom, discernment and heaps of blessings I pray will be bestowed upon both you Roisin and Todd and your family. It is scary. We have been existing for years at an income level that on paper just doesn't work, and yet we are still here. Sometimes the answers seem to be so long in coming. It is then that I have to tell myself the answer must to be to keep going, keep slugging, keep doing the best you can and when God wants the direction to change, He'll let us know. Until then, the answer is wait. So, don't get discouraged. You may not be certain what the right path is, but you will certianly know if it is the wrong one. As long as you're not being told it is the wrong one, step forth boldly! (easy for me to say rolleyes.gif )

Todd, I have to tell you it is wonderful to read of a man who is so supportive of his wife.

Elspeth

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 28-Apr-2004, 07:42 AM
Thank so very much guys for the encouragment and your prayers. I guess it's a matter of faith. When all hell is breaking loose then it tends to shake your faith and you start to tremble...then doubt starts to set in.

I prayed, "Lord, make a way where there is no way!" So right now I'm waiting...by faith.

Thanks and Love,
Yours,
Roisin

Posted by: CelticRose 28-Apr-2004, 08:54 PM
Todd and Roisin! The very thing I have learned in life is that God does not take anything away that He does not give us any better! Just remember that and I will remember you both in my prayers. Keep us posted!

Posted by: gaberlunzie 29-Apr-2004, 02:19 AM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ Apr 28 2004, 09:54 PM)
Todd and Roisin! The very thing I have learned in life is that God does not take anything away that He does not give us any better! Just remember that and I will remember you both in my prayers. Keep us posted!

You are so right by that, Rose. This is my own experience, too...

"LET ME NOT PRAY TO BE SHELTERED FROM DANGERS,
BUT TO BE FEARLESS IN FACING THEM.
LET ME NOT BEG FOR THE STILLING OF MY PAIN,
BUT FOR THE HEART TO CONQUER IT."

(Rabindranath Tagore)

You are in my prayers.

Posted by: CelticRose 29-Apr-2004, 03:53 AM
Wow! Gabby! You made 1000 posts! Sorry! but I think you should be acknowledged for that! Yippee! thumbs_up.gif thumbs_up.gif

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 29-Apr-2004, 05:41 AM
Thanks Rose and Gabby!!!! I'll take those words to heart!
Have a great Day.

Yours,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 29-Apr-2004, 08:45 AM
Good morning everyone,

I see the issue of job changes is on some hearts today...
Just last evening at church, an acquaintance from Sunday School suddenly began to confide in me that she is terribly unhappy at home, at work, and with herself personally. She has serious personality conflicts with her supervisor but when I suggested she might look for another job she didn't seem to eager to do that... it just seemed like that was the only thing she COULD change right now since her home situation is set (elderly, ill parents who need her care).

I felt so sorry for her, and hope that she figures out what action to take soon. Leaving a job is frightening, isn't it? Sometimes the familiar unpleasantness is preferable to the unknown...

Posted by: CelticRose 29-Apr-2004, 09:03 AM
QUOTE (Siobhan Blues @ Apr 29 2004, 09:45 AM)
Leaving a job is frightening, isn't it? Sometimes the familiar unpleasantness is preferable to the unknown...[/color][/font]

Very true indeed!

Posted by: tsargent62 29-Apr-2004, 10:38 AM
While that is very true, sometimes the risk is worth it. I don't believe in a set plan that God has for us, but I do believe that he helps us with things that he views as being in our best interest. From Sept., 2000 through Oct, 2001 I had 2 separate jobs. Both ended due to company finances. I took both of them hoping to improve my professional situation. And while each only lasted 6 months, I got invaluable experience from both.

I am faced with possibly needing to move again. I know that when the job that God wants me to have becomes available, he will guide me into it. It just takes faith and a trust in God. And, at times, it takes a good dose of patience.

Todd

Posted by: Elspeth 03-May-2004, 07:24 AM
I haven't been on the computer much - putting in a new kitchen floor - setting up our new computer - going insane with running the kids around.

So, anyway, how is everyone doing?

Roisin?

Todd?

Rose?

Gabby?

Siobhan?

Robert?

Andy?

Paula?

Silverdragon?

HighPlains Drifter?

kelaorqu?

Maggie?

elly?

So many have posted on this thread! smile.gif What a nice little community and still room for so many more.



Posted by: tsargent62 03-May-2004, 08:17 AM
Hi, Elspeth!

Thanks for thinking of all of us. Life is kind of a mixed bag for me. I was told last week that my job is not in danger. That's good. I still don't really like my job, so I would like to move, but it's nice to know that there's no big rush. I would be happier elsewhere, but for now, I'll just put up with it.

The TB thing is not much more than an afterthought. We do have to take our antibiotics for the next 8 months. I'm having trouble getting my wife to take hers. She says that they upset her stomach, but she can't seem to remember to take them right after dinner, which would help.

My wife is definitely going forward with closing the day care. Fortunately, all of the parents have been supportive, which really helps. Even her employees have been cool. She put it to them that they can collect unemployment and take the summer off. In that light, they don't seem to mind not having a job after June 18.

In general, things aren't too bad. Still, not real happy with life, but shouldn't complain.

So, my dear Elspeth, how are you doing?

Todd

Posted by: tsargent62 03-May-2004, 08:22 AM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ Apr 28 2004, 09:54 PM)
Todd and Roisin! The very thing I have learned in life is that God does not take anything away that He does not give us any better! Just remember that and I will remember you both in my prayers. Keep us posted!

Thanks, Rose. Very wise words, indeed. I appreciate your prayers and the love that shines through every post you make. You are such a special person.


BTW: Love your new avatar! Quite a change. So, are you a fan of Galadriel or Cate Blanchet? Or both?

Love and hugs,
Todd

Posted by: Elspeth 03-May-2004, 08:34 AM
Thanks for asking Todd. I am doing well. Very busy with the house and the kid's busy schedules. But that gives me a purpose and that is a good thing. Also have been singing in our church's praise band and on the committe to find a new minister. That keeps me connected to other people. Again a good thing. Wish I had more energy though. I find myself dragging so often. Maybe it's the weather. I like gray, rainy days but they do tend to hypnotize (sp?).


Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 03-May-2004, 01:13 PM
Hi Elspeth,

Things are going good---I'm walking by faith concerning my job and money (I'm sure we've all been there). But as for my spiritual walk, things are wonderful. God is so good and He is raining down bucket fulls of love.

I've been very busy working with our youth group at church. My children are busy as ever and I need extra strength to keep up. I'm also trying to redesign our church web site. The church is using Yahoo's Site Builder. It has been a challenge to learn how the program works, and a disappointment to learn how many limitations it has.

I'm glad everything is going good for you. I see you've been very busy. I hope your church finds a new pastor that will fit your churches needs and personality. Thanks for checking in with your brood, Mama-hen. wink.gif

Peace,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 03-May-2004, 04:38 PM
QUOTE (tsargent62 @ May 3 2004, 09:22 AM)
Thanks, Rose. Very wise words, indeed. I appreciate your prayers and the love that shines through every post you make. You are such a special person.


BTW: Love your new avatar! Quite a change. So, are you a fan of Galadriel or Cate Blanchet? Or both?

Love and hugs,
Todd

Todd! So glad to hear an update on you. Still praying for you!

About my avatar! I am a major fan of Cate Blanchett. Seen just about every movie she has made and I just love her! She is my favorite actress! Plus I am a major fan of LOTR and loved her in LOTR! I thought she deserved an Oscar! She wasn't in it much, but what she did do was awesome! Besides I needed a change! LOL

Posted by: CelticRose 03-May-2004, 04:43 PM
I am glad to get a catch up on some of you folks, if not all.

all is going well here. We are getting ready for the wedding of the century ..............our nephew and his new wife in a few weeks.

my mother continues to have TIAs (mini strokes). My sister caring for her does a really good job and always remains upbeat and postive and on top of things. We have taken care of a lot of legal matters that have needed to be taken care of a long time ago and I thank God He gave us the grace of the cooperation of my mother for us to have accomplished that. I see them both in August again. I bought myself a portable book lamp so I can read my books when I visiting with mother then as she doesn't like lights on or television on for fear of them giving her migraines. Thats my news.

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 04-May-2004, 08:22 AM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ May 3 2004, 05:38 PM)
About my avatar! I am a major fan of Cate Blanchett. Seen just about every movie she has made and I just love her!  She is my favorite actress! Plus I am a major fan of LOTR and loved her in LOTR! I thought she deserved an Oscar! She wasn't in it much, but what she did do was awesome!...

Didn't you like the added footage of Galadriel in the "Fellowship of the Ring" where she was shown giving gifts to the 9? I was really upset that the scene was cut in the theatrical version because I liked how appropriate each gift was to each member of the fellowship...

May 25, Return of the King is on dvd - but not the extended version, darn it...

Posted by: CelticRose 04-May-2004, 08:30 PM
Yes, I did love the extra footage of Galadriel. The Fellowship of the Ring was on the movie channel the other night but I could not watch it cause it was just the theatre version. I have the extended version and I would have missed those extra scenes that I love so much. Fred watched the regular FOTR though.

I wish that Galadriel had been more in the ROTK though.

You know honestly, I think I love FOTR the best. Sorry, off topic!

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 04-May-2004, 09:49 PM
This is probably not the place to post this, but here goes...Rose I was taken by surprise by your new Avatar and I love it. I think of our avatar's as sort of a window into our personas. So it is a nice change and I think it fits you. smile.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 05-May-2004, 06:12 PM
Thanks Roisin! Just needed something different! biggrin.gif

Posted by: tsargent62 07-May-2004, 06:18 PM
I have a joy to report (for a change biggrin.gif ) You might remember that I was concerned about my job because my IT department was being outsourced. Turns out my worries were unfounded. I'm staying! clap.gif cheers.gif I still would like to find a different job because I don't really like my job, but at least I don't have to worry about losing it any time soon.

Thank you for being so supportive during this rough time, dear friends. It sure is nice to have a place like this to unload isn't it? It's also invaluable to know I have people think about me and praying for me.

Yours in Christ,
Todd

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 07-May-2004, 08:23 PM
Hey, that is good news! Better to look for a new job when you want to - without the pressure of knowing the present one is about to end...

SB

Posted by: aklassie 08-May-2004, 05:16 PM
I have a prayer request.
Right now my husband and I are in some realy rocky times. Keep us in your prayers that He'll help us fine our way.
I've been a member of this forum for almost (oh my gosh) 4 years. Everyone here is family to me.

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 08-May-2004, 06:09 PM
Hello aklassie, I will be praying for you and your husband. I pray the Lord rain down his grace and healing virtue to renew and strengthen your marriage. Don't loose heart---the Lord is with you!

