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Posted by maddogmikk on May 3rd, 2011 8:50 PM
I've tried and tried and tried. Every turn I take i seem to fail. I find out that when I need help it;s not there anymore. Why? Because no one think's it true. No one understands that I feel like I'm alone. I feel like not one person cares. Tonight I passed out. I was cooking and then I was looking up at the ceiling. A little worried I ask my wife if she could take me to the hospital. I get your making it up. Why do i try? I wish I had a button I could push and everything would be better. I have no one in my life I can talk to. Amanda gets mad every time I need some one to talk to. Josh and Nic take it as me be a ass. Juan can't talk. So he's ok. It's his job and girl. Joe passes it off as some kind of religion. And my folks don't shut up about Justin. So that leaves me with this. Something that can't hug me and say it's ok cry or vent or just go to sleep in my arms josh. I have you josh. It's safe. The voices can't hurt you today. the way you feel inside josh it'll be better tomorrow josh. Just lay here and be at peace. No the only thing I get from the one's I love is a BIG F&ck you josh. Deal on your own. I love and I love. I give and give and give. Last night I stay up and hold my wife in my arms well she has nightmares about her childhood. But when I ask for help I get f&ck you. And you know what sucks I can't say it back. I can't leave Amanda alone with her night mares. I can't tell josh and nic f&ck you. I am there when joe needs something. I'm there when my parents need some one. I to nice. I love to much.
And not one person care's.

thank you again for listening

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