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> Kid Jokes, Favorite Kid Jokes
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nbailey 
Posted: 25-Aug-2009, 07:14 PM
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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an Urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the
  employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
  "Hello."
  "Is your daddy home?" he asked.
  "Yes," whispered the small voice.
  "May I talk with him?"
  The child whispered, "No."
  Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
  "Yes."
  "May I talk with her?"
  Again the small voice whispered, "No."
  Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
  "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
  Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
  "No, he's busy," whispered the child.
  "Busy doing what?"
  "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
  Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a Helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What
is
 that noise?"
  "A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
  "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly alarmed.
  In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just
  landed the hello-copper."
  Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
  Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:
  "ME."
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Patch 
Posted: 25-Aug-2009, 07:36 PM
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That one is priceless!

Slàinte,    

Patch    
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Rindy 
Posted: 25-Aug-2009, 07:53 PM
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laugh.gif Thanks for posting this one nbailey!!! thumbs_up.gif

Slainte
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nbailey 
Posted: 05-Mar-2010, 09:48 PM
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I haven`t heard any good kid jokes for a long time. Has anyone got one to post? rolleyes.gif
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wiramc 
Posted: 22-Jul-2010, 04:05 AM
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These are for kids not about kids.

question: What happens when a duck flies upside down?
answer: He quacks up.

question: Why is getting up at 5:00 AM like a pig's tail?
answer: Because, it's all twirly.

boy to teacher: Sorry I'm late. I had to help my father put out more elephant repellent.
teacher: There are no elephants within 10,000 miles of here.
boy: It must be working.
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togo 
Posted: 15-Oct-2011, 04:51 PM
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A farmer hears a knock at his door late one winter's night. He opens his door, looks around and looks down and there, at his doorstep, is a snail. The snail says, "Can I come in, I'm really coooooold?" The Farmer says, "No, get outta here you stupid snail," and kicks him across the garden. Spring comes, then summer then fall and before you know it, it's winter again. The farmer hears a knock on his door. He opens the door, looks around and looks down and there on his doorstep is that snail, who says, "What did you do that for?"

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ggegoul 
Posted: 29-Feb-2012, 10:08 AM
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How do you make a napkin dance????

You put a little "Boogie" in it ...
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jmparrish 
Posted: 12-Mar-2012, 09:14 PM
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An old woman sets a pan of muffins in the oven to bake. One muffin turns to the other and says, "*PHEW* It's getting hot in here!"
The other muffin screams, "AHHHH!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Why are there only 239 beans in Irish soup?
Because if there were one more, it'd be two farty!
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Verbena 
Posted: 11-Apr-2012, 07:10 PM
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If April showers bring May flowers - What do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims
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MDF3530 
Posted: 11-Apr-2012, 10:10 PM
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Why is the number six afraid of the number seven?

Because seven eight nine.


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May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.


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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 11-Jun-2013, 10:36 AM
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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.

She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep with Daddy."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice, "The big sissy."
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"Now here's my secret", said the fox, "it is very simple. It is only with ones heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."

("The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery)


"The soul would have no rainbow, if the eye had no tears."
(Native American Proverb)
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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 11-Jun-2013, 10:41 AM
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Maybe a bit offensive to some but too funny not to post it:

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.

Inside the closet,the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," the man replies.

"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.

"No thanks," the man replies.

"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.

"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he's in.

"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.

"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position. The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.

"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.

"Yes, it is," replies the man.

"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.

"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.

"Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed.

The next weekend, the little boy's father says "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."

"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.

"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.

"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.

"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS? That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away. At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

To which the priest exclaims, "Don't you start that crap in here."
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Robert Phoenix 
Posted: 11-Jul-2013, 10:26 PM
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A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks, "Do you have any luggage?"

"No", said the photon. "I'm traveling light."


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Pour mouth to mouth
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togo 
Posted: 17-May-2014, 07:20 AM
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What did one snowman say to another snowman??

Do you smell carrots?
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MelissaDawn7 
Posted: 28-May-2014, 08:48 PM
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Lol these remind me of the kinda jokes my dad likes to tell tongue.gif
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