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> So, You're A Cannibal
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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 12-Oct-2007, 01:56 PM
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So, you're a cannibal.

The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

Pull the pin and count to what?

Which wire was I supposed to cut?

I wonder where the mother bear is.

I've seen this done on TV.

I can make this light before it changes.

Nice doggie.

I can do that with my eyes closed.

I've done this before.

SSSHHHAARRRRKKKKK!

Watch out for that trUUUUCK!

The ice is safe.

It's so tame I can put my head in its mouth.

Hey, man, gimme a match. I can't see but I think my gas tank's empty.


Hell's Angels ? Then why are you all dressed like one of the Village People ?

Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.

Dad, why the apple on my head ?


biggrin.gif biggrin.gif Anyone knows some more?


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"The soul would have no rainbow, if the eye had no tears."
(Native American Proverb)
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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 12-Oct-2007, 02:46 PM
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I am reminded of a joke my uncle told me way back during the beatnik era.

A man was driving down the road when he saw a fellow hitch hiking. By his clothes and facial hair it was obvious he was a beatnik. The man stopped and picked him up. As they were driving done the road they came to an intersection and stopped. The driver looked to his left and asked the beatnik if anything was coming from the other direction. The beatnik said, "Nothing but a big dog, man." As the man stared across the intersection, his car was crushed by a bus. When he woke up in the hospital, he was in the same room as the beatnik. "I thought you said there was nothing but a big dog!" "Yeah man, a Greyhound."

Watch out for those big dogs, man. rolleyes.gif


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Ya'll drive safe and come back soon.
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haynes9 
Posted: 12-Oct-2007, 03:08 PM
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Absolute classics, Gabby! I'll see if I can add some others down the line. Great stuff!


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Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. -- John Quincy Adams

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For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved - Romans 10:13 (KJV)

The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble, and he knoweth them that trust in him - Nahum 1:7 (KJV)
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Robert Phoenix 
Posted: 13-Oct-2007, 05:24 PM
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The blade isn't that sharp.

It's not loaded

My acme order is in! (Wile E. Coyote)


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Pour mouth to mouth
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stoirmeil 
Posted: 13-Oct-2007, 06:11 PM
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"I been picking these mushrooms all my life."

"Hey guys! I got the answer key from last year's final exam!!!"

(celtic-themed last words) "Ha ha, look at the big hairy queer over there in the plaid skirt!" rolleyes.gif

"I believe I've set some kind of record." (Dylan Thomas, after downing 17 shots in quick succession and just before passing out.)

"This wallpaper is atrocious. One of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde -- apocryphal, possibly not true, but my favorite last words in history.)
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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 14-Oct-2007, 08:32 AM
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I've got some more...

Why am I standing on a plastic sheet?

Are you pregnant or just plain fat ?

Bob, you have any grenades left ? Throw me one...

Come outside and say that, Tyson.

Diamonds... Gold... Sapphires !!! Terry ! Terry, we're rich, we're rich, we're fabulously wealthy !!!! ...Terry..... Terry ??

Don't shoot, it's me...

"DO NOT OPEN"
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Rindy 
Posted: 16-Oct-2007, 10:39 AM
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These are so good... Gabby & stoirmeil. Thanks for posting them.

Slainte
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Robert Phoenix 
Posted: 16-Oct-2007, 09:36 PM
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I can't sleep.
~~ James M. Barrie, author, d. 1937
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sisterknight 
Posted: 17-Oct-2007, 09:16 AM
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did i do thaaaat?-steve urkel


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non nobis domine,non nobis sed nomini tua da gloriam.


OKAY, WHAT DID I DO NOW??
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Robert Phoenix 
Posted: 17-Oct-2007, 04:59 PM
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Ouch!
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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 17-Oct-2007, 08:27 PM
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Engage! --Captain Jean-Luc Picard-- STNG


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sisterknight 
Posted: 18-Oct-2007, 08:50 AM
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beam me up scotty- cpt.kirk
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crazykiltedcelt 
Posted: 19-Oct-2007, 08:21 AM
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hold still this won't hurt a bit!!!


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stoirmeil 
Posted: 19-Oct-2007, 11:20 AM
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"Wait a minute, I think I see the problem!"
(French aristocratic engineer, lying at bottom of stuck guillotine looking up)
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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 19-Oct-2007, 11:42 AM
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"Honey, would you please give me a fork?"
(The man who was said to own the first toaster)
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