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wdorholt Posted on: 05-Aug-2010, 01:53 AM

Replies: 11,299
Views: 154,838
Call
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #298796

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wdorholt Posted on: 05-Aug-2010, 01:31 AM

Replies: 3,156
Views: 107,456
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water.

The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"

"I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim."
  Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night!  ·  Post Preview: #298795

wdorholt Posted on: 04-Aug-2010, 10:00 PM

Replies: 1,711
Views: 94,384
Finally saw 2012. The world could have ended before the movie did! Thought it was too long and convoluted.

  Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night!  ·  Post Preview: #298794

wdorholt Posted on: 04-Aug-2010, 09:51 PM

Replies: 3
Views: 503
One of my favorite groups! Thanks for the info on the new album. I will be disappointed if they get too "country!"
  Forum: Celtic Music  ·  Post Preview: #298793

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wdorholt Posted on: 05-Jul-2010, 10:56 PM

Replies: 3,156
Views: 107,456
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
  Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night!  ·  Post Preview: #298093

wdorholt Posted on: 02-Jul-2010, 12:50 AM

Replies: 4
Views: 1,125
"Canada is probably the most free country in the world where a man still has room to breathe, to spread out, to move forward, to move out, an open country with an open frontier. Canada has created harmony and cooperation among ethnic groups, and it must take this experience to the world because there is yet to be such an example of harmony and cooperation among ethnic groups."
Valentyn Moroz
  Forum: Canada  ·  Post Preview: #297882

wdorholt Posted on: 02-Jul-2010, 12:14 AM

Replies: 42
Views: 3,344
Our prayers are with you and your family. Don't forget to take care of yourself during this!
  Forum: General Discussion  ·  Post Preview: #297880

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wdorholt Posted on: 02-Jul-2010, 12:09 AM

Replies: 3,156
Views: 107,456

The Pope has just finished a tour of Napa Valley and is taking a limousine to San Francisco. Having never driven a limo, the Pope asks the chauffeur if he might drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur doesn't have much choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds down Silverado, and starts accelerating to see what the limo can do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the red and blue lights of a CHP cruiser in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window.

The trooper, seeing who it is, says, "Just a moment please, I need to call in."

The trooper calls in and asks for the Chief. He tells the Chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how to handle it.

"It's not Ted Kennedy again, is it?" asks the Chief.

"No Sir!" replies the trooper, "This guy's more important."

"Is it the governor?"

"No! Even more important!"

"Is it the PRESIDENT?"

"No! Even more important!"

"Well, WHO THE HECK is it?" screams the Chief.

"I don't know, Sir," replies the trooper, "But he's got the Pope as his chauffeur!
  Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night!  ·  Post Preview: #297879

wdorholt Posted on: 30-Jun-2010, 12:15 AM

Replies: 3,394
Views: 60,422
Time Bandit
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #297789

wdorholt Posted on: 30-Jun-2010, 12:14 AM

Replies: 4,197
Views: 79,989
True. We usually plan a winter vacation, but often don't make it. We are planning on going to Palm Springs.

You have had a family reunion recently...
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #297788

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wdorholt Posted on: 30-Jun-2010, 12:01 AM

Replies: 3,156
Views: 107,456
An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an old horse. The horse said again, "It's the carburetor that's not working." The American nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub, had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what the horse had said to him.

Murphy said, "Well, don't pay any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars anyway."
  Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night!  ·  Post Preview: #297786

wdorholt Posted on: 29-Jun-2010, 11:56 PM

Replies: 1,663
Views: 58,970
tOOtle
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #297785

wdorholt Posted on: 26-Jun-2010, 11:34 PM

Replies: 23
Views: 3,656
Warm nights watching the stars!
  Forum: Quizes & Polls  ·  Post Preview: #297679

wdorholt Posted on: 26-Jun-2010, 11:30 PM

Replies: 4,197
Views: 79,989
True. I live in a house that is about 100 years old, which is old in our part of the country. The porches have started to fall off, the roof has leaked twice, the garage door broke, even one of my bird feeders fell down and was destroyed!

You are tired of the warm weather and secretly are awaiting the snow to return!

  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #297678

wdorholt Posted on: 26-Jun-2010, 11:23 PM

Replies: 3,394
Views: 60,422
Security fence
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #297677

wdorholt Posted on: 26-Jun-2010, 11:12 PM

Replies: 11,299
Views: 154,838
Point
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #297675

wdorholt Posted on: 26-Jun-2010, 10:57 PM

Replies: 1,711
Views: 94,384
Watched Paranormal Activity. Pretty clever. Effective use of horror. I get motion sickness from watching movies done on home video equipment however.
  Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night!  ·  Post Preview: #297673

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wdorholt Posted on: 26-Jun-2010, 10:49 PM

Replies: 3,156
Views: 107,456
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.

He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
  Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night!  ·  Post Preview: #297672

wdorholt Posted on: 23-Jun-2010, 12:29 AM

Replies: 3,394
Views: 60,422
Breaker Box
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #297520

wdorholt Posted on: 23-Jun-2010, 12:27 AM

Replies: 11,299
Views: 154,838
Party!
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #297518

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wdorholt Posted on: 22-Jun-2010, 10:47 PM

Replies: 3,156
Views: 107,456
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald's, and McDonald's brought forth the $3.20 double-cheeseburger, and Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?", and Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds. And God created the healthful yogurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair. And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And Woman gained pounds. And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese, and there was ice cream for dessert. And Woman gained pounds. And God said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken- fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his cholesterol went through the roof. And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to work to change channels. And Man gained pounds. And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fat fried them. He created sour cream dip also, and Man clutched his remote control, and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw that and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery...And Satan created private health insurance ....
  Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night!  ·  Post Preview: #297515

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wdorholt Posted on: 22-Jun-2010, 10:32 PM

Replies: 3,156
Views: 107,456
An elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about 20' behind her and asked "Can you hear me sweetheart"?. No reply. Moved to 10' and inquired again. No reply. 5' and not a word. A few inches behind ear, he asked "Can you hear me now honey"? His wife said "For the fourth time, yes."
  Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night!  ·  Post Preview: #297513

wdorholt Posted on: 07-May-2010, 11:17 PM

Replies: 3,394
Views: 60,422
Evident demonstration (legal term for proof)
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #296460

wdorholt Posted on: 07-May-2010, 11:12 PM

Replies: 11,299
Views: 154,838
Load
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #296459

wdorholt Posted on: 07-May-2010, 11:11 PM

Replies: 7,424
Views: 100,523

smaragdiNE

1. Of or relating to emeralds.
2. Having the color of emeralds
  Forum: Fun N Games  ·  Post Preview: #296458

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