Joys And Concerns

My mother suffered from depression when my first brother was born. It was a bad time for her and it lasted for 4 months straight. My mother was in such a bad place that everyday she was afraid to go to sleep because she thought she was going to die if she did. It took all she had just to feed me and my brother. She called her mother and told her she was going to die (and my grandmother flew in from out of town to help but couldn't help her). The house was let go, she didn't eat and the doctor gave her nerve pills and sleeping pills. But the pills were only a band-aid and surpressed the emotions but did stop the raping of her mind. Now she was a Christian through this whole episode, but didn't know how to get out of the black pit of dispair and fear. After 4 months of hell she finally said she had, had enough and got angry. She fought back and started reading the Word of God (The Bible). She learned that the battle was in her mind. The scripture "As a man thinks in his heart so he there is" came into play. As she started to learn what God thought about who she was and her situation, then she began to meditated on His thoughts and not her own thoughts, then the black mist started to lift.

St. Paul says put on the mind of Christ and to renew our minds daily. We need faith to live! And the Bible says, "Faith comes by hearing of the Word." Isaiah 55 verses 8-12 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and returns as rain and waters the earth, and makes it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goes forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing in which I send it to. For you shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands."

In God's Word lies truth, truth to live and overcome. Jesus said, "I am the Truth and the Life." Everyday might be a battle to overcome your depression, but don't do it unarmed. St. Paul said put on the whole armor of God. Gird your loins with truth (read and meditate on God's Word), put on the breastplate of righteousness (know that your righteousness is Christ's righteousness and was bought and paid for by His blood), put on the sandles prepared for the Gospel of Peace (be ready to testify of the risen Christ and His love at all times), put on the helmet of Salvation (know that you are His and you are in the palm of His hand), take up the shield of Faith (for it will help you stand against the storms), take up the sword of the spirit (when in trouble speak God's word to the situation. For example, if you are afraid recite out loud this verse, "God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of joy, peace, and a sound mind." If you are weak and cannot go on---you can recite this verse, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." or "Peace I give you, not as the world gives, but peace that passes all understanding." or "They overcame the evil one by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.") God's Word changes things as we believe and take Him at His word. The Lord said, "I am not a man that I should lie." He keeps His word. I am writing all this to say this all worked for my Mom. Not since 1970, has she had a bout with deep depression where it incompasitated her. She has never taken medication again for depression. Please do not think I am condemming anyone who needs to take medication. I am only saying that there is a way out of the viscious cycle---there is freedom. This does not mean you won't ever have a battle---it only means as you trust in God's Word and apply it---you can find freedom and you can overcome---because Christ overcame at the Cross..."The chastiment of our peace was upon him; and with His stripes we are healed."

Remember what Jesus said, "Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you will find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Peace,
Roisin

Roisin,

Wise words indeed. Depression, although dark and hopeless, is a very comfortable place to be. That seems like a dichotomy, but ask anyone who's suffered from it and they'll agree. It's much easier to rest in the bottom of the pit, curled up in a ball, than to try to climb out. Depression is insidious. You can be flying high, but it creeps up on you, filling you with self-doubt until it sinks its claws in deeper and deeper.

You seem to be a woman of deep faith. Please keep posting your wise words.

Todd

Rosin, those are wise words indeed - thank you for sharing them with us in such a thought-provoking post.
I remember so clearly when I was at the lowest point during my depression and had given up hope in everyone else, it was Christ that I kept waiting for... I waited and waited for Him to send me some way out. I was a Christian, and kept holding onto His promise to never leave us because we have chosen Him. That was the one thought I never let go of, that He would eventually send me some aid. It took awhile, though, and later on I prayed about that asking why He didn't help me right away. The answer was, He watched until I had realized that none of my own efforts (or those of my clueless family) was sufficient - He alone is sufficient, and is the only one we need! The most important lesson I learned was that I was never alone through the entire ordeal; He was there with me, waiting for me to quit trying to fix the situation myself. The second most important lesson I learned was, do not disregard what God has given you in life situations, abilities, things like that...
Actually the core issue was this: I do not believe in myself, in my ability or capacity to handle what is given to me... God gave me this life, this family, this love of art because those are the areas where I can be of service and they are the areas where I will find satisfaction and purpose. They are what I am here to do! But I do not have much innate self-confidence. I remember actually thinking that my own mom would be better at raising my two kids than I was, so if I was not around they'd be better off. That is SO not true!! But in the state of mind I had descended to, it seemed logical... it gives me cold shivers even now, thinking of how far off the truth I was.
To doubt oneself that much is a slap in the face to God, its saying you literally don't believe Him when He says you're so valued and loved that He knows the number of hairs on your head...
I was reprimanded for doubting Him like that. There were consequences for my deliberate rejection of His gifts.

But I learned a perhaps painful but essential lesson: that He is always there for us and that He has specific purposes for our lives. I will never doubt Him again!

Man, it doesn't rain but it pours. I just found out today that my dad has Alzheimer's Syndrome. There's no one else in the family that has it, so I don't know if there was a latent gene in there somewhere or what. It is genetic, right? He's already been told he can't drive anymore. Fortunately his wife (not my mother) is an RN, so she can take care of him. I need to get more educated about it.

I would just appreciate some prayers for my dad and his wife.