Peace,
Roisin

Posted by: CelticRose 08-May-2004, 08:26 PM
Hi there Aklassie! I am sorry about the rough times right now, but you are in my thoughts and prayers. hug.gif

Posted by: tsargent62 10-May-2004, 07:52 AM
Glenda, I will definitely pray for you and your husband. I've been there with my marriage, too, and it is not fun. Thankfully, we seem to have pulled it out of immediate danger, but we're not completely clear yet. Have faith, my friend. And have a hug, too. hug.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 10-May-2004, 06:11 PM
Hi there friends! sorry to keep coming in here complaining, but things just keep happening.

My mother had another stroke on Mother's Day and so she is in the hospital right now and will be transferred to a rehab center when she gets better. I am thankful for that. My sis is seriously looking into home health care as she wants to keep mom home as long as possible. I am not sure how long my sis is going to be able to handle this, but it is her choice.

My dog has been very sick and I have not had much sleep because of the diarrhea and vomiting he has been going though. He went to the vet today and had blood work that will be told to me tomorrow and then he got a shot and drugs to calm down his stomach and special food. Sheesh! That is my story!

Posted by: wizardofowls 10-May-2004, 08:08 PM
Bless your heart! You are really having a hard time of it aren't you? I will continue to pray for you as I do for all of my new friends here!

Keep me and my family in your prayers too, will you? We are going through some hard times right now. My daughter was suspended from school today. Apparently a girl in her class was picking on her and making her very angry. So Tiffany, who is only 11 and in the 5th grade, wrote the little girl a note saying that if she did it again that she was going to die!

Well, the scholl doesn't look kindly at such threats and has decided that Tiffany is a threat to the other kids and has suspended her indefinitely until we can get her a psychiatric evaluation!

Tiffany has been haivng some behaviorl porblems for a while now, but you know what? I believe that there is NOTHING that my God can't do! If He can create an entire universe in 6 days, raise men from the day, deliver the demon-possessed and perform all of the other miracles that He has done, I know that He can help one troubled little girl! Please add your prayers to mine as I continue to pray for all of you!

I ove you guys! You are a very special group of people and I thank God ( and his helper, CelticRose! wink.gif ) for guiding me here!

You are in my thohgts and prayers. God bless!

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 10-May-2004, 09:39 PM
Hey Rosemary and Wizard, I'll will keep you both in my prayers.

Rose I know it has to be hard to see your mother suffer the way she is. I pray the Lord will give you peace through this whole situation and helps your mother have a speedy recovery. Keep us posted.

Wizard, I'll be praying for you and your daughter. 11 years old is an awkward time for girls. It is a time of transition, change, and finding their place in the world. And it doesn't help when your not accepted at school. Girls can be so caddy and ruthless at school. Some girls say nothing when picked on and hold it in and allow the negatives to affect the way they see themselves and their perception of how others view them. Then there are other girls who act out right away and lash out on others in destructive ways. I don't believe your daughter was really going to hurt the girl who was picking at her---this day and age the schools are SO hyper sensitive, alittle over board think. I will keep her in my prayers. Keep us posted.

Peace,
Roisin

Posted by: CelticRose 10-May-2004, 10:36 PM
Wizard! It is always such a joy to see you here. Thank you for your prayers and concern.

I will be praying for your family as well. Poor daughter of yours. I was picked on when I was in school too and you did feel like killing the ones who did that to you. doesn't mean you did. She just needed to let this kid know to bug off and stand up for herself. Such a rough world we live in, isn't it? Keep us posted and I will continue to pray for you and all my friends here as well, as I always do. smile.gif

Posted by: gaberlunzie 11-May-2004, 01:27 AM
I haven't posted here for quite a while but I'm always reading about all your joys and concerns and I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers! smile.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 11-May-2004, 01:50 AM
Thank you Gabby! You are a sweetie pie! hug.gif

Posted by: gaberlunzie 11-May-2004, 02:14 AM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ May 11 2004, 02:50 AM)
Thank you Gabby! You are a sweetie pie! hug.gif

oooh...not more than you are, Rose...user posted image

Posted by: wizardofowls 11-May-2004, 09:03 AM
Well, persoanlly, I think you are BOTH sweetie pies! smile.gif Thanks, Rose Gab and Roisin! Your kind words, thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated and welcomed!

Pray for me as I continue to pray for you!

As Always,
Your Brother in Christ

Posted by: Elspeth 11-May-2004, 10:44 AM
I've been away from my computer and am just now catching up.

Prayers and petitions to all of you who have posted. I can relate to so many of you.

AKlassie, prayers that you and your husband will again find that special bond and can weather your storms together, arriving on the other shore stronger for having been though the trial. And I can relate, believe me. Peace to you in your situation.

Rose, I am sorry your mother had another stroke. Peace and blessings to you and your entire family.

Wizard - again, I can so relate. I have a daughter who just turned 11. In the past few months we have had to deal with behaviors I thought impossible for her to have ever contemplated, let alone acted upon. It is a tough age, and tough on the parent's as well. Peace, healing and blessings I pray for your daughter and your entire family.

Gabby, I've wondered often how you have been. How is your son doing? Peace, blessings, healings and prayers to you always.


I have a joy that my husband is starting to look seriously at his drinking. Though he isn't ready to give it up, the wheels are beginning to turn. Thank you one and all for your prayers. I know God has heard you and has chosen this time to work in my husband.

But, the last 20 years has been such a roller coaster ride that I am now in a place that I can no longer pray for him. I know he must make these decisions on his own and do this on his own, and so I have backed off. I know I should be praying for him, but I no longer have the desire to do so. So, I ask all of you if you could take him under your wing. He needs prayers. I am in a very difficult place. I no longer know what I feel for him. There have just been too many hurts, broken promises. Too many times we had something good, only for him to pull away again and me to fall flat on the pavement below. I am at a place where I feel I just don?t want to do it anymore. We have never had easy times, it has been work and struggle from day one. After 20 years, I?m tired. I don?t want to do it anymore. In many ways, I just long to be free of it all. I question if I should have ever married him in the first place. I wasn?t sure then and seventeen years later I?m certainly not sure now.

Posted by: gaberlunzie 11-May-2004, 11:26 AM
Elspeth;
I can relate to that so very well. I wished I could give you an advice but you have to make your own decision. But be sure that you are always in my heart, thoughts and prayers! I'm sorry, I know I should have posted much earlier. My son's doing a bit better but there is still so much to deal with... he's a brave fighter though!
I'm often too tired to speak or write about it - most of the time, to say the truth.

I'm grateful for the prayers of all of you and I keep you all up in mine.

Wizard, thank you for the compliment...you sure are a gentleman! smile.gif

Posted by: wizardofowls 11-May-2004, 01:40 PM
Elspeth, dear, bless your heart! Hang in there! I know its hard for you, but our God is a BIG God! My wife was about ready to give up on me two and a half years ago, when I finally gave my heart to Christ. She still has days when she doubts me, but I think even she would have to say that God has turned our lives aorund and renewed our love for each other! Don't give up, but yes, give it to God and let it go. The Bible says "and having done all, stand." Stand on the Rock, the firm foundation we have in Christ. When you get tired, lean on Him. He has BIG shoulders! smile.gif And lean on us too. That's what friends are for!

You're in my heart, thoughts and prayers!

As Always,
Your Brother in Christ

Posted by: Elspeth 11-May-2004, 01:49 PM
Thank you wizard! You nice owl man you. smile.gif

I am actually very happy in many ways now. Part of that comes from letting go of my husband. As we enablers do, I saved him from himself, but it the process I was keeping him from growing. I am no longer holding him up and he is learning to hold himself up. I had to pull away for that to happen. But, also, there have been very deep wounds that I am now having to deal with. I am not sure how much they have damamged things, or what I want my life to be. Lots of questions, but we have children who need a stable home, so questioning happens within the context of things being as they are. Which has enough highs to help counter the lows.

Posted by: Aragorn 11-May-2004, 05:20 PM
Oh how my heart weeps with sorrow for you Elspeth, I offer the only few things I can for you and that is prayer and support. our God is a BIG God and he can care for you. I am so thankful for the caliber of wonderful friends that are here. Rest and be comforted oh weary spirit for God is your strength and joy.

Your brother in Christ,

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 11-May-2004, 11:54 PM
Elspeth,

I know it is hard right now. Your husband has to come to the end of himself and when he truly sees who he has become in the mirror of raw reality then and only then can he make a decision to cry out for help and mean it. The Faith Equation is that the Lord will help him open his eyes and give him the measure of faith and grace to turn from his way and turn in God's direction---But it has to be your husband's decision and his alone. That raw reality I believe is hitting bottom. Everybody's bottom is different and at different depths. Has your husband hit his bottom yet?

Sometimes we get in the way of allowing that person to hit bottom when they really need to. I'm speaking from experience concerning my brother, which you know the history. An enabler is also a victim. But first we have to stop being the victim, then inturn this will allow us to stop being the enabler for the substance abuser. Hine-sight is 20/20, I wish I had known this before. There are no cookie-cutter answers as you know, but I hope my insight helps in some small way.

My dear friend Elspeth, you are always in my prayers. Remember the old saying 'walk a mile in my shoes' ? Well, I've been there and back, but I walk there no more. I'm glad that path is gone, but it has given me the ability to help others. I believe God is going to use you in the lives of others, to counsel and give your experience of wisdom with hope. 'What Satan means for evil in our lives, God will use for our good.'

Yours, with hugs and love, hug.gif
Roisin

Posted by: Elspeth 12-May-2004, 06:15 AM
Thank you one and all for your overwhelming support and love.

Yes, my husband is on his own now, as he needs to be. And in that I have found an enormous peace. He is no longer my responsibility. That is a huge weight lifed off of me. I have found a peace and joy that I haven't experienced since before I met him. Life is good in the simple pleasures. May is an amazing month of beauty. My children are fun and silly.

My husband is nearing the bottom. He has had a few times where he saw himself clearly and didn't like what he saw. But, he isn't ready to quit yet. Please keep praying for him. He is close. And regardless of what happens between the two of us, he needs to be the man God created him to be, if for no other reason than to be the father he was created to be for his children.

Yes, I am an enabler no more. I needed to be for a time. Now it is time to let go. And it feels SO good to let go. He is in God's hands now. Thank God I no longer have that responsibility!

Thanks you guys! You're the best.


Elspeth

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 12-May-2004, 08:37 AM
Elspeth, you are a strong, compassionate woman!!!! I'm so proud of you. Yes I will continue to pray for your husband and your whole family.

Love,
Roisin

Posted by: CelticRose 12-May-2004, 05:27 PM
Hello friends. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Update: well mother gets released from the hospital today but she has been very beligerent and hateful towards my sister who took her to the hospital to begin with. My mother has been very angry, combative and hateful towards my sister who is trying to do the best she can to take care of her. My sister finally called me yesterday just sobbing. I wondered how long it was going to take..........knowing how nasty my mother can get. anyway, mother is back home now and maybe she will chill out.......maybe not. I just can't imagine my sister wanting to deal with all this for very long. They took my mother off all meds that keep her from having another stroke because they are causing bleeding internally and has had to have two blood tranfusions.

