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| Celtic Radio Community > General Discussion > Family Plot |
| Posted by: peckery 13-Apr-2004, 07:24 AM |
| I know this is a little "different" for me, but I really would like your opinion on this. My whole family, going back to when they came over on the boat through Ellis Island, has been buried in a little Serbia Eastern Orthodox Cementary in Los Angeles.( After they die, naturally) I now live in Indianapolis, and will NEVER return to that rat hole. My wife and I are in our mid forties and feel it is time to buy plots.  My question is should we be planted in our new home of Indianapolis or back in Los Angeles with my parents, aunts, uncles etc....???? Thanks  |
| Posted by: Annabelle 13-Apr-2004, 08:28 AM |
| Different? |
| Posted by: Annabelle 13-Apr-2004, 08:35 AM |
| "specimen jar" |
| Posted by: birddog20002001 13-Apr-2004, 08:50 AM |
| I'm still not to sure about being burried. i will probably go with cremation. There is a country here in the US that will use a special process of cremation and collection of the ashes and turn them into diamonds. They are called life gems. the first part of the process can be done at several points in the US. So they don't have to lug the body all over the place. The average body can produce over a 100 diamonds and they are working on going to one carat each and clear. Actually alls I really would want creamated and diamondized would be my brain eyes and heart. The rest of me I would just have put into a box. No embalming. This isnt nearly as strange as a friend of mine in the army that had his whole body tatooed and wanted to be skinned and passed down to his children. |
| Posted by: barddas 13-Apr-2004, 09:06 AM |
| That's an honest question, Peckery. And something everyone *should* think about. It's better to get it out of the way, then to leave the burden on childern, or even worse the state. I guess it really depends on where your heart is. Does that family 'plot' have a special place for you? ( In yer heart, that is...) That's what it really comes down to. If it does, then maybe you should 'rest' with yer kin. Cheers |
| Posted by: Annabelle 13-Apr-2004, 09:15 AM |
| Think about it if you must, but enjoy life and be prepared for tomorrows. |
| Posted by: barddas 13-Apr-2004, 09:31 AM | ||
I don't understand the problem you are having with preparing for what happens to everyone. I understand 'live life to the fullest', and do so. But the small amount of time invested in some sort of preperation, will save family members having to do what should have already been done. On top of the grief, and heartache of losing said loved one. It's not morbid. It's thinking ahead, and considering loved ones feelings. No body likes to talk about death. But it happens to all of us. Why not make arrangements to ease the pressure on loved ones. Then it is done, and doesn't ever have to be dealt with again...  |
| Posted by: birddog20002001 13-Apr-2004, 09:48 AM |
| I believe that by thinking about and planning the future now you save your family so much trouble in the future and allow them to live life to the fullest through your forethought. |
| Posted by: barddas 13-Apr-2004, 10:02 AM | ||
Exactly  |
| Posted by: barddas 13-Apr-2004, 10:03 AM | ||
Exactly That's the point I was trying to make Cheers |
| Posted by: maisky 13-Apr-2004, 11:40 AM |
| My kids are under instruction to cast my ashes in the inlet of Little Sandy Lake in the the Bridger Wilderness in Wyoming. It is only fair that I wind up as trout food. |
| Posted by: barddas 13-Apr-2004, 12:08 PM | ||
Because we all know that ashes are low in carbs...  |
| Posted by: tsargent62 13-Apr-2004, 12:17 PM |
| Yes, and we can't have fat trout, now can we? |
| Posted by: Annabelle 13-Apr-2004, 02:29 PM |
| I really don't have a problem with talking about it. You are absolutely right Barrdas! |
| Posted by: MDF3530 13-Apr-2004, 02:58 PM |
| I also can speak freely about this. I made my peace with death a long time ago when a boy I went to school with (he was a year ahead of me, but we were involved in a lot of the same activities) died. I want to be buried, so that way my family can visit. about a year ago, I made a request to my family, that if it is God's will I be taken before them, to visit my grave on my birthday. I want to be buried at a Catholic cemetery, and we have two nice ones in our area-Holy Sepulchre in Worth and Resurrection in Justice. Some pictures: Resurrection Cemetery: http://www.graveyards.com/resurrection/ Holy Sepulchre Cemetery: http://www.graveyards.com/holysepulchre/ |
