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How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:
>1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point
>a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
>
>2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
>
>3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
>with that.
>
>4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
>
>5) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
>
>6) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
>over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
>
>7) edited for general audiences
>
>8) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
>
>9) Don't use any punctuation
>
>10) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
>
>11) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
>answer.
>
>12) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
>
>13) Sing along at the opera.
>
>14) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
>
>15) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle
>sounds all day.
>
>16) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
>party because you're not in the mood.
>
>17) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
>
>18) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!"
>"3rd time this week!!!"
>
>19) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
>yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
>
>20) Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going
>to have to let one of you go."
>
> And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity...
>
>21) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they
>sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
>
>
>
>
>
>10 Bad Ways To Start A Conversation With Your Parents
>
>10. The important thing is, no one was hurt.
>
>9. Has the school called yet?
>
>8. Do you still have full coverage on the car?
>
>7. Now don't over react like the other parents did...
>
>6. First of all, I was an innocent bystander..
>
>5. Before you ask, No I wasn't drunk.
>
>4. How quickly can you liquidate your retirement plan?
>
>3. Do you think it's possible to get high from second-hand smoke?
>
>2. You can't believe everything that the neighbors say...
>
>1. I love you. I really, really love you.
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There's a dear little plant that grows in our Isle
Twas St . Patrick himself, sure, that set it;
And the sun of his labour with pleasure did smile,
And with dew from his eye often wet it.
It grows through the bog, through the brake, through the
Mireland, and they call it the dear little shamrock of Ireland.
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A How To Guide!