Doggy is much better today............thankfully. It was getting really old cleaning up after him.

Tomorrow I take my van in to the a/c fixed!

Other than that I am doing fine!

how about you all?

Posted by: mercyforme 12-May-2004, 07:35 PM
I am assuming you posted about this before...but your sister seems really sweet and loving to keep taking care of your mom even though she is making it hard. Why is your mom acting so mean to her daughter who is taking care of her?? And are you taking the stress of your mom being sick ok?? Hope all ends well smile.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 13-May-2004, 02:24 PM
QUOTE (mercyforme @ May 12 2004, 08:35 PM)
I am assuming you posted about this before...but your sister seems really sweet and loving to keep taking care of your mom even though she is making it hard. Why is your mom acting so mean to her daughter who is taking care of her?? And are you taking the stress of your mom being sick ok?? Hope all ends well smile.gif

Hi Mercy! My sister deserves sainthood for taking care of my mother. My mother has never been the easiest person to get along with. She was very angry with my sister for having her admitted back into the hospital and felt it unnecessary and provoked. However, she had no idea how she was when she was having the TIA! She forgets or is clueless what we have to deal with when she has these episodes. I was there when she had one of them and it totally freaked me out! It is really hard to know what to do! My sister is doing everything she can to keep her from going into a nursing home..........bless her. If she had been as ugly to me as she can be to my sister, I would have no problem putting her in one of those homes! She could take her anger out on someone else besides us who are trying to help her! Aren't I the mean and incompasionate one? rolleyes.gif Obviously I have no patience for that kind of behavior. It is stressful enough with her having these strokes all the time and having to go in and out of the hospital. my poor sister. I have it easy..............I live out of state!

Posted by: mercyforme 13-May-2004, 03:00 PM
I see, your mom didnt want help. My grandmother got breast cancer, didnt tell anyone it spread and she did die. In her case though I dont think she saw any point in living.
Be on the lookout in case your mom changes and wants you around. I mean, she might one day see you girls love her and she will want to show you she loves you.

Posted by: CelticRose 13-May-2004, 03:08 PM
Thank you Mercy! You mellowed me out! I needed to hear that cause up until now I have been so angry with my mother being so mean to my sister who has done everything in her life to take care of mother. I am flying back there in August to visit her and so hopefully she will be feeling better by then and I can handle things better. smile.gif

Posted by: mercyforme 13-May-2004, 03:17 PM
Your more than welcome!
I wonder if being in the situation your mom is feeling helpless, followed by the fact you said she wasnt easy going beforemaybe she is angry at her situation and taking it out on your sister?? But I hope she stops, give her love no matter what she says.
Maybe you could go get one of those things you squeeze when your stressed or angry. Marker a mean face on it to take your stress out on tongue.gif hang in there, and be a touchstone for your sister.

Posted by: CelticRose 13-May-2004, 03:27 PM
Oh thank you, Mercy! God must have given you the gift of encouragement I would say! A stress ball would be a great idea! LOL. My mother has always been very independent, so I am sure this really angers her having to be so dependent on others now.

Posted by: mercyforme 13-May-2004, 03:30 PM
Although I dont think my parents like me I would take care of them...hehe they would be in my house smile.gif But I think they would like my brother better, they all drink themselves into drunken crazies, it's a club I didnt join and now am looked down on, heh can you imagine that....
Is there anything good going for you today?

Posted by: CelticRose 13-May-2004, 04:51 PM
Hey Mercy! Yeah having a good day. My van is in the shop as the a/c went out in it and living in the desert, you don't want that to happen! LOL My dog who was sick is all better. Did some housework today and life is going good. What about you?

Posted by: mercyforme 13-May-2004, 05:03 PM
Kinda having a mood swing day, that part isnt easy..and no email from Mike which I love, so bummed about that. But there is some lemon cake with cream cheese in the fridge I am about to give into, that is something good!!!

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 14-May-2004, 08:21 AM
I had a good day yesterday: an online friend from Florida was passing thru and stopped in for a visit! She is one of the strongest Christians I've ever met, and has let her sometimes difficult life circumstances teach her to trust God's provision and care... what she had to say really was significant to me because I realized I needed to completely cut loose some 'baggage', some unrealistic hopes & empty goals. After she left, I tossed into the trash three applications for juried art events that would have been a total waste of my money and effort! That world is simply not for me any more and I know it, but I'm doing a "Lot's wife" thing: I keep gazing back at that world, thinking that if I only tried one more time maybe things would get better...

But I am not going the 'pillar of salt' route, no way! I'm on my way now down another path... one of freedom not based on other's opinions...


artist.gif

Posted by: Elspeth 14-May-2004, 08:45 AM
Good for you Siobhan! Glad you had a good day. God will use your talents in ways that He wants. I am sure you have so much to share. smile.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 14-May-2004, 04:08 PM
QUOTE (mercyforme @ May 13 2004, 06:03 PM)
Kinda having a mood swing day, that part isnt easy..and no email from Mike which I love, so bummed about that. But there is some lemon cake with cream cheese in the fridge I am about to give into, that is something good!!!

Hope you are having a better day, Mercy! That cakes sounds wonderful! Yum!

Posted by: CelticRose 14-May-2004, 04:12 PM
Oh what a lovely day you had SB! How wonderful it is when God uses people in our lives to teach us or guide us. I gave up that art world. I am saddened by it really, but I just don't see the purpose anymore. I am not interested in it. I am hoping a trip to the UK will get me inspired again. I am not inspired by anything anymore in doing artwork. I seem to prefer the work of others now more so. I want to see and do something different with my artwork and I am not sure what that is!

Posted by: mercyforme 14-May-2004, 04:56 PM
Today is a better day thanks, my neighbor lady bright me a present, I toook her some things last week and she was sweet and brought me something she thought I might like. Now how can I have a bad day when I get that sometimes people are so nice!!!

When it snows here again I am going to make lots wife!!!

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 14-May-2004, 11:10 PM
Hello all! I just wanted to post a bit of good news...I'm starting a new job coming this Monday at a Law Office. I will be assistanting the paralegals and conducting interogatories, filing and writing claim adjustments. I know it's not fiting within my degree, but the hours are wonderful. 9-5 monday thru Friday, weekends and holidays off. This type of schedule will fit perfectly for my family and lifestyle. I will be working up town New Orleans in a 19th century house---the atmosphere and ambiance is wonderful. Plus my boss is easy going, well at least one of my bosses is easy going. The other is a bit grumpy at times, so I'm told, but I can handle grumpy.
The pay is pretty good for not having any experience in this field. I bargined for my salary and persuaded my boss to give me more per hour than he orignally intended. It seems like it will be fun working there.

I just wanted to share my joy of God blessing me and my family with you guys. Thanks for all your prayers and concern.

Yours,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 14-May-2004, 11:16 PM
Oh, how so very nice Roisin! Sounds like a wonderful job that you will love in in everyway.........despite the grumpy lawyer! Keep us posted on how it goes.

Posted by: mercyforme 14-May-2004, 11:36 PM
Yes yes that is wonderful news, I am happy for you!!!! biggrin.gif

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 14-May-2004, 11:39 PM
Thanks Rosemary! I think this particular job will be a nice change and a challenge. I'll keep you posted.

Cheers,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 14-May-2004, 11:41 PM
QUOTE (mercyforme @ May 14 2004, 11:36 PM)
Yes yes that is wonderful news, I am happy for you!!!! biggrin.gif

Thank you mercyforme! smile.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 15-May-2004, 04:15 AM
QUOTE (Roisin-Teagan @ May 15 2004, 12:39 AM)
Thanks Rosemary! I think this particular job will be a nice change and a challenge. I'll keep you posted.

Cheers,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Please do, Roisin! I will be very anxious to hear how it all goes!

Posted by: wizardofowls 15-May-2004, 10:37 AM
I'm sorry that I haven't had a chance to keep up to date on this thread, but I always include you guys in my prayers!

I jsut wanted to give a praise report of sorts. My family has been enduring a lot in recent months. My wife has had to keep her grandmother, a good Christain woman, for many (Cant recall exact time) months, but in November after along battle with strokes and minin strokes, she passed away. My wife and daughter took it very hard. almost immediately after her death, my wife atarted getting physically sick. we took her to her normal doctor, but her doctor was out on leave sick, so we had to go to another doctor. This doctor said she had H. Pilori (sp?) and began treating her for that. However she just continued to get more sick, ahving adverse reactions to many of the medicined she was given. My mother in law told my wife that she thought that she was having gall bladder problems. When my wife brought this concern to the doctor, he refused to hear and contiuned treating her for what he perceived as the problem. Finally in February, my wifes normal doctor came back to work and on first examination of her said "You have gallstones!" So she had to have gall bladder surgery. My wife had a VERY hard time wiuth all of this! Becasue of enduring the gallstones for such an extended period of time, she couldn't each much of anything (applesauce, jello and such). she lsot 62 pounds during that time. The doctor said that he had NEVER seen gallsotnes as large as hers and didn't know how she had endured the pain for so long!

Well, anyway, my wife went back to work Monday, praise God, and is finally almsot back to her old self again! Now maybe our lives can get back to normal!

I've kinda rambled here, trying to get lots of thoughts down. Hope what ive written makes sense! smile.gif

Anyway, God bless you! And hang in there! We serve a BIG God and He has BIG shoulders!

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 15-May-2004, 11:27 AM
Allen,

I'm so glad to hear the good news concerning your wife. Gallstones are nothing to play with. For you see I had gallbladder disease with so many small gallstones it was giving me pancretitis and I almost died a few times though no one was telling me that. I couldn't eat anything with fat or spice and I was 5 months pregnant when we finally found out exactly what was wrong with me. The pain was so unbearable---I felt like I was having a heartattack when it would flare up, then I would end up throwing up (I'd rather give birth than go through this pain again). I was in and out of the hospital and miserable. Some male Doctors can be so patronizing toward women. Some never seem to listen to us. I think we as women know our own bodies. Anyway a month after my son was born, I had to have a digestive scope done to make sure there were no floating stones (Very tramatic experience because they didn't put me totally under. I kept waking up and pulling the scope out of my throat, because I felt like I was choaking). The very next day, I had biolazer surgery. After surgery, I felt so much better and got back to normal.

Well, I guess I said all this to let you know, "I know what your wife was going through." Thank God for good doctors and for good medicine. I'm so glad it all work out for your wife and your family.

Peace,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: mercyforme 15-May-2004, 02:10 PM
Glad your wife is feeling better. I always feel bad for those who are in pain, I am glad she has a husband like you to be with her in life.

Posted by: CelticRose 16-May-2004, 06:11 PM
Goodness Allen! your family has really been through it! I had gallbladder surgery back in November and was fully impacted with gallstones too. I had a wonderful doctor and he told me he couldn't believe I didn't have more pain than I did. I am glad to hear your wife is recovering and is ready to go back to work. I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law's passing though.

