Crimson Oblivion, Good bye Celtic...its been fun
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urian |
Posted: 17-Sep-2004, 11:22 PM
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heretic. lurker in the shadows
Group: Scotland
Posts: 1,546
Joined: 08-May-2004
Zodiac: Hazel
Realm: Texas
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A young man stumbles up three flights of stairs to a lonely 16x16 effeciency apartment. The day's drama still on his mind. Upset at the loss of his job, tired of beaing told he's wortless and a liar by the woman he was married to. Weary of the ever increasing realization of the futility of his life he unlocks the door to the apartment and strips naked in the living area and heads to the bathroom. He runs his ritual bath water, turns on the sink and finds the clippers he'd put away months ago.He'd been trying to grow his hair out and making good progress but now(along with everything else) it felt pointless. With each stroke of the blade over his head he remembered one more reminder of how utterly unneeded he was. He had been struggling against the tide for sometime yet steadily going under. He was tired of fighting. He finished with the clippers and lathered his scalp up and shaved his head bald. It was always such a wonderfully simple pleasure when he did that. Now, though, it seemed to empty..so hollow...like the rest of his life. He knicked himself several times but didn't bother to stop the bleeding. He let it run down his head, sting his eyes, and drop into the drain. After he finished he made his way back into the living room and picked up the phone to call his exwife. He did miss her..and was so sorry that everything had come to this. He got her voice mail and , in a cracked and tired tone, he simply said:"Lost my job. GUess you'r eright. I am a loser. Good bye." He walked back towards the bathroom picking up an old package along the way. The water was so warm and inviting when he turned the faucet off. He was about to step into it when he paused for a moment to watch how each drop made ripples that effected the surface of the water. He started thinking that , maybe, he made ripples in his life as well...effected people and made a change in someone's life. He watched until he saw one water drop that fell flat. Made no ripple and just faded away. "that's me" He thought" No ripple. nothing" He opened the package he had brought with him and produced an exacto knife that he'd picked up for crafts purposes and crawled into the bath. With no remorse he opened the arteries on both of his inner elbows and the ones on his inner thighs as well. It stung for just a moment but the warm water helped him to relax. His thoughts drifted to wondering about who would miss him and would would mourn. Then he remembered the drop of water and snickered at himself, once again saying:"No ripple." As his blood dripped and poured into the water he watched the world fade into a crimson oblivion and he ,along with it, finally knew peace.
this is my way of coping right now...too much going on and I cant handle it anymore...I am not going to end my life..but..I feel sooo very helpless right now... Good bye all..I love you all..mayhap I will return eventually...
Peace be with you Urian Shokar Lightbringer Michael Ray Lovell jr
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'Dying for being different is still better than living as a Sheep'-anon
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WizardofOwls |
Posted: 18-Sep-2004, 10:43 PM
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Wanderer and Vagabond
Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 5,142
Joined: 12-Mar-2004
Zodiac: Vine
Realm: Wytheville, Virginia
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Michael-
I truly wish that I had some magic words or arcane formula that would make every thing better for you and make the problems go away, but unfortuanatley I don't. All I have to offer you are my friendship and prayers. And I freely give you both. You have made many friends here who care about you and want to lend a hand, myslef amongst the rest! Elspeth is right, we DO love you! You're part of our family now, and families take care of each other! PLEASE feel free to e-mail me anytime. I have broad shoulders and patient ears and would love to help in any way I can! Just hang in there, okay? We're all worried about you and care deeply!
And anyone who would tell you that you are worthless or a loser OBVIOUSLY has never bothered to try to get to know you! Otherwise they would know just how wrong they are!
I love you, my friend! And I care. Allen R. Alderman
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Slàn agus beannachd, Allen R. Alderman
'S i Alba tìr mo chridhe. 'S i Gàidhlig cànan m' anama. Scotland is the land of my heart. Gaelic is the language of my soul.
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