Todd,

Man it is just raining in your world right now isn't it? Thank God your Dad has someone who will know how to care for him. But that doesn't make it all any easier, does it? My prayers are with all your family.

I hope you are finding moments of Joy within all this anxiety. Happiness is an illusion or a condition reserved for a blessed few, but God given Joy is available to us all. Revel in those moments. They are what see us through.

Elspeth

Oh Todd! I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I worked in Neurology for several years and have seen first hand what it does to patients and their families. Thank God he has your step-mother to take care of him. I am so sorry and keep us posted. Will keep you in my prayers.

Todd, I'm so sorry that your dad has Alzheimer's. It is a very good idea to read and find out about Alzheimer's so you and your family will know how to deal with this disease. There is no cure but there is medication to help. A new medicine came out in January 2004 for late stage Alzheimer's. I have heard there is good results with this new medication. The name of this medication is Namenda.

I have a patient with Alzheimer's and I go into her home and help with her care. She is in late stage Alzheimer's. She still remembers her husband but sometimes refers to him as Daddy. She thinks that her children are still home and worries about them as though they are small again. They are both grown. She seems to remember her family when she was a child and thinks her Mom and Dad are still living. When she trys to make conversation, she substitutes words and you have no idea what she is talking about. She used to be combative, and get very agitated. Thank goodness she was put on medication that has taken care of that problem. Without medicine to help her sleep she would be up all night. Different people have different symptoms. One thing most all alzheimer's patient's do is wander. They have to be constantly watched, never let out of sight. It takes a lot of patience to take care of someone who has Alzheimer's. Your Mom will need lots of support from her family and need a break so she won't get so stressed out that she'll be climbing the walls. My prayers to you and your family.

maggiemahone1

Todd,

My prayers go out to you and your dad and his wife. Talk about pouring in bucket fulls! Learning all you can about your father's illness will inpower you to cope and better help your father.

Peace,
Be God's and be blessed,
Roisin

Todd,

My grandmother suffered from Alzheimers too so I know the path you're about to walk. There really are new treatments for it now that we didn't have available back then so I hope your dad's experience will be less traumatic than my Gran's was.

SB

Todd -

I'm so sorry to hear you, your father, and your family. You will all remain in my prayers. We have avoided Alzheimer's, but my own father has gone through three different battles with cancer, the latest being multiple myeloma. My prayers go with you, my friend.

RobertH, if you don't want to go into this I understand, but may I ask what 'multiple myeloma' actually is? I have heard about it lately several times from church, because people's friends have been diagnosed but I don't know anything about it.
Its nothing like melanoma, is it, which is skin cancer?

Siobhan -

No, it's very different. Without going into a great deal about cell biology, it's a cancer that attacks the white blood cells. Sometimes the cancerous mass is located in or on a single bone or form a single mass, which is diagnosed as myeloma. It's more often discovered in multiple simultaneous locations, leading to the obvious diagnosis of multiple myeloma.

The course of treatment differs, as it's based on variables such as age, general health, etc. My father's particular course of treatment consisted of four rounds of increasingly difficult chemotherapy and a bone marrow stem cell transplant, using cells harvested from himself before they intiated treatment.

The first three rounds of chemo went very well. There was the expected hair loss, but other than that he really didn't feel bad at all. The fourth round was the one that literally pushed him to the brink before it brought him back. We spent a lot of time in his ward to support him, badger him, and generally let him know that we cared.

The VA staff, partnering with a well-known cancer institute, did a great job. We know that myeloma is, as of now, incurable. However, he's been symptom-free for over a year now, and continues to improve. He's back to being almost as stubborn as me.

Oh Robert! What a horrible, horrible disease. I hope and pray your father will make a miraculous recovery. Keep us posted.

I have a favor to ask of all of you. I got a message today from a very close friend of mine. Though living at the other end of the world she is like a sister and kin for me.
Her daughter is still rather young and she's pregnant. Now it was attested that she has a kidney disease for which there is seemingly no cure and they can't give her any drugs now that she is pregnant.
I was and I am scared and the more my friend will be.
Will you all keep them in your prayers?
Todd, RobertH, Rose, Elspeth...you are all in my thoughts and prayers though I didn't post here for quite a while. I'm still having a hard time with my youngest son who had a serious relapse to his anxiety conditions and phobia. We managed it before and we will manage it this time as well but it forces me to my limits.
So do not mind - I didn't forget about anyone of you!

Oh gabby! You and your son are in our prayers, as well as your friend and her daughter and her unborn child. May your son soon be back on an even keel. And may you and he be surrounded and uplifted by the divine Love of Christ in a real and tangible way.

I would like to share a joy that I am doing much, much better. I am blessed to have been given one of the new anti-depressants, very effective for anxiety and no side effects. It is such a blessing to have that constant fear taken away. The problems still exist, but this was the edge I needed to be able to manage them. I have also come to several descisions regarding my family situation, and that creates a level of calm as well. Thank you one and all for your prayers - I know I have been uplifted, have felt it. And thank you for the stories as well. So often what we need is to know we aren't in it alone, that our stories aren't as bizarre as they may seem.

Everyone, please keep us updated on your lives, the good and the bad.

Today is a beautiful, breezy spring day. My responsibilities are light and I plan on reveling in the wonder of it all. Plus I have a story mulling around - always the fun phase!

Have a Great Day one and all, for even amidst the anxieties and the turmoils we have the assurance that God Loves Us!

Elspeth