Stumbling Blocks, What are yours?

Depression is my stumbling block... its my weakness, my Achille's Heel if you please. Only by the grace and patience and intervening hand of God do I sit here at this computer today posting. At one point I lost all hope in everything, but I kept one thought: Christ said he loves me, and he will send me help.
And sure 'nuff, he sent me a way out that was the strangest thing; so strange that nobody except Him could have come up with it. I decided to grab hold of the 'life preserver' instead of sinking completely to the depths, and eventually made my way back to the light.

But if I stop right now and look back, its like there is this black hole in the road behind me... sometimes its far back, sometimes its so close that if I take one step backwards I'll begin that descent again. It will never go away, and I know that now. But I also know the signs of taking backwards steps, and recognize when I am beginning to slip back into that hopeless frame of mind - God has given me certain things to embrace, certain things to see and read and listen to, that will stop the backwards motion. Depression therefore will never have a choke-hold on me again, but I keep an eye on the innate negative attitude & sense of helplessness in me that will trigger a relapse.

GOOD FOR YOU, BLUE!

I am so happy that you've been able to overcome your depression! Isn't good to know that God is always with us? Even when we think we can't feel Him and wonder where He is, He has promised that He would NEVER leave us nor forsake us! I find that SO comforting!!!!

One of my greatest stumbling blocks has been Anger. 75 percent it has been triggered by the same type of people, Salesmen. I have often equated the word salesman with the words Chronic Liar, Chieseler, Cheat, Scoundrel.

When I feel I have been wronged my blood pressue hits the roof and I call people on this. Ive have employers who have told me I have the patience of Job and they love my performance, so I dont believe my feelings are totally unwarranted however Turning this anger has been a real problem.

When I find a good saleman ( seems like a contradiction in terms) I make sure he knows why this purchase is going though. Because of his honesty and being thorough in his presentation. Give me an honest salesman and I will by an inferior product as opposed to a superior product with a regular ( lying) salesman

Please pray for me if you will,
just so we dont reinvent the wheel. I think I have heard every reason why
even God loves Salesmen. I need prayer and understanding on how to turn the anger or not let it build.

Hey Knightly - I hear you. I get the same reaction with many telemarketers. Especially when they have to speak to my husband and won't talk to me. So they call my house dozens of times and who gets to answer the phone? ME! Now what is so bad about this is I used to BE a telemarketer. I did that all though college. It was good money for part time work. And my husband had a market research firm that did telephone surveys. So, you'd think I'd have some compassion. Instead I am maybe more critical. So, I understand. And let's not start on drivers or my family who insist upon leaving a trail of dirty socks throughout the house. We all have those certain buttons that can make an otherwise rational adult react like a teapot. So, I'll pray for you and you pray for me.

Hey Rose!

You're new avatar took me by surprise. I like it.

E

Hey Siobhan,

Thanks for sharing. My husband as well has suffered many bouts with depression and I have used the exact same words to describe what happens to him. I have seen him time and again fall into that black hole and I have helped pull him out. And when he again hovers on the edge is a terrible time for him. It took me a long time to understand what was happening to him.

But I do now, and so when I too encountered that black hole, I didn't wait too long to get help. When it was obvious it wasn't going to go away on it's own, I got the help I needed.

It is frightening to think of going back there. I had gotten to the point of starting to question if I even needed to be on this planet anymore. Now I know the darkness, but I also know what lies on the other side. So, if I again have to face the darkness, I pray I can hold onto the memory of what lies beyond as well.

It is good to talk of these things. It makes us all know we are not alone. Other 'good' people have stumbling blocks too.

Elspeth

Elspeth and Siobhan,

I understand the insidious nature of depression all too well, so I understand what you're going through. The problem with being in the pit, is that it is a very comfortable place to be. It's hell, and it doesn't feel good, but it's to easy to stay there; kind of like a warm bed on a cold morning, without the comfort. I battle with depression on a daily basis, and unfortunately, at this point it's on the winning side. Most of the time I find life in general very overwhelming. There are times I wish I could reach out and get a real good hug from someone who understands my pain. So, no, my sisters, you're not alone.

Todd

And Todd, the cyber hugs from those who understand abound!!!!!

Life IS overwhelming! How the heck did we get to be the adults? The breadwinners? The moms the dads? It was only a few years ago WE were the kids. It is called midlife. All the responsibilities and NONE of the answers. So, don't feel bad about feeling overwhelmed. You are. And so are the rest of us. The more I talk to people my age about this, the more I hear the same story repeated over and over again.

Keep your chin up and if you're too tired to hold it there, we'll hold it up for a while for you.

E

Thanks, my friend. I needed that.

Hey! Elspeth! You know I am a major LOTR fan and one of my favorite characters is Galadriel! I love her name and her cause she is what I think an angel would look and be like. so unlike me! Anyway, I needed a change!

Boy! Todd! I can really relate to what you said about depression. It is a very comfortable place to be in. I suffer greatly with back pain that creates a lot of depression for me. I feel my best or more comfort I should say when I am on my couch rolled up like a ball because of the pain and the depression that goes with it. Laying down eases the pain, the couch is the safe place. Gee! I sound like a sicko, don't I? But can really see why sufferers of back pain commit suicide! Not that I would, but I can see whys of it now...........then added depression to go with it!

Thank you Elspeth and to everyone for the words of wisdom.

You don't sound like a sicko at all! Believe me, I understand. I don't suffer from back pain, but I have plenty of emotional scars. There are times I would love nothing better than to stay in bed all day and have everyone just leave me alone. So, no, dear Rose, you're not a sicko. Heck, that would make me a sicko, too!

May I ask what is the cause of your back pain? You've mentioned it before, but I don't remember if you said what caused it.

I am sorry so many of us have this same 'stumbling block' (depression) because its such a potentially disabling one... but I must say it means so much to me to be able to talk about it and have ya'll actually understand where I'm coming from. Thank you for sharing, and for being so understanding.

Chronic pain is something I've never had to live with, but my mother has back trouble that bothers her nearly all the time. She says its very difficult to stay upbeat and optimistic when the pain eats away at your mood and you know there's little you can do about it. She has been diagnosed with degenerative back disorder, arthritis and osteoporosis. We were both in a car accident back in the 70's too, where we were in a little sports car & were hit from behind by a huge car - we weren't injured, or so we thought at the time, but this many years later we both know that our backs have been affected by the 'whip lash' effect.

Rose, is arthritis contributing to your back aches too?

This post has been edited by Siobhan Blues on 04-May-2004, 08:30 AM

Todd, I have several problems with my back. I have scoliosis, ARTHRITIS (degenerative spinal disorder), bone spurs, compression of discs, bulging discs. Some days are really great for me and others are very terrible! I just never know. It just depends what I have done that day to aggravate it. When I was in California a few weeks ago , my mother informed me that this was very heraditary on both sides of my family...........great, eh? don't mean to sound pity pooy!