| Posted by: birddog20002001 13-Apr-2004, 03:28 PM |
| Proper & nice the first one has its own ghost. Resurrection Mary |
| Posted by: MDF3530 13-Apr-2004, 07:27 PM | ||
Yeah, Resurrection Mary is the most popular ghost story in the Chicago area. She is reputed to haunt a three mile stretch of Archer Avenue between the Willowbrook Ballroom in Willow Springs and Resurrection Cemetery in Justice. |
| Posted by: maggiemahone1 13-Apr-2004, 07:49 PM |
| When my Dad died he had made all the arrangements beforehand. All that my family had to do was take his clothes to the funeral home and write his obit out. When your overcome with grief you don't think correctly and you can end up owing the funeral home thousands of dollars. They are out to make what they can off of a family. Very wise to have a prearranged funeral. It is nice when a family is buried in one cemetery. Peckery, listen to your heart! If my husband dies before me, I want him close by so I can visit him ever now and then.  maggiemahone1 |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 13-Apr-2004, 10:36 PM |
| When it comes time for me to make my journey, I will probably be put in the ground. I do not want anything fancy, No Head Stone, No Tomb, No Embalming. Just a Cedar Box with Acorns planted above me. For when the Acorns grow into Great White Oaks, the Deer and the other animals may feed upon the seeds that are produced. But Peckery to answer your question. Only you can determine what is right for you. |
| Posted by: Kassia 13-Apr-2004, 10:58 PM |
| It's nice to think that you have some control over that last bit of your own history. In the "old days" they used to have family cemeteries and you could have the generations laid out in rows around you. It is a strangely reassuring feeling to be able to go to a your community cemetery, no matter what makes the community, and be able to visit your great grandparents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and parents. when i can , i take flowers from our garden, with a few ringers from the local florist, and pay my respects. they probably have no idea that i am there, of course; it is purely an emotional indulgence for the living. I have one aunt who isnt buried in the same place as the rest of the family, and it feels odd to have her seperated from the rest of them like that. Her choice, but again, it is mostly for the living. I had a very evil thought at the cemetery last weekend. There were some pretty bellyflowers blooming in the far corner where great aunt olga is buried. How about getting some grass seed that has that kind of small low flowers that the lawn mowers can't mess up too bad, and sprinkle the seed all over my family plots only? I can see the amazed and awed faces of the visitors--"what a holy miracle! what a blessed family they must all be??!!" yellow, white or purple flowers, Peckery??  |
| Posted by: gaberlunzie 14-Apr-2004, 01:54 AM |
| It is probably nice if there is a kind of family cemetry where all your forefathers and family have found their last rest. If you feel close to your kin you should think about being buried there one day as well! Personally I don't want that anyone will have the duty to look after my grave one day. It's all set that I will be burnt and buried anonymously. You HAVE to bury the ashes in my country. Myself I don't feel any nearness standing at the grave of a beloved one. Maybe this is weird and maybe I am weird. But there is nothing left of the person, not for me. You know, I carry them in my heart forever. I honor them in lovingly thoughts. When I'm visiting my granny's grave I feel nothing. That's not granny. This place has nothing to do with her. She's not there. "Granny" is what she left for us; her kindness, her love, her strength, her laughter and sometimes the feeling of her being around me... |
| Posted by: Elspeth 14-Apr-2004, 06:56 AM |
