Dear maddogmikk, I hope things have gotten better for you. Life gets hard on us, but I can assure you that we are all in that hole with you at one point or another. Unfortunately, it's so dark we don't see each other. Things do get better. Something that helped me was doing something new. I was trying to find support from people in my life who wouldn't do it, so I did it myself by using art.
Again, I hope things are going well for you.