I'm having issues with my wedding party. I have three bridesmaids for sure (my three closest girlfriends). Well I also have 6 sisters, plus two sister-in-laws. I was only going to ask one of my sisters cause of our relationship together. I wanted it small cause ma boy only has three groomsmen so far.... Well last thanksgiving my oldest sister asked all of us to make a packed (sp?) that none of us will be each others bridesmaids (she's been a bridesmaid like 8 times, she doesn't want to do it anymore). I've always had my heart set on my one sister to be in my wedding party. So I asked my older sister what if I just don't ask her. And well her reply was that she would be incredibly offended if I didn't ask her even though she doesn't want to be in it...??? So by default I am going to ask all three of the older sisters. Well that makes 6 bridesmaids now. My one future sister-in-law would have no problem with me not asking her, but my other sister-in-law (married my brother) would be VERY offended if I didn't ask her. So I kinda need to ask her, so in that case if I'm going to ask one sis-in-law then I should ask the other. Keep in mind I'm the first girl in either side of the family to get married. This is a big deal.
So now I have 8 bridesmaids.
But wait it doesn't end there!!! My youngest sister is the flowergirl. She's 6.
So here's my biggest dilemma. I have two more sisters. They are 13 and 14. Too young I think to be bridesmaids and too old to be flower girls. What the heck am I supposed to do with them?????? I can't have all my sister but those two in the wedding. To me that is just wrong. But I can't think of anything for them to do. Does anyone have any ideas.
It's at times like this I wish I had more brothers. Cause you know guys don't make big deals out of not being asked and whatnot.
Some people said that I should have my two sisters do the readings. I think that's a good idead but I don't think it's enough.
I need some suggestions. PUHLEASE!!!!!!
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There's a dear little plant that grows in our Isle Twas St . Patrick himself, sure, that set it; And the sun of his labour with pleasure did smile, And with dew from his eye often wet it. It grows through the bog, through the brake, through the Mireland, and they call it the dear little shamrock of Ireland.
Well...I will first say Congrats!! My younger sister just was married in Las Vegas on Jan 2 but is now having a reception for family & friends who could not come at the holiday season. My youngest daughter was her flower girl but my two older daughters (age then 13 & 16) were in charge of welcoming guests as they arrived, having them sign the book, taking gifts to the table and other "smaller" things...it worked out nicely. Perhaps they can be in charge of something like that. Boy...it does sound like you'll have a full house.
I come from a family with 4 daughters and NO sons. However between my 2 older sisters, there are now 7 boys. I have one but I also have three daughters...so for us...luckily the numbers worked out...
As the planning progresses, you'll learn that a wedding (particularly the first) has much in common with a funeral; it's much more for the family than the guest of honor!
So here's my biggest dilemma. I have two more sisters. They are 13 and 14. Too young I think to be bridesmaids and too old to be flower girls. What the heck am I supposed to do with them?????? I can't have all my sister but those two in the wedding. To me that is just wrong. But I can't think of anything for them to do. Does anyone have any ideas.
Two words: junior bridesmaids.
My sister did this for her wedding. My brother-in-law's youngest sister was about that age when my sister and brother-in-law were married. She got to be up on the altar, pose with the bridal party for the pictures and eat at the big table at the reception, and she didn't have to do all of the bridesmaid stuff.
Also, a side note about the last wedding I went to. Not really relevant, but cute.
My brother-in-law's sister was getting married. My nephew was the ring bearer and my nieces were the flower girls. The bride's other nephew, who's about four months old, was listed in the program as "Understudy Ring Bearer".
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Mike F.
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Wow ain't wedding planning just grand.....NOT! LOL!
Junior brides maids is a good suggestion, so is the one about having them do the readings.
You don't need groomsmen for Junior Brides Maids, they can walk together.
Also have you thought about greeters, they hand out the wedding programs if you have them, I dont know what type relious ceremony you will have but so relgions have gift bearers and acolites... just some more thoughts for you...
I find it very funny how the simplest wedding that is supposed to be small just grows by leaps and bounds, my wedding was to be less then 50 people but by the time the inlaws and my family got through we had ovr 250.
