maddogmikk's Journal

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Member:
maddogmikk

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Group:
Celtic Nation

Zodiac:
Willow

Joined: 02-Jan-2011
Birthday: 19-Apr-1985
Total Posts: 74
Realm: Northern Michigan





  
everything. Life is to short. I am in to trying anything once. If after that i do not like it well then its not in my list, only not Scrapple. and if you do not know what it is, it's liver and fatback from a pig boiled down a lot of times and ground down a lot of times to make this loaf looking thing that you fry up and eat................. to see more look on youtube and enter Dirty jobs scrapple and you will no y.
  
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its been a while
Posted by maddogmikk on Mar 2nd, 2014 1:10 AM
Well its been a long time well a few years. At the time I was really sick and i mean on death bed sick. Never found out what was wrong don't care to ever find out. But I did find something that was and still is great and that is God Jesus and the Holy Spirit. When I found Him I was on the last day of the three weeks that the Drs gave me to live. I choose to listen to that still small voice in my heart and say please for give me lord and i was. Its been a long bumpy walk be I'm still here. Healed and loving God. It's a hard walk but a fun one. More to come but I hope someone reads this and it gives them hope that there is Some one that Loves them and wants to help.... Just ask him. Lord help them


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lonely
Posted by maddogmikk on May 25th, 2011 10:09 AM
Why is it every time I find someone that will listen and be a shoulder that I can lean on theres some reason why it's not going to work?I hate it. It makes me feel so alone. I guess I did something to someone at sometime and now karma is getting me back. I feel like I'm in this huge hole and I'm trying to climb out but I'm never going to make it. So I sit in this hole for days and days. All alone and the some one stops by and I think I'm going to get out and then there's some reason why they can't help. Their to busy or their to young or they just plain don't care. The whole young thing is I found someone on this site that has been more then helpful they've listened and i thank you , then I find out how old they are. great Im 26 their under 18. so thats all i need right. some one thinking i'm some kinda freak right, so i'm back in the hole. all alone. again. it sucks i hate it I'm not sure how long this times going to last, wish I would have brought a umbrella and a lunch lol


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Were is the love
Posted by maddogmikk on May 8th, 2011 8:12 AM
I love the song that the black Eyed peas sing. " were is the love."
It makes you wonder were is the love. It's it wrong to help out a neighbor or a person you have never met face to face? Is right to sit back and watch the lives of others go down the drain when you know that if you step in and helped it would make the world to that person? What would you do if the moment presented itself would you stop and help out? Which one would you help out first? \A kid/adult that needed food, a women/men getting mugged, or a lonely neighbor down the street that hasn't had a Christmas in the last 25 years because her/his family are a_ holes. Which one would you help if knowing the only thing your getting back is the feeling of doing something good?
If your answer is all, the more power to you. Just watch out, If you help out that much you may not have anything left for yourself. I know this for a fact. I have answered yes. If you answer no to any of these stop and think Why? Why would (yourself) say no to helping? If you were in these problems would you not want someone to help? So why say no? And if you answered some one else will help, get this. It is proven that a group of people are less likely to help someone were a a couple or single person(s) will help out.
So if you don't get this lets make it a little simply.
If you were in a group of people and you walked past a crime you would not stop and help because it is proven that you would think " someone else will help out". Everyone in that group would think the same thing and no one stops. But if you were with your girl/guy or by yourself you would help out in a sec. So with this little info would you truly help out? Will you go against the norm? Would you stop and put human life before yourself? Or would you sit back and let it happen? Peace out everyone and think thou out your day, Were is the love?


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Hate
Posted by maddogmikk on May 3rd, 2011 10:20 PM
Imagine this. Your sitting by your self. And you start to hear a voice. It's in side your head. And all that voice tells you is things to make you hate your self.
Here is what you hear.

You know something, I just figured out something. I understand why you almost died. Why your blood tried to kill you. It's because your nothing but sh*t josh. She knew right off the bat that you were not worth the time. She was right. Look your wife hates you. Your friends hate you. Your family hates you. Soon your kids will learn to hate you. i think they should have just let you die. It would have been better. Your so messed up your own mother wanted nothing to do with you and she almost killed you josh. I think it sucks that she failed. If you had died no one would have cared. now your nothing but a problem for people. I keep telling you to do things but you don't listen josh. I think your scared Josh. What's a little pain going to matter to Amanda. She's only staying because she thinks she has to. She doesn't care. Look at tonight. Ha ha. No one cares. you even asked and still nothing. I do love the fact that your alone. O great writing again. I just think that if you went and found a belt and beat yourself with it this would make everything better. Shh don't write that. Dam it josh will you stop writing and listen. Just a little pain that's it. you've been bad. You need to listen and I'll help you. WILL YOU STOP WRITING. I hate your writing. It' makes you feel better. and make it easier for you to forget that I'm here.

That never ends for me. It's still going on but now is like listening to static. A whisper. It's easy to tune out after i let things out. I tried to tell Amanda this but you know what happens. LOL. well not really lol it kinda sucks.

thanks again for listening have a good night.


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mmmm
Posted by maddogmikk on May 3rd, 2011 9:50 PM
I've tried and tried and tried. Every turn I take i seem to fail. I find out that when I need help it;s not there anymore. Why? Because no one think's it true. No one understands that I feel like I'm alone. I feel like not one person cares. Tonight I passed out. I was cooking and then I was looking up at the ceiling. A little worried I ask my wife if she could take me to the hospital. I get your making it up. Why do i try? I wish I had a button I could push and everything would be better. I have no one in my life I can talk to. Amanda gets mad every time I need some one to talk to. Josh and Nic take it as me be a ass. Juan can't talk. So he's ok. It's his job and girl. Joe passes it off as some kind of religion. And my folks don't shut up about Justin. So that leaves me with this. Something that can't hug me and say it's ok cry or vent or just go to sleep in my arms josh. I have you josh. It's safe. The voices can't hurt you today. the way you feel inside josh it'll be better tomorrow josh. Just lay here and be at peace. No the only thing I get from the one's I love is a BIG F&ck you josh. Deal on your own. I love and I love. I give and give and give. Last night I stay up and hold my wife in my arms well she has nightmares about her childhood. But when I ask for help I get f&ck you. And you know what sucks I can't say it back. I can't leave Amanda alone with her night mares. I can't tell josh and nic f&ck you. I am there when joe needs something. I'm there when my parents need some one. I to nice. I love to much.
And not one person care's.

thank you again for listening


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