, They say the darnest things
Posted: 22-Jun-2009, 05:06 PM
Group: Celtic Nation
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
TEACHER: David, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
DAVID: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Dana, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
DANA: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Betsy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Paige, why do you always get so dirty?
PAIGE: & nbsp; Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Rhonda, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
RHONDA: No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
PASS IT AROUND
AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE
Posted: 25-Jun-2009, 12:31 AM
Group: Celtic Nation
| I can just see a child doing this.
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an Urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the
employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a Helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just
landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:
Posted: 01-Aug-2014, 11:48 AM
Realm: Tampa, FL
| These aren't jokes, but some cute things my niece said recently.
About a month ago, I was walking with my 5 year old niece down a long hallway at church to take her to the worship service. On the walls are some murals painted by members of the church. There is a mural of Noah's ark and some animals, a mural of a lighthouse, a large tree with hand print leaves and a one of Jesus with children. Passing the one of Jesus she says "That's not what Jesus looks like." I said, " It's not? What does he look like?" She replied, "I don't know but he doesn't look like that."
Another day we were leaving church in the evening and she was with me again. As we were in the car I was commenting on how beautiful the sky was. It was all pink and purple swirly and puffy clouds. She says from the backseat, "I wish I was Jesus so I could touch it."
She says funny/crazy stuff all of the time, but those are the two that have stuck in my mind this summer.
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