Roisin! You had a really rough time too! I hear that a diseased gallbladder can cause a lot of different problems. I am glad to hear you are lots better now.

You all are in my prayers!

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 16-May-2004, 11:57 PM
I'm asking you all to pray for me, because today is my first day at work and I got sick over the weekend. Right now it is 12:55 Monday morning and I'm sick as a dog. I need strength to get through the day and I need the Lord to heal me. I'm taking antiboditcs, but I'm still so weak. Your prayers will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Roisin

Posted by: CelticRose 17-May-2004, 12:27 AM
Oh, Roisin! I will certainly be praying for you. What a way to start out a new job? I feel terrible for you. Get better, my friend! Keep us posted on how your new jobs goes too.

Posted by: gaberlunzie 17-May-2004, 01:21 AM
After such a long time of struggles, fights and concerns I'm so glad today to be able to tell you a JOY...I'm feeling happy and want to share with you...
It's one of the small things in life. I have my very good girlfriend Marina. We both know each other for about 25 years now. We both moved several times in very different directions and we are not able to meet often but we phone and write and mail regularly.
This weekend we managed it to meet. She came to visit me and my sons for three days and we soent such a wonderful time together! The last time we met before is five years ago!
In a very hard time of very serious peoblems there have been these three days full of joy, laughter and harmony!
She's back home now but she left much of her love and friendship at my home...
I'm glad and very grateful and I thanked the Lord thathe showed me that there is a light shining even in the darkest hours!
Roisin, I'm praying for you, your health and your new job as well as for everybody else here...you are all in my thoughts, my friends!

Posted by: CelticRose 17-May-2004, 02:52 AM
Oh Gabby! Nothing more wonderful that a well spent time with a friend! I am so glad you had such a wonderful time together..........something you will treasure forever.

Posted by: Elspeth 17-May-2004, 07:19 AM
Hey gaberlunzie my friend, I am so glad you had a great few days. That light that shines in the darkness is so bright and warming isn't it? Praise God for that blessing.

Roisin, you will aready be gone to your first day by now, but I am praying you feel better and have a great first day.

Hey wizardman, glad your wife is better, but saddened (and angry) she had to suffer so much before getting the help she needed. Hopefully, you are past the rough spot. Losing her grandmother I am sure has had many effects upon her. That emptiness can last so long.

Hope everyone else is going well. The sun is shining here. A beautiful spring day. Hard not to smile on a day like today.

Posted by: gaberlunzie 17-May-2004, 07:39 AM
QUOTE (Elspeth @ May 17 2004, 08:19 AM)
Hey gaberlunzie my friend, I am so glad you had a great few days. That light that shines in the darkness is so bright and warming isn't it? Praise God for that blessing.

Roisin, you will aready be gone to your first day by now, but I am praying you feel better and have a great first day.

Hey wizardman, glad your wife is better, but saddened (and angry) she had to suffer so much before getting the help she needed. Hopefully, you are past the rough spot. Losing her grandmother I am sure has had many effects upon her. That emptiness can last so long.

Hope everyone else is going well. The sun is shining here. A beautiful spring day. Hard not to smile on a day like today.

Thank you, Rose, thank you Elspeth;
yes, this light is a very warm and bright one. It always brings a smile to my face. I treasure every second of this weekend; even her snoring at night LOL!
We had a whole weekend of these questions like "Do you remember?"..."Where are the old photos" and while looking at them giggles and laughter "Ooooh nooooo". We also went to see her Dad who doesn't live too far away from my town. I haven't seen him for more than 10 years. I spent many, many weekends at their house when my friend and me had been around 20 years old. Her Dad always called me his third daughter.
It was such a pleasure to meet him; I didn't count how many times we hugged during these few hours and how happy we all were.

I learnt a lot this weekend. And I'm so grateful. smile.gif

How are you today, Elspeth? You sound not too bad at all!

Posted by: Elspeth 17-May-2004, 09:00 AM
No, I am not too bad at all. I have been happier than I have been in 20 years. I finally have let go of thinking my husband is my responsibility. He's not. He's in God's hands. And my husband needs to make the choice whether to embrace that or not. But it is no longer my responsibility. I am free. smile.gif

Posted by: gaberlunzie 17-May-2004, 09:14 AM
Absolutely. I'm so glad for you. You are always in my thoughts and I'm praying for your husband to be able to find his way. Have a wonderful day, my friend!

Posted by: tsargent62 17-May-2004, 10:35 AM
Hi, everyone!

It's been a while since I've checked in. I can see a lot has happened.

Roisin, congrats on the new job! I hope it works out for you. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I know it's hard enough to start a new job, let alone give it your all when you don't feel good. I pray you feel better soon.

Rose, you poor girl. I'm sorry your mother isn't doing well. Your sister is a saint! I pray that your mother improves that that your sister can remain strong.

Allen, I'm glad your wife is doing better. I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law passing. I pray that God gives your family comfort and peace.

Elspeth, you sound so happy! I so glad for you. I know it took some strength to break the enabling chain. You go girl! I will pray for your husband, that he finally finds his way to getting help.

Gabby, I am so happy that you got to spend some quality time with Marina. Life has been so dark for you and I'm glad that you were able to let some light in, even if was only for a few days. I pray that the light will linger and that God will help you draw strength from it.

mercyforme, as I said in the General Discussion thread, I am so glad that you're getting help. I pray that God will guide you on your way to finding hapiness. You deserve it.

I care a great deal about all of you. I will, as always, pray for all my CR friends. May God's blessings and peace be upon you all.

Todd

Posted by: gaberlunzie 17-May-2004, 11:26 AM
Hi, Todd, my friend with the heart of gold; smile.gif
thank you for your kind words! How are you? How are things going for you and your family? You are in my thoughts and prayers, too!

Posted by: mercyforme 17-May-2004, 11:49 AM
tsargent62

beer_mug.gif here you go, it is rootbeer!!!

Posted by: tsargent62 17-May-2004, 12:20 PM
QUOTE (gaberlunzie @ May 17 2004, 12:26 PM)
Hi, Todd, my friend with the heart of gold; smile.gif
thank you for your kind words! How are you? How are things going for you and your family? You are in my thoughts and prayers, too!

Can't complain. Kids are all healthy. My wife could use some prayers, though. We just found out that 3 of the discs in her back are bad. She's been having back pain for several years and no one could tell her why. Finally our doctor took X rays and found the bulging discs. There isn't much they can do for her for now. She got a cortisone shot in her back this morning, so that should help with the pain.

Todd

Posted by: tsargent62 17-May-2004, 12:21 PM
QUOTE (mercyforme @ May 17 2004, 12:49 PM)
tsargent62

beer_mug.gif here you go, it is rootbeer!!!

Thanks!

Posted by: gtrplr 17-May-2004, 01:20 PM
QUOTE
Can't complain. Kids are all healthy. My wife could use some prayers, though. We just found out that 3 of the discs in her back are bad. She's been having back pain for several years and no one could tell her why. Finally our doctor took X rays and found the bulging discs. There isn't much they can do for her for now. She got a cortisone shot in her back this morning, so that should help with the pain.

Todd


Prayers you want, prayers you got. I have lower back pain myself from some minor nerve damage. Not bad and not constant, but annoying nonetheless. Maybe medical science will find a cure, and we'll all celebrate with a cold, frosty rootbeer.

Posted by: Raven 17-May-2004, 02:00 PM
Just so you all know I look in here and will pray for you even if I don't post.

Peace

Mikel

Although if I posted I could drive my total up tongue.gif

Posted by: mercyforme 17-May-2004, 03:08 PM
Nevermore

Posted by: CelticRose 17-May-2004, 05:11 PM
I am truly blessed everytime I read the forum! We have some really prayerful people in here and of all faiths. It is truly remarkable! Thank you for all your prayers and you are always in mine!

I am so happy to see you happy and free, Elspeth!

Todd, sorry to hear about your wife. I hope there is something they can do for her. I have the same issues with my back and so far there is not much they have done for me. I go to back massage often and that, believe it not, helps relieve a lot of pain, especially the sciatica I have with it. Maybe that would help your wife too. Just a thought.


Posted by: aklassie 18-May-2004, 03:02 AM
Just to update ya'll on my prayer request. My husband and I are working thing out with the help of our Lord. Thank you for your prayers. Just keep us there that the Lord's will will be done.

Posted by: aklassie 18-May-2004, 03:18 AM
Todd, sorry to hear about your wife. Just remember we have a great physisan who is standing at the right hand of God making intersestions for the saints. Only believe, ALL things are possible through Jesus Christ Our LORD!!

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 18-May-2004, 08:45 AM
I'm dropping a line or two to say thanks for all your prayers. My first day was hard because I was so sick, but as far as the job goes it was a good day. I'm still sick, but feeling a tad better. I think my fever broke. So again, thanks for your prayers and words of encouragment. I felt them!

Elspeth, wonderful news!!! Walking in freedom is an awesome experience. It's wonderful when we grasp and learn those life lessons God is/or has been trying to teach us. You are truly an inspiration to us all.

Todd, sorry to hear about your wife's situation. I will be praying for her.

Rose, Thanks for all your encouraging words and for just being the sweet, kind person that you are. You are kinda like our official "Kirk and Chapel" cheerleader. Keep shaking those pom-poms girl!!!

Gabby, your news about spending time with an old friend is wonderful. I too have old friends that I don't get to spend to much time with. When I read your post you made me want to call them all up and set up a time to get together.

mercyforme, Hi how are you. Glad to have you aboard the forum.

Take care everyone and have a wonderful day!!!

Peace,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 18-May-2004, 03:54 PM
Roisin! I am so glad to hear from you! I wondered how you are and how your first day was spent! Poor you..........being sick and all and on your first day! How do you think you will like the job?

AKlassie! Glad to hear that your marriage is getting on the mend. You take care!

Posted by: tsargent62 19-May-2004, 07:16 AM
I would like to ask everyone to pray for mercyforme, aka Delaine Brown. As you know she has decided to leave CR. I posted in the General Discussion forum as to why. In short, she decided she was spending too much time here and neglecting the things in her life that were important to her. She is seeing a doctor today so she can start working on her emotional problems. Pray that she will some day be happy and really learn to enjoy life. She seems like a sweet girl and she deserves to be happy.

Todd

Posted by: gaberlunzie 19-May-2004, 07:24 AM
Thank you for the information, Todd. I'm praying for her since her very first post. I'm honestly afraid this wasn't her only reason to leave. In fact I think it has to do with her problems and I recognised so many symptoms I know from people I am dealing with in my honorary work. I HOPE wholeheartedly that I am wrong, I'm praying with all my heart for her.

