Ok, new game I just learned and spent the afternoon about hurting myself reading and playing it.
Rules are simple.
First poster (me) asks a question. You reply with *the* worst advice you could possibly come up with to answer. Then follow it up with your own question.
Ready?
Ok, so my mother in law is coming to dinner for her birthday. What should I cook?
You should cook her a meal of banana slugs and earth worms sauted in horse radish and vinegar sauce, and for the main course Deep fried fresh road kill possum and some Pine needle tea to wash it all down. And a birthday cake made with diced onions and whole garlic, also 102 candles on it.
One of the drivers just called me and told me! he bent the new bumper we just put on his truck last Friday evening. What should I do?.
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Semper Fi
"If a man has found nothing he's willing to die for, he is not ready to live"
DISCIPLINE MUST BE A HABIT SO INGRAINED THAT IT IS STRONGER THAN THE EXCITEMENT OF BATTLE OR THE FEAR OF DEATH. General George S. Patton
Laws that forbid the carrying of firearms, disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes. Such laws make things worse for the assulted, and better for the assailants. They serve rather to encourge, than to prevent homicides. For an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.
statistics of course! Make sure you don't buy any calculators or books to help too, cause it would just be a waste of your time. Don't visit a tutor and don't show up half the time, you will do fine
I have poison ivy on my arms from working in the yard this weekend, what should I do?
Keep scratching. Every time you think about it, give it a scratch. Oh, and if you can get it to spread, that makes it *thinner*, so it will clear up faster. Might want to consider bathing it with kerosene every so often. It helps.
I have a very small house...what kind of dog should I get?
burst though the door, let the light aroma of cigarettes and hard liquor follow you in. simply tell him your late because you've been stung out and drunk for the entirety of last week. To top it all off, your alarm clock didn't go off because you pawned it for drug money...You WOULD'VE been there on time but you had to get the taste of scotch whiskey and hooker spit out of your mouth! This must be said with a straight face, and look like you're about to topple over...even though you're sitting down!
Keep posting--after all what's more important? Earning a lliving or having fun!
I want a new job, what should I do?
PS thanks for starting this, Sekhmet--looks like it will be great fun!
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God then made man. The Italians for their beauty. The French for their cuisine. The Welsh for their voices. The Germans for their cars. And on and on until He looked at what He had created and said, "This is all very well, but no-one is having fun. I'll have to make an Irishman."
Why, with lots of bass, of course! Plunk 'em on the counter she just cleaned not ten minutes ago and announce you'll be drinking beer on the porch if she goes looking for you for dinner. Mmm...bass.
My son is turning into a climber-baby. Should I start moving the furniture around?
Move, or just stay out side, either way its cleaner.
My brother-in-law’s 60th birthday is coming up, and I was thinking of toasting him at the party by saying: Come on man… You don’t look 60… You look more like 65. What do you think?
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We’re all poets, only some of us write it down. JC 9/27/08
Anyone who has the courage to disagree, deserves all do respect. JC 4/28/08
Life is a loosing battle, so you might as well live it up. J.C. 3/29/08
Life should be like skiing, you have the most fun on the way down. J.C. 8/17/07
Take their word for it, and that’s just what you’ll get. J.C. 3/19/07
Only the truth is worth the ultimate sacrifice. J.C. 1/26/06
Compared to the far right, the far left is somewhere in the middle. J.C. 2/22/06
I’ll be the first to apologies, as long as I get one back. J.C. 3/7/06
It’s a happy man, who can laugh at himself.
If you’re looking for a new experience, don’t hire someone with a lot of it. J.C. sometime in 1990