| I like this question and I have had this discussion with friends and family before. I live in Ohio, but my family is all from Pennsylvania. There is a church cemetery where family have been buried for generations. Part of me wants that tie, to be in a beautiful place with 'kin'. But the practicality is that it is 4 hours away, my husband has no ties there. So, the next best thing would be the city cememtery, which has towering oaks and rampant rhododendrens and azelias all about. The bad thing is the cemetery is all but full. So, we have made no descisions. My parents have plots in the PA cemetery, but have been questioning as well what to do. The church they go to has a cemetery and they are wondering if they should be the first to break with tradition and be buried out here. Afterall, they have lived here for the last almost 50 years and all their children and grandchildren are here. As far as I know, they have made no descisions as of yet. For you, sockmonkeyman, as others have said, you will have to descide for yourself. I hear you saying you have no desire to return to LA. If that is the case, then perhaps you should strongly consider what is right for your family and not be held by a pact made by long gone ancestors. |
| Posted by: Shamalama 14-Apr-2004, 07:29 AM |
| There has been too much fragmentation over the years for us to have a family plot (divorces, moving away, etc). So my bride and I have already included instructions in our Wills, as well as in our discussions with our kids, to be cremated. My bride wants to be sprinkled across Cadillac Mountain in Bar Harbor, Maine (site of our honeymoon, and the first place in the US to see the sunrise). I haven't located a place yet, although going 'home' to Scotland does have an appeal. birddog, you're describing http://www.lifegem.com/ . My bride has already stated that she wants me to 'hang around' after death as a diamond, and I told her that if she goes first then I'll consider my ONE AND ONLY body piercing to be of her as an earring. Instructions and contact information with LifeGem have been included in our Wills. I'm not worried about death, and I've tried my best to instill the same feelings in my children. I could care less about a memorial, or grieving, or 'visiting me' - I want them to join me in Heaven later. |
| Posted by: JaneyMae 14-Apr-2004, 03:31 PM |
| Hey, I have it all worked out. I do not believe in funerals as they are today. I'm going to be cremated, family and friends are to have a huge party and then sprinkle my ashes down the South Fork of the Snake River. I love to fish and that way I can go fishing for eternity. Simple. |
| Posted by: maisky 14-Apr-2004, 04:15 PM | ||
That sounds a lot like MY plan. Great minds think alike! |
| Posted by: oldraven 14-Apr-2004, 04:26 PM |
| *runs away from this topic as fast as his steel toed boots can take him. muttering things like 'live forever' and 'imortal'* |
| Posted by: gettin-away 14-Apr-2004, 05:13 PM |
| When I lost my wife in 1981 she was only 20 and I was just 21. Our daughter was only 3 1/2 months old and she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. My only thought was when my time came I wanted to be placed with my daughter's mother. I bought two plots in our local cemetery and the headstone has both of our names on it. I have since been in other relationships and even remarried briefly once, but after some of the things that have been done to me and my daughter, it's looking more and more like I will spend the rest of my time alone. I don't have the trust in people I used to have. Anyway, knowing that some things are in place that will make it easier for my daughter helps me. The only difficult part is going to the cemetery now and seeing my name already on a stone. It is definitely a reminder of my mortality. But I'm glad I did what I did and my daughter can see how much I loved her mother. gettin-away |
| Posted by: CelticRose 15-Apr-2004, 12:15 PM |
| My husband and I discussed a long time ago that we both wanted to be cremated and our ashes spread out in the middle of the desert. Simple and less expensive. |
| Posted by: RobertH 15-Apr-2004, 08:14 PM |
| My first choice was to be put out back in a Glad Bag. Wife said "NO". Looks like Uncle Sam will take care of that for me. Plot in a veteran's cemetery near here, simple headstone, 21 rounds over my head. Maybe I'll drift low enough to the ceremony to hear "Taps". And Peckery...you're a sock monkey! Don't you just get re-woven? |
| Posted by: JaneyMae 16-Apr-2004, 07:55 AM | ||
Could it be...............could it be that we might be related?    |
