| QUOTE (dundee @ 05-Apr-2006, 09:02 AM) |
| Q. why do pipers march when they play? A. they are trying to get away from the sound. |
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| Celtic Radio Community > The Jester's Court > Bagpipe Humor |
| Posted by: haynes9 05-Apr-2006, 09:46 AM |
| Disclaimer: I LOVE bagpipe music! Having said that, this is pretty good stuff. Hats off to Dr. Bob Griffin, a church planting pastor in Wyoming, for compiling these. Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison? A. Shoot one. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? A. People cry when you chop up an onion. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline? A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline. Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a ball into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the Ducks. Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention. Q. What's the difference between the Great Highland and Northumbrian Bagpipes? A. The GHB burns longer [but the Northumbrian burns hotter] Q. What do you call bagpiper with half a brain? A. Gifted. Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an In-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you've been hallucinating. Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe? A. Add vibrato. Q. What's the definition of a gentleman? A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't. Bonus: Q. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead Bagpiper in the road? A. Skid marks in front of the snake. |
| Posted by: dundee 05-Apr-2006, 10:02 AM |
| Q. why do pipers march when they play? A. they are trying to get away from the sound. |
| Posted by: haynes9 05-Apr-2006, 10:17 AM | ||
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| Posted by: morgana_l_f 05-Apr-2006, 01:06 PM |
| Here's Some more. Q. What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road? A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session. Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune? A. Someone is blowing into it. Q. Why do pipe bands march when they play? A. Moving targets are harder to hit. One day a piper left his pipes in clear view on the backseat of his car. When he returned he was shocked to find the rear window broken and another set of pipes beside his. "I've just washed my kilt and I can't do a fling with it." Q. Why don't pipers polish their shoes? A. So nobody will see up their kilt. Q. What's worn under the kilt? A. (to a man) Same as you only bigger. A. (to a woman) Nothing lass it's in perfect working order. Q. How do you put a twinkle in a piper's eye? A. Shine a light in his ear. |
| Posted by: Dogshirt 05-Apr-2006, 03:10 PM |
| Q: What's the range of a set o' pipes? A: Aboot 20 yards af ye've got a guid arm!   |
| Posted by: stoirmeil 06-Apr-2006, 07:52 AM | ||
Hmmmm . . . I thought the definition of "perfect pitch" with regard to bagpipes is if you can pitch them into the dumpster and land them right on top of the accordion without hitting the sides. |
| Posted by: NBEHTM 26-Apr-2006, 10:52 PM |
| Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it. |
| Posted by: stevenpd 27-Apr-2006, 01:09 PM |
| Q. What do you call ten bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean? A. A start. |