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Patch 
Posted: 26-Nov-2009, 10:50 AM
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by Jack Prelutsky

The turkey shot out of the oven

and rocketed into the air

it knocked every plate off the table

and partly demolished a chair

it ricocheted into a corner

and burst with a deafening boom

then splattered all over the kitchen

completely obscuring the room

it stuck to the walls and the windows

it totally coated the floor

there was turkey attached to the ceiling

where there'd never been turkey before

it blanketed every appliance

it smeared every saucer and bowl

there wasn't a way I could stop it

that turkey was out of control

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure

and thought with chagrin as I mopped

that I'd never again stuff a turkey

with popcorn that hadn't been popped.
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McRoach 
Posted: 24-Nov-2013, 11:42 PM
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Here is a poem I have always enjoyed about this time of year.

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
my big brother Tom took me out on the stoop,
then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
and he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
when he told me of the horrors of…. Black November.
“Come around August, now listen to me,
each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
and soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
and you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.
And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
in will burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head,
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ‘n pink,
and scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.
And then comes the worst part”, he said not bluffing,
“She’ll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing”.
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
and as I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
high-roughage salads, juice and diet cola.
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing my fitness tapes.
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
and tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed.
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
as they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound.
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap.
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
and smiled at me and said….. “Christmas is coming…”

-Anonymous


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"May those who love us, love us. And those who hate us, may God turn their hearts. And if he doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping."
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