Dear Cuzins:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2000 TENNESSEE EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the STATE of TENNESSEE.
If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The TENNESSEE EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: "WINDERS 2000", with a background picture of Willie Nelson superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Please also note: The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse" My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption" Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys" Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard" Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive" Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs" Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TENNESSEE EDITION: Cancel............stopdat Reset.............try'er agin Yes...............yep No................nope Find..............hunt fer it Go to.............over yonder Back..............back yonder Help..............hep me out here Stop..............kwitit (WHOA!) Start.............crank'er up Settings..........settins Programs......... stuff at duz stuff Documents....... .stuff ah done did Save........................kinda like havin' a freezer Serial Port..........fun with a double-barrell RAM..................rememberin' to look over yer shoulder before turnin' left. Corrupted file.......any dang polytishun Format..................it's the first place you put yer feet Gigahertz..............frog got missed, but you is stuck to the boat
Also note that the TENNESSEE EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2000:
Tiperiter....................a word processing program Colerin' Book.................a graphics program Cyferin' Mersheen.............calculator Outhouse Paper...................notepad Inner-net........................Microsoft explorer 5.0 Pitchers.....................a graphics viewer Surgery.....................disk defragmentor Tewls.........................comes with a calendar Spellin'.......................bee www..............................dot c'mon
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused, but you know how hard it is to get stuff where it belongs. Some folks, you just can't reach, and this edition was meant for users of a higher sophistication level. If you received a copy of the TENNESSEE EDITION, and still don't know what to make of it, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version toute suite.
I hope this helps all y'all!
Billy Bob Gates
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The peculiar evil of silencing the expression of an opinion is, that it is robbing the human race; posterity as well as the existing generation; those who dissent from the opinion, still more than those who hold it. If the opinion is right, they are deprived of the opportunity of exchanging error for truth: if wrong, they lose, what is almost as great a benefit, the clearer perception and livelier impression of truth, produced by its collision with error. ~John Stuart Mill, On Liberty, 1859
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge. ~Mark Twain
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