Fear Of The Blank Page - Writer's Block, Etc., anyone got stories to share?

Yes Annabelle, I would say so. And yet we all paint, write, play music for different reasons and whatever evokes that emotion into inspiration. I sound like a know-it-all here, but this whole subject is so dear to my heart and am so excited to be able to share all this with others.

And rejection is a big thing for me. The reason why I haven't painted for so long. Lack of sales led to feeling of rejection.

Sheesh! Maybe I should become a writer. I think I have written a whole novel in this thread!

I can talk to someone when I'm revising. It's that first draft that gets touchy and can't withstand a stray thought. I could be evaluating a new CD while rewriting though, so long as it doesn't mean a few lines of brand new material for it... If it means that then it's time to shut up again, until it's on paper

You are very sharp, to realize that how you persevere is something your children will always remember. My two have watched me create art, take it to galleries or art shows to hopefully sell, and watched me sometimes be elated because someone liked the piece enough to take it home - or watched me be discouraged for days because no one cared for what I had created. I've talked to my family openly about how hard it is to put your heart into something, only to have it rejected because its not the right size, or popular color, or current style of art. Years ago I came to the point where I realized I would have to compromise in order to sell more - and I chose NO COMPROMISE. I may not sell as much as those who paint to match sofas, but being true to my inner muse is worth it all... nothing matches that feeling of inspiration, and following it to the conclusion of a finished piece...

Awe! What a grand feeling....inspiration and the final brush stroke of a finished piece!

I have had what I call a "creativity of any kind" block. I haven't been abvle to do anything creative for so long now. It is like I have become this unfeeling creature. It is driving me crazy.

That was the one good thing that actually came out of my bi-polar mood swings. I would get manic and I the best work I ever did came out of me. I have been stable for years now and I haven't been able to create squat.

I know someone on medication for depression and it seems to have squashed them the same way.
I wonder if there is anyway past that.
It's like they went from a dark symphony to a monotone. Sometimes I wonder which is worse.

Wow, it seems as if I have stumbled into a place where I belong, a place of very creative and expressive people who aren't afraid of coming face to face with problems that actually occur in real life.

I hit the big writer's block several years ago, and in order to try to overcome it, I joined an online writer's guild called CTowers. Basically what we do is chain stories, one starts, then another picks up and carries it on. I've had the privilege of meeting some great writers there, but sometimes I wonder if that site keeps me from working on my personal stories. We moved from CTowers to Blightborder, which I helped create and invent, and I have been basking in the success of actually writing again... I am wondering if it is time to pick up the pen and work on my own stuff again...

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you
- Ray Bradbury
I have this next to my computer screen , but it has become stained, faded and curled at the edges. Time to post it again I think.

Danann, welcome! And yes, pick up your pen again! Let us know how it goes.

Whenever you think of something, it's time to pick up a pen...

I know someone on medication for depression and it seems to have squashed them the same way.
I wonder if there is anyway past that.
It's like they went from a dark symphony to a monotone. Sometimes I wonder which is worse.

I think you two have touched a nerve here: I know several people who have had the same experience. I do not think they found a way to be creative without having to deal with the rollercoaster ride of ups and down...

I tend towards melancholia and have had one truly serious bout with depression in the past, but found my way out through intervention from above plus being reminded that creativity is where I need to put my emotions and deal with them. Over the years since that episode, I've realized that drawing or painting releases some kind of rejuvenating energy in me that gives me strength to deal with life. Its literally my therapy, I suppose; its a source that has never failed me yet. But, sometimes the challenge is getting up the nerve to even try to create! That is one obstacle that develops slowly (self-doubt, perceived rejection, etc etc) but still gets in the way sometimes...

I know someone on medication for depression and it seems to have squashed them the same way.
I wonder if there is anyway past that.
It's like they went from a dark symphony to a monotone. Sometimes I wonder which is worse.

I think you two have touched a nerve here: I know several people who have had the same experience. I do not think they found a way to be creative without having to deal with the rollercoaster ride of ups and down...

