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> Mama Said These Things.....
marti64 
Posted: 03-Nov-2007, 01:46 PM
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We don't live in a barn!!!! Shut the @#@#@#@#@ door!!!!!!

SSSOOOOOOO many times, I got that one!!


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]AN EXCERPT FROM A POEM THAT I WROTE ON 10/11/07

WE CAN'T CHANGE WHAT WE HAVE DONE....
BUT ONLY TAKE A LESSON FROM EACH EXPERIENCE
AND MAKE THE MOST OF EACH MINUTE THAT WE HAVE LEFT
AND TELL OURELVES THAT IT IS OK TO LIVE, LAUGH AND CRY.....
PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE ALL WORK TOGETHER
TO GIVE US WHAT WE CAN AND SHOULD EXPERIENCE
AND WE NEED TO CHERISH ALL OF THE TIME
THAT WE SPEND WITH OURSELVES AND OTHERS MAKING THE MOST OF THE SPECIAL MEMORIES THAT ARE OURS..
AND THE ONES THAT WE HAVE YET TO CREATE WITH THE PEOPLE THAT WE HAVEN'T MET!!!!![/SIZE]
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gcw57 
  Posted: 04-Nov-2007, 02:24 AM
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rolleyes.gif Stop talking while I'm talking! Now, you explain to me just exactly how etc, etc, etc.

She'd keep asking me questions and then tell me to shut up when I tried to answer. Oh, life can be so unfair to wee kiddies.


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Robert Phoenix 
Posted: 11-Nov-2007, 09:54 PM
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Came in an email:

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you .


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Pour mouth to mouth
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jime307 
Posted: 11-Nov-2007, 11:19 PM
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ROFL!!!! lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif


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Nara 
Posted: 30-Jan-2008, 01:40 PM
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biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif

My mom used to get very confused surrounded by her four wild daughters at the dinner table and yell "Don't talk with your mouth open, and don't chew with food in your mouth!"
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stoirmeil 
Posted: 30-Jan-2008, 02:17 PM
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*waving any vaguely pointed object in our faces*
"You see this!!?? You could lose an eye!!"

"Why are you BAREFOOTED?"
*run away at least 20 feet and yell back: "Because we don't have any SHOES ON!!"

"

But conversely:
"Quit crabbing. You'll eat more dirt than that before you die!"

"BEHAVE!"
*run away at least 20 feet and yell back: "We're BEING HAVE!!"

"If you don't eat that cereal you're gonna WEAR it!"
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Leelee 
Posted: 27-Apr-2008, 04:32 PM
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OCH!!!!CHILD!!!!
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ranger 
Posted: 27-Apr-2008, 08:34 PM
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There were several (that I now use on my own), but one that keeps popping to mind...

'You better stop crying, or I'm gonna give you something to cry about.'


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"...so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

'The Lord of the Rings' - Book one
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Gwynhwyvar 
Posted: 29-Apr-2008, 06:55 PM
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"Close that door, you weren't raised in a barn. You want some hay."

"If (name of person) ate doggie poop, would you?" - that one pretty much said it all.



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"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.""
Psalm 91:1-2


"Be what you would seem to be--or, if you'd like it put more simply--Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise." from "Alice in Wonderland"
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Harlot 
Posted: 29-Apr-2008, 07:12 PM
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My mother always said when we (my brother and I ) were really bad, DO YOU WANT TO TELL YOUR DAD OR DO YOU WANT ME TO WHEN HE GETS HOME cry.gif crybaby.gif


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CelticQueenCelticLord 
Posted: 04-Feb-2009, 11:32 PM
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Okay ya'll, now I miss my Mum. Been gone now almost 7 years. Thanks, you brought tears of laughter to my eyes


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Camac
Posted: 05-Feb-2009, 07:56 AM
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When asked why I did something and I would answer "I thought it was OK" my MOther would answer well see what thought did "What? you though if you planted a feather it would grow a chicken" I have always wondered where mothers get these things. Seems to be Universal.


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thesilverfox09 
Posted: 29-Jun-2009, 11:02 AM
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My mother always told me I was going to flit among the daisyes and land on a cow pie! My mother got her sayings from my great-grandmother-and she was always right-on! angel_not.gif
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Faerydreamer 
Posted: 04-Jul-2009, 09:57 AM
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'You're face is going to freeze that way!'

From my grandmother, 'Did you wash your hands after using the bathroom? No, go do it now.'

'I can hear you.' Even if she was in another room with the TV or radio on.



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gcw57 
  Posted: 04-Jul-2009, 08:12 PM
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One my grandmother used to say after a meal was "There now, I'm sufficiently sufansified!"
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