Posted by: tsargent62 19-May-2004, 08:03 AM
Gabs I hope you're wrong, too. Maybe you're more in tune to that kind of thing, but from the e-mail she sent me I sensed she is serious about dealing with life in a healthy manner. Here's the text of the e-mail:

QUOTE
I am so sorry I worried you, you may tell the friends
that I am fine not going to do anything to hurt
myself. And your very kind to check on me, thankyou
very much, I really cant put onto words how nice of an
act this is!
  WE had a death in the family, my uncle, last
Tuesday and no one bothered to tell me.....my almost
ex told me, mom said I proubly didnt care to know:( I
am angry about that....other things are going on I
just found out about that are bothering me about my
family. But I cannot take it to the boards now, It is
time to really deal with my life. I use those boards
to ditch reality, cant explain on that to well. But I
spend a great deal of time going to them and it isnt
healthy. I have slowed down in prayer, bible study and
walking since I got on there.
  Mike got me some seeds of pretty flowers and I am
going to grow them. I never cared about gardening till
lately and I think it would be good for me. I am going
to find or buy some rocks and border the flowers and
make my itty bitty front space beautiful. I have an
appt today with a doctor. I need it and think they
will help me cause I dont cope with life I run from
it.
  I wasnt sure what to write on the boards, I
suddenly didnt want to share my every thought, feel
like I shouldnt have before. But it is a good feeling
having people care about me. I hope your life and
family are well! They are blessed to have you:) Take
care of yourself and them.
        Delaine


I hope that after reading it you'll agree with my assessment. I will definitely be praying for her.

Todd

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 19-May-2004, 08:07 AM
QUOTE (Roisin-Teagan @ May 15 2004, 12:10 AM)
Hello all! I just wanted to post a bit of good news...I'm starting a new job coming this Monday at a Law Office. I will be assistanting the paralegals and conducting interogatories, filing and writing claim adjustments. ..I just wanted to share my joy of God blessing me and my family with you guys. Thanks for all your prayers and concern.

Yours,
Roisin

Hey, that's good news! Congrats on the new job... my dad is a retired attorney so I know what you're in for. Don't worry, you'll enjoy it! Its never dull, always different, and you'll meet some neat folks.

Posted by: gaberlunzie 19-May-2004, 08:22 AM
Todd;

that's what we all should do: Pray that she'll find her way. I wish her all the strength and courage to start walking it and never stop again from the bottom of my heart. She deserves it so much.

Posted by: Elspeth 19-May-2004, 10:35 AM
Was off the computer yesterday and am just catching up. Wow, lots happening.

I pray mercy will be OK and she is really getting the help she needs.

akalassie, Go with God. Marriage relationships can be so darn confusing, can't they. I pray you'll both find peace and the path you are meant to be on.

Roisin - glad you had a good first day. I kept wondering.....

Todd, your wife just seems to get more and more dumped on her. Tell her your friends on here say to take care of herself. Massages like Rose said, hot baths, whatever she needs. smile.gif

I hope I didn't forget anybody. If I did - prayers for you as well! God knows even when I forget. smile.gif

Posted by: wizardofowls 19-May-2004, 08:17 PM
Hello, everyone!

I just wanted to drop a note to ask everyone to be in prayer for my family tomorrow. I told you in a previous post that my daughter had been suspended from school for a threat that she had made against a classmate. We were told that she couldn't come back to school until she had a psychiatric evaluation. Well, her evalutaion is tomorrow, starting at 9:30 am (I'm on the east coast) and will probably last 5 to 6 hours! Please pray strength for us as well as wisdom and freedom from fear and worry.

I pray for you guys every day even though some days I'm not able to keep up to date on all of your posts or make posts myself. I hope all is well for you and for your loved ones!

Your Brother In Christ

Posted by: gaberlunzie 20-May-2004, 06:38 AM
My thoughts are with all of you, wizard...especially with your daughter. Keep us posted!

Posted by: CelticRose 20-May-2004, 01:45 PM
QUOTE (gaberlunzie @ May 20 2004, 07:38 AM)
My thoughts are with all of you, wizard...especially with your daughter. Keep us posted!

Allen, I am anxious to hear how things went. I prayed for you last night! Keep us posted!

Posted by: aklassie 21-May-2004, 02:29 AM
What a crazy world we're living in. Allen you're in my prayers.
Thank you all for your prayers. Todd, thank you for sharing the email from
mercy. Everytime I think of her I just want to cry. Praying for always. She needs all of our prayers. I pray that God will holds her safe in the palm of his hand.
It's so wonderful having this thread. Praise the Lord. We have a place where we can share. With brothers and sisters in Christ. I thank Him daily for all of you.
You are all in my prayers.
Your sister in Christ.
Glenda

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 21-May-2004, 04:23 AM
Hey, Wizard I am anxious to learn how the session went with your daughter. I'm coming late so I just read what just posted on the 19th. So keep us posted.

S.Blues and Elspeth: Thanks for the encouragment. The job is going good. I like my bosses---they are very easy going.

I'm praying for all of you: Gabby, Todd, Allen, Rosemary, S. Blues, Glenda, and Elspeth and especially for mercyforme. Guys you all are like an extended family---someone to lean on when in trouble or going through something hard. I just wanted to say thanks for being there and may God bless you all with His riches and love!

Love and hugs,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 21-May-2004, 02:31 PM
I praise God and Paul for allowing us to have this forum!

Posted by: aklassie 21-May-2004, 04:29 PM
AMEN ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Posted by: wizardofowls 21-May-2004, 08:29 PM
Well, here is an update on the Evaluation Testing...

We spent a large part of the day at the doctor's office. He was a very nice guy and very peasant, but as nice as he was, it was still difficult for Tiffany to endure 5 solid hours of taking written test after written test. She started getting a little testy and antsy toward the end, but she survived. This however is just the start. He has to go over all of the tests and will let us know what the next step will be and where we go from here. she will home-schooled by a school-assigned tutor for the remainder of this school year. They have also classified her as "emotionally disturbed," which - though it sounds bad - is good becasue now she qualifies for special help from the school system in adjusting and for help with her school work. Not sure if she will get to go back to school next year! Depends on the test results. I hope she does get to go back! She needs the help in building her social skills since she has almost no one at home her age to play with.

Well, thats it for now. I will try to keep you updated as things progress.THANK YOU ALL for your thoughts prayers and good wishes through all of this. I wish I could say it was over for her, but I'm not afraid or worried! He IS a BIG GOD and I know that if He watches over the sparrows and the grass of the field that He cares about us and what we must endure. He never said that the road would be easy, but He did say that He would be with us, even unto the end...

THANK GOD for that! smile.gif

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Your Brother In Christ.

Posted by: CelticRose 21-May-2004, 10:26 PM
Allen, thanks for the update. Tell me how old Tiffany is again? Just curious.

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 22-May-2004, 10:22 AM
Allen, Thanks for the update. I don't believe the report of the doctor that Tiffany is "emotionally disturbed" maybe "emotionally distressed". School these days are war zones, both physically and emotionally. Kids have to deal with so much and it can take it's toll on a child that is had enough of all the pressure. I remember when I was in school you had to manuver through the different clicks, bullies, idiots, and some hard teachers who were just plain burned out. In addition, the work load is three times it was when we were growing up---phew!!!

Tell Tiffany I said, I'm proud she didn't lose her cool with the therapist. Tell her I said stay strong and remember who you are and don't let anyone tell you different. You are a child of God, a child of a God who loves you dispite your flaws and all. And He'll help you through this situation. I'm praying for you.

Allen, I just wanted to encourage you and your wife: Remember what you wrote about suffering and the Lord helping you through this situation? I just wanted to add that...Just as the Lord didn't run from His suffering or stop it by calling 10,000 legions of angels to his rescue, but he walked through it and He triumphed over the suffering. You too will triumph over this suffering, just keep your eyes on the Lord's promises as you walk through the fires and the floods. You will neither be burned up or overtaken by the floods. Maybe you already know all this, but I just wanted to share it with you anyway.

Peace,
Love and hugs,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: wizardofowls 22-May-2004, 07:29 PM
Thanks Rosie and Roisin for the kind words of encouragement! Even though I may have known those things, Roisin, It never hurts to be reminded of them! Thanks for being such good friends! I hope some day we'll get to meet each other! Maybe even at the reunion! And if not, I'll be looking for you at the BIG reunion! smile.gif

Rosie, Tiffany is eleven! Awfully young to have to go through all of this mess! but she's a fighter and she has all of us praying for her, so I have no doubt that everything is going to be okay for her!

You're in my thoughts and prayers!

Your Brother In Christ!

Posted by: MacEoghainn 22-May-2004, 07:38 PM
QUOTE (wizardofowls @ May 22 2004, 09:29 PM)
And if not, I'll be looking for you at the BIG reunion! smile.gif

An old Navy buddy of mine always would say:"See you here, there, or in the air"

Posted by: Elspeth 23-May-2004, 08:44 PM
wizard, take joy in all the little family moments that haven't changed amidst all the testing and such. Draw stregnth from each other and keep reminding yourself this too shall pass.

Along with what Roisin said, I want to add for you to remember that you and your wife are great parents to be addressing the situation as you are, doing whatever is best for your daughter, even when difficult. Many wouldn't take that route. She will be blessed because of your devotion to her.

Love her hard, love your wife hard and love yourself hard. Do something fun as a family.

I know I'm rambling, but when we had trouble with our 11 year old daughter, what I needed most was to be reminded what 'normal' was. It was all about drawing into our famliy. The family God created for us to be living in.

Posted by: CelticRose 23-May-2004, 09:01 PM
QUOTE (wizardofowls @ May 22 2004, 08:29 PM)
Thanks Rosie and Roisin for the kind words of encouragement! Even though I may have known those things, Roisin, It never hurts to be reminded of them! Thanks for being such good friends! I hope some day we'll get to meet each other! Maybe even at the reunion! And if not, I'll be looking for you at the BIG reunion! smile.gif

Rosie, Tiffany is eleven! Awfully young to have to go through all of this mess! but she's a fighter and she has all of us praying for her, so I have no doubt that everything is going to be okay for her!

You're in my thoughts and prayers!

Your Brother In Christ!

You have been a great friend to me, Allen! you and your family are in my prayers. Hope we get to meet face-to-face one day too! Either here or up in the air as MacE says! Keep us up-to-date! Eleven years old, eh? Well she has lots of years ahead of her, a lot of healing can take place through those years. Kids can be so hard on each other at this age. Keep us posted, friend!

Posted by: Elspeth 23-May-2004, 09:03 PM
This isn't really a concern, but I just want to say it somewhere.

I am sad. sad.gif Two more stories of mine were rejected. I know, hardly the end of the world and there are the stories of how many bazillion rejections famous authors had, but I'm just a bit discouraged. I'd just like a little bone tossed my way. OK an entire skeleton, but it has to start somewhere.

Thanks for listening to the whiner. rolleyes.gif

E

Posted by: tsargent62 24-May-2004, 07:38 AM
QUOTE (Elspeth @ May 23 2004, 10:03 PM)
This isn't really a concern, but I just want to say it somewhere.

I am sad. sad.gif Two more stories of mine were rejected. I know, hardly the end of the world and there are the stories of how many bazillion rejections famous authors had, but I'm just a bit discouraged. I'd just like a little bone tossed my way. OK an entire skeleton, but it has to start somewhere.