| Posted by: maisky 16-Apr-2004, 08:08 AM | ||
That's what mom and dad CLAIMED anyway! |
| Posted by: JaneyMae 16-Apr-2004, 11:16 AM |
Really? I think you must have been adopted.........or I was  |
| Posted by: maisky 16-Apr-2004, 12:26 PM | ||
Or they bought us at the same kennel.  |
| Posted by: JaneyMae 16-Apr-2004, 03:11 PM |
| ::lo That's probably more the case! Maybe that's why we are so different from our parental units |
| Posted by: MDF3530 16-Apr-2004, 03:39 PM | ||
I quote Sean Connery: "You cannot die, MacLeod, as long as you keep your head." |
| Posted by: Annabelle 16-Apr-2004, 03:48 PM |
| I'm going to live forever! You can't kill weeds! |
| Posted by: peckery 16-Apr-2004, 04:19 PM | ||
R O U N D U P |
| Posted by: 3Ravens 16-Apr-2004, 11:52 PM |
| I have already discussed this with my daughters. If the manner of my death is such that there are any usable parts to be donated to the living, that gets first priority. Then, the local med school can claim whatever it wants for research, teaching or whatever. Anything left over gets cremated. Only thing not decided yet is where I want the ashes scattered. I did tell the girls that if I die before the decision is made, they should scatter me someplace wild and unspoiled. |
| Posted by: Liriel Baenre Do'Urden 17-Apr-2004, 08:28 AM |
| I told my husband I was going to stuff him and put him on the couch with a playstation control in one hand and a beer in another. Unfortunately he enlisted my mother's help and now he will be cremated and place in the family crypt on the family farm. I was kinda of hoping I would be able to have him around forever. Like scare the new boyfriends. My husband has a bad heart and has had several small heart attacks. His arrangements have been made since the last attack. My has yet to be discussed with my children who are 13 years old at the moment. I thought I would wait a few more years and no scare the pants off them yet. |
| Posted by: gaberlunzie 17-Apr-2004, 01:45 PM | ||
Welldone, 3Ravens! I have a card as a donor for many, many years now so that they can take anything useful of my body after death, too. The "rest" will be cremated then. |
| Posted by: JaneyMae 18-Apr-2004, 11:54 AM |
| Oh yea, I forgot the donor thing. I have been signed up to be an organ donor for 20 years. Not sure anyone would want what's left of me anymore Then I get to be cremated and sent down the river. Preferrably it will be in early July for the big hatch or possibly in August when the hoppers are on. |
| Posted by: Elspeth 19-Apr-2004, 07:11 AM |
| Sounds like I'm the only one weirded out by the idea of cremation. I guess I like the burial plot idea because I like cemeteries. When I was young my grandfather used to tell me stories of his relations so that when I went to the cemetery I then felt connected with them. And the headstones always fascinated me. Reading the dates to see how old they were, wondering what happened to them. There is one of a fellow who died in the War to End All Wars that has his picture in porcelin on the headstone. His name was Jolly. Maybe it's just a writer's imagination, but I find a lot of inspiration from reading headstones. And cemeteries are so peaceful, especially the old ones with towering trees and flowering shrubs planted generations before. |
| Posted by: JaneyMae 19-Apr-2004, 07:55 AM |
| CR, A great deal of the people in my area do not believe in cremation because they believe they need this earthly body to go to their "planet" with is perceived as heaven, or the kingdom, they will go to. I think that's one of the reasons I can't consider the cemetary thing. They hold too much stock in the piece of ground and the whole body thing. You are right, cemetaries are quiet and peaceful and have way cool headstones and stories. Good point, woman! |
| Posted by: Elspeth 19-Apr-2004, 08:02 AM |
| Hey Janey! It's me Elspeth, not CR! I'm not against cremation in principle. It just creeps me out. Maybe it's the connection with the flames of hell or the pictures of the ovens used during the Holocaust. Whatever it is, I don't want to burn. Worms and creepy crawlies are more my speed. Weird, I know. I won't know the difference but we all have our quirks. |
| Posted by: JaneyMae 19-Apr-2004, 08:06 AM |