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Other suggestions - Ringbearer, or if you have a long enough vail - let them carry that one.
I am surprised that married women are bridesmaides. I was always under the impression that only unmarried women - hence the word maides - were there.
The same with groomsmen - unmarried.
Were as Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor and Best Man - it doesn't matter since they are supposed to witness the union. But then again - in Germany a lot of things are different.
But seriously...if you haven't asked all your sisters to be in the wedding yet, my advice to you would be to do one of two things. Personally, I believe that the wedding is about the bride and groom, and not everyone else. However, if you want to avoid having the issues with the family, I would just make the personal sacrifice and not have your sister in the wedding. Then it sounds like you and your husband to be will both have 3 wedding party members which will keep things small and keep presure off your fiance to find more groomsmen.
Conversly, and the solution I prefer, you can just lay down the law and tell everyone that this is your wedding, and your special day, and since youa re trying to keep it small you are simply going to ask the sister you have in front of your mind to be in your wedding party. Tell your older sister that it wasn't fair of her to demand everyone be banned from being in weddings just because she is tired of it, and that if she is willing to try and have her sisters make this pact just so she doesn't have to be in any more weddings then she has no right to complain about not being asked to be in one.
Your wedding should be how you want it and should fit your dream. Don't let anyone try and muscle you around into doing things their way for YOUR special day. They either already had their day or will have their's someday in the future. Until then, they can just be happy for you and do what they are told.
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May those who love us love us And those who don't love us May God turn their hearts, And if He doesn't turn their hearts, May He turn their ankles, So we'll know them by their limping.
Being married once, I was pretty much demanded to have my future sis-in-law in my wedding when I didn't want to. We just didn't get along and I really didn't like her. I had to overlook all that and kindly asked her to be one of my bridesmaids.
She accepted and then she took over my wedding. Every decision that I made was pretty much overturned because she had a better one and everyone didn't fight her because she was married and knew what she was talking about. I finally had enough and exploded four weeks before the wedding and told everyone, including the future husband that this was my wedding, and at the time I thought my only wedding, and I wanted it to be the way I wanted it, not like what someone else wanted.
So I had everything the way I wanted, except for her standing up there with me.
This is your day!! Don't compromise what you want for other people's feelings. If you don't want them in your wedding, get them all together and explain to them that you want a small wedding and being that said I would love for all of you to be in it, but unfortunately I can't.
As far as your younger sisters, I like the idea of them doing the readings and being hostess' (handing out programs). Also, an idea. Instead of a bridesmaid, why not have one of them be your personal assistant? She can make sure the guys are getting ready, flowers are in place, dj is scheduled, photographer in place, helping you get ready, calming down the parents, that kind of thing. I know I wish I had one!!
Ahhh, yet another reason why men avoid weddings, except as guests when there is a free bar. Honestly, It's your wedding. Do what you need to do to keep your wedding memorable. Congratulations !
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Excuse me, you spent four years studying what? If you're going to bring this production in under budget, then you'll have to do some acting. Have an "all girl planning day" and invite (compel) ALL the bridesmaids to attend to "help you plan" the big day. About half way through, "breakdown", become hysterical and start sobbing that there's no way you can afford for everyone to be in the wedding, then "storm out" and "disappear for the rest of the day. Show back up at supper. This will possibly do three things: 1. People will be volunteering to stay out of the wedding. 2. People will volunteer to help with money (grab it fast). 3. You get to lay a guilt trip on them 'cause they gave you one.
At least you can fantasize.
In case any of you guys are wondering 1. Show up 2. Shut up 3. Follow instructions
This is for the wedding AND the rest of your life.
Everyone seems to have the same or similar ideas. There are plenty of other tasks at the wedding that your sisters and in-laws can do i.e. sing/play at the wedding or reception, readings, eucharistic ministers... Don't be afraid to deligate tasks. The big day is when you should not have to worry about anything outside of which color lipsick you want to wear; you are already going to be stressed out as it is don't make things worse by having to worry about any other minor things that might come up or need to be handled.
Congrats and best wishes!
Mary
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