Thanks for listening to the whiner. rolleyes.gif

E

I understand your discouragement. It's hard to be rejected when you feel good enough about a work to actually submit it for publication. I would encourage you to try submitting it to a different publisher. Maybe submit it to several. It's just like they say about hockey: If you keep putting shots on the net, one's bound to go in eventually.

Keep the faith!

Posted by: tsargent62 24-May-2004, 07:45 AM
Allen,

I'm glad Tiffany was willing to endure the testing. It's too bad she had to. Although it's hard to live with labels, maybe having her classified and having special programs from the school will help.

I think it speaks well of you and your wife as parents to be so willing to seek help for Tiffany instead of saying, "No, not my little girl! She's fine!" Even though you were forced to have her evaluated it's good you're willing to consider she may need help and be willing to get it.

I pray that your family will have the strength to deal with all this and that all will end well for your daughter.


Todd

Posted by: CelticRose 24-May-2004, 02:55 PM
Oh Elspeth! I am so very sorry. I know how hard that hurts whenever I have gotten my artwork rejected. you just have to keep plugging along and doors will open. My sister-in-law I told you about who is a published author, still gets rejections! So hang in there and try, try again! And you are NOT whining!

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 25-May-2004, 07:07 PM
Elspeth,

There is a saying that says, "It is better to have loved and lost, then to have never have loved at all (paraphrased)" I think it can apply to your situation if I stretch it to say...You'll never know love if your not willing to be vunerble and risk exposing your heart. The same can be said for your willings to risk rejection by exposing your heart through your writing. It takes real guts to give away something you labored over with love, sweat, and tears knowing it could be rejected. Let each and every rejection make you more defiant and more determined to push even harder and knock on every last door, even to the point of putting your foot in the crack of the door when the person on the other end is trying to crush it.

A lot of people dream of being a writer or say, "I'm a writer or poet," but never cross that line of possible rejection because they are afraid it would blow the dream a part----But Elspeth you are a writer (A real writer). Be fearless, set your eyes like flint on the prize---write because you love it, you believe in it, you breath it into your soul and it drives your passion even further.

Onething that I learned about most of the best writers of the 20th Century is that they all read everything they could get their hands on. Many admitted that reading made them better writers. So devour all the literature you can get "your" hands on and learn from the Masters.

Love and hugs, hug.gif
Roisin

Posted by: Elspeth 26-May-2004, 07:08 AM
Roisin,

Thank you so much for your words.

I had decided just this morning that I should let my dreams of being published quietly slip away. That it was a silly, fanciful dream. Time spent on a selfish enterprise when I should be doing something more tangibly productive.

I don't know where my place is. For now I am taking it as it comes. Writing for church and friends and tossing out there those works I have written.

E

Posted by: Elspeth 26-May-2004, 10:09 AM
I have a friend whose son is heading down the wrong road and refuses to consider other options. Please pray for both him and his mother. It must be devestating to watch your only child do this and not be able to do a thing about it.

Posted by: CelticRose 26-May-2004, 02:19 PM
QUOTE (Elspeth @ 26-May-2004, 08:08 AM)
Roisin,

Thank you so much for your words.

I had decided just this morning that I should let my dreams of being published quietly slip away. That it was a silly, fanciful dream. Time spent on a selfish enterprise when I should be doing something more tangibly productive.

I don't know where my place is. For now I am taking it as it comes. Writing for church and friends and tossing out there those works I have written.

E

Please don't give up, Elspeth! I hate to see another person give up on their dream like I have done. I have no desire to even paint anymore. It was my heart's desire to go to Scotland to paint and yet I just want to go there and enjoy the trip and not worry about paint brushes, sketch books or anything. I will take my camera for sure and perhaps the whole experience will inspire me to get back into painting again..............I hope. Even if it doesn't I would have still loved the trip, I am sure.
You hang in there and keep at it, gal! My sister-in-law goes through periods like that too and yet things tend to turn up for her.........it will for you.

Oh so sad about your friend's son. It is sad to see children do these things. hopefully he will come around through the prayers of family and friends. keep us posted.

Posted by: gtrplr 26-May-2004, 02:44 PM
Ahem. Is this thing on? (taps on microphone) Testing One, Two, Three. . .

May I have your attention, please, for an important announcement?

DON'T GIVE UP YOUR DREAMS!!!!

Thank you.

About five years ago, I put my six-string claymore (that's guitar to you) in its case and had no intention of taking it out again. I spent more time learning how to play it than a doctor or lawyer spends learning their business, and here I was barely scraping by. I had played in bands for over twenty years, in bars for drunks (and with drunks) who couldn't care less. I felt my time was gone, I had no chance of being a 'star'. I was tired of the massive b.s. So I quit.

Then a chance meeting at a restaurant gave me a new direction, fresh ideas and _renewed dreams_. Now, I play with a trio doing mainly old cowboy music (Marty Robbins, Sons of the Pioneers) as well as in church. I'm planning to buy some recording equipment in the next few weeks to start recording a new project.

Elspeth, try a new direction. Write something totally different, shorter, longer, whatever. Just don't stop.

CR, take your paints with you. Don't worry about them, don't feel you _have_ to use them. But if you don't take them, you'll miss them, and wish you had.

Don't quit. Fail, yes. But don't quit. Don't _ever_ quit.

Posted by: tsargent62 27-May-2004, 08:11 PM
Very wise advice my friend. I really believe that God gives us our artistic gifts. It's up to us to figure out how to use them. For me, it was to use my musical gifts in pipe band drumming. I was lucky enough to find that out early in life.

My point is that my drumming has brought me great experiences and joy. Like gtrlpr says, never give up your dreams. You never know where they'll take you.

Todd

Posted by: CelticRose 27-May-2004, 10:51 PM
Thank you for your encouragement, gtrplr! I don't know what is the matter with me, but I just do not have any desire to paint anymore. I have tried for the past two years and everything I TRY to do, turns out a bomb! I am so discouraged. Why bother? I even quit selling a couple years ago, so why paint? What the heck am I going to do with all these art projects.........my studio is full enough of my crap! why gather more? I have dreamt and dreamt about being the successful artist and it never happened to me. I am 50 years old now. If it ain't going to happen now, it ain't going to happen at all! I am tired of all the work, blood, sweat, and tears that goes into a piece and just tired of trying. Now photography? I can get into. I love it! would rather spend my time, money, and energy into that. I majored in photography in college and did very well. I think I will go back into that, whether I sell or not.............I will always do it!

Posted by: tsargent62 28-May-2004, 10:03 AM
There you go, Rose! If photography is what you love, then go for it!

BTW: So what if you're 50. You still have a lot of life left in front of you. I'm only 8 years younger than you. Don't let the "I'm too old for this" syndrome get you. Just relax and let the art flow through you. I find with my drumming that if I try too hard, I don't play well. It's when I relax and go to that quiet place within me that my music flows. I believe it's the same for any art, whether music, painting or photography.

Posted by: gtrplr 28-May-2004, 01:33 PM
QUOTE
BTW: So what if you're 50. You still have a lot of life left in front of you. I'm only 8 years younger than you. Don't let the "I'm too old for this" syndrome get you. Just relax and let the art flow through you. I find with my drumming that if I try too hard, I don't play well. It's when I relax and go to that quiet place within me that my music flows. I believe it's the same for any art, whether music, painting or photography.


Remember:

John Wayne ("The Duke") won an oscar for True Grit at age 62.
Winston Churchill became Prime Minister of Great Britain at 64.
Grandma Moses, who only started serious painting in her 70s, staged her first solo show at age 80. She worked for another 20 years.
Fred Lasby completed a solo around-the-world flight in his single engined Piper Commanche at 82.
Benjamin Franklin invented bi-focals at 83.
In 1971, Pablo Picasso was still at work as a painter, as was Georgia O'Keffe in 1977. Both were 90.
In 1976, Sir Robert Mayer toured the U.S. with the London Schools Symphony Orchestra, which he had founded 25 years earlier. He was 97.

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 28-May-2004, 01:40 PM
CR, you are so hard on yourself... I would call you a perfectionist but I'm afraid you'll throw a box of colored pencils at me! angel_not.gif

I too go round & round with the "sales equals success" question and it is bewildering trying to figure it out. But the words of my mentor, the mighty Sir ("sell to paint, don't paint to sell" - "follow your inspiration and your audience will find you") keeps coming to mind. And you know Sir is ALWAYS right! laugh.gif

I still believe that if we create the art we're inspired to create, the actual creative process is immeasurably good for our own soul. We're being creators just like the Almighty is the ultimate Creator, and for awhile we can share in the joy He felt when He created this world... we can be alongside God for awhile in a very special way, and we're getting a glimpse of the one thing that is central to His entire being: creating.
So if its painting or drawing, sculpture or photography - its for our own good that He's given us these abilities. Selling simply is not the main reason you or I have been given these gifts; its the reason some people have been given abilities, but not us. Somehow we've got to take our eyes off the idea that not selling a lot means we're not good - we've got to backtrack and get back to the very basic idea of what creativity is designed to do: rejuvinate us, renew us, and let us have some fun!


Posted by: CelticRose 28-May-2004, 04:31 PM
You all are so right! Go ahead SB. Throw that box of colored pencils at me! I got so discouraged with the Aragorn drawing for you that I threw him away! Yep, you read right! I just couldn't get him the way I wanted him to look!

Got me a new digital camera and so now I am playing with that! Having much more fun too! Doesn't take up room in my studio, don't care if I sell any photos, just enjoying photographing everything I can get my hands on! I feel much more free doing photography for some reason than I ever did doing artwork.

Thanks for all your encouragement, guys!

Posted by: aklassie 29-May-2004, 03:41 AM
Hey, so you'r 50!!! Don't people say tha life beings at 40? So that means you're only 10 years old and I've just turned 11. kid.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 30-May-2004, 06:48 PM
QUOTE (aklassie @ 29-May-2004, 04:41 AM)
Hey, so you'r 50!!! Don't people say tha life beings at 40? So that means you're only 10 years old and I've just turned 11. kid.gif

Hey! I love it AKlassie! Plus you are lucky enough to live in Alaska too! I always thought I wanted to live there! Don't like snow though! rolleyes.gif

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 30-May-2004, 09:45 PM
Hey Guys, I have some more news!!! Most of you know I just starting working at an Attorney's Office, and that has been going pretty good. Well, two weeks into this job I received a call from a vice-principle from a private all boys Catholic High School who got my name from a private all girls Catholic school and they want me to come in for an interview this Tuesday for the position of teaching 4 units of 12th grade British Lit. and 1 unit of 11th grade American Lit. The pay is good (more than what I'm making now), because I already had experience as a high school teacher. What is more important the job has excellent benefits and a retirement program.