| Sorry, Elspeth, I'm really having a Monday morning!! You make me smile -- worms and creepie crawlies -- ::yuck I know what you are talking about. I'm just glad that when the time comes I won't be here to worry about it. I get to go flyfishing and maybe play a round of golf with my mom I do love to wander old cemetaries right now. They are so awsome! |
| Posted by: Elspeth 19-Apr-2004, 08:14 AM |
Glad I made you smile on a Monday morning.  My work for today is done. Now I can take a nap. |
| Posted by: JaneyMae 19-Apr-2004, 08:19 AM |
| Nap? Work finished for the day? WOW! That would be so awsome....one can only dream....I have to continue for Idaho Standard Achievement Testing preparation and discussion around what the kids were SUPPOSED to have done on their papers. A nap would be good....Enjoy! |
| Posted by: Elspeth 19-Apr-2004, 08:24 AM |
| We had back to back girls' birthday party sleepovers this weekend. Two nights of screaming girls and I am more than ready for a quiet day. |
| Posted by: barddas 19-Apr-2004, 08:43 AM | ||
I can understand that. But these days the worms can't even get to you. Because of the concrete crypt/seal that is put around the coffin. Your comments on cremation remind me of my friend, Ric. His mother set him on fire when he was about 4-5. He was burned on 30% of his body. He says the flames tried to get him when he was a little one. He will just be completing the circle when he dies...... Just popped in m'head.. thought I would share it. I'm still up in the air about it. My grand father was cremated. He sits in my aunts house some where in a box. There is no marker to even show he was here. I have thought about just buying a plot and putting a stone there just to say he was here. And for future family to find when working on family history. |
| Posted by: Arianrhod 19-Apr-2004, 08:50 AM |
| Throw my ashes over Three Sisters Wilderness area.. so I can fly with the Eagles..and Osprey.. and Hawks.. In Service to the Dream, Paula |
| Posted by: barddas 19-Apr-2004, 08:54 AM | ||
Part of me thinks that too. Spread *some* of me at the 'Chimney tops' in the Tennessee Mountains. Still undecided |
| Posted by: Elspeth 19-Apr-2004, 09:35 AM |
| I agree, Jason with your idea of a marker. There are those who will come after who will want to look up their dead ancestors. How many of us have done that in researching family tree? I have a friend who moved away after college. He lives far away from his place of birth, but wants to be buried amongst his ancestors. His wife, however, doesn't. I've thought for him as well the answer might be a marker, remembering his place in the family even if he is buried elsewhere. |
| Posted by: CelticRose 19-Apr-2004, 04:58 PM |
| I like cemetaries too, Elspeth. I just don't want to be in one. LOL I have a friend from England who is a photographer and she has recently taken some really neat photos of the grave yards there. Really very beautiful. I would love to go through them. |
| Posted by: katydid15 20-Apr-2004, 11:20 AM |
| I plan to be cremated. I would like to have my ashes spread in the Great Smoky Mountains where I grew up. I have lived away from my beloved mountains since 1974 but they still call to me. I would like my final resting place to be where the wildflowers bloom and the winds blow free. |
| Posted by: Eamon 20-Apr-2004, 12:03 PM |
| "Lay me down in a field of flame and heather, Render up my body into the burning heart of God in the belly of a black-winged bird"-Counting Crows Interesting topic (but from Peck, I expect nothing less!). I will probably be buried in as close as I can to my family plot in Hatboro, PA. My grandparents and other relatives are there, and my Mom and Dad have a plot there as well. One of my close friends suddenly died this January (he was only 24...  ) and his folks had him cremated. I sometimes wish I had a place where I could visit him. I frequently go and hang out with my Grandmothers, who are buried next to each other. "There is a stillness there, thankful found"Eamon |
| Posted by: Knightly Knight 20-Apr-2004, 05:57 PM |
| Hey Perckey if geanealogy is of any interest of you. Being buried in the family plot might make it easier for future Perkery Historians to see your stone and follow check out the Monkey Family As far as being cremated or buried, try them both and choose one.  |
| Posted by: Annabelle 20-Apr-2004, 07:41 PM |
| I'm going to live forever! Because you can't kill the wicked! |