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Elspeth 
Posted: 12-Aug-2004, 05:11 PM
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A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"
> One child answered, "Mary."
> The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
> A little kid said, "Verge."
> Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary

> >''
> >***********
> >KIDS IN CHURCH
> >3-year-old, Reese:
> >"Our Father, Who does art in
> >heaven, Harold is His name.
> >Amen."
> >
> >
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >
> >A little boy was overheard praying:
> >"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
> >I'm having a real good time like I am."
> >
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >
> >A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
> >They were ready to discuss the last one.
> >The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.
> >Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
> >"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >
> >After the christening of his baby brother in church,
> >Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
> >His father asked him three times what was wrong.
> >Finally, the boy replied,
> >"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a
> >Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's
Prayer for several evenings at bedtime,
> >she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
> >Finally, she decided to go solo.
> >I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated
> >each word right up to the end of the prayer:
> >"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
> >"but deliver us some E-mail.
> >
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >One particular four-year-old prayed,
> >"And forgive us our trash baskets
> >as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
> >
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to
> >church service,
> >"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
> >One bright little girl replied,
> >"Because people are
> >sleeping."
> >
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting
together in church.
> >Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
> >Finally, his big sister had had enough.
> >"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
> >"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
> >Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
> >"See those two men standing by the door?
> >They're hushers."
> >
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >
> > A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3.
> >The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
> >Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
> >"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
> >'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
> >Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > A father was at the beach with his children
> >when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
> >grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
> >where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
> >"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
> > "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
> > The boy thought a moment and then said,
> >"Did God throw him back down?"
> >
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >
> >A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their
> >six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
> > "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
> > "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
> > The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I
invite
> >all these people to dinner?"


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dfilpus 
Posted: 12-Aug-2004, 05:37 PM
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Then there's the kid who sang about "Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear"


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gtrplr 
Posted: 12-Aug-2004, 06:06 PM
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And the one who said God's first name was 'Andy'. Because the song said so.

"Andy walks with me,
Andy talks with me,
Andy tells me I am his own."

Anytime I see a thread like this, though, I'm reminded of a billboard I saw in downtown Nashville. It said:

Some churches want children to sit down and be quiet.
We prefer ours to stand up and be counted.


Not necessarily funny, but a great sentiment, nonetheless.



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maggiemahone1 
Posted: 12-Aug-2004, 06:47 PM
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Kids say the cutest things, don't they? I ask my 4 year old granddaughter Kali Hope what she was going to sing at church and she responds, "I Melt", then she says with a big beautiful grin and her blue eyes twinkling, "Grandma, I was trickin' you." biggrin.gif

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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 14-Aug-2004, 01:44 PM
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Then there was the time the minister found a young boy studying all the plaques in the foyer. After a while he asked what they were and the minister said, "Those are the names of all the young people who died in the service." The boy, visibly shaken, gulped and asked, "Was that the ten o'clock or the eleven o'clock service?"


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deckers 
Posted: 23-Aug-2004, 01:15 PM
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Regarding "Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear" and "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me."

When my father-in-law was a boy, used to think that there WAS a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. My wife, when she was a little girl, thought that the Andy walking and talking song was about HER dog named Andy. For some reason, she also thought he could shoot a gun.


Erik Deckers


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Ceciliastar1 
Posted: 23-Aug-2004, 01:44 PM
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QUOTE (gtrplr @ 12-Aug-2004, 06:06 PM)
Some churches want children to sit down and be quiet.
We prefer ours to stand up and be counted.


Not necessarily funny, but a great sentiment, nonetheless.

I totally agree with that. I think it is important to include kids in the mass/church service, etc. My family brings all of the kids to mass and we have had the priest tell us to not bring them. I think that is wrong. How else are the kids going to learn about the service? People say they are distracting and all I can say to people who say that about kids is that they should not let the kids distract them. It's not the kids fault you can't pay attention. Grr..can you tell I am slightly bitter? I don't know, it's just my two cents.


--------------------
There's a dear little plant that grows in our Isle
Twas St . Patrick himself, sure, that set it;
And the sun of his labour with pleasure did smile,
And with dew from his eye often wet it.
It grows through the bog, through the brake, through the
Mireland, and they call it the dear little shamrock of Ireland.
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gtrplr 
Posted: 23-Aug-2004, 02:02 PM
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I'm not Catholic, but I totally agree with you about the children. I go to church to worship God. If I can't focus on Him and not be distracted by outside influences, I'm not focused enough.

Our church just bought two 55 passenger schoolbuses for our bus ministry. We're expanding our area and routes to bring more children and youth to services. Our present bus is going to be put to use to help bring more seniors, who can't (or shouldn't) drive themselves. We bought both buses for $3400, which is a terrific bargain. Yesterday, after the AM service, not only did we vote to buy them, but we took up a collection to help pay for them. How much did we raise? $3400. Not bad for a congreation of about 120 members. Oh, and yesterday, we also had a young couple join us. They said they had been looking for a home church for about 5 years. His job? He drives a bus for Metro Transit. He's been looking for a church where he could get involved in a bus ministry. Well, he found one.

Thank God.
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Ceciliastar1 
Posted: 23-Aug-2004, 02:06 PM
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That's so cool!
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