My problem is this...My boss at the Law Office told me when he hired me that I was over qualified for the job, but I talked him into hiring me. He told me he didn't want this to be just a 3 or 4 month gig for me. I told him it wasn't and the hours were perfect for my lifestyle. Now I know I don't have the teaching job yet, but what if I'm hired? What do I tell my present boss?

I feel excited about teaching again, but at the same time a little daunted. I have never taught British Lit or American Lit before. I do have a minor in both English Lit and English Writing (though you couldn't tell by my writing now). I don't know if I really want to teach again. But if I don't go for it, I might regret it later. Any advice??????? And please pray for me!!

Posted by: Elspeth 31-May-2004, 12:06 PM
Oh Roisin! Dilemnas!!!! But options are always better than no options. smile.gif

Advice - go on the interview. Get the info. No use trying to make the descision before you have the facts. wink.gif God will let you know where he wants you to be. And if that means teaching, then you tell your current boss you are very sorry, but that is the way life sometimes goes. You didn't go into that job with the intention of leaving after a couple of months. Your conscious is clear.

You will have no problem teaching these subjects. So what if you have to brush up a little?

I will pray that God makes it REAL clear to you where he wants you to be so you have no doubts. smile.gif

Good luck and God Bless.

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 31-May-2004, 01:19 PM
Thanks Elspeth!!!! I'm going to the interview. cool.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 01-Jun-2004, 02:02 PM
OMG! Roisin! What a thing to happen! Sounds like a wonderful opportunity! I can understand your concern about the attorney, but hey! tha t is life and you have to look out what is best for you and your family. That is what he would do! Like Elspeth said........go on the interview and your heart will tell you what to do from there. I am praying for you and please keep us posted. We'll be anxious to hear!

Posted by: tsargent62 02-Jun-2004, 09:10 AM
Roisin, I would definitely go on the interview. It's like Elspeth was saying, it never hurts to get the facts and, if the offer comes, make an informed decision. Then you'd have all summer to brush up on the subjects you'd be teaching. I believe God puts the opportunities he really wants us to take squarely before us. At least that seems to be how my life has worked out. If the attorney you work for is really the good guy you said he is, I'm sure he would understand.

I'll be praying for God to guide you.

Todd

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 02-Jun-2004, 12:16 PM
unsure.gif I don't know if I'd leave the attorney's office job though... they did say they didn't want it to be a short-term thing and they're expecting you to stick around awhile...

SB

Posted by: BluegrassLady 02-Jun-2004, 09:26 PM
Hello,
I am a new member and have been visiting many forums. One of the things that has impressed me the most is the sense of friendship, acceptance and support in each one. I just wanted to say how happy I am that I found such a special place and hope that I will soon really be a part of this "family".
Janet

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 02-Jun-2004, 09:47 PM
Welcome Janet, we are glad to have you become a part of our family!!!

Hey Guys, I went on the interview. The vice-principle talked to me, and then four minutes into the interview he said he was looking for someone with a few more years experience. I was taken aback because on the phone he knew how much experience I had and was trying to talk me into coming in for a face to face interview. Go figure??? What I gather is another teacher with 10 years experience was suppose to come in for an interview scheduled exactly the same time as mine. He thought I was that woman. He said he was going to keep my resume for future reference. I guess it just isn't God's will. But at least I tried. I do like working at the law office though. Thanks for all your encouragement and prayers. I'd rather have a God opprotunity than a good opprotunity. I'm O.K. and I know God is in control---I want His will and nothing else.

Love and Hugs,
Roisin angel_not.gif

Posted by: BluegrassLady 02-Jun-2004, 11:43 PM
Roisin,

Thanks for the welcome.


I'm sorry that your interview didn't pan out for you. Perhaps God means for you to stay at the law office for the time being. It seemed from your past writings that you were concerned about letting your present boss down. You might be needed there more right now.

May God's blessings be with you.

Janet

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 03-Jun-2004, 12:26 AM
Thanks Janet! cool.gif

Posted by: aklassie 03-Jun-2004, 03:46 AM
Hi Janet,
Welcome aboard. I hope you will visit often. I think we're a good bunch of people to hang out with. As you can see we here in this thread really love the Lord and love sharing.
Rosin, Sorry about the job interview. But all thing work out according to God's will. We just have to waite sometimes for it. God bless you.

Posted by: BluegrassLady 03-Jun-2004, 11:07 AM
Thanks for the warm welcome, aklassie. I agree with you that this is a great place to hang out. Plan to spend plenty of time here.

God Bless,

Janet smile.gif

Posted by: tsargent62 03-Jun-2004, 11:58 AM
Hi, Janet! Welcome to our family! If you've read many of the posts in the forum, especially in this thread, I'm sure you've noticed that we are a very supportive, caring group. We feel comfortable talking about anything, knowing that we will have many friends praying for us when we need it. I hope you will post often and enjoy!

Roisin, it sounds like you're a little disappointed the teaching job didn't work out. I hope sometime in the future that God will decided to arrange an opportunity for you to return to it. In the meantime, I'm glad you do have a job you enjoy.

Posted by: gtrplr 03-Jun-2004, 03:33 PM
Welcome, Janet! I have to agree that this is a caring, supportive group. Even the folks I don't agree with are courteous. We're all glad you're here. Enjoy.

Posted by: CelticRose 03-Jun-2004, 04:32 PM
First of all, Janet! Welcome to our family here on CR! It is really nice to have you here on the site! Hope you get to make some many friends here as I have!

Roisin! well it sounds like God worked it all out for what is best and I am glad to hear that you are happy with that result. Glad you went on the interview, you would have never known otherwise. Glad you like your new job and that you can honor your commitment to the lawyer! After what Siobhan blues said, then I got to thinking maybe she was right instead of what I had encouraged you to do. anyway, God worked it all out! Thanks for keeping us apprised of the situation!

Posted by: BluegrassLady 03-Jun-2004, 08:18 PM
[SIZE=7]A big thank you to all who have welcomed me so warmly. What a great feeling knowing that there are friends in so many places.

Posted by: WizardofOwls 03-Jun-2004, 09:02 PM
Hi Janet!

SO glad you decided to join us here at the Kirk and Chapel! We considered you part of the family as soon as you opened the door! smile.gif Come back often and let us know how things are going for you, areas you'd like us to help you pray about, or just to chat! You'll find that we all love to talk about the goodness of God and what great things He has done for us! I Look forward to getting to know you better through your posts


Hi RT!

You wrote: "I'd rather have a God opprotunity than a good opprotunity." I LOVE this! Is this original or just something you've picked up along the way?

And by the way, about this job interview - Think of it this way. You now have your foot in the door should another teaching job come along! If you hadn't gone at all, then you most likely wouldn't get called again if something else came up! So good for you! I'm glad you at least decided to go check it out!

Isn't it comforting to know that God IS in control? Nothing can happen to us that He doesn't already know about! We're in His hands, and if WE are in His hands, then so are the problems!

You are all in my thoguhts and prayers.

Your Brother in Christ

Posted by: BluegrassLady 03-Jun-2004, 10:22 PM
Thanks, WizardofOwls. It's good to be part of a spiritual support system. I know that I certainly need it.

Posted by: CelticRose 04-Jun-2004, 05:46 PM
Don't we all, Bluegrasslady! so great to have you here with us!

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 04-Jun-2004, 10:52 PM
QUOTE (WizardofOwls @ 03-Jun-2004, 09:02 PM)
Hi RT!

You wrote: "I'd rather have a God opprotunity than a good opprotunity." I LOVE this! Is this original or just something you've picked up along the way?

And by the way, about this job interview - Think of it this way. You now have your foot in the door should another teaching job come along! If you hadn't gone at all, then you most likely wouldn't get called again if something else came up! So good for you! I'm glad you at least decided to go check it out!

Isn't it comforting to know that God IS in control? Nothing can happen to us that He doesn't already know about! We're in His hands, and if WE are in His hands, then so are the problems!

You are all in my thoguhts and prayers.

Your Brother in Christ

Hello Allen,

Thanks for the encouragement and all your support.

Yes I picked that line up from my Pastor...just this Wed night at the Youth meeting which I co-lead with him (more like an assistant). But anyway, he was talking to the Youth and told them that there are three doors all will people face. 1. the door of temptation 2. the door of opprotunity (and) 3. the door of decision. When he was explaining the 2nd door he told a story where he faced going to one College to become a Commerical Artist (Which was a good opprotunity) or going to bible college to be near where his future wife was going to be attending. Well he was accepted at the bible college and at the University, but God told him in his heart, "No, I want you to go to International Bible College in San Antonia, TX. He said those other offers were 'good opprotunities' but where God wanted him to go was a 'God opprotunity.' So there's the story where I picked it up.

I want to say thank you's to S.Blues (who was totally on the money), Rosemary (that's CelticRose to you guys) and to Todd and all the others who have been so supportive through this whole situation. Yes at first I was disappointed, because I felt like a failure. Then I realized, I'm standing right where God wants me to stand. So, after done all...I will stand still, stand still and know He is God. (Sorry, I'm being so Christian-ese). But...I'm...

I'm so excited!!!!! GOD IS SO AWESOME!!!!

I just came back from Jason Morant's CD Release Party/Concert...It was rockin, and I mean rockin. I never jumped or danced so much in my life. His music is so wonderful. Especially the new songs off his Abandon CD coming to a bookstore near you June 8th. He played an old U2 song entitled "Gloria." It was awesome!!!! The place was jumping. It was more than a concert, it was a time of total abandonment and worship to the Lord. I wish you guys could have been there. I hope if he comes near your town you'll take the time and go see him in concert. Anyway, I'm blessed and I just wanted to share it with you guys.

Love and Hugs,
Peace,
Roisin

angel_not.gif

Posted by: urian 05-Jun-2004, 11:13 PM
*Pulls up a chair and sits down*
*sigh*
I know I'm still new here and unknown but this seemed like the place to get this off my chest.
My father left my mother a year and a half ago. They had been married for 29 years at the time. This was a huge blow to the family. We found out he hadn't been paying the house note or any of the other bills(major ones). He left her and my brother to fend for themselves. (I say that but danny was 25 and was employed so they did have an income. just not enough to get caught up on the bills.) They lost the house, cars, everything. March of last year was the last time that anyone heard from him. He called my estrasnged wife and asked to see the kids. She told him to go to hell.
This would have been traumatic enough, by itself. But, my separation was only about six month old at the time and the wounds were very fresh. So, aside from my own sorrows, I was trying to deal with my father leaving my mother AND leaving her in the lurch he left her in.
Fast forward to a few days ago. I get home and I haev a message on my answering machine....from my dad. I didn't know my number wasn't unlisted. He said he wanted to talk and that he loved me. I broke down.
Rage, anger, sadness, all the emotions that I had thought I delt with over the course of the past 1 year 1/2 all came back up. He called today and left his number but I haven't called.
I know , in trying to be a good person, I should call him back and see if we can work something out. If not for my sake, then for my kids'. But ,still, I'm human and I have a lot of resentment towards that man. The worst part is this is the second time in 10 years he's left her. True, the first time was for 4 months but I don't think that matters.
I know I should call him back...but I don't know if I should...

