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I'm sick of being the only one who cares...
Posted by Taliesin on Mar 16th, 2009 9:27 PM
When I was in high school, I "accepted Christ". I find out later that the more accurate verbiage was that He accepted me, but I digress. And I am thankful, regardless.

Back in the early 90's, it was common to be "sold out" for Christ, or "on fire" for Christ. Not saying this is good or bad, though it did cause a great many of us to have to come to grips with not having that excitement that we equated with being "on fire" as we grew out of our care-free younger years.

Back then, there were many times where we told our friends, "hey man, keep me accountable. 'As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another', you know. I struggle in this area, and I'm being honest with you so that you can can best help me stay on the straight and narrow", etc, etc. I'm sure these things are common in every generation.

What I found, though, was that what my friends REALLY wanted was a Christian they could sin with, who wouldn't really remind them that they are called to a higher standard, and that walking the Christian walk means giving up a lot of things. You see, a lot of big, mainstream churches like to talk about how tough the Christian life is, and then spend all their time trying to make it as easy as possible. When you read the Scriptures, you find that it IS a lot tougher than we originally thought, and what we thought would be a simple decision turns out to be a lifetime of denying ourselves what our flesh tells us we REALLY want. My friends wanted the semblance of being held accountable without having to make the tough decisions on who to spend their time with, how to behave, jokes to make, etc. When it came down to really being reminded that we are to attempt to live holy lives, they got mad when I did what they asked.

So now I'm 31. I thought I left high school FAR behind, but it turns out you never really go too far from it. There's a great deal of immaturity in all of us, and it comes out at inopportune times, making us look rather foolish.

I have a friend who I thought was my best friend. He came (back) to our friendship after he was having problems with the girl he originally left it for. She was now his wife, and she was now leaving him (She was not a Christian, and he was). When he dropped the news on me, I was flummoxed, and I dropped everything to meet him at the pub for a pint or three to talk. All of what had passed, things that were said to me; it was all forgotten, because he needed a friend, and now.

The divorce went through, after 3 years of pain on his part, begging her to come back, etc., etc. He wanted to reconcile, and he put himself through hell and back obeying the Session and making impassioned, heartfelt pleas to her to return. It was all to no avail, though she toyed with him, to be sure. I was there as much as I could be, knowing that he'd be weak at this point, and knowing that he needed a friend.

Fast forward to now, where he's decided that he wants to begin a relationship with another non-Christian. What's more, he's decided he wants to flip the bird to me, God, our Church, etc., regardless of the fact that I was there for this friend when he needed someone to be there for him. All was forgiven when he needed a friend, and now, he could care less again. He lies to me when I ask him what's happening, and he never bothers to talk anymore.

I've got a lot going on right now with my family. We just had our first child in December, and he's taxing my wife and I, and our relationship... I don't have the time I once did to encourage my buddy as I once did. I don't have the time to go down to the pub as often as I would like. I can't sit and play video games as I used to be able to do every now and again.

But that doesn't mean I don't care. I'm just sick of being the only one.

Please post your comments below.

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The story gets more interesting...and sad.
Posted by Taliesin on Jul 24th, 2013 10:18 AM
So my buddy was insistent on pursuing this relationship, and I realized I needed to forgive him. I can't ditch my friend over this, and of what benefit would I be if I just tried to forget the friendship. Eventually, his girlfriend started coming to our Bible study. I ended up becoming ordained and marrying them, which is an interesting question of morality, but I'm not bothering to delve into it; probably never will.

Because just over a year ago, my best friend was killed in a motorcycle accident. His wife was 3 months pregnant or so with their first (and now only) child. Events like this have an interesting way of causing us to re-evaluate what is important and what is not. After my friend's death, I spent some time wondering what was important, if anything. I came to the conclusion that fulfilling the role that God sets for us and lays out in the Word of God is what matters. To become the best husband and leader I can be. To become the best father I can be. To use my gifts for the furtherance of the kingdom. To serve my God however I can. As a result, I began training to become a leading elder in my church. I dedicated myself to reading the word every day, and I have kept to it. I am still saddened by the loss of my friend, but I have the knowledge that the Lord works all things together for good to them that love God and who are the called according to His purpose. I know that He is sovereign and there are no mistakes. And I know that God is good. I can see how God has used my buddy's death for good in a lot of lives. His widow and child attend church almost every week, where my buddy and his wife were doing well if they came once a month...usually much less. I can see where my life has been changed for the better since his death in that I have a better handle on priorities. I can see where my other friends' lives have been changed for the better in the same way. God is good. Thanks for reading.

Thanks for sharing that...
Posted by eryn on Jul 11th, 2012 6:01 PM
I have a family member much the same; its grievous, and so I continue to pray and remember how our Lord knows when the sparrow falls...only he can teach a sparrow to fly; we follow Him by His spriit, and trust His wings.


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