I tend towards melancholia and have had one truly serious bout with depression in the past, but found my way out through intervention from above plus being reminded that creativity is where I need to put my emotions and deal with them. Over the years since that episode, I've realized that drawing or painting releases some kind of rejuvenating energy in me that gives me strength to deal with life. Its literally my therapy, I suppose; its a source that has never failed me yet. But, sometimes the challenge is getting up the nerve to even try to create! That is one obstacle that develops slowly (self-doubt, perceived rejection, etc etc) but still gets in the way sometimes...

You have echoed how I feel exactly.


when I was in the group home we did a lot of art therapy. It was so fascinating to me, so much that I considered becoming an art therapist. (I still do consider it)

I just had a thought.
I think my pain helped to create these images that I would put on the canvas. When you put these images on the canvas you have to face them. Maybe it's fear, maybe it's grief, but you still have to look at it and reconcile it. Could it be that part of a creativity block could come from not wanting to face these feelings anymore? When I visualize my block I see it as a barrier somewhere in my arm in between my brain and my hand. Do you think my subconscious mind is creating that barrier as a way of saying "enough is enough!"? hmmmm....food for thought.



*brooding and thinking*

Very good food for thought Raven Wing.

I do my best writing when I write from where it hurts. (I can't remember who I'm quoting here) So far I have found it cathartic. Actually I was dealt a pretty big hurt today and the thought came to me I need to write after the kids are in bed. That I can pour it all into the story. And not only does it give me a release, it makes the writing very real, for it is, just fictionalized.

So far I have been able to face it all, for I am an onion peeler by nature. Maybe an eternal optimist, (or just plain stupid) thinking if I just peel away a bit more I will find what I am looking for. This keeps me going. That and the perverse artist temperament that finds in painful situations the 'theater' of it all. Know what I mean?

I am rambling. Occupational hazard. Weird mood I?m in.

Maybe you need to start small Raven Wing. There is a Christmas movie I love where Angela Landsbury plays the mother to Lee Remick who is contemplating her life?s decisions. Angela shares that she went through a period where she couldn?t paint, her visions of grandeur unfulfilled. She said, then one day she picked up a plate and painted on it a simple snowflake. No Sistine Chapel, but she found her calling. You?ve painted from the hurt, try painting from what brings you joy. Maybe that is the direction you need to go.

And I feel like we haven't yet really met Siusaidh Blues, so Hello!

Elspeth

Yes! hello my friend, Siusaidh!

Siusaidh is my friend who I told about this site. She isn't on her computer that much as she is much more disciplined in her artwork than I am.

I had a setback today. I was so proud of myself that I was back painting again and I was working on this painting for someone that had requested it. Almost finished and I was really happy with it. Well that someone looked at it today and didn't like it. This isn't the first time this has happened to me and so I was so upset I destroyed it! Pretty stupid and emotional,eh? Anyway, I am just going to paint for myself from now on. No more requests or commissions! Anybody ever experience this and become distraught enough to destroy their work? Or are you guys more mature than me?

Only on a small scale Rose, as I am not lucky enough to be commissioned yet.
But just recently I wrote a few paragraphs for a form at church. But the session decided it wasn't quite right, so they changed it. Things that were 'really just grammatical'. ARRGGGHHHHH....... Every word was chosen with a distinct purpose and to create a flow. I am afraid to see what they did to it. I recently read that a writer needs to learn the rules of grammar and then not be afraid to break them. That is how you find your distinct voice. I can just see the schoolmarm types taking out their red pens and narrowly judging what really was good and forcing it to conform to the narrow box of high school grammar. If they had been changing content, I could understand, but to alter my writing! I want to snatch it all back and say write it yourself, you?re not going to bastardize my work.

So, Rose, I guess the answer is yes others do it too and I don?t think you were out of line at all. When I read what they did to my work I ranted and raved and told my husband, they wouldn?t? have done this to Steven King! I want to be published so then they?d have some respect. The sad thing is, it probably wouldn?t have mattered, would it? You are an established artist and it still happened to you.

Yep, the heck with them all! Let?s create for ourselves!