Anyway..I'll shutup

Posted by: CelticRose 05-Jun-2004, 11:36 PM
Roisin, I don't know if I gave you sound advice or not and I feel badly about that. But it sounds like God took control of everything and worked it all out for you despite what any of us had to say.

Wow! I love the 3-door message! That is really terrific! And isn't it so very true?

Glad you got to enjoy a great concert and have a terrific time praising the Lord!


Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 05-Jun-2004, 11:43 PM
*Pulls up a chair next to yours---with a look of concern*

urian,

There are absolutely no easy answers to this situation. Your father betrayed your mother, you and really your whole family. His act of betrayal is terrible. He killed the dream that says families are there for oneanother no matter what. He broke a sacred trust. Even though you are a grown you are still his child. No matter how big we get, we look to our parents as a source of strength and dependablity.

You have a choice to forgive him. Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a choice. As Christians we are commanded to forgive by Christ because he forgave us so much. I don't even know if you are a Christian, or if you even have a religion, but you can still choose to forgive. Your father did reach out to you. Try and hear him out. Tell him exactly how you feel and how he hurt you. But don't let his reaction dictate your decision to forgive. Choose to forgive because it is the right thing to do. You can still forgive him and at the same time not condone his behavior. When you forgive someone you are not freeing them but yourself.

Maybe your father was under a lot of stress. My grandfather did the same thing to my grandmother. He kept taking all their money out of the bank and leaving town. We found out later he was having a nervous breakdown and couldn't take the pressure. He lost his two businesses and two homes and property. The whole family suffered and lost everything. But my grandmother went back to him and took care of him. So sometimes things seem oneway on the surface, but if we probe a little deeper we may discover underling causes. Urian, give your father a chance to explain himself. I do believe that he does love you. Maybe guilt pushed him to call you or maybe he is crying out for help.

I hope this helps you in making your decision. I will pray for you...I will pray that God will reveal his grace to you for this situation.

Love and hugs,
Roisin

Posted by: CelticRose 05-Jun-2004, 11:47 PM
Urian! I feel so badly for you and your family! wish I had some really profound things to say that were full of wisdom, but I do not. I can only imagine how hurtful that has been for you and your family! Betrayal has to be the biggest sin of all, I think! Well, who am I to judge! I just appreciate your honesty in sharing and will hold you up in prayer! Thank you for sharing.

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 06-Jun-2004, 12:01 AM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ 05-Jun-2004, 11:36 PM)
Roisin, I don't know if I gave you sound advice or not and I feel badly about that.  But it sounds like God took control of everything and worked it all out for you despite what any of us had to say.

Wow! I love the 3-door message! That is really terrific! And isn't it so very true?

Glad you got to enjoy a great concert and have a terrific time praising the Lord!

Rosemary, You gave me great advice. I would have always wondered if I hadn't at least tried. You never know until you walk through a door if you made the right decision. I would have always wondered if that teaching job was from the Lord. Now I know. Thanks for being such a great friend.

Love and hugs always,
Your friend,
Roisin

Posted by: BluegrassLady 06-Jun-2004, 12:33 AM
Urian,

I am sorry for all that you are and have been going through for the last year and half. I wish that I had some words of wisdom to offer you but, I am not wise enough. All I can tell you is that a lot of people are here to support you in whatever you decide to do. I hope that you will ask the good Lord for guidance before you make any decisions.
Then follow where your heart leads you.

You are in my prayers tonight.

Janet

Posted by: urian 06-Jun-2004, 05:45 AM
Thank you all very much.
I believe this is a lesson or test I am going through. I recently was able to forgive someone whom I believed had wronged me and wounded me deeply. I guess my father is the next part of the test. If this is, then the hardest part would be to forgive myself...anyway
Sigh. I know what I need to do and I have known what I needed to do. I guess I just needed another human being to acknowledge that it was the right thing.
Thanks to you all again.

Peace be with you
Urian

Posted by: 3Ravens 06-Jun-2004, 03:56 PM
Urian,
Sorry for what you and your family are going through. How old is your father? If your brother is 25, I'm guessing Dad is at least in his mid-60's. One of the early signs of Alzheimers is personality changes. People may not be obviously "off" but they make poor decisions about money, personal relationships, etc. Any way someone could see about having him checked out? I'm sending good thoughts your way.
Josie 3Ravens

Posted by: urian 06-Jun-2004, 05:50 PM
Thanks 3Ravens.
To answer your question, he will be fifty this year.

Posted by: 3Ravens 06-Jun-2004, 06:16 PM
Hmmmm, still a possibility, but a more remote one. How about depression? Are you going to try to see him? Good luck and best wishes, whatever you decide.

Posted by: WizardofOwls 06-Jun-2004, 07:11 PM
Urian, my friend,

I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I, too, wish I had some sage words of advice to give, but sadly I don't. But let me tell you a story...

I never got along well with my own dad. He was what we call down south a "Sunday-morning Christian." On Sunday mornings he was in church singing in a music group and being an usher. On Saturday nights, though, he was out getting drunk, asking me (probably about 8-10 years old at the time) to pour tomato juice in his beer so he could have a "red-eye." We were from completely different worlds. I didn't udnerstand him and he didn't understand me. I also feel that I was the recipient of border line physical abuse from him.

He was killed in a car accident when I was around 14. He was drunk and ran head-on into another vehicle. I didn't cry when he died. I resented the fact that he had died without letting me get a chance to tell him how I felt about the way he had treated us. To make matters worse, about 10 years after the fact I found out that he had been cheating on my mom at the time he was killed. I can honestly say that at that point I hated the man.

The 20th anniversary of his death hit me really hard. I was finally at the point where I was ready to forgive him for what he had done to me and my family, to tell him that I loved him and still remembered all of the good times we had had together. But he was dead and gone, and there was no way I could tell him that I forgave him, no way that I could tell him how much I loved him, if for no other reason than simply because he was my dad. I ended up writing a letter to him. I knew he would never read it. I did it just to get the feelings off my chest. It helped a little, but not as much as telling him in person would have.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this. Remember that he is your dad, and despite the bad things he's done, he still is and always will be the only dad you'll ever have. And he is only human, after all. And even though its hard right now, my advice would be to meet with him anyway. Let him know how you feel, but encourage him to talk so at least you can try to understand why he did what he did. Think about it - What if the unthinkable happened tonight, and he passed away and you never got a chance to find out why it happened, to tell him that you love him anyway and forgive him? I've had to live with that sort of open-ended grief for the past 25 years, and let me tell you, its no fun. And its no way to live your life.

I'll be praying for you. Let us know how it goes.


Posted by: Elspeth 07-Jun-2004, 07:33 AM
Wow, miss a few days and you miss alot on here.

Urian - I will pray for you. Forgiving our parents is so hard. I am having difficulty with that as well, though for much smaller offenses, and yet they still hurt. I can't imagine how much the ones you have incured hurt. We expect our parents to be on a level above other humans, above ourselves. What we could forgive in a friend we can't forgive in a parent, or at least I am having difficulty doing so. It scares me to think what standard my own children will hold me to someday.

This is so tough. Do the best you can. God doesn't ask for more. Forgiveness is a process. Don't expect it to be there all at once. It may take a great deal of time.

As I write this I see the irony that my words are what I need to hear as well. God does have a sense of humor. rolleyes.gif

Roisin. I am proud of you for going on the interview to gather the facts and just to have the experience. But mostly to KNOW where you are to be right now. Experience is never a waste of time.

And I want to add as well a belated welcome to Janet. biggrin.gif I am so glad you found this little corner of the world.



Posted by: tsargent62 07-Jun-2004, 10:27 AM
Urian,

Forgiveness. It's a big thing. And it's not easy. Like you, I have a lot of resentment toward my dad. My mom found out he was cheating on her and she started drinking. I guess he couldn't handle living with an alcoholic, so he left her when I was 10. Mom was left with no money and 2 kids to raise. My dad's lawyers were better than hers so he got the better end of things. Dad remarried only 4 months after the divorce. It's almost like he forgot my brother and I. His new wife had 2 kids. If they were going someplace my brother and I were only invited to go if we happened to drop by as they were getting ready to go. Child support was a joke. My mom had to go to court several times to get it out of him.

I know my dad regrets his past actions. He's never said so, but I know it's true. Still, his behaviour isn't that different. My kids have yet to get even a birthday card from him.

I keep trying to forgive him and I try to convince myself that I have, but I never call him, send him birthday cards or even father's day cards. I guess my resentment is deeply rooted.

One of the things I learned from my mom's association with AA is that resentment is the most powerful emotion man possesses. It can lead a lot of different negative, destructive behaviours and emotional problems. Even to hatred. I'm sure the depression I'm constantly battling can be attrbuted in part to my dad's behaviour and for sure the fact that he as always putting me down.

Urian, my friend, I guess I'm telling you all this to let you know you're not alone. I know very intimately that forgiveness in a case like this can be terribly difficult. I think it's important to try. You may never totally forgive your father, but if you don't, you will always wonder why he did what he did. That, in itself, may make it worth the effort. I'll be praying for you.

Todd


Posted by: Siobhan Blues 07-Jun-2004, 12:20 PM
It saddens me to hear these accounts of fathers being unfaithful, of betraying the trust that their wives and children had in them... I'm sorry you guys are having to live with the results of their behavior.

I like what Roisn said so much, I'll just agree with her. But I do hope ya'll can get past the resentment and find some kind of peace about these situations... that's much easier said than done, but its possible.

Siobhan Blues

Posted by: tsargent62 07-Jun-2004, 08:23 PM
Thanks SB. I wasn't trying to make my post about me, but I guess it turned out that way. I've tried to make peace with my situation and with my dad, but every time I think about it I start wondering what it would have been like to grow up really having a dad instead of just a father. I swore I would never put my kids through that. I don't claim to be a great dad, but I'm at every game, every event and my kids know without a doubt that I love them.

I hope someday to put the resentment behind me, but my hope is admittedly weak.

Todd

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 07-Jun-2004, 09:17 PM
Todd, don't apologize for telling your story. It is in baring our burdens to one another we can grow and help one another. Just hearing you empathize with urian means you know where he is coming from and can speak from a place of experience...than say someone who hasn't gone through the same situation. Unforunately, I had a bad father too.

We need to be transparent with one another and strengthen each other with love and understanding---and Todd this is what you were doing.

Síochán (Peace),
Roisin

Posted by: Elspeth 08-Jun-2004, 08:10 AM
Todd, I also want to add that you should never apologize for sharing of yourself. It is only in sharing your story that others can know the depth of your empathy.

I have come to the conclusion from my experiences that sometimes forgiveness is a lifelong process. Not because we are weak Christians, but because the people we need to forgive keep hurting us. The wound can never heal because it is continually being reopened.

I thought a few weeks back about starting a thread on forgiveness, now I know it is time. This is a topic that needs to be brought out.

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