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A "Merry Christmas"?
Posted by feathervine on Dec 25th, 2013 8:30 AM
This morning I awoke to mistake the day of festivities to be tomorrow's bringing. I have no money, which means none of my family got a thing, and that means that I don't care, right? I do not wish to leave my room, for I do not deserve anything outside of it... but I must go, for them. My heart is heavy.

I will do better next year, [and every day in between].

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Facing family was not that bad.
Posted by feathervine on Dec 25th, 2013 9:53 AM
Though I did notice that, amongst all of us (4), everyone either got some form of:

This, I feel, is unacceptable, I cannot wait for the opportunity to show them what gift-giving is REALLY about! Usefulness aside, let's show 'em what it's like to give a gift with HEART! biggrin.gif

Moments later...
Posted by feathervine on Dec 25th, 2013 8:38 AM
My younger brother beckons I join them on the outside (of my room), and I attempt to do so. On my 6 to 7 step way down the hall, I am just flooded with all of the years that I walked that hall, that morning, as a young child. I was brought to tears.
Back in my room, I am. I do not deserve this. They do not deserve the lack of magic that I brought, either. I feel such shame.
(Which is good, in some ways. I just wish I had felt it sooner so that I could have used it to push me to have made today better.)


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