Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )










Reply to this topicStart new topicStart Poll

> Bagpipe Humor, Pretty Funny!
haynes9 
Posted: 05-Apr-2006, 09:46 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline





Celtic Guardian
Group Icon

Group: Super Moderator
Posts: 11,253
Joined: 05-Jun-2005
ZodiacElder

Realm: Ganado, Navajo Nation, Arizona

male





Disclaimer: I LOVE bagpipe music! Having said that, this is pretty good stuff. Hats off to Dr. Bob Griffin, a church planting pastor in Wyoming, for compiling these.

Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. People cry when you chop up an onion.

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a ball into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the
Ducks.

Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Q. What's the difference between the Great Highland and Northumbrian
Bagpipes?
A. The GHB burns longer [but the Northumbrian burns hotter]

Q. What do you call bagpiper with half a brain?
A. Gifted.

Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an
In-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you've been
hallucinating.

Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?
A. Add vibrato.

Q. What's the definition of a gentleman?
A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

Bonus:
Q. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead
Bagpiper in the road?
A. Skid marks in front of the snake.


--------------------
Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. -- John Quincy Adams

Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less - Robert E. Lee

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved - Romans 10:13 (KJV)

The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble, and he knoweth them that trust in him - Nahum 1:7 (KJV)
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
dundee 
Posted: 05-Apr-2006, 10:02 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 1,176
Joined: 01-Aug-2003
ZodiacReed


male





Q. why do pipers march when they play?
A. they are trying to get away from the sound.


--------------------
jim

www.greyaengus.com

"If I say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant it the other way."

often in error, never in doubt.

if guns kill people then my pencil mis-spells words
quote: larry the cable guy

sometimes what ya think ya want
isnt what ya thought ya wanted
till ya get what ya thought ya wanted
and then what ya had is gone....
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
haynes9 
Posted: 05-Apr-2006, 10:17 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline





Celtic Guardian
Group Icon

Group: Super Moderator
Posts: 11,253
Joined: 05-Jun-2005
ZodiacElder

Realm: Ganado, Navajo Nation, Arizona

male





QUOTE (dundee @ 05-Apr-2006, 09:02 AM)
Q. why do pipers march when they play?
A. they are trying to get away from the sound.

biggrin.gif
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
morgana_l_f 
Posted: 05-Apr-2006, 01:06 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
Group Icon

Group: Celtic Princess
Posts: 355
Joined: 24-Jan-2005
ZodiacHolly

Realm: North Dakota

female





Here's Some more.

Q. What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.

Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
A. Someone is blowing into it.

Q. Why do pipe bands march when they play?
A. Moving targets are harder to hit.

One day a piper left his pipes in clear view on the backseat of his car. When he returned he was shocked to find the rear window broken and another set of pipes beside his.

"I've just washed my kilt and I can't do a fling with it."

Q. Why don't pipers polish their shoes?
A. So nobody will see up their kilt.

Q. What's worn under the kilt?
A. (to a man) Same as you only bigger.
A. (to a woman) Nothing lass it's in perfect working order.

Q. How do you put a twinkle in a piper's eye?
A. Shine a light in his ear.
PMEmail Poster               View My Space Profile.
Top
Dogshirt 
Posted: 05-Apr-2006, 03:10 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 2,400
Joined: 12-Oct-2003
ZodiacElder

Realm: Washington THE State

male





Q: What's the range of a set o' pipes?

A: Aboot 20 yards af ye've got a guid arm! wink.gif


beer_mug.gif



--------------------
Hoka Hey!
The more Liberals I meet, the more I like my dogs!
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
stoirmeil 
Posted: 06-Apr-2006, 07:52 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 3,581
Joined: 07-Nov-2004
ZodiacBirch

Realm: New York







QUOTE (haynes9 @ 05-Apr-2006, 10:46 AM)
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a ball into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the
Ducks.


Hmmmm . . .

I thought the definition of "perfect pitch" with regard to bagpipes is if you can pitch them into the dumpster and land them right on top of the accordion without hitting the sides.

PMEmail Poster               
Top
NBEHTM 
Posted: 26-Apr-2006, 10:52 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Servant
**

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 25
Joined: 24-Apr-2006
ZodiacBirch

Realm: Sunny Southern California

male





Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?
A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.


--------------------
-NBEHTM
Whatever's interesting

"Root Deep, Reach High"
PMEmail Poster               
Top
stevenpd 
Posted: 27-Apr-2006, 01:09 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
Group Icon

Group: Founder
Posts: 2,900
Joined: 15-Feb-2002
ZodiacReed

Realm: Fountain Valley, Calif.

male





Q. What do you call ten bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean?

A. A start.


--------------------
2018


user posted image


Vote in the 2018 Music Awards


Dear Lord, lest I continue in my complacent ways, help me to remember that someone died for me today. And if there be war, help me to remember to ask and to answer "am I worth dying for?" - Eleanor Roosevelt

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
PMEmail Poster My Photo Album               
Top
0 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

Reply to this topic Quick ReplyStart new topicStart Poll


 








© Celtic Radio Network
Celtic Radio is a TorontoCast radio station that is based in Canada.
TorontoCast provides music license coverage through SOCAN.
All rights and trademarks reserved. Read our Privacy Policy.